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Relationship with a single mom.........

dizzydeandizzydean residentpexpunk PExer
hi, i think i'm falling for this single mom who's actually younger than me..she has one 1 year old daughter...does anyone have a similar experience? what are the drawbacks & potential problems in this relationship? She just broke up with the father of her child last year....it's just a new experience for me...i dunno if this is a good idea but i really like her...
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Comments

  • redmanredman Too Big to Fail PExer
  • redmanredman Too Big to Fail PExer
    that was a red flag and if i knew you in person id wave it in front of you. there are a lot of single women out there with no walking mistake, what are you doing with a single mother? that child(ren) is a mistake. single mothers can give you the whole song and dance about how the little one is a "gift from above" but come on, that was one mistake that deep down she wishes she didnt commit. you know whats worse? chances are shes gonna make the same mistake WITH YOU.

    single women also carry huge emotional baggage. but dont take it from me. check out the mommy academy forum. theres a thread there about single mothers and by gawd! its like a contest of whos the biggest whackjob. misery indeed loves company and these women seem to find comfort that theyre not alone in their truly miserable state.

    but back to the walking, talking mistake. that mistake will make you eat at mc donalds so he/she can feast on happy meals instead of you enjoying a romantic dinner at some cozy resto with your chick. you can also forget about going the movies, youre staying in to watch the latest disney flick on dvd. going to boracay and having a grand time, just the two of you? wrong. try the three of you. no more moonlit walk on the beach, your chick has to put that mistake to bed. get the drift so far? you cannot be her main priority. you come second, walking mistake always take priority over you.

    thats the "better" type of a single mom, if there is one. the type that dominates society however, are the ones who dont give a flying hoot about that walking mistake. she parties all night, doesnt come home until the 6 in the morning, sleeps until 2 in the afternoon and hardly has time for the walking mistake. this type of a single mom would make you, or any guy that currently makes her horny her priority. this single moms kid(s) calls their yaya "mommy". if a single mom makes you her top priority, shes irresponsible period.

    responsible or not, single mothers have huge issues. and if you dont have to deal with them by dating women with no walking mistakes, why torture yourself?
  • dizzydeandizzydean residentpexpunk PExer
    First of all, thanks redman, i really really appreciate your advice....well those were harsh words for the single moms out there...but still you made a lot of sense and i guess somehow i feel like i was suddenly jolted back to reality...i guess i'm just way too infatuated with the girl....another thing for me to consider is that the father of course will always be the father of the girl and that in itself is a potential problem regarding my relationship with the kid and of course the mother...anyway i'll post more of my thoughts later...thanks again redman!
  • redmanredman Too Big to Fail PExer
    you cant allow yourself to get suckered in. aint no pussy good enough for that.
  • QuentinQuentin Montejo PExer
    i second in motion. i've profiled both examples of single moms presented here, the sweet one and the rocker chic. i had a brush with the former too o_O scary experience :hiya: i recommend you should stay away, at least for right now while you still have clouds in your head.

    not to speak ill of them, but you deserve to build your life from the ground up, and not continue what others did as an accident. you want a relationship, not a project plan o_O

    the only way i think this is relationship is fair, is when you came from a divorce or a similar experience yourself (so you have nerves of steel or you've got balls made of bricks to handle this situation).

    good luck
  • EmmriEEmmriE hitotsu yakusoku shiyou... PExer
    @redman

    that's very rude of you. its not easy being a single mom. if we try to be a good mom, then your telling us that we dont prioritize you, and if try to prioritize you, you'll tell us we're irresponsible?.. so what are u trying to tell us? be alone and dont get married for the mistake we have made? and where's the justice?!

    yeah i accept your point of view, but dont try to say the baby is a walking mistake.... yeah its a bit dramatic if i told you that its a blessing or its God sent, yes it's true. and i will be a hyprocite if i told you i don't regret even just for once but that was before. now is different.

    try picturing yourself in my shoes, can you now say all that?! tignan lang natin.

    @dizzydean

    and if you think that you really love this girl, syempre lahat ng taong mahal, you will love divah?! and for sure tanggap mo whoever and whatever yung past nya. that is if you really love her. so make sure muna what you feel is true and kaya mo talagang tangapin yung situation nya.

    good luck!
  • wannabe_bridewannabe_bride dont settle! PExer
    MEN... :rolleyes:
  • redmanredman Too Big to Fail PExer
    Originally posted by EmmriE
    @redman

    that's very rude of you. its not easy being a single mom. if we try to be a good mom, then your telling us that we dont prioritize you, and if try to prioritize you, you'll tell us we're irresponsible?.. so what are u trying to tell us? be alone and dont get married for the mistake we have made? and where's the justice?!

    im not trying to tell single mothers anything. im telling guys to stay from single mothers. single mothers need not worry about being alone. there are so many guys out there who were raised by single mothers, they were raised to "be nice and respect women". these are the guys with no balls that get taken advantage of by women because theyre pussies. there are so many clueless guys for single mothers to choose from. single mothers shouldnt worry about finding a guy who will pay for the mistake they committed before they even met him.
    yeah i accept your point of view, but dont try to say the baby is a walking mistake.... yeah its a bit dramatic if i told you that its a blessing or its God sent, yes it's true. and i will be a hyprocite if i told you i don't regret even just for once but that was before. now is different.

    try picturing yourself in my shoes, can you now say all that?! tignan lang natin.

    turn it inside out, outside in, put a spin on it, sugarcoat it all you want. this is exactly what i mean when i say that single mothers have emotional baggage.
  • i_miss_youi_miss_you Member PExer
    she's sweet and thoughtful.
    so easy to fall for.
    calls or texts you just to check how you are doing.
    makes you crazy when she doesn't call or text.
    you always want to be there for her.
    you don't know if she's has feelings for you or you're just a friend to her.
    she may still be married but you don't care because she doesn't love her husband anymore.
    you try your darnest to be just a friend but end up falling for her.
    you always wonder why you didn't meet her before.
    you think of being together but at the same time you know deep inside that a future with her won't work.

    arrrggggghhh saksakin niyo na lang ako!!!
  • i_miss_youi_miss_you Member PExer
    she's sweet and thoughtful.
    so easy to fall for.
    calls or texts you just to check how you are doing.
    makes you crazy when she doesn't call or text.
    you always want to be there for her.
    you don't know if she's has feelings for you or you're just a friend to her.
    she may still be married but you don't care because she doesn't love her husband anymore.
    you try your darnest to be just a friend but end up falling for her.
    you always wonder why you didn't meet her before.
    you think of being together but at the same time you know deep inside that a future with her won't work.

    arrrggggghhh saksakin niyo na lang ako!!!
  • maxine de la penamaxine de la pena semi-charmed life PExer
    Redman

    Wow, man, you've got us single moms all figured out, that's quite a synopsis you got there.

    Well, I agree with you that single moms would not prioritize the guys they date for thier world will always revolve on the kid.

    However, I think it's downright cruel not just rude to call the lovechild a walking mistake.

    And to sum it up all you really wanted to say is that Single moms have no right to love anymore because of their walking mistakes and emotional baggage.

    For somebody who has an open mind you have a pretty narrow one.

    dizzydean

    You clearly have no idea what love is and absolutely no business being with a single mom.

    Guys, I dont really blame you of not wanting to date a single mom, I personally, though I am a single mom, wouldn't want to date a single dad. They're worst than a single mom ten times the intensity.
  • SuKiYaKiSuKiYaKi Well-Wisher PExer
    Originally posted by dizzydean:

    hi, i think i'm falling for this single mom who's actually younger than me..she has one 1 year old daughter...does anyone have a similar experience? what are the drawbacks & potential problems in this relationship? She just broke up with the father of her child last year....it's just a new experience for me...i dunno if this is a good idea but i really like her...

    many here have already "advised" what you should or shouldn't do, yet it is only you who could truly decide. many here will spoon-feed concocted notions as to why one viewpoint is more sensible than the other. again, in the end...it's all up to you.

    from another thread you mentioned the following:
    i have a dilemma & was hoping if anyone of you can gve me some of your advce..you see i'm a guy and i'm infatuated with a single mom younger than me

    (note: the bolded phrase and consider the underlined term carefully)

    one must remember there is a stark difference between love and infatuation.

    click here for further clarification.

    my suggestion is simply list the pros and cons of what could result from a relationship with this single mom. this in turn will outweigh the good from the bad and eventually help determine whether you can or cannot pursue this woman. perhaps, you may also discover other qualities about yourself. these personal discoveries may in turn help in your quest for that one true love.

    here's an inspirational quote taken from a poem, "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost:

    Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
    I took the one less traveled by,
    And that has made all the difference


    may your decision determine the best outcome in your current predicament :beam:
  • redmanredman Too Big to Fail PExer
    Originally posted by maxine de la pena
    Redman
    And to sum it up all you really wanted to say is that Single moms have no right to love anymore because of their walking mistakes and emotional baggage.

    i didnt say single moms dont have the right to love anymore. what im saying is that men should avoid your kind like the plague.
    For somebody who has an open mind you have a pretty narrow one.

    oye! eto lang masasabi ko. bato bato sa langit. ang tamaan wag magagalit. :rotflmao:
  • maxine de la penamaxine de la pena semi-charmed life PExer
    Originally posted by redman
    i didnt say single moms dont have the right to love anymore. what im saying is that men should avoid your kind like the plague.

    Same thing, dearest. And FYI there's probably a lot of successful relationships out there.


    oye! eto lang masasabi ko. bato bato sa langit. ang tamaan wag magagalit. :rotflmao:

    Right back at you.:frank:
  • redmanredman Too Big to Fail PExer
    Originally posted by maxine de la pena
    Same thing, dearest. And FYI there's probably a lot of successful relationships out there.

    theres a sucker born every minute, so yeah, i dont doubt that. im sure there are guys out there with no balls attached to them who cant get themselves a single chick with no walking mistake that theyd SETTLE for some single mother.

    settle is the word.
    Right back at you.:frank:

    at who? what? huh?

    whats the matter? all that emotional baggage blocking your thought process? :lol:
  • dizzydeandizzydean residentpexpunk PExer
    Originally posted by i_miss_you
    she's sweet and thoughtful.
    so easy to fall for.
    calls or texts you just to check how you are doing.
    makes you crazy when she doesn't call or text.
    you always want to be there for her.
    you don't know if she's has feelings for you or you're just a friend to her.
    she may still be married but you don't care because she doesn't love her husband anymore.
    you try your darnest to be just a friend but end up falling for her.
    you always wonder why you didn't meet her before.
    you think of being together but at the same time you know deep inside that a future with her won't work.

    arrrggggghhh saksakin niyo na lang ako!!!


    lol! funny but its true
  • dizzydeandizzydean residentpexpunk PExer
    Originally posted by maxine de la pena
    Redman


    dizzydean

    You clearly have no idea what love is and absolutely no business being with a single mom.


    Hi ms. maxine...1st of all i would like to thank you for posting in my thread. But sad to say i'm quite disappointed with what you said above. There is nothing in this thread that i said or implied that is indicative of me being ignorant in what love really is. I barely have posted anything in this thread yet you judge me. I have been careful with my words previously and has actually stated that i am INFATUATED with the girl. Which probably says a lot about my knowledge about love. Love is not a thing built overnight. Ms Sukiyaki, you misunderstood my post. I think i made myself obviously clear that i am INFATUATED and not in love. I never said i was in love. You don't have to point out the difference about love & infatuation because my 1st post clearly states that i am infatuated. Guys, read carefuly & understand 1st, no offense but this wil help avoid any misunderstandings. But nevertheless I am happy & thankful for your input, ms sukiyaki, maxine and i_miss_you
  • dizzydeandizzydean residentpexpunk PExer
    I have a friend, he used to go out with a single mom but even though "niloko" lang sya ng single mom he told me that everybody deserves a 2nd chance and said there's nothing wrong with going out with a single mom.

    Anyway, this single mom that i've been dating...things aren't going well though...i haven't talked to her for a while..(1 day hehehe)...i feel that she isn't receptive to this relationship...either she has her baby, her studies as her priorities....or she still has feelings for her ex....or the 7 yr age difference (21 & 28) bothers her or........she simply doesn't like me and i'm not her type hehehehe...


    right now i have decided to take it easy and in the meanwhile enjoy being single & try not to look for love too hard....


    thanks people for responding to my thread!
  • i_miss_youi_miss_you Member PExer
    Originally posted by dizzydean
    lol! funny but its true
    yup its funny for the people on the outside looking in... not for me or probably for you for that matter. pero sometimes you just have to laugh at how feelings can screw us. hmmm she's 28 the girl I'm dating is also 28 maybe we are dating the same girl hahaha (doubt it though).... life nga naman.

    its good that you've decided to take life easy. I'm trying to do that too instead of complicating my life (by the way I'm engaged to another girl, way to screw up my life huh?). Life has a way of throwing curve balls, I'm trying to duck.
  • LaTtE`MLaTtE`M perverted daddy bear PEx Rookie ⭐
    Men should avoid single moms if they can't handle it.

    But if they think it's worth all the trouble, then go.

    Women on the other hand, shouldn't date guys who made single moms out of their dates.

    Try figuring that one out.

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