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Do you know people who sabotage their relationships?

Did you ever watch 'Butterfly Effect' in the cinemas? We were given the alternate ending there because the real ending was pretty controversial, ticking off Catholics in particular)

(warning, movie spoilers follow)

The alternate ending had Ashton Kutcher's character talk off his would-be girlfriend Amy Smart. Although Kutcher loved Smart and wante to be with her, he found that he could not make things work bnetween them without anybody going through a painful, mind harrowing experience, whether it was Ashton, Amy, Amy's brother, Ashton's mom. The only way he could fix things was make it so that they would never get along so that they would live happy lives separated fro meach other.

(spoiler ends here)

OK, so this thread is about the bad and hurtful things you did to the people you love, which at first glance seemed like you were being a jerk, or even horrible, but if someone understood your real motives or feelings, he/she wouls see that you did it because you cared for that person and did it to make them happy. I know this is not something everyone ca nrelate to, but I'm sure there's one or two experiences that you've had or heard of like this.


  • QuentinQuentin PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    heck, i do it to everybody @[email protected] my bestfriend can attest to that. not a day goes by that i make her cry :glee: and i still do even though she's in arkansas right now

    people mistake your actions for your intentions. you may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg.
  • kreukkreuk PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    parang movies? nooo. havent heard of any. pero meron akong alam na friend who was sabotaging his relationship after he found out his gf was two timing him. it's still them, and he still says iloveu... but gaguhan nalang.
  • that is sad. :(

    buti na lang wla akong kakilalang ganyan.
  • Yung alam ko naman ibang klase.

    They're in relationships pero kung ano anong kalokohan ginagawa kapag nalayo sa mga significant others nila - or kahit nga hindi nalayo eh. Imagine, they "do it" with other men. Ang gagaling nila no? P?tatitas to the very core. Kawawa naman yung mga boyfriends (assuming na matino ang boyfriends nila and they don't do the same thing behind their girl's backs). They're not "consciously" sabotaging their relationships pero ganun na rin yon eh. I wonder how they sleep at night. :rolleyes: Sarap lang talagang magsalita. Hay naku.
  • there are plenty of people who do that. in fact, sometimes i think it's genetically embedded in humans to hurt people they supposedly care for. :shrug:

    i've watched the butterfly effect and truth to tell, the storyline might be interesting but it certainly doesn't do justice to the reality of human emotions and intentions.

    my point? if you care about somebody, you try not to hurt them (no matter how "noble" your intentions are). no buts, no excuses.
  • No, mullah, of course not all relationships are like that, but relationships can be complicated things, embedded with different meanings and values to different people. There are relationships where you wilfully hurt other people, but that's not what I want to talk about. I'm not completely convinced in the causality proposed by the Butterfly Effect either, but it was just an example to get conversation going.

    Ok, here's a more realistic example: divorced parents. You know how dissolving your marital vows makes you look bad as a couple? But there are cases where it's the best thing for you, and the best thing for your child. You and your ex will be happier for it, and your child will be happier knowing that you are happy (and, benefit getting two pairs of parents). My point here is that you don't really want to hurt the other person, but you have to do something that's contrary to what you would want to do because it's what's best for both of you.

    So, let's keep this thread going, cuz I want to hear more from you guys.

    Read more. whatever. :)
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