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Adopted Child

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  • pagbata ka pa at di mo naintindihan kung bakit ka pinaampon mahirap tanggapin alam ko kasi isa rin akong ampon, nalaman ko when i was 6years old nung nag-away kami ng kalaro ko at ipagsigawan nya sa face ko na "ampon-ampon", I was crying then...uwi me ng bahay then i ask my foster parents while im crying and my "mom" told me its true but they love me more than their life and sabi nya pa ang pagmamahal nya sa akin ay kulang nalang ay manggaling ako sa sinapupunan nya at yung word at pagmamahal na yun ang pinanghawakan ko. although marami parin ang nagpapamukha sa akin na ako'y ampon tuloy ang pangarap ko na hindi magtatapos ang buhay ko sa pagiging ampon lang, so I hold on to my dream kasama ang foster parents ko, at ngayun .... ako ay isa ng successful nurse dito sa England, at never kong pinabayaan ang umampon sa akin kasi sabi nila nung pinag-aral ako ng foster parents ko sa manila ng nursing...karamihan ng mga kapitbahay nmin nagsasabing magsisi daw ung mga parents ko dahil di sila nakasigurado na makakatapos ako and kung ibabalik ko rin yung love nila sa akin pagtanda nila and i proved them wrong dahil mahal na mahal ko yung parents ko ngayun so ang sabi nila sa parents ko" ang swerte nyo nman sa anak nyo" samantalang nuon sabi nila "ang swerte ng ampon nyo", Ito ang di naiintindihan ng marami na totoo di masamang maging "ampon" pero di nila alam pag sinasabi nila sa bata na ikaw ay ampon lang pinaparamdam mo sa bata ang di pagiging kompleto ng pagkatao nya, at yan din ang battle ko nuon, naging aloof ako sa mga kapitbahay namin ang inisip ko nalang nuon ay yung pagmamahal na binibigay ng foster parents ko. Ngayun wala ng bitterness sa puso ko kasi my foster parents made me to be a better person and to my biological parents(R.I.P.) i thank them also kasi di sila nagkamali ng taong pagpapaampunan sa akin and yung dream nila sa akin na dinila naibigay dahil sa hirap ng buhay ay naisakatuparan ng umampon sa akin and i know na kahit wala na sila they are happy kung ano na ako ngayun.....
  • I'm not adopted, so I obviously don't know how it feels. I would think that most adopted kids feel depressed at least once, because they don't know where they belong or they feel betrayed.

    Personally, I think it's a really great thing. Some people might feel that their "real" parents did not want them, but this is generally not true. It takes a lot to just carry the baby around for nine whole months and to endure all the pain of giving birth. After all, the mother chose to give the baby life instead of just getting rid of him/her the easy way out of her problems. Also, parents, especially mothers, don't just give someone they've carried around for nine months - someone that's a part of them, away like that. The fact that they were able to do such a hard thing not only shows maturity on their part but also shows that they kept the baby's future in mind, that they wanted to give their baby the best possible.

    Equally beautiful is the idea that someone that has no links or ties to this baby, essentially, a complete stranger, chooses to take in and chain himself/herself to the child eternally. It's a gesture that shows this adoptive parent's desire to offer the baby life, love to him/her for a lifetime, one that shows the parent's willingness to carry this baby's burdens and to share his/her sufferings. They no longer limit themselves to the superficial definition of "mine" or "yours" or "theirs" because they transcend these boundaries with their big happy hearts.

    Some people stuggle with the idea of "real" parents. I believe that your true parents are the ones who raised you, not necessarily the ones who gave birth to you. I mean, of course the biological parents deserve credit, but perhaps the adoptive ones deserve even more. They are the ones who laugh with you when you're happy and cry with you when you're sad. They are the ones that taught you to walk, to learn, to pray, to reach for your dreams, to seek your passions. They are the ones who teach you right and wrong, the ones who raise you up to be a responsible person who can contribute to society.

    So adopted ones, feel loved =)
  • My mom has a younger sister who is adopted. Baby pa lang siya nung inampon so she practically grew up with my lolo na. D kami close kasi tahimik siya. We tried reaching out to her pero siya yung lumalayo. Tapos a few years back, nalaman namin na nadiscover nya na ang pagiging ampon nya. Although hindi legally adopted, may sulat kasi yung mom nya sa lola ko na inihahabilin na nga yung auntie ko sa lola ko. Nung nawala yung letter na yun, dun narealize ng lolo ko na nalaman na nga nung auntie ko na ampon siya. She's much younger than me at nalaman nya yun 6 years ago pa. Naghihintay lang siya na magexplain lolo ko. Pero dahil Ilocano lolo ko at laging mataas ang boses nya pag nagsasalita, hindi nya yun maeexplain ng maayos without being misinterpreted. Nagtalo pa sila ng mom ko kung sino dapat magsabi. Last week lang talaga napagusapan yun at mom ko na kumausap dun sa sister nya. Inexplain nya ng maayos. Wala rin kasi alam lolo ko sa pagampon kasi nasa UAE siya during that time na inampon ng lola ko yung bata.

    Yung auntie ko kasi lagi mainit dugo sa lolo ko. Hindi mahuli ng mom ko na bumubulong-bulong kaya d nya rin masabihan. Traumatized yata dahil sa disciplinary methods ng lolo ko at uncle ko. Naaawa rin naman kami kaso it has to be a 2-way street. Kinausap rin ng mom ko yung lolo ko na wag masyado sisigawan auntie ko at the same time yung auntie ko dapat tumulong ng konti sa bahay at magadjust na rin. Wag nya masyado ihiwalay sarili nya sa ibang tao. May mga friends naman siya so I guess that balances her situation sa bahay. At least may mga nakakasama siyang ibang tao bukod sa mga tao sa bahay nila.

    Hopefully, there'd be some changes sa kanilang household. We never treated her any different just because adopted siya. We tried reaching out but I guess d lang talaga kami vibes. We offer help from time to time, lalo sa school work nya pero hanggang dun lang yung relationship namin with her. Sana in the next few years, maging close sila kahit papano. Matanda na kasi lolo ko. Sayang naman kung d pa sila magkakasundo.
  • AltweggAltwegg PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Dapat din nating iparamdam sa kanila na they belong para hindi na sila madepress.

    I love my little brother who's adopted and is turning 12 next year.
  • neneodinneneodin PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    Duon sa may mga adopted child lalo na baby pa lang ay inampon na,napansin ninyo ba na ang mukha ng ampon habang lumalaki ay nahahawig sa umampon?

    Ito ang napapansin ko sa adopted child ng brother ko.Dahil ginahasa yung mother nung bata ,at ayaw nya sa baby nya ,kaya kinuha ng brother ko.Ngayon ay 20 years old na at ang laki ng hawig sa mga tunay na anak ng brother ko.

    Alam ng buong baryo na ang bata ay ampon pero takot sila sa brother ko kaya until magdalaga na ang "pamangkin"ko ay di pa rin nya alam.Pero minsan sa school nya ay may tumukso sa kanya na"ampon".Dun nya tinanong ang parents nya kung tutuo.Sagot lang ng kuya ko"kung ampon ka,bakit kamukha mo nanay mo at yung mga kapatid mo!?"".
  • AltweggAltwegg PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Ang daming nagsasabing kamukha ko ang aking little brother. Ang swerte naming pareho!

    :glee:
  • I am an adopted child, and I'm not ashamed to say it!

    to answer some questions/statements:

    1. About kids going all insane and rebel when they find out they are adopted -- some kids do this because they feel hurt and feel their life was or is a lie. Personally, I never felt this way. My parents told me when I was 6. I think it's how they tell you or how you find out.

    2. ano bng pakiramdam ng isang adopted child?
    It's nothing different. I feel a little special actually. Aside from being adopted, I'm an only child. I love my parents so much! They have loved me as their own since I can remember. They never made me feel that I was not their blood. My mom gave me this poem and one of the lines that stuck was "I grew in my mom's heart, not in her tummy". I was never bitter about being adopted.
    3. how can u forgive kung hindi un ang ginusto mong buhay?
    We never were given the choice to choose our parents, adopted or not. We just have to make do with what we have. Be grateful that we didn't end up in the streets or as a sex slave or something.
    4.how can u face all ur probs kung d ka close sa mga nag adopt sayo?
    I've always been close to my parents.
    5. mga tanong n where is my family?
    I've wondered about my biological mom more than my dad. she was an Irish missionary here. I only know her first name. My parents never met her, but I do want to know more. There are so many questions I want answered, esp. medical questions. I also am entering a new phase in my life, going to get married soon, and I want to fill that missing link. I want to know where I got some of my antics, that no one in my family has.
    Pano bng mabuhay bilang adopted child?
    Life has been good for me! I wouldn't change it for the world. I just wish there were some people who wouldn't be so judgmental right away. But if they weren't there I wouldn't be so strong, I wouldn't be who I am. For those kids who hate being adopted, always think, it's so hard for a parent to give up a child they carried in their stomach for 9 months. They didn't give you up because they don't love you. They did it because they love you and want to give you a better life, a life they know they can't give you.
  • Ash21Ash21 PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    Me, I want to adopt ng baby girl. Marami diyan nagpapabort samantalang yung iba walang anak at gusto nila magkaanak. Di ba nila alam na blessing yon?
  • we have an adopted brother...

    dito na siya since 1 week old pa lang...
    now, he is grade 2...
    cute cute niya... super spoiled...

    4 lang kami magkakapatid... when he came, 5 na... haha!

    napagkakamalan anak ko... lol

    yung mga di namin naranasan nung bata pa kami, binibigay namin...
    ganda ganda pa lagi ng bag niya... twice magpalit every year...
    gusto niya lagi yung may gulong... uso daw sa school nila yun...

    minsan uuwi din yan galing sa paglalaro...
    umiiyak... tapos di sinasabi anong dahilan...
    kaya di na namin pinapalaro sa labas ng bahay...
    loob na lang siya, video games.

    tapos minsan nanood sila ng isang sis ko ng "wish ko lang"
    tungkol sa batang inampon... iyak talaga siya...
    biruin niyo ilang taon lang siya that time... mga 5 years old...

    alam na kaya niya? di kasi namin alam sasabihin namin
    pag dumating na yung point na tatanungin na niya sa amin...
  • yup.... my baby brother is beginning to look like my other brother!

    except the teeth... his teeth are different from ours...
    we are planning to have them braced pag college na siya siguro...

    para madami siyang chicks na mahalina!!!!
  • I'm not adopted, but I think the reason why some adopted kids resent or rebel against their parents is related to abandonment issues. Medyo Freudian-psychological to, at mahirap intindihin for people na hindi nakaranas nun, at masyadong malalim to connect to resentment and rebellion, but I think that's the reason. I think it's a strong deep down unexplainable feeling that they were abandoned and therefore not wanted at least once in their life. Big thing to sa kanila, aminin man nila or hindi. Some would result to projecting this emotion to someone or something else, just so they could vent it out. In most cases, sa adopting parents napupunta ang galit.

    Parang ganito. Yung mga kids na iniwanan ng parents nila, most of them feel na it's their fault. Yung iba nga na sinasaktan ng parents nila, minsan ganun din. Feeling nila it's their fault kahit hindi naman. Irrational pero ganun eh. If these events are experienced early in life, ganun ang effect niya, kahit ba sabihin natin na irrational. I just read some articles about this and observe this from movies and tv that I watch.
  • nikkilovenikkilove PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    ahyen wrote: »
    ano bng pakiramdam ng isang adopted child?

    > to be adopted is a blessing.. i feel very grateful kc they adopted me..

    how can u forgive kung hindi un ang ginusto mong buhay?

    > actually, i don't care about my real parents anymore kc they gave me up but that doesn't mean that i hate them coz i don't... i just don't see any reason for me to find them or whatever kc it might just hurt me once i find out the reason why they left me just like that..

    how can u face all ur probs kung d ka close sa mga nag adopt sayo?

    > i admit na ndi ako talaga close sa adoptive parents ko pero i have naman my friends and i learned to rely on myself kapag may problem ako kc wala naman talaga akong ibang maaasahan kundi ang sarili ko...

    *** feeling lonely?

    > i'm used to it...

    *** mga tanong n where is my family?

    > i never really questioned that but wherever they are i hope they are happy...

    pano ka magi2ng msaya kung nkatira ka sa bahay n kahit kaylan *** kng narinig na maganda mula sa mga gurdian mo?

    > they don't treat me bad naman eh, syempre i made mistakes in my life that made them say bad things that they didn't mean to pero fault ko naman talaga and i understand them naman...

    Pano bng mabuhay bilang adopted child?

    > minsan malungkot, minsan masaya and complicated... but i am happy where i am and ayoko ipagpalit yun sa kahit na saan..

    Good for you! :) May you always be blessed with happiness and contentment. *okay*
  • nikkilovenikkilove PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    jing1234 wrote: »
    we have an adopted brother...

    dito na siya since 1 week old pa lang...
    now, he is grade 2...
    cute cute niya... super spoiled...

    4 lang kami magkakapatid... when he came, 5 na... haha!

    napagkakamalan anak ko... lol

    yung mga di namin naranasan nung bata pa kami, binibigay namin...
    ganda ganda pa lagi ng bag niya... twice magpalit every year...
    gusto niya lagi yung may gulong... uso daw sa school nila yun...

    minsan uuwi din yan galing sa paglalaro...
    umiiyak... tapos di sinasabi anong dahilan...
    kaya di na namin pinapalaro sa labas ng bahay...
    loob na lang siya, video games.

    tapos minsan nanood sila ng isang sis ko ng "wish ko lang"
    tungkol sa batang inampon... iyak talaga siya...
    biruin niyo ilang taon lang siya that time... mga 5 years old...

    alam na kaya niya? di kasi namin alam sasabihin namin
    pag dumating na yung point na tatanungin na niya sa amin...

    Swerte nya sa inyo! You have a wonderful family, with the love youre showing him, I don't think it would matter to him if you told him the truth. Proper timing lang siguro.

    Dapat ganun di ba? Kung di mo kayang alagaan o ituring na parang tunay mong anak or at least close to it, na parang pamangkin, wag ka na lang mag adopt.

    He could have been adopted by someone else who'd treat him better, and you deprived him of that.

    So to you and your family, great job! *okay*
  • We have an adopted child who's now 6yrs old. We got her immediately after birth.My husband and I decided early on to tell her the truth gradually. So as early as 2yrs old, we kept on saying that she was a special "gift" from God because she is the answer to our longtime prayers,and that she is the baby that we have been waiting for until God finally sent her to us, through another mom. She knows that she didn't came out from my tummy, but I told she came from my heart. We always assure her of our unconditional love. Many times she would asks questions, and we just answer her truthfully in simple terms that she can understand. I believe it is better that she learns it right from our lips ( as young as she is ), rather than hear it first from other tactless people and that would cause her more pain later.
  • kreukkreuk PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    tanong ng anak ni juday: mommy was i from your tummy
    sabi ni juday: no baby, u came from my heart...
  • kreukkreuk PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    adopted children are a blessing to the family who adopted them kasi they brought joy to them. all kids bring joy to people. i love kids very much.
  • kim Gkim G PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    meron akong friend na may adopted daughter since birth.Alam ng bata na she is adopted.

    One time napag usapan namin ng mommy about the daughter's adoption which the kid knows from day one.Sabi ng bata sa akin,"Of all the babies in the world,my mom choose because I am the most special one."And that is the sweetest words I ever heard!
  • I'm not adopted. But my mom (has a coworker) who had to go thru lengths to adopt 2 kids from the Philippines (1 boy and 1 girl).

    A couple of years ago, she had to take an absence of leave from work for about 2-3 years, just to adopt them. What I heard is that the law requires you to be with these kids physically for at least 2 years and have them in your custody. So, while she was back there in the Philippines, her husband was left here in the states all by himself to work and provide for them. I can't begin to imagine how difficult it must have been for them, just for the sake of adopting 2 kids and having a family.

    From what I heard, each of the kids real parents kept coming back to get them in their company. So, it was difficult for her to have a stable relationship with the little kids and getting them adjusted to the realization that she's going to be their mom. What she did, she moved to Manila (as far away possible from the real parents of the little kids).

    2 or 3 years passed and the adoption finally pulled thru. They all finally arrived here in the states last year and the kids are now going to school. The kids seem to be adjusting very well and they're quite smart. But, I hear that there are times that the little girl is asking her mom "Mommy, did I come from your tummy?" As for the boy, I don't know if he's began asking questions yet.

    Well, these kids she adopted are still very young...like 1st and 2nd graders (only elementary school students). So right now, they are not asking too many questions as of the moment. They think that their mom and dad are their real parents. But soon, they will grow up to be teenagers into adults and I'm sure that'll come a time when they'll have a lot of questions. Well, I just hope in the future these kids will grow up to become respective and thankful that their adoptive parents loved and cared for them as if they were their own kids.

    I also have an aunt and uncle who adopted a baby girl in the Philippines. She is now in preschool. Very cute kid. I just hope that when she grows up, she treats my aunt and uncle with all the love and respect that they've given her cause she's one lucky kid.:)
  • Only here in the Philippines medyo negative ang perception sa mga adopted children. Parang me stigma, kasi ang focus is that they were abandoned and unwanted children kaya pinaampon. and sometimes they treat them differently from their biological children, which shouldn't be. As for me, I'd rather call them "chosen child" dahil yun ang totoo. Even the birth mothers, cannot choose kung sino at ano magiging anak nila, pero sa adoption, the couple can choose the age, gender, even the looks of the child they want to adopt. Actually, having a "chosen child" is one great blessing especially for couples who have been wanting to have children but for some reasons couldn't have one. And because of adoption, I became a beneficiary of another woman's generosity. So to all birthmothers, thank you very much on behalf of all adoptive parents! I salute you !! Let me just share to you a poem I read. Here it goes....


    To me this life is very precious
    How different things would be
    For I was specially chosen
    My parents wanted me

    Into this world I was born
    Tiny and all alone
    My parents supporting me all the way
    I've developed and I've grown

    For I am very special
    I didn't just arrive
    I gave two ordinary people
    A genuine reason to strive

    If you too are adopted
    Remember the happiness you give
    To the family where you now belong
    Their life's complete to live
  • Please bear with me...

    I was adopted when I was 2 1/2 years old. But I knew, even before my foster mom read me "Annie".
    My foster mom was single but very wealthy. Self made. She traveled around the globe a lot.
    You would think I was very lucky. Everybody hated me. Thought I was trash and I would run away with her money.
    Behind closed doors, my mother was a monster.
    I was a very battered, physically and mentally abused child.
    Once, she stripped me naked and shoved me in front of a full mirror. She said I was ugly, no one would
    love me. Not even the nuns at the orphanage. i was 5.
    When I was sick, she makes me kneel with arms spread from night 'til dawn.
    If she's mad at someone she takes it up on me. She beats me everyday. Sometimes I am too numb with pain but
    I tell myself she'll get tired soon.
    I was so terrified of her. I felt so alone. I felt like a slave.
    Everybody turned their heads the other way. Deaf. Blind. and Mute.
    I became painfully shy and developed severe inferiority complex.
    When I was 9, she married an equally horrible man (who came from a rich, respectable family). he played mind games
    with me. Called me stupid.
    11 years old. She accused me of stealing her jewelries. Beat me senseless then sent me packing to her parents'
    house. They hated me. i was just 'sampid'. A month later, the nanny came forward to confess her crimes. But my
    foster mom did not take me back. She was complete with a husband and 3 kids of her own.
    I spent 12 years of my miserable life at my grandparents who never forgets to remind me that i owe the roof over
    my head and the food that i eat. i never celebrated my birthdays. i saw my mom in a couple of christmas reunions
    and had to pose awkwardly in the family pictures with them.
    i taught myself to speak english fluently. read every book, natl geo and life magazines. told myself it was the only
    thing i could do for myself. i had superior IQ accdng to highschool anual tests. not really important but that gave me
    hope. i wasn't stupid after all. but my grandfather ridiculed me. the self esteem was short lived.
    I did not finish college. Nobody wanted to be responsible for me. Inspite of the fact that everyone is doing well
    money wise. At this point my mother lost all her money to a couple of crooks.
    My aunt who paid for my 1 year in college obligated me to work at her tiangge. i was a saleslady for more than
    2 years, earning 50p a day. 6days a week. sometimes 7. that was how I paid her back.
    I wanted to be successful, not to get back at them. it was something for me. Between God and I. It might make
    everything worth while.
    I have tried to bond with my mother and her family when I was in my early 20s. She suffered nervous breakdown.
    i took care of her and lived with them for 2 years. But it did not work. My mother never bonded with me.
    When asked, she still says she only has 3 kids.
    I managed to get a good job. Got married to a loving husband. i am still not happy. i think i am permanently broken.
    so please, if you decide to adopt make sure you have a calling. treat that child as a blessing. you are accountable
    for that life. God will bless you ten folds if you do it right. we are good people too. we just needed to be loved.
    thank you.
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