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Still comparing your dates to your x's?

PExMan_00PExMan_00 PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
My last relationship (seryoso) ended September 2003, and since then everytime I date, I keep on comparing them to my last X, who was actually pretty, intelligent, funny, hindi mabisyo and religious (all those nahanap ko sa kanya; baka nasa langit na yung mga hinahanap ko). All my past dates were only pretty or only mabait. That's why I can't avoid comparing them to HER. I never compared HER to them when I started dating, but once I get to know my dates more, lumalabas ang tunay nilang kulay. Even if I'm attracted to them physically. Will I ever get to find someone like HER? Ika nga ng mga kabarkada ko, mahirap maghanap ng seryosong relationship dahil mahirap maghanap ng single na gf material sa edad namin (25). All the good ones are taken (generally).

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Comments

  • dOnNa021dOnNa021 PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    ..coz you are still in-love with your ex!..it's okay to compare your ex sa mga dini-date mo, but to look for your ex's traits sa mga dini-date mo,hinde yata maganda..

    ..you can never find someone na katulad niya, but marami kang mahahanap na higit sa kanya!..

    ..stop comparing and start living!..

    ..kung gusto mo katulad ng ex mo, ba't hinde mo na lang sya balikan?..

    ..there's no such thing as gf/bf material..tayo lang nagsi-set non!..

    ..when you fall in love, really fall in love, hinde kailangan ng logical reason!..

    ..maybe, bitter ka lang sa break-up nyo ng ex mo, kaya hinde mo matanggap na yung girl na pinakagusto mo, ayaw na sa'yo!..

    *peace*
  • it's okei to compare, i think it's natural. but you have to realize that each of us are given a unique set of traits. ang meron sa iba, sa iba ay wala. obviously, you have a standard (which is just like/exactly like your ex) that a woman must able to meet so as to consider her a gf material, but again.. no two persons are the same, there will always be flaws.

    kung ako sayo.. just date and date girls.. you may not find somebody exactly like her but maybe close.. :)
  • well ako iba lolz.. mag kakamukha lahat nung past ex ko.. indi naman ako nag cocompare pero lolz i dunno.. tlagang mag kakamukha cla wahahahahaha... feeling ko kapag nag karoon ulit ako ng gf soon.. kamukha nanaman lolz
  • PExMan_00PExMan_00 PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    donna21: i am over her, what im saying eh siguro wala lang nakahigit sa kanya so far (hirap explain no?). may mga nakakahigit sa kanya, yun nga lang taken na. one time sa isang party i talked to this girl, i know we connected. the whole time kami magkausap sa party. yun nga lang kasama nya lagi bf nya. after that, hindi na kami nagkita ulit.
  • keep on trying malay mo nasa tabi-tabi lang yan....and besides marami pa mas higit sa ex mo...hindi mo pa lang siguro sia nakikilala:)...
  • I've been in your shoes before. The only difference is I'm a girl. I had a bf before who has all the traits I've been looking for in a guy. Good looking, gentleman, funny and intelligent in some ways. I think I've just loved everything about him because i love him. When we finally broke up its really hard to find again another guy like him. And what's wrong with that is I've set my standards which is very similar to him, which I'm very sure there's nothing like him. Every person has their own identities and personality,i know that. But for the past years I've been blinded by those standards I used to have and created in my mind. I can't blame you if you compare your dates to your ex. I used to do that before but everytime I do that, I always end up feeling hurt. :( It's a fact that you will never turn back the time and it's always true that some good things never last. But you know what? The best is still yet to come. I've learned that if i'll not let go of the bitterness in my heart there would be no chances for me to be happy. You have to help yourself, think of some ways that will make you happy. Always remember that, you should also love yourself. Your ex might be happy now with somebody else and I know you deserve to be happy also with someone special. You may never know she's just there. Be happy! ;):)
  • bato-bato sa langit, ang tamaan... BUTI NGA!!!!

    i've believed that those who set their standards for dating/looking for their next BF/GF is their ex, is a glaring LAME excuse to set for the next relationship. reasons...

    1. it's pathetic (plain and simple)

    2. like donna021 said, you're still into your ex (no matter how hard you deny it) coz if you're really over her/him, you need not compare

    word of advice: you're probably fishing in the wrong place... try somewhere else. most likely you'll hear people telling you to stop looking for love coz love finds you. don't get offended. it may just work. *okay*
  • baklitabaklita PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    often times we can't help but compare notes of ex or exes and the present or just a suitor pro hindi dapat ginagawa ito. unfair i-compare and bawat isa sa kanila. ikaw ba gusto mo ikumpara sa iba? unang-una, may kanya-kanyang katangian ang bawat isa na wala sa iba. pangalawa, we have to accept the person the way he/she presented himself/herself, not the way we want him/her to be. pangatlo, bawat isa ay may kanya-kanyang utang.

    aihihihi!!!

    baklita
  • in the first place, why did your relationship with your ex lead to break up?

    honestly, it's ok to compare. cguro kc u really have't found the girl who will stand out from among the girls u dated. For all you know, the "gf material" is thinkin of the same thing. No sweat.

    Just have fun. u dont have to be in a hurry finding the right girl. im guilty of doin the same thing. but i know cguro kc im jsut not ready for another relp.

    peace! *okay*
  • PExMan_00PExMan_00 PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    bout the breakup, medyo complicated e...

    milk.pink.comso: nagPM ako sayo bout acs thing, puno daw inbox mo

    :)
  • I find it "ideal" to compare the guy's you're dating to your ex's. Number 1 reason is that the reason why you had your past relationships is for you to learn from it. If you just forget about it, you'll never learn. Second is that it's just right for you not to settle for anything less. What else would be the reason for you to lose your ex but to find someone better. Would you ever settle for anyone less than your ex? If you would, you're going the wrong way. I would conclude that you're a "loser".
  • u still luv her. obvious naman e. in denial ka ba? :rolleyes:

    u may compare some characteristics with her pero if you're still hung up on her, kahit may hihigit...d mo makikita kasi sha pa rin iniisip mo.
  • cguro nga feeling mo na get over mo n ung feelings mo coz its been so long, but the mere fact that u still compare ur x with every gurl u mit eh,d ko know ano tawag dun...massabi ko lng, e unfair k kce u dnt give chance for others....=)
  • PExMan_00PExMan_00 PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    i do give chance to others... i only compare AFTER the dates didnt work out. and im talking multiple dates, which means, it didnt work out at all. so hindi naman ako nagcocompare habang date or time namin e.

    hope u got my side of the story.
  • queenkatiequeenkatie PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    there's no other reason but because you're still into your ex:D

    you have to be totally over her for you to be able to move on.

    when you go out, you must expect less, different women, different personalities, and no two individuals are alike.

    comparing before or after the date doesn't really matter. coz' at the end of the day, you'll still have that fixed expectation on your mind based on the characteristics of your past.

    for you to be happy, you must learn how to let go first:)
  • to move forward one must step forward.. one cannot move on if one cant leave his/her current position... just let go..
  • if ur comparing, ur stil not over the girl/guy...tsk tsk tsk..there are a lot of fishes in the sea. or shall i say lots of sea creatures out there. :lol:
  • baklita wrote:
    often times we can't help but compare notes of ex or exes and the present or just a suitor pro hindi dapat ginagawa ito. unfair i-compare and bawat isa sa kanila. ikaw ba gusto mo ikumpara sa iba? unang-una, may kanya-kanyang katangian ang bawat isa na wala sa iba. pangalawa, we have to accept the person the way he/she presented himself/herself, not the way we want him/her to be. pangatlo, bawat isa ay may kanya-kanyang utang.

    aihihihi!!!

    baklita


    Korek ka dyan baklita! :)
  • PExMan_00 wrote:
    donna21: i am over her, what im saying eh siguro wala lang nakahigit sa kanya so far (hirap explain no?). may mga nakakahigit sa kanya, yun nga lang taken na. one time sa isang party i talked to this girl, i know we connected. the whole time kami magkausap sa party. yun nga lang kasama nya lagi bf nya. after that, hindi na kami nagkita ulit.

    just noticed...

    You're looking for the same or someone much better than your ex. that's nice.

    ganun naman lahat eh. That's why they are called X's. :glee:

    till you meet the right mix (parang pi?acolada mixed ko) :D
  • /\ tama ang timpla.. tama rin ang tama.. :cheers:
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