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Adopted Child

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  • Ice BurnIce Burn PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    My youngest brother is adopted. And he knows it. He's actually my cousin. We wanted to adopt him when he was a baby but his mom wouldn't give him up. When he was 3 years old, his mom just dumped him on our doorstep and took off.

    We treat him as a sibling. My parents discipline him the way me and my siblings were disciplined. He calls my parents mommy and daddy. And he's a bit spoiled sa parents ko because he's the bunsoy at 10, my younger brother is already 19.

    His real parents are good for nothings. My tito is a drug addict, while his mom, (god knows where the hell she is), is a GRO. She's probably out there skanking off.

    He has abandonment issues. We've long taught him not to expect anything from his real parents. Paano his parents keep making empty promises to him. One time his father promised to pick him up and take him to Jollibee. He waited the whole day, and not eating. His father never showed up. I was really disgusted with his dad. Me and my sister felt sorry for him and took him to Jollibee instead. Tapos his mom, when she was still in contact with him used to tell all sorts of stories to him and make empty promises na susunduin na siya and everything.

    My parents really want to formally adopt him but they can't find his mother anymore to sign the papers. So my mom's planning to just pay off someone at the NSO to change his birth certificte to say that his parents are my parents. Kakaawa kasi, one time my family had to travel abroad, hinde siya nakasama and had to be left with my lola. Sometimes he says he wishes that his last name was my family's last name so that he doesn't feel different anymore.

    He gets depressed when he remembers that his parents left him.

    My parents let him indulge in hobbies and my dad and my sister makes the extra effort for him so he doesn't feel abandoned. So he's really close to my dad and my sister.

    So there he is, he has ADHD and dyslexia which my parent are having him treated (ADHD) and tutored (dyslexia) for. He's super makulit but he's very sweet. He's a budding business tycoon. He likes to help my sister make jewelry and perfume and then SELL them. He does taekwondo and he promised me before I left for the states that he'll take care of my dogs.
  • Grandparents ko, meron inadopt na baby boy para sa uncle/aunt ko (kasi 1 daughter lang meron nila, and alam mo naman kapag chinese families, dapat meron talagang lalaki), but the problem is ayaw na ng aunt ko, so stuck yung bata. He's 4 now and natirahan na niya ata lahat ng bahay ng aunts ko, he's living with my family for more than a year now.

    Favorite yan ng grandparents ko, full attention sila sa batang yun, favorite ko rin yun kasi magulo, masaya kalaro. Sana nga, iadopt na lang ng parents ko yun, kami na mag-alaga sa kanya.

    He's attending school now and ang kinakatakot ko lang is if he's asked who his parents are. Hindi ko alam ano isasagot niya since hindi pa siya nasasabihan properly. Yung parents ko saka yung ibang aunts/uncles ko, daddy at mommy + name ang tawag niya.
  • AltweggAltwegg PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    My little brother is turning ten next year. Can't imagine, isang dekada ko na syang inaalagaan.
  • AltweggAltwegg PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Bumping this thread up. Tomorrow is my brother's 10th birthday.
  • greet him happy birthday for me! *okay*
  • AltweggAltwegg PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Surely.

    Thank you.
  • Ok altwegg and to everyone, i'm the youngest in the family before our adopted (i'm almost altwegg's age too), and our adopted is almost 3 years old na rin. So I guess altwegg pareho tayo ng situation.
    Although honestly, I don't feel anything for children kaya ewan, parang I and our adopted boy don't interact. Pero I don't treat him badly either. :)
    Anyway... i'm also wondering, kasi he knows that he's adopted, at lalaki siya na alam niya na adopted siya. So will this be healthy for him? Much healthier than if he didn't know na adopted siya?
    I'm planning to teach him piano lessons siguro if he turns 4 or 5... san I have time...
  • AltweggAltwegg PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    pinoyexchanger2, I think it will be healthy that at the earliest, he is aware that he is a gift to your family. He is only 3 years old. You still have time to bond with him. Sige ka, minsan lang maging bata ang ating mga kapatid.

    :D
  • AltweggAltwegg PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Let's share more thoughts on this.
  • Altwegg wrote: »
    pinoyexchanger2, I think it will be healthy that at the earliest, he is aware that he is a gift to your family. He is only 3 years old. You still have time to bond with him. Sige ka, minsan lang maging bata ang ating mga kapatid.

    :D


    Altwegg, I certainly agree on this one. I don't know, but I just can't help to think (and oftentimes) feel that I'm one of the blessed "gift" children in this world. There is this feeling, especially when I'm with my relatives and other family friends -- an awkward feeling that they're talking about my "real" me secretly. It's like performing in a stage, where people are talking about you, without you knowing what it is all about -- all you know is... it's about you... something that is essential about you, a thing that, of all people, it's you who has the right to know about it. But you just couldn't ask them straight.

    I've lived a blessed and happy life and I've got nothing more to ask for... only the TRUTH, I guess. But I find it uncomfortable to ask them, "hey, am I a gift child?", out of respect to them; conscious that I might appear ungrateful. Before, when I was still younger, I always cry when I think about it feeling being lost and alone. But being on this stage of my life, I accept it and grateful on the idea of me, being one adopted child. Because thinking that if ever I have grown up on where I should live, would I still enjoy these things and achievements I have attained?

    Apparently I do not know if I'll ever hear it straight from my parents, now that I'm 21. All I know is that someday, I'll find the truth...

    ...Sadly, it may not come from the right people.
  • i made a thread ata last year asking who else is adopted. coz i learned lang din last year i was adopted. i hear rumors na din that i am adopted when i was in high school pa lang pero hindi ko pinapansin. napaguusapan kasi namin ito ng cousin ko din dati. medyo close kasi kami. we make kwento na feeling namin adopted kami etc... pero sya lang itong nag hanap ng evidence to prove na adopted cya. ako, puro hinala pa lang kasi wala pa akong confidence to face the truth. parang, so what? pa ko nun. then when my aunt got sick, mom nya, she confronted her mom na kung totoo na adopted cya, ayun inamin naman. napagusapan namin ulit ng cousin ko about her at confirmed, so i told myself din, i guess its about time na din na malaman ko ang totoo. kasi nagkataon din na sinabayan ito ng sibling war eh. i confronted one of my cousin thru txt, kasi takot din ako confront ng harapan eh. and ayun, thou not directly inamin, may hint na na adopted nga ako. i then confronted my ninang ng harapan na kasi alam ko na din eh. hay ayun! CONFIRMED! she asked me, anu na plano ko? as much as i wanted to find my real parents, wala ako clue where to start. why? kasi ayaw ko malaman ng family ko na i already know the truth. siguro sa death bed na ng mom ko ito sasabihin. nah, she's still strong now at 84. pero baka kasi mabigla pag ngayon ko komprotahin eh at baka ako maging sanhi ng whatever may happen to her. pag alam na nya, that's the time na din siguro i'll ask my sister. bunso ako sa 7 siblings. 11years tanda ng sinundan ko. so diba hint na yun? parang kung naging totoo akong anak, latak nalang ako.
    regarding sa real parents ko. sabi ng ninang ko, nanay ko daw ay maid ng mom ko. naanakan at natakot daw cya baka hindi tangapin ng parents nya, kaya ayun, pina ampon ako. nung unang years ko daw tumatawag tawag pa nanay ko sa mom ko kinakamusta ako. tapos matagal na di tumawag, then, mga 3 or 4 years old daw ako, nagkasakit daw ako at laging may nightmare (medyo naaalala ko pa yun), at parang pina tawas ata ako o albularyo nakita daw na may sakit daw ata nanay ko. then, last tawag daw nya sabi ingatan nalang daw ako... ayun... wala na. dont know what happened next. til now, wala pa sa family ko nakakaalam na i already know im adopted. may hint oo, pero not confirmed.


    so, thankful naman ako at super blessed ako sa binigay na parents sa akin. kahit na naging rebelde ako nun, love nila ako.

    but hopefully, sana mahanap ko din at makilala real mom ko at dad ko.
  • AltweggAltwegg PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Dumating na ang panahon na medyo kinatatakkutan namin.

    This morning when my dad fetched me from the hospital, sinabi niya sa akin na nag-iiiyak at nagsusumbong sa kanya dahil tinutukso daw siyang ampon ng mga pamangkin kong mas bata sa kanya. I was enraged! Matagal na daw siyang tinutukso. Sa dala ng aking emosyon, sumugod ako duon sa bahay nung mga pamangkin ko at sinermonan ko.

    A few minutes ago, magkatabi kami sa bed ng kapatid ko. Kinausap ko ng masinsinan at ipinaliwanag ko na ang lahat. Kung paano ko siya naging kapatid.

    Sinabi ko sa kanya na tuwing tutuksuhin siyang ganun, isipin niyang ako ang kuya niya at walang makakabago nito.

    Sana kahit 11 years old pa lang siya, naintindihan niya ang mga ipinaliwanag ko kanina.

    :)
  • may i ask, how will you confront the adopted child na she's adopted? (sorry for redundancy). thats my dilemma kasi we have one. we love her so much. balak nga ng dad ko i-migrate na sya sa canada with them kasi ayaw nya malaman ng baby namin. btw, she's only 4 years old. any comment on this?

    For me you don't need to. Kapag adopted ang isang tao alam na niya yun eh instinct lang. Just me her feel that na lahat ay mahal siya kahit na adopted lang siya. At hindi siya magrerebelde. besides iba na ang kabataan ngayon mas matalino! *okay*
  • hehe there is always attachment with you and your biological parents. It's the sort of attachment that differentiates family from friends. Iba rin talaga pag biological parents quite hard to explain. Since there is usually no blood connection between the two usually hindi nagiging close yung dalawa. Kasi walang reason for them to be close

    But then again the word parents is very subjective. Kung mahal mo tlga stepparents mo then why not diba? If they loved you as they would love their own child then you have enough reason to love them back.
  • Mr. YoMr. Yo PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    I'm adopted. I've been adopted since birth. I've known that since I was a kid. I'm not sure how old I was when I was told about it but I was really young I didn't even understand what it meant. But as I was growing up, the thought of not being a "true" member of the family slowly and painfully sank to my neurons. It was hard. I would sometimes (or perhaps often) cry myself to sleep thinking how unfortunate I was and how life was so cruel. I was myopic, you see.

    There were times when we would attend family reunions and I would be introduced to the other members of the family. It was always awkward. I didn't know where to place myself. Thoughts like "do I belong here?" ran to my mind. My parents wouldn't know how to introduce me, whether to bluntly tell them I'm their adopted son. But they would instead say, "this is our youngest". The other people would give each other a curious look, perhaps thinking, "they have a teen-aged son at their age?!" They're really too old to have a biological son my age, that's why. I was like, "Gawd, I hope they're not thinking what I'm thinking they're thinking." :rotflmao:

    I was slightly depressed. There were times when I would hurt myself to turn my emotional pain into physical pain because I didn't want to feel any more heartache. But it only magnified my sorrow in the process. physical pain + emotional pain = loony me. Stupid, isn't it? My narrow-mindedness was immense.

    But now, I'm quite happy and I really love my family (and I know they do love me, too). I appreciate all their sacrifices to give me the best life they could. I guess acceptance is the key. I realized that being a family isn't about blood. It's about love. And life is kind after all. You just have to look at some things in a different perspective to see good things about it. :)

    BTW, I never knew my "real" parents and I don't see the need or even feel the want to know them. But if given the chance, why not? That would be exciting.

    Off-T: Parang blog lang. :lol:
  • magshare lang ako.hi muna sa lahat.wala ksi ko malabasan kya d2 na lang sa forum.superlungkot pro kailangan labanan ang sama ng loob para na din sa mama ko. supermom,hero,dbest para sakin ang mom ko,pinalaki nya ko ng ok.mula bata pa lang naramdaman ko na sobrang nahirapan c mama sakin dahil nga cya lang nagpalaki sakin mag isa dahil yung father ko iniwan c mama nung nalaman na buntis sakin.lahat gnawa ni mama para sakin sobrang mahal na mahal nya ko lahat din ng mga relatives ni mama mahal na mahal ako.pro bgla sya nag asawa nung una ok pa yung asawa nya sakin,binigyan nya ko apilyedo. pero nung ngkaron cla ni mama ng anak,iba na yung pinapakita ng asawa nya sakin lagi akong binabatukan,sinisigawan,indi pinapansin.pati parang pinaglalayo nya kaming dalawa ni mama.lumaki ako ganun pa din ang sitwasyon ko d ako pinapansin ng stepfather ko sinisigawan,laging galit sakin,everytime na lalapit ako sa mama ko tinatawag nya mama ko.alam ni mama kung ano nangyayari pro cnasabi nya lang lagi sakin "yaan mona sya tatanda din yun ikaw naman ang mang aapi sa kanya" tiniis ko lahat para kay mama dahil ayaw ko magkalayo kami ng mama ko.pro last month gumawa na cya ng paraan para mapaglayo kami ni mama kung ano ano mga sinasbi nya kay mama at sinaktan nya ko pisikal. lumayas kami ni mama ng bahay pro naaawa ako kay mama alam ko mahal nya yung stepfather ko,kya nag dsisyon ako nalalayo cnabi kna lang sa mama ko na ihanap nya na lang ako ibang bahay.para sakin masakit po dahil first tym ko po malalayo sa mama ko,pro wala po ako magawa dahil bata pa ko,ngayon tinitiis ko po nawala sa tabi ko mama ko,sana po malampasan ko yung lungkot na nararamdaman ko kahit may gf ako nalulungkot pa rin ako dahil namimis ko mama ko.pro dko po pinapakita kay mama na nalulungkot o nasasaktan ako basta masaya mama ko ok na ko.alam ko darating din ang panahon na magsasama ulit kami ni mama.promise ko pagmatanda na sya ako mag aalaga sa kanya.
    salamat po sa lahat ng nagbasa.
  • cretinous00cretinous00 PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    during a company party, i was given a problem by the vice chairman. i'm the analyst in the bank so he must have thought i was smart. present were the president, and an assortment of VPs and managers. the problem:

    father, mother, and a 16-year old kid. issue: which university to go to (the kid of course.) the parents want the kid to go to ateneo (who wouldn't?) but the kid wants to go to UP (understandable only to UP people.) how to resolve?

    i thought a few seconds, tried to look smart and said, 'the kid is too smart for his parents. he is TOO smart. therefore, he's adopted.'
  • im an adopted child. a lucky one. :lol:
  • Let's revive the discussion. :)
  • honda_tohruhonda_tohru PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    this thread reminds me of an adopted guy that i've met way back... honestly speaking, gustuhin ko mang maging friend niya ay di ko nagawa coz he has a gf back then and napansin ko, the more na magkasama kami, i can see na he falls for me... i think it's more of like na naghahanap siya ng mother figure or something like that sa relationship... nahirapan ako and i don't have a choice but to walk away... i did the things na i know he will hate para isipin nya na lang na i'm such a jerk... i know back then na nagkakalabuan na sila ng gf niya pero i don't want to make things more complicated...

    yung effects siguro ng pagiging adopted, in many ways nakakaaffect ng relationship na papasukin nila... kung sa bagay adopted ka man o hindi, pare-pareho lang tayo nag-iingat... pero sa guy na yun na nakilala ko, i saw yung mga hang-ups niya na i know na result ng pagiging adopted niya... di niya kasi nalaman agad yung situation niya... nalaman niya na lang college na siya... aba'y mahirap nga naman pag di nalaman agad... >>sigh<<
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