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My BF is single...but has a kid!

I've been steady with this guy for almost two years now. I love him, and i feel i'd end up with him. Kaya lang he has a kid with his ex-gf, and the kid is in his custody. My family is clueless about his circumstance. How do i tell my family?!? Am scared to tell them kse sobrang conservative ng family ko. Am worried baka itakwil ako or they'd forbid me to see him :sweatdrop: help please. How do i go about telling my folks about it? :confused:

Comments

  • QuentinQuentin Montejo PExer
    oh, don't fret. once they know they'll get over it.
  • GreatBopGreatBop Beerhand Gets Big Pots PExer
    how old is the kid- that sort of matters too, you know.

    or just show the kid to your parents after the wedding..
  • sassyboosassyboo Member PExer
    GreatBop wrote:
    how old is the kid- that sort of matters too, you know.

    or just show the kid to your parents after the wedding..


    the kid just turned five. and i'm sure pag nagkatuluyan kami, the kid will stay with us 'coz the mom of the kid left for the US and married somebody else. abandoned talaga 'yung bata. i know i have to tell them sooner or later, 'coz i don't want my folks to feel betrayed
  • kelly_gandakelly_ganda eViL bEaUtY PExer
    i don't think that having a kid is still an issue nowadays. make them understand that you love this guy and that you accept the whole of him. show them that you're serious with this guy. but be sure that you really can accept him and his kid altogether. your parents may say some things about your relationship, but those are only pieces of advice. they just want the best for you so be prepared.
  • queenkatiequeenkatie world's best ex-gf ✭✭
    just lurking, who knows, i might have the same dilemma in the near future :eyecrazy:

    as long as you're at the right age already, i don't think your family could still do something about it, it's really your choice, but first you have to assess your feelings first towards the kid. do you sincerely accept her as your own kid na din? if you do, you'll find ways to make your family understand the situation. it would be hard at first since it's parang a package deal thing, buy one, take one ba. goodluck! :)
  • yvetskyyvetsky Member PExer
    as long as you love him, ur in the right age to decide for yourself, and if it will make you happy go for it! your family will eventually understand your situation. mabuti nga sya inalagaan nya ang anak nya, so at least alam mong magiging good dad sya :D
  • powerpuffpowerpuff AnGeL!cB!+cH PExer
    if u luv him, go for it. having a kid now is pretty normal. buti nga he's a good dad to his kid. i'm sure your parents will get over it. they just havta get used to d idea :)
  • GreatBopGreatBop Beerhand Gets Big Pots PExer
    well what matters most is... YUNG GUY MISMO. Prove to your parents na yung guy is a somebody (financially, educated, good family). and is someone very caring, etc. and after that swallowing the kid for them will be very very easy.

    otherwise, if walang trabahong matino, panget ang pamilya, etc.. yung bata'll just be an easy excuse for them para pahiwalayin kayo.
  • miaka913miaka913 It's been Monday all week PExer
    In this day and age, a guy with a kid that he takes care of is no BFD. Your family will get over it after awhile I'm sure. Besides, if he's a good dad to his kid, I don't see why your family won't like him. (It just goes to show that he's a responsible individual.)
  • riAbabyriAbaby Ya need heals? ✭✭
    lam mo mom ko has 2 kids na from her first husband when my dad met her. pero tinanggap sya ng dad ko, minahal at pinakasalan pa. ang dad ko ang tumayong parang tunay na ama sa mga half-brothers ko. strict din ang mga pamilya ng dad ko pero they got over it naman nung malaman nila. eh ano pang magagawa nila di ba?
  • gohattogohatto ephebo PExer
    yuck! excess baggage!
  • sassyboosassyboo Member PExer
    gohatto wrote:
    yuck! excess baggage!

    i posted here to seek advice on how to tell my folks about my bf-having-a-kid dilemma. he apparently has this so-called "excess baggage" and you do not need to rub it in. funny lang that it's "yucky" to you! :evil_lol:
  • wannabe_bridewannabe_bride dont settle! PExer
    i don't think that having a kid is still an issue nowadays. make them understand that you love this guy and that you accept the whole of him. show them that you're serious with this guy. but be sure that you really can accept him and his kid altogether. your parents may say some things about your relationship, but those are only pieces of advice. they just want the best for you so be prepared.

    i agree with kelly_ganda.. you should be sure na ikaw mismo tanggap mo yung bata.. good luck..
  • misty-eyedmisty-eyed *****yBrAtTyMe PExer
    hirap nga kung conservative family mo but the fact that your guy takes good care of his kid, plus pogi points yon kung open-minded parents mo. masama kung may anak na iniwan somewhere. and besides, ur guy never hid this thing from u, it was out in the open from the time u two began the relationship, right? so cguro naman d masyadong mag-freak out parents mo if ever. goodluck!
  • sassyboosassyboo Member PExer
    misty-eyed wrote:
    hirap nga kung conservative family mo but the fact that your guy takes good care of his kid, plus pogi points yon kung open-minded parents mo. masama kung may anak na iniwan somewhere. and besides, ur guy never hid this thing from u, it was out in the open from the time u two began the relationship, right? so cguro naman d masyadong mag-freak out parents mo if ever. goodluck!

    thanks, well-wishers :) i hope my parents won't freak out come the time i decide to tell them. i just don't know when... i've been wanting to tell them the moment i introduced my boyfriend to my family, kaya lang naunahan ako ng takot. i was afraid 'di nila makita na ok naman 'tong taong 'to and that the only thing they would be concerned about is pano kami paghihiwalayin. inasmuch as i wanted to be honest to my parents about his situation which i've learned since day 1 i've known him, di ko talaga magawa :c


    now that we're reaching our second year together, and nagpaparinig na sya na he wants us to get married na late next year, i feel i have to let the cat out of the bag! i just really don't know how to tell them, matanda na pareho parents ko, they're in their sixties na, moody ang dad ko, and emotional naman mom ko. i really don't know when and how to tell them. am really scared. minsan kse i have scenes on my mind na itatakwil nila ko and that 'di sila pupunta sa kasal ko...and i do not want that to happen :sweatdrop:
  • aina_crazy_girlaina_crazy_girl Thriving. PExer
    personally, ayoko.

    pero, depende rin sa tao yan.
  • miaka913miaka913 It's been Monday all week PExer
    sassyboo wrote:
    i posted here to seek advice on how to tell my folks about my bf-having-a-kid dilemma. he apparently has this so-called "excess baggage" and you do not need to rub it in. funny lang that it's "yucky" to you! :evil_lol:

    Don't mind gohatto. The Puberty stage is still kicking in..
  • freakster2k1freakster2k1 Member PExer
    mahirap nga. its hard din to break ties with family parang a part of you mawawala. Given na ang parents mo sigurado ko magagalit to the point na itatakwil ka, i guess nasasaiyo yan-- i mean hangan kailan mo ba pwede i hide yung kid? And the kid, i bet ko rin, is the coolest kid u know-- so he or she doesnt deserve to be hidden. So best way is harapin mo parents mo-- talk to them as mature individuals, ask them how they feel for each other and how they accepted each other's past and flaws. From there, you tell them that you feel the same way-- you dont see your Bf's flaws as flaws but as strengths to build on, and how happy you are with him.

    alam mo ang mga parents, they only want the best for their children. Pero you know mga parents din, they wil give up the best for their children's happiness. Kaya nga, when you quit piano lessons at age 7 to play tumbang preso, ok lang sa parents yun.
  • thiathefroggiethiathefroggie Member PExer
    I was in the same boat 2 years ago. I live now in the states and my boyfriend then was a single dad (he is kano). Ang pinakamadali is to tell your parents the truth about your boyfriend. The most difficult is to be able to discern if you are really right for this kind of relationship. Im sure if you have no doubts within yourself you can easily convince your parents about him being the right guy. Di ba if you believe in the product napakadaling i endorse sa ibang tao? I can just surmise that its easy for you to rationalize your doubts about this person (and his being a single dad) if it is projected on your folks. Just say it as it is. Ma and Pa, I love this guy and it just so happens that he is a single dad. I know he might have a kid out of wedlock but I am brave enough to be a stepmom and a wife at the same time. If you don't believe these statement in your heart of hearts, your parents will see through you and they will just verbalize your doubts.

    Mahirap maging stepmom on top of being a wife. I witnessed a lot of relationships end because its really really difficult. Good luck!

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