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would u stay in a marriage just "for the sake of the kids?"

here's the situation: the seemingly perfect couple has terrific kids, husband cares for the relationship and has no idea about what the wife is going through, the girl thinks she can go with the charade "for the sake of the kids" but is so out of love already(no third party involved - yet). girl loves the kids so much she can put up being with the husband for want of a complete family, but is open to the possibility of an affair

Comments

  • I would stay in a marriage if there's no romance anymore, as long as there is mutual trust and respect and no infidelities. But I wouldn't have an affair. What's the point in staying married if you're going to sleep around?
  • pattybeepattybee Member PExer
    Her loss of interest in the marriage may soon take its toll and will start to show. When this happens, the children will be living in an environment that lacks love and respect and this may affect them a great deal.

    The girl should be vocal about her feelings towards her husband and they should try to fix the marriage if they can. However, if she feels nothing for him and sees no reason to stay (other than the kids), she should already get out of it before she finds herself having an affair.
  • Just last night, my friend and I were talking about this. We were saying that we've noticed that most Filipino families here, the parents opt to stay together despite the fact that it is known that the husband has some affairs going on.... but still he remains with his wife. I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing... maybe good because the family is kept intact, but bad in the sense that the husband is cheating on his wife and that the wife deserves better treatment. We also noticed that people with a different culture, say Americans, are very vocal about falling out of love with their partners and are more ready to divorce. Both partners usually end their present relationship to move on if they feel trapped in this relationship already. I also don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, bad because the children will suffer and good because it creates that extra pressure for both parties to keep the flame burning, and of course the fact that they are not fooling themselves and not feeling trapped.
  • Velvet14Velvet14 LuvSidney PExer
    gellyace wrote:
    here's the situation: the seemingly perfect couple has terrific kids, husband cares for the relationship and has no idea about what the wife is going through, the girl thinks she can go with the charade "for the sake of the kids" but is so out of love already(no third party involved - yet). girl loves the kids so much she can put up being with the husband for want of a complete family, but is open to the possibility of an affair


    nangyayari ang ganitong situation kung ang babae / wife / mother.. ay had enough.. Iyung bang sakal na sakal na siya sa situation na after those sacrifice she been thru.. take care of her kids and husband but no appreciations like she dont get enough a respect for both side like husband threat her like a partner in Bills to pay, but not partners in raising a children. Then her children threat her the same ways like she is not a good mother because thier dad say so.. Mawawalan siya ng ganang maging perfect mom.. kaya ang option niya ay to find happiness sa ibang tao. at pag dumating iyun na she is ready to dropped the bomb that she is no longer a good mom, that they want to be & she is ready to leave the house. but she can't for the sake of the kids dahil obligations niya ito for the rest of her life.. about the father who cares maybe sleeping already in somebody's bed.. but he choice to stay too dahil to protect his Big Ego.. who really knows ?





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  • clawed_outclawed_out Banned by Admin PExer
    NOPE

    It happened to some of my friends. I asked them would you let your kids grow up with an irresponsible & chronic lying dad/ Mom who's can't control her raging hormones plus she's emotionally unstable or move on and open your kids eyes to one of harsh realities of life?

    It would be healthy for you & your kids. Granted you have common sense.
  • «FickleMinded»«FickleMinded» LessThanPerfect PExer
    --Nope, i think what i'm gonna do is to talk about my feelings over to my husband and see what we both can do about the relationship,and if nothing really works,then i would rather leave him while we are still in good terms,I mean while we still respect each other,by then we can still keep the children happy and at least close pa rin ang relationship,wala na nga lang love.Mahirap kasing maghiwalay kapag meron ng 3rd party involved or there are some unsettled business,ibang kaso na iyon,parang you're just trying to escape or something,but still andon pa rin ang problem.
    Mas ok ng maghiwalay ng maayos,kesa hintayin pang may mangyaring gulo.
  • clawed_outclawed_out Banned by Admin PExer
    ^errr... isn't that why most couples break up in the first place? the 3rd party?
  • «FickleMinded»«FickleMinded» LessThanPerfect PExer
    ^^but the case she mentioned wasn't abt that, it's abt her feelings toward him.
  • pro_temporepro_tempore nakikipaglibang PExer
    i'm a fan of staying together. it's a sacrifice you make for the sake of the kids, who see the two of you as primary role models. but i also think that as with every relationship, cooling off is an option.

    see, real life issues blows to our romantic sides: that's it's nature. there are ways of keeping a relationship healthy and good for everyone concerned. the best thing to do is to take this up with your husband and try to work it out first. kung wala na talaga, it should be okay to leave, but don't make a decision all by yourself.

    dropping a civil and church-sanctioned partnership because you've fallen out of love strikes me as a bit of a cop-out. but leave him if he's abusive, i'm for that by all means.

    if you've fallen in love with someone else... it's a different issue.
  • clawed_outclawed_out Banned by Admin PExer
    Practicality on troubled marriage doesn't marinate well in the Philippine culture.

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