Home PEx Family and Society Family, Friends and Society

over-dependent friends

I'm sure you have this kind of friend.

The one who can't live without their barkada or a specific ka-barkada kc dun sila mas-close or for whatever reason that they have. The ones who couldn't go to the bathroom alone and makes pasama with their girl friends and the ones who couldn't do things themselves and needs the help of other friends.

I have nothing against these kind of people, I'm sure they have their reasons but why do they do this?

Some people really don't like friends who are over-dependent to them. Lalo na yung kind of friends who asks for your opinion or idea then that's what they will follow instead of their own.

May friend ako who's exactly like this. She couldn't live without us. Only child siya so I guess that partly explains it. Masyado mababa ang tingin niya sa sarili niya and sa mga kakayahan niya. She doesn't have self-confidence pero maganda naman siya. I mean, malakas ang appeal niya and physically she's a looker. Pero what she does kc kind of irritates me. Kapag may lakad ang barkada dapat ipagpaalam pa siya tapos ihahatid pa sa kanila. Strict kc yung Dad niya kaya ganun. Kapag pupunta sa comfort room dapat may kasama pa siya, kapag nasa mall hindi niya matanong yung sales lady so ikaw pa yung magtatanong for her. I mean, does she really have to do that?

Maybe my friends don't see it but she's being TOO DEPENDENT and not only me pati din sa iba kong friends. Syempre hindi na sila maka-hindi kc nahihiya sila at kaibigan nila yun pero parang abuso na diba? From how I see it she's abusing my other friends already. And sobrang insecure pa siya kc daw she can't study this coming semester so she'll stop again. Pero we keep on telling her na she doesn't have to feel that way kc swerte nga siya kc kahit nahihirapan na yung parents niya sa pagpapa-aral sa kanya, ginagapang pa din siya kahit paano.

Siguro she's ashamed na tumitigil siya sa pag-aaral kc most of us in the group kahit may financial problems din eh hindi pa tumitigil. Mabait naman siya pero minsan sobrang arte naman. Tolerable naman kahit paano. I just don't understand why. Sabi ng gf ko na wag masyado i-baby kc nga daw umaabuso and that's what's happening already.

Please enlighten me and what do you guys think of this. Thanks! :D

Comments

  • i don't know if she's too old to change, pero wag nyo i-tolerate. pagalitan nyo pag sumosobra na and be serious about it, otherwise she'll keep trying to get away with as much as she can.

    magiging user-friendly yan. may hitsura pa naman.
  • Ice BurnIce Burn PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Eh di sabihan ninyo. What kind of friends are you if you can't even say anything about that sort of negative behavior?
  • Does she fit the profile for this disorder?
  • orangepinkorangepink PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    It all depends on how old she is. If she's in college, there's a chance for her to change. As a friend, gently but persistently encourage her esp yung part when she asks the saleslady for the price. May kaibagan din akong ganun & I'd tell her na samahan ko siya when she goes up to the saleslady but she should ask the price & not me.

    As for going to the CR, just tell her that you'll be waiting for her outside. If pilitin ka niya, keep reassuring her that anjan ka lang sa labas.

    As for the rest, I haven' really experienced that but I would probably tell her about it. Prankahin na lang siya.
  • SoliduS_AlphASoliduS_AlphA PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    heymikey : swak na swak yung category. dapat pag ganun binibigyan muna ng HTP test. Atleast merong mga unconsious stuff na mabubulgar dun.
  • i don't know if she's too old to change, pero wag nyo i-tolerate. pagalitan nyo pag sumosobra na and be serious about it, otherwise she'll keep trying to get away with as much as she can.

    magiging user-friendly yan. may hitsura pa naman.

    i am not tolerating it but my other so-called friends are.. as of now, she's being user-friendly already and i hate that about her..
  • Ice Burn wrote:
    Eh di sabihan ninyo. What kind of friends are you if you can't even say anything about that sort of negative behavior?


    sa part ko, ginawa ko na po yun... but i guess, my other friends don't realize that she's being what she is.. siguro para sa kanila, rude yun or something, medyo sensitive pa naman yung friend namin na yon.. umiiyak nalang minsan na ndi namin alam kung bakit..
  • heymikey:

    yeah, definitely!

    orangepink:

    she's young pa naman, 19 pa lang siya.. she could change but i doubt it kc my friends are tolerating it...

    i mean, it won't work unless the people around her realize that what's she's doing is not so good and that she should outgrow it.. last week, i wrote her a letter regarding her over-dependedness and she didn't react to it.. no letter no nothing.. siguro she knows na mas marami siyang kakampi kaya malakas loob niya..
  • clawed_outclawed_out PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    that's their loss kung hindi ka nila maintindihan.

    or baka naman hindi mo naipaliwanag ng maayos?

    we tell each other how it is kung may problema or issue, if they want us to share our POV.
  • I feel you, ahyen. I got a buddy who seems to think that I can bail him out at the drop of a hat.
  • orangepinkorangepink PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    ahyen : you're a good friend for wanting her to be more independent. Maybe you can talk to her gently but straight to the point since your letter was ignored. If she ignores your talk, then at least, you've done your part as a friend.
  • clawed_out wrote:
    that's their loss kung hindi ka nila maintindihan.

    or baka naman hindi mo naipaliwanag ng maayos?

    we tell each other how it is kung may problema or issue, if they want us to share our POV.

    maybe i didn't explain my side clearly pero i didn't say it in a manner na ma-huhurt siya.. i mean, that's the last thing i'd like to do kc i know na sensitive siya.. i understand her situation kc only child din ako, i've been through that stage pero not in such way na i would be such a hassle to other people and there's nothing that they could do about it..

    one of the reasons why i left our barkada is her, i don't want to be like her.. i don't want to live on being dependent on other people lalo na sa mga kaibigan ko.. i wouldn't want to get brain-washed and think that all i have is my friends coz in reality it doesn't work that way and i don't know how to let her realize that...

    its so hard kc outnumbered ako, 3 people against 1.. gusto nila na bini-baby siya or whatever pero WHY DON'T THEY ALL GROW UP? WE'RE IN COLLEGE FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE.. if that's the meaning of friendship for them, well it isn't with mine... for me friendship is being honest with each other no matter how hurtful it is as long as it were true and its for the betterment of the person involved...

    maybe we just have different ideas about so many things and so we don't really understand each other so i finally went on my own way...
  • The Beast wrote:
    I feel you, ahyen. I got a buddy who seems to think that I can bail him out at the drop of a hat.


    kakainis noh? tapos you don't share the same sentiments pa.. how hard it is to deal with such kind of person.. kung pwede lang talaga siya i-untog sa pader to make her realize that she's not a kid anymore and that she should be able to handle her own self is far from happening...
  • orangepink wrote:
    ahyen : you're a good friend for wanting her to be more independent. Maybe you can talk to her gently but straight to the point since your letter was ignored. If she ignores your talk, then at least, you've done your part as a friend.


    i guess it won't be my problem anymore.. i don't join them na and i rarely see them naman and when i do casual "hi" and "hello's" lang and that's it.. i've done my part, i guess it's enough.. if she doesn't want to be independent and be dependent on other people then that's already her problem in the future when her friends are already busy with their own lives.. i mean, our friends isn't there all the time dba? may times din naman na we have to decide and think for ourselves.. i just feel sorry for her kc i know that one day she'll realize that i was right from the beginning...

    there's nothing more i could do, if that makes her happy then i think i have no right to forbid her...
Sign In or Register to comment.