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Women, Head Games, and the Sensitive Man
i dont know if ive shared this before, i might have a few years back. ive received this email several times already and have been asked if i had a hand in this. the answers no.
Ive said it before and Ill say it again: modern women dont want a sensitive man. Traditional women didnt want him either. If you become a classic "new age" sensitive man, youll invite scorn from both sides of the female spectrum. As much as women may say that they are looking for sensitive men, they act in exactly the opposite way: as though they are looking for insensitive men.
Have you ever noticed I mean, really sat down and thought about how women react to emotional situations versus how women expect men to react to those same situations? Women judge the reasonableness of their own reactions based on how they feel; they judge the reasonableness of mens reactions on how those reactions make women feel. An angry woman will rant and rave and do her best to make her man feel bad. She calls this, "Getting [her] point across." That same woman will expect her man to keep a level head and watch what he says when hes angry so as not to upset her. If he says things to make her feel bad, then suddenly he has done something far worse than what she did in the first place to provoke his anger, and it is he who must apologize.
I have never in my life hung around with or dated a woman who didnt play head games on mates or prospective mates, although Ive been out with only a few women who would admit to it. A woman will often tell her man that she doesnt love him, that he doesnt love her, that he never listens to her, or that she has done something outrageously stupid, all just to get him going. What she says doesnt have to be true; it doesnt even have to resemble the truth, and in fact its better if it doesnt. A woman will bluff her way through something like this until he buys into what she is saying, at which point she will giggle and tell him that she was fooling, or add insult to injury by getting angry at him for believing such a thing of her. Women call this "teasing" and they love it. I used to be bewildered by this teasing, but recently the penny dropped. Now I understand it. Now it makes sense.
By "teasing," she is sowing confusion, seeing how much emotional battering he can take before he snaps, and finding the hot buttons that make him feel guilty and apologetic. All three of these things help map the territory for her, and tell her how to manipulate him.
Frequent teasing by women establishes them as emotionally superior, and sets them up to win every argument that they have with their man in the future.
Frequent teasing also affects men: it reduces their emotional security and increases their confusion and emotional pain, just as constantly prodding a caged animal with a stick reduces its sense of security and increases its confusion and pain. Most men cope with this by feeling less. Given a choice between "stuffing" their feelings and feeling anger and resentment toward their chosen mates, men usually choose to "stuff" their feelings. In this sense, women work to make their men less sensitive, not more sensitive.
In order to pull this off, women need insensitive men. A truly sensitive man, who was also sensitive to his own suffering, would become angry with his mate for his mistreatment. Only an insensitive man could tolerate womens emotional terrorism and continue functioning as if nothing were wrong. If a man starts off somewhat sensitive, his mate can and often will discourage his sensitivity with teasing, mercurial emotions, or plain unreasonable behaviour backed up by repeated assertions that shes done nothing wrong. All of these things have the same effect: they help turn him into the very same insensitive clod about which women complain endlessly.
So, if youre a truly sensitive man you can look forward to a lifetime of rejection as women discover that when they cut you, you bleed. Bloodeven emotional bloodmakes women feel bad, so they move on and look for someone with thicker skin. Thin-skinned, sensitive men make lousy emotional punching bags on bad days. They cant be bludgeoned into acquiescence during arguments because they feel the guilt and shame too readily and break down too easily. They cant be told that black is white and white is black because theyre paying attention. Theyre not as easy to manipulate. Similarly, most women think that they want caring, sensitive men, but when a woman finds one, she quickly becomes bored with him. She thinks that she wants a man who is kind, gentle, and agreeable, but in the end such men present no challenges and no opportunity to grow and learn. So she dumps him for a "real man" who wont pay her too much attention as she fumes and stomps about the house. She wants him to finally break down and give in, but she doesnt want it to be too easy. Its more fun that way.
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