the CORNY JOKES thread
cutiecutiebell
Member PExer
in Small Talk
post here the corniest jokes you encountered!!!
0
cutiecutiebell
Member PExer
cutiecutiebell
Member PExer
cutiecutiebell
Member PExer
cutiecutiebell
Member PExer
Comments
A: E di sa foodCOURT!
WAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
Ang corny ano.
Answer: Si Bing Loyzaga!
Question: Bakit?
Haaaaaaay nakuuuuu
A: eh di Dolphyn
Tom: alam mo bang namatay na si Aiza?
Jon: ows? papano? saan?
Tom: Sa guerra
E di ROCKoon!
Anong banda ang mahilig humungi ng tali?
E di Metallica
Anong banda nmn ang mahilig umubos ng ink
E di Incubus
"Im daing."
Anong sabi ng isang statwa sa kapwa istatwa?
"STATUE?"
corny!!!
A: KASI WALA NG MEDIUM!!!
HALATA NIYO.. FIT DIBA!!!
NYAHAHAHAHA :rotflmao:
Sagot : Kasi mahirap itulak!
natawa ako dito. :rotflmao:
pasahero: manong bayad po...
jeepney driver: saan galing tong bente?
pasahero: huh?...e di sa bulsa koh?!
----
Q: ano ang sunod ng city?
A: e di otso!!
sagot: " edi! KILE-KILLER" :rotfl: mwaaahahahahahahahaha
bakit mas ***** si batman? ginaya niya si superman.
HAHAHAHA!
Michael "Mike" Tan of Asia Brewery once told me that a restaurant grill in Mandaluyong and Makati was for sale, its name was "TOM CRUZ GRILL." I told him, sorry, Id prefer Nicole Kidman anytime!
MARUYA CAREY BananaramaCue at a menu signboard in Potato Corner kiosk in Greenbelt, Makati.
SYLVESTER SALON sign of a neighborhood barbershop
BREAD PITT name of a bakeshop in Project 6, Quezon City.
NO CROSSING PEDESTRIANS WILL BE APPREHENDED a sign at Philippine Coconut Authority (Philcoa), Quezon City.
NONE ID, NOTHING ENTRY a sign at construction site in Cubao, QC.
NO PARKING THE DRIVEWAY sign at St. Anthony School in Singalong, Manila.
STOP! DONT PARKING sign beside Windsor Inn on Maceda Street, Sampaloc, Manila just across the 7-11 convenience store at Dimasalang Street with its own sign "SORRY FOR INCONVENIENCE."
MONGRILL an eatery in Bacolod City, Negros Occidental.
CURL UP & DYE name of a beauty salon where you can send your foes!
MABUHAY FUNERAL PARLOR funeral parlor in Paco, Manila.
GOTO HAVEN congee eatery in Sta. Mesa, Manila where sinners are presumably off limits.
TAPSI TURBI not the true state of the nation, but real name of an eatery selling Tapa, Sinigang, Turon and Bibingka.
WANTED BOY WAITRESS sign outside Baguio City eatery.
COOKING NG INA MO signboard of a streetside carinderia.
COOKING NG INA MO RIN sign across Cooking ng Ina Mo eatery.
BEFORE PAY, TELL WHERE GET THE ON BEFORE GET THE OFF butchered English signs in some buses which should be corrected or else our impressionable students might no longer qualify for call center jobs!
GOD KNOWS HUDAS NOT PAY sign inside some jeepneys.
My apologies to cigarette smokers, but this is a sign I suggest all establishments should put in their nonsmoking areas: IF WE SEE YOU SMOKE, WE WILL ASSUME YOU ARE ON FIRE AND TAKE APPROPRIATE ACTION.
SLOW MEN AT WORK A sign in a PLDT road construction site. I believe this sign should be posted in all government offices to shame our so-called "public servants" into doing public service for us hapless taxpayers!
When I once saw this sign in front of a road repair construction site with no workers in sight, I almost blew my top in what westerners might describe as "road rage" when I think of the new 10% E-Vat burden all of us have to endure SORRY FOR INCONVENIENT, YOUR TAXES IS WORKING FOR YOU!
english-filipino dictionary
NEW ENGLISH-TAGALOG TRANSLATION:
Contemplate-not enough pinggan
Punctuation-pera para maka-enrol
Ice Buko-Is my hair ok?
Tenacious-Footwear for tennis
Calculator-Tawagan kita mamaya
Devastation ? Dun sasakay ng bus
Protestant - Tindahan ng prutas
***** - Malawakang gutom
Statue - Ikaw ba yan?
Predicate - Pakawalan mo ang pusa
Dedicated - pinatay ang pusa
Aspect - Pantusok o pandurog ng yelo
Deduct - Ang pato
Defeat - Ang paa (ng pato?)
Detail - Ang buntot (ng pato?)
Deposit - Gripo (Call DIPLOMA if DEPOSIT is
leaking)
City - Bago mag-utso; A number to follow 6 (c richelle...)
Persuading - Unang Kasal
Depress - Ang nagkasal sa PERSUADING
Defense - Ginamit ng mga pangsulat sa kontrata
sa
PERSUADING
Delusion - Maluwang (kapag maluwang ang damit,
eh DELUSION)
Balance Sheet - What comes out after eating a balance diet
cdrom - tingnan mo ang kwarto
debug - ang ipis
defrag - ang palaka
defense - ang bakod
defer - ang balahibo
deflate - ang plato
detest - ang eksamin
devalue - 'yon ang susunod sa letrang 'V'
devote - ang boto
dilemma - brownout! , a!
effort - 'dun nagla-land ang efflane
forums - apat na kwarto
july - nagsinungaling ka ba?
thesis - ito ay...
1. Use TENACIOUS in a sentence.
I went to the shoe store to buy a pair of TENACIOUS.
2. Use DEDUCT, DEFENSE, DEFEAT,and DETAIL in a sentence.
DEDUCT jumped over DEFENSE,first DEFEAT and then DETAIL.
3. Use DEPOSIT in a sentence.
I hear dripping in the sink. I think DEPOSIT is leaking.
4. Use PERSUADING in a sentence.
Jack and Jill got married on June 1, 1997. So on June 1, 1998, they are going to celebrate their PERSUADING anniversary.
5. Use DEVASTATION in a sentence.
Every morning I wait for the bus at DEVASTATION.
6. Use IRAQ, IRAN, and EGYPT in a sentence.
IRAQ is bigger than a stone. IRAN faster than my friend. EGYPT is smaller than a truck.
7. Use CUISINE in a sentence.
I hope you studied last night because our teacher might give a CUISINE math.
8. Use PAMPERS and PAPERS in a sentence.
At the gas station, some people PAMPERS and some PAPERS.
9. Use SCHOOLING in a sentence.
Ring, ring.....Hello? Who SCHOOLING?
10. Use TOENAIL in a sentence
To get to Kaneohe, you must go through Wilson Toenail.
11. Use EMPIRE in a sentence.
Ready! Aim! EMPIRE!!!
12. Use DEFICIT in a sentence.
When I go to the pool, I check out how DEFICIT.
13. Use HOSTESS in a sentence.
Hello? Hello? HOSTESS?!!
hindi corny yung iba.
pedro: ANO
juan: edi RESERBANG GULONG!!!!!!
BATA: Manong Bayad po..
DRIVER: san galing??
BATA: sa akin poh..
DRIVER: papunta san??
BATA: sayu..
DRIVER: HUH??
babae:"sweet ham.. tumataba ba ako?!?"
lalake:"(diyoskopo ang tanong na pinaka mapanganib sagutin sa
lahat..)Ahermm... di ba bumili nga tayo ng full length mirror
para kita ang buong katawan natin?!?...
sa harap ng salamin...
lalake:"dapat ikaw ang nakakakita nyan kung tumataba ka o hindi..
well..?!?"
babae:"lumiit ung salamin.."
(Pagkita kay mister) Hi, pogi! available ako ngayon.
MISTER: Ayoko sa iyo. Kamukha mo misis ko.