the CORNY JOKES thread

post here the corniest jokes you encountered!!!
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Comments

  • gundamgundam DEITY PExer
    Q: Saan kumakain ang mga basketball player?
    A: E di sa foodCOURT!

    WAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

    Ang corny ano.

    :D
  • guy_25guy_25 Member PExer
    Question: Sino pinakamayamang artista?
    Answer: Si Bing Loyzaga!
    Question: Bakit?

    Haaaaaaay nakuuuuu
  • paganpagan never argue with an idiot.. PExer
    Q: anong hayop ang paborito ni ZsaZsa Padilla?
    A: eh di Dolphyn

    Tom: alam mo bang namatay na si Aiza?
    Jon: ows? papano? saan?
    Tom: Sa guerra
  • anomalyanomaly just a dreamer... PExer
    Anong hayop ang rakista?
    E di ROCKoon!

    Anong banda ang mahilig humungi ng tali?
    E di Metallica

    Anong banda nmn ang mahilig umubos ng ink
    E di Incubus
  • zid_08zid_08 I is Genious PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    anong sabi ng isang namamatay na isda sa isa??

    "Im daing."

    Anong sabi ng isang statwa sa kapwa istatwa?

    "STATUE?"



    corny!!!
  • DI10DI10 Member PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    nakakatawa ha!!! lol!
  • uLapkOuLapkO Member PExer
    Q: BAKIT "S" ANG NASA DAMIT NI SUPERMAN??
    A: KASI WALA NG MEDIUM!!!
    HALATA NIYO.. FIT DIBA!!!

    NYAHAHAHAHA :rotflmao:
  • nakakatwa pa rin 'yung iba.
  • SeRpEnTmInDSeRpEnTmInD P®o©®AsTiÑaTo®™ PExer
    Tanong: Bakit hinihila ang tali?

    Sagot : Kasi mahirap itulak!
  • Tanong: Bakit hinihila ang tali?

    Sagot : Kasi mahirap itulak!

    natawa ako dito. :rotflmao:
  • anxious_loneranxious_loner certified bored PExer
    sa jeep...

    pasahero: manong bayad po...
    jeepney driver: saan galing tong bente?
    pasahero: huh?...e di sa bulsa koh?!

    ----

    Q: ano ang sunod ng city?
    A: e di otso!!
  • paganpagan never argue with an idiot.. PExer
    uLapkO wrote:
    Q: BAKIT "S" ANG NASA DAMIT NI SUPERMAN??
    A: KASI WALA NG MEDIUM!!!
    HALATA NIYO.. FIT DIBA!!!

    NYAHAHAHAHA :rotflmao:
    ampoocha!!! :rotflmao:
  • tidgetidge lie and die PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    tanong: ano ang tawag sa may maitim na kili-kile?

    sagot: " edi! KILE-KILLER" :rotfl: mwaaahahahahahahahaha
  • orangef1orangef1 Rebel without a Cause PExer
    bakit ***** si superman? inuna yung brief sa pantalon.

    bakit mas ***** si batman? ginaya niya si superman.

    HAHAHAHA!
  • torontoron deep fried PExer
    Who says that it’s all gloom and rancor in Philippine society nowadays because of our despicable, self-centered and amoral politicians? Here are some authentic Philippine signposts, probably reflecting the people’s age-old capacity to laugh at anything whether in good times or bad times:

    Michael "Mike" Tan of Asia Brewery once told me that a restaurant grill in Mandaluyong and Makati was for sale, it’s name was "TOM CRUZ GRILL." I told him, sorry, I’d prefer Nicole Kidman anytime!

    MARUYA CAREY BananaramaCue – at a menu signboard in Potato Corner kiosk in Greenbelt, Makati.

    SYLVESTER SALON – sign of a neighborhood barbershop

    BREAD PITT – name of a bakeshop in Project 6, Quezon City.

    NO CROSSING PEDESTRIANS WILL BE APPREHENDED – a sign at Philippine Coconut Authority (Philcoa), Quezon City.

    NONE ID, NOTHING ENTRY – a sign at construction site in Cubao, QC.

    NO PARKING THE DRIVEWAY – sign at St. Anthony School in Singalong, Manila.

    STOP! DON’T PARKING –sign beside Windsor Inn on Maceda Street, Sampaloc, Manila just across the 7-11 convenience store at Dimasalang Street with its own sign "SORRY FOR INCONVENIENCE."

    MONGRILL – an eatery in Bacolod City, Negros Occidental.

    CURL UP & DYE – name of a beauty salon where you can send your foes!

    MABUHAY FUNERAL PARLOR – funeral parlor in Paco, Manila.

    GOTO HAVEN – congee eatery in Sta. Mesa, Manila where sinners are presumably off limits.

    TAPSI TURBI – not the true state of the nation, but real name of an eatery selling Tapa, Sinigang, Turon and Bibingka.

    WANTED BOY WAITRESS –sign outside Baguio City eatery.

    COOKING NG INA MO –signboard of a streetside carinderia.

    COOKING NG INA MO RIN –sign across Cooking ng Ina Mo eatery.

    BEFORE PAY, TELL WHERE GET THE ON BEFORE GET THE OFF – butchered English signs in some buses which should be corrected or else our impressionable students might no longer qualify for call center jobs!

    GOD KNOWS HUDAS NOT PAY – sign inside some jeepneys.

    My apologies to cigarette smokers, but this is a sign I suggest all establishments should put in their nonsmoking areas: IF WE SEE YOU SMOKE, WE WILL ASSUME YOU ARE ON FIRE AND TAKE APPROPRIATE ACTION.

    SLOW MEN AT WORK – A sign in a PLDT road construction site. I believe this sign should be posted in all government offices to shame our so-called "public servants" into doing public service for us hapless taxpayers!


    When I once saw this sign in front of a road repair construction site with no workers in sight, I almost blew my top in what westerners might describe as "road rage" when I think of the new 10% E-Vat burden all of us have to endure – SORRY FOR INCONVENIENT, YOUR TAXES IS WORKING FOR YOU!



    english-filipino dictionary

    NEW ENGLISH-TAGALOG TRANSLATION:

    Contemplate-not enough pinggan

    Punctuation-pera para maka-enrol

    Ice Buko-Is my hair ok?

    Tenacious-Footwear for tennis

    Calculator-Tawagan kita mamaya

    Devastation ? Dun sasakay ng bus

    Protestant - Tindahan ng prutas

    ***** - Malawakang gutom

    Statue - Ikaw ba yan?

    Predicate - Pakawalan mo ang pusa

    Dedicated - pinatay ang pusa

    Aspect - Pantusok o pandurog ng yelo

    Deduct - Ang pato

    Defeat - Ang paa (ng pato?)

    Detail - Ang buntot (ng pato?)

    Deposit - Gripo (Call DIPLOMA if DEPOSIT is
    leaking)

    City - Bago mag-utso; A number to follow 6 (c richelle...)


    Persuading - Unang Kasal

    Depress - Ang nagkasal sa PERSUADING

    Defense - Ginamit ng mga pangsulat sa kontrata
    sa

    PERSUADING

    Delusion - Maluwang (kapag maluwang ang damit,
    eh DELUSION)


    Balance Sheet - What comes out after eating a balance diet

    cdrom - tingnan mo ang kwarto

    debug - ang ipis

    defrag - ang palaka

    defense - ang bakod

    defer - ang balahibo

    deflate - ang plato

    detest - ang eksamin

    devalue - 'yon ang susunod sa letrang 'V'

    devote - ang boto

    dilemma - brownout! , a!

    effort - 'dun nagla-land ang efflane

    forums - apat na kwarto

    july - nagsinungaling ka ba?

    thesis - ito ay...

    1. Use TENACIOUS in a sentence.
    I went to the shoe store to buy a pair of TENACIOUS.
    2. Use DEDUCT, DEFENSE, DEFEAT,and DETAIL in a sentence.
    DEDUCT jumped over DEFENSE,first DEFEAT and then DETAIL.
    3. Use DEPOSIT in a sentence.
    I hear dripping in the sink. I think DEPOSIT is leaking.
    4. Use PERSUADING in a sentence.
    Jack and Jill got married on June 1, 1997. So on June 1, 1998, they are going to celebrate their PERSUADING anniversary.
    5. Use DEVASTATION in a sentence.
    Every morning I wait for the bus at DEVASTATION.
    6. Use IRAQ, IRAN, and EGYPT in a sentence.
    IRAQ is bigger than a stone. IRAN faster than my friend. EGYPT is smaller than a truck.
    7. Use CUISINE in a sentence.
    I hope you studied last night because our teacher might give a CUISINE math.
    8. Use PAMPERS and PAPERS in a sentence.
    At the gas station, some people PAMPERS and some PAPERS.
    9. Use SCHOOLING in a sentence.
    Ring, ring.....Hello? Who SCHOOLING?
    10. Use TOENAIL in a sentence
    To get to Kaneohe, you must go through Wilson Toenail.
    11. Use EMPIRE in a sentence.
    Ready! Aim! EMPIRE!!!
    12. Use DEFICIT in a sentence.
    When I go to the pool, I check out how DEFICIT.
    13. Use HOSTESS in a sentence.
    Hello? Hello? HOSTESS?!!
  • [G]erald™ wrote:
    nakakatwa pa rin 'yung iba.

    hindi corny yung iba.
  • xxiixxii No Comment PExer
    juan: anong gulong ang di umaandar

    pedro: ANO

    juan: edi RESERBANG GULONG!!!!!!
  • xxiixxii No Comment PExer
    BATA SUMAKAY SA JEEP:

    BATA: Manong Bayad po..
    DRIVER: san galing??
    BATA: sa akin poh..
    DRIVER: papunta san??
    BATA: sayu..
    DRIVER: HUH??
  • xxiixxii No Comment PExer
    mag-asawang mataba...

    babae:"sweet ham.. tumataba ba ako?!?"

    lalake:"(diyoskopo ang tanong na pinaka mapanganib sagutin sa
    lahat..)Ahermm... di ba bumili nga tayo ng full length mirror
    para kita ang buong katawan natin?!?...
    sa harap ng salamin...
    lalake:"dapat ikaw ang nakakakita nyan kung tumataba ka o hindi..
    well..?!?"

    babae:"lumiit ung salamin.."
  • xxiixxii No Comment PExer
    MISIS: Lolokohin ko mister ko. Magpapanggap akong "pick-up girl" dito sa may kanto namin.

    (Pagkita kay mister) Hi, pogi! available ako ngayon.

    MISTER: Ayoko sa iyo. Kamukha mo misis ko.

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