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Is your Family Pressuring you to get Married? Have Kids?

Ice BurnIce Burn PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
Ever since I hit the age my mom got married...She's been saying..."anak, I got married at 24 and at 25 I had you na. When will you get married? When will you give me an apo?"

My grandma is much worse. She says to me..."Gusto ko makakita ng apo sa tuhod galing sa yo bago ako mamatay. Naunahan ka pa ng pinsan mo" (I had a cousin who got knocked up at a young age).

I find it very annoying. Honestly I am not ready to tie the knot let alone start a family. Mahirap yun noh! I'd rather be financially stable first...

It's more prevalent among families to pressure their female daughters...Actually most of my female friends encounter this. Especially those nearing 30 or older than 30 who are still single. The body clock routine and the pleading for apo's is becoming an incesstant nag for them.

Anyone here in the same situation?

Comments

  • DunedainDunedain PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    That's just the beginning. Wait 'til you get to plan the wedding part. They want "this and that" simply because their friends' kids' (heck, even the neighbor's third cousin's janitor on the next building at work's best friend's roommate's co-worker's librarian's political connection's... ...you know what I mean) wedding had "so-and-so" so your's had to be better, brighter, and more expensive. If they get into this part, ask them if they're going to hire Kuya Germs because it sounds like That's Entertainment. I offended my folks on this one but I asked her: "Who's the one looking for who for what?" After having said that, they've realized that I just knew how to run things my way.

    On the other side, it went pretty much the same. Then I told my would be in-laws that it'll be OK if they pay for all of it. And while they're at it with the whole "more-spectacle-than-any-Hollywood-song-and-dance-production", hire a few dancers that have these massive feathers and skimpy sparkly bikini tops and thongs from Las Vegas.

    Having said that about five years ago, to this day, my in-laws hates my guts. But at least she leaves me alone and she doesn't even try to run things in my home. :D
  • I guess I should be thankful since my parents aren’t like that. Once in a while my mother tells me and my sister that she doesn’t want us to get older without a family, but doesn’t nag us (yet???) about getting married. My father’s pretty much the same and I even have the feeling that he’s still quite happy that they have us with them. Although I know that he’ll be ok if we decide to build our own families.
  • clawed_outclawed_out PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Count me in.

    I sometimes tell them, if it comes it comes. I don't want to push something that I'm not ready yet. I don't want to be miserable in any sort just to satisfy everyone in the society.

    My friend even tell his family that some people are not meant to have kids. Not that they can't have one, they don't plan on having one as of this time.
  • It's more prevalent among families to pressure their female daughters...Actually most of my female friends encounter this. Especially those nearing 30 or older than 30 who are still single. The body clock routine and the pleading for apo's is becoming an incesstant nag for them.
    ---so true... I'm just in my mid 20's but the pressure is on.

    My family and friends are pressuring me in a subtle way so I could empathize with all of you guys.
    For instance, they would say "You and your boyfriend have been together for years already, why don't
    you get married na?" or like iceburn's "Give me grandchildren so i can play with them while i still can."

    I really don't mind but sometimes they influence me that sometimes i find myself urging my bf to marry me already.
    I'm not in a hurry but all these encouragement give me other ideas...and it doesn't help that almost all my pals are getting married or are married na...so...there :)
  • i guess when you're in your 50s or 60s, parents start to feel like they don't have a long time left to live. that's why they start demanding the next generation of you :D but yeah i suppose it's common.

    i see myself doing this when i'm 50 or so. just to see my kid get irreparably annoyed :P
  • ako parang ayaw nila ako mag-asawa. kung ako masusunod i want a new family. i want it soon.
  • Hmmm... interestingly, I don't have this pressure. When I was younger, my parents (especially my mom) would be vocal against unplanned pregnancies. Typical parental concern.

    But now I'm in my mid-20's, I haven't felt any pressure. I doubt they're looking for apo na and they have not made me feel na I can't marry if I have a special someone.

    Wow, thanks mom, dad!!
  • more of harassing than pressuring, and most of the time it comes from my friends (and my friends' parents!). My parents are cool, they don't give a sh|t as long as Im happy.
    Seeing how miserable my friends' married life is (compared to them being single), how dare them harrass me into getting married? Looks more like naghahanap sila ng damay. nek-nek nila. Im happy with my life right now, shoo!
  • Ice BurnIce Burn PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Dagdag...how my younger sister is making a pest out of herself:

    Sis: Why don't you get married na? I want to get married na kasi.
    Me: Eh di get married.
    Sis: Ayokong mauna sa yo. Ikaw panganay, dapat mauna ka.
    Me: Ha? In this day and age you still want to do that archaic practice of not getting married until the eldest get married first? Pwede ba!!! Tigilan mo ako, if you want to tie the knot. Go ahead.
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