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bakit ba ganun?

nainiis na talaga ako...

hindi ka maintindihan...

ang hirap tanggapin pero kelangan tiisin na ewan!

naiinis talaga ako... pero.. parang nde ko alam bakit...

lam nyo ba un feeling?


:( :( :( :(


  • emote lang..
  • parang kayo na hindi...
    Message: She is a 24-year old copywriter. He is an
    They met and became lovers in college. They
    broke up last year but remained to be "friends."
    They send sweet text messages and he calls her
    often to make sure she's okay. They still date.
    They still have sex. They don't see anyone else. It
    is obvious that they still love each other but when
    asked about their situation, she doesn't know the
    real score. Even her friends are in the
    dark. "Parang sila, pero hindi." She works in a
    telecom. He is reviewing for the board. They are
    the same barkada. They talk on the phone till 4
    am. He gives her chocolates, flowers and CDs
    even when there is no occasion.
    Their friends are suspecting something. Bakit sila
    nagsosolo kapag may overnight inuman? Why
    does he hold her close on the dance floor? Bakit
    sila magkaholding hands lagi? Sila kaya? "He
    hasn't admitted anything," she rants. "But I let him
    hug and kiss me. Parang kami, pero hindi."

    They work together in an ad agency. After
    office, they would watch movie, have dinner and
    stroll at Glorietta. She gave him Harry Potter
    books for his birthday in exchange for posing as
    her boyfriend to make an ex jealous. They made
    out during the company outing in Subic and never
    talked about it. He said "I love you" once but she
    wasn't sure if she heard him correctly because
    they were both drunk then. But one thing she is
    sure of is her
    feelings for him. She likes him. And she's
    assuming that with what he's doing to her and with
    her, he likes her, too. There's just one hitch: he
    a girlfriend!

    She is a 28-year-old virgin. He's a 35-year-old
    bachelor. Both mountaineers, they became close
    during their climbs. After a few dates in posh
    restaurants, he brings her to his condo where they
    would make out. They have been doing this for
    months. She wants to believe that "sila na" but
    then she's not really sure about it. "We don't talk
    about it but it doesn't really matter," she'd tell her
    friends. "What's important is I am enjoying this --
    whatever it is."

    The "parang kayo, pero hindi" stage. Others call
    it MU or mutual understanding. Pseudo-
    relationships. Pseudo-boyfriends. Flings. Almost
    like a relationship, but not quite. It is a phase
    where the persons involved are more than friends,
    but not quite lovers. Puwedeng may verbal
    agreement, puwedeng wala. One or both of you
    may have admitted your feelings, possible ding
    hindi. You just let your gestures do the talking for
    you. Walang pormal na ligawan na nangyari. Hindi
    kayo mag-dyowa. Pero sa kilos niyo, sa mga
    sinasabi niyo, parang kayo, pero hindi.

    This kind of "relationship" can happen at
    different stages for different reasons. It can
    happen after a break-up. You still love each other,
    and you want to be with each other but you broke
    up for a reason. And for reasons that you alone
    know, ayaw niyo na muna magkabalikan.

    It can also happen before a relationship, iyong
    pareho kayong nakikiramdam. Possible din na
    ayaw niyo munang mag-seryoso kaya kunwa-
    kunwarian lang muna. Testing lang. Puwede ring
    hindi puwedeng maging kayo kasi isa sa inyo --
    usually the guy --may ka-relasyon na. Kaya
    habang hindi pa siya nakikipag-break doon sa
    (sabi niya makikipag-break siya soon pero di
    naman niya ginagawa), wala muna kayong
    relasyon para nga naman hindi siya nangagaliwa
    kasi "hindi naman kayo."

    This pseudo-relationship stage, for a time, can
    be fun. Lalo na kung naghahanap ka lang naman
    ng "kalaro."
    Pero huwag ka lang mag-e-expect na may
    patutunguhan kayo kasi wala talagang
    kasiguraduhan. So bakit ang daming nagse-settle
    sa ganitong set up ganoong hindi naman
    kung may patutunguhan?

    Iba't ibang dahilan. Puwedeng for fun lang.
    Puwedeng "buti na iyan kesa wala" or puwede na
    iyang "pantawid-gutom." Meaning, habang wala
    pa iyong the real thing, doon muna sa kunwa-

    For those who are not in a serious relationship,
    they would think that pseudo-relationship is better
    than no relationship at all. It would be fun, if all you
    are after for is that "kilig" feeling.

    Aminado naman ako na once upon a time, may
    mga pseudo-relationships din ako. No
    commitments involved. For the simplest reason
    that they couldn't commit, because they were
    either committed to someone else, or that they
    weren't ready to commit.

    My rationalization, "okay na iyun, kesa wala."

    Ang habol ko lang naman, iyong kilig feeling.
    Iyong merong nagtatanong kung kumusta araw
    merong ka-cuddle sa beach outing. Iyong kapag
    tumunog ang cellphone, mapapangiti na ako dahil
    alam kong galing sa kanya ang message. Iyong
    merong laging kasama. Habang wala pa ang the
    real thing, puwede na itong pagtiyagaan.

    But then I learned that although it was only a
    pseudo-relationship, the emotions were real. And
    usually, in this kind of set up, ang babae lagi ang

    Una, you can't ask him to commit. Since it's not
    really a relationship, you can't demand
    commitment from your partner. Ano ba kayo? May
    K ka nga ba magpasundo ng hatinggabi? You will
    always be uncertain about your role in his life. You
    can't expect him to be always there with you. And
    if you feel jealous of the other girls, you just have
    keep it to yourself. Ano ka ba niya para

    Pangalawa, what if you fall deeply in love with
    him? You can't be sure if he feels the same way.
    Baka nag-a-assume ka lang na mahal ka rin niya.
    Even if you are dying to tell him you love him, you
    can't. Because you're not sure if he'll like it. Baka
    mapahiya ka lang. This stage will always make
    you wonder where you are in the relationship. Or if
    there is a relationship at all.

    Pangatlo, what if you become attached too
    much? What if you have invested all your
    and this man hasn't? What if you remain faithful to
    him, not entertaining other guys, only to find out
    that he is seeing other girls?

    Isa pang downside ng pseudo-relationships, it
    is fleeting. When a disagreement sets in, or when
    one of you gets cold, then that would be the end of
    it. Unlike in a serious relationship, hindi mo alam
    kung saan ka lulugar sa isang pseudo-
    relationship. Wala kang pinanghahawakan. Kasi
    sa pseudo-relationship, there is no "us." Meron
    lang "you and me," hindi "us."

    Buti sana kung pseudo-pain din lang ang
    mararanasan mo. Kaso, hindi eh. Real pain. And
    usually, kahit tapos na ang pseudo-relationship,
    hindi mo maiwasan umasang one day, may
    karugtong pa rin iyun. And you will be miserable,
    hoping to bring back what you used to have, only
    to find out eventually that the guy is in another
    pseudo-relationship with somebody else.

    Ang hirap, ano? You agreed to this kind of set
    up for fun and then you'd end up hurting yourself in
    the process.

    Pero puwede naman maiwasan ang pain eh.
    Puwede naman na hindi mo muna isipin ang
    future and just enjoy the feeling, without thinking of
    the consequences.

    But if you are certain that you are going to hurt
    yourself in the process, kailangan mo mamili. You
    can be happy and live the moment without
    worrying what would happen next. Or you can stop
    settling with pseudo-relationships and wait for the
    real thing.

    When I was younger and in a pseudo-
    relationship with an unavailable guy, a friend told
    me, "Sige, kung ayaw mong magpapigil, bahala
    ka. Magpakasaya ka. Pero huwag kang iiyak-iyak
    pagkatapos, dahil tatadyakan kita."

    Ang bottom line lang naman, kung
    magpapasaya sa iyo, gawin mo. Ihanda mo lang
    ang sarili mo sa consequence. Dahil ang "parang
    kayo pero hindi" stage ay bihirang nagiging totoo.
    Usually, hanggang doon lang siya... almost, but
    not quite.
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