Safe Sex is a lie. Abstinence should be taught.

nicaching

Our children are getting the wrong message when they are continuously bombarded by the "safe sex" message.

The people preaching "safe sex" are either oversexed maniacs who have no self control or they don't have children or don't care about who their children do "it" with.

As parents, we now know this safe sex message is a lie.

Abstinence until marriage should be taught to our children.

I'll be the hysterical mother if I find out any of my sons sleep around with no good girls. I'm a happy mother if my sons focus their guy thing on their future wives.

Perish the thought if I ever have a daughter and she gets brainwashed with the safe sex message and she becomes a no good girl.

What are your strategies for raising children in our oversexualized times?
(Idea from Jan-Feb 2004 issue of Parenting)

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I experienced true liberation, contraceptives have no place in my family.

mac_bolan00

a girl who sleeps around, practicing safe and discrete sex, is not a 'no-good girl' in my book. of course, you're talking about THE DANGERS of sexual promiscuity. these are what i want our daughter to be safe from. just the same she'll learn safe sex early, from me if necessary.

Fairy_nd_meadow

Just a question nicaching...

What would you do if you found out your child is a "no-good" girl?

Just curious....

nicaching

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quote

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Perish the thought if I ever have a daughter and she gets brainwashed with the safe sex message and she becomes a no good girl.

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That's if I ever have a daughter.

I got 4 boys. :*)

demonique

no good girl? well..... you better make yourself ready for your four boys might just end up with a pretty, sweet, kind, loyal, loving and an achiever as a student or a career woman but practices safe sex. because to you, all those characters are nothing compared to the last one.. she'll be "a no good girl" just because she had the guts to express herself but exercises "responsibilty" at the same time.. and your sons might end up with and adore a "no good girl"..

illuminatty

ibang-iba na ang panahon ngayon. buti sana nung kapanahunan ng nanay natin (mine grew up in the 50s-60s). turuan man na "abstinence only" iba naman ang nakikita sa media, at sa kapaligiran. kahit sa eskwelahan ganon din, i teach college kids in university and i am surprised (though i know i shouldn't be) to learn about just how "experienced" my female students are. my take on this: if you teach only abstinence and they find themselves in certain situations (especially when you put alcohol in the picture), sila rin ang dehado. anecdotal lang ang evidence ko (sabagay wala pang gumawa ng study tungkol dito, atleast not in our campus) pero mangilan-ngilan na rin ang nabalitaan ko na na-date *****.

i think we should teach young girls more than just that. package-deal yan eh. teach them SELF-CONFIDENCE. na they shouldn't let any one pressure them to do anything they are not ready to do. to know how their bodies work, the internal and external plumbing. not to think that sex is dirty, disgusting or sinful. to make INFORMED CHOICES about everything. the good girl/bad girl dichotomy is a very narrow way of looking at it, but that's just my view.

ako i had to find out the hard way. mom was and still is very conservative. i found out about contraceptives through my HS health class but never took it seriously. when i felt i was more ready, at 18, i walked in to the first OB-GYN clinic i saw. swerte naman at mabait yung GYN, she explained everything to me. so when it finally happened i was more ready to handle the situation. walang "false alarm" na kagaya ng nangyari sa blockmates ko.

nicaching

You don't have to take the "no good girl" terminology personally, demonique.

As parents we only want the best for our children.

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We observe the things that went wrong in our generation and make the necessary improvements so that the next generation does not repeat our mistakes:

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A. In the generation of our grandparents, the conservative generation, families were strong. So strong they could easily manage 6 or 7 children.

B. Today's families, the promiscuous safe sex generation, families are weak. So weak they have 1-3 children and many even wind up separating.

C. In the future Philippines, with the way pinoys immitate everything american, there will be rampant divorce, broken homes will be the norm, abortion left and right, families will disintigrate.

The way I see it, as a future thinking parent who wants the best for my children, I choose the path of generation A for my children.

What kind of future do you want for your kids?

Fairy_nd_meadow

I would choose the generation that is the present, with all its present challenges and problems.

I could not run away from reality. I would prepare my daughter for this world so she can cope better. I hope she would have the kind of life we had, I hope she will learn lessons gracefully. But I also do not want her to look down on other people.

nicaching

I'm not into running away from reality if that is what you are alluding to.

The reality is there are weak families, but there are also children from strong families with great parental education.

It is those families who I will see to it my children will be taught to identify with and intermarry with.

There is such as a thing as upping the probability of success for our children instead of abdicating our parental responsibities to teach.

It is not looking down at other people to teach your children that there are people you can be friends with, but perish the thought of getting married to.

Marriage is probably the most important decision people will ever make. My children deserve the best coaching advice available, parental and not peer.

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I experienced true liberation, contraceptives have no place in my family.

JdelaCruz

A strong over-protective, domineering mother is often linked to a boy's becoming a homosexual, if I remember my Psych 101. I understand your fears but I think you'd do well to take it easy nicaching. Or your kids might run the risk of being swishy swishy. (Not that there's anything wrong with that like Seinfeld used to say hehe).

Boys will be boys. And the last thing a boy wants to hear is his mom saying don't have sex with easy women.

Peace!

nicaching

Ah yes. Domineering mother syndrome. If that is what you are alluding to, that is a false analysis of my writings.

Raising children is more than just writing on this message board.

The points and personal references you mention are western, american, foreign. I may speak english, but I live and raise children here in the Philippines. No foreign values here please.

Us mothers know how things are done. That's what loving and firm leadership of husbands are for. I'm not raising children alone.

Pinoy kami, living in the Philippines.

mac_bolan00

it's easier to conclude you want to raise kids the old fashioned way. nothing else.

Fairy_nd_meadow

Originally posted by nicaching
I'm not into running away from reality if that is what you are alluding to.

The reality is there are weak families, but there are also children from strong families with great parental education.

It is those families who I will see to it my children will be taught to identify with and intermarry with.

There is such as a thing as upping the probability of success for our children instead of abdicating our parental responsibities to teach.

It is not looking down at other people to teach your children that there are people you can be friends with, but perish the thought of getting married to.

Marriage is probably the most important decision people will ever make. My children deserve the best coaching advice available, parental and not peer.

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I experienced true liberation, contraceptives have no place in my family.

I am not implying anything. I am just saying that I want to raise my daughter in the present, and I want to deal with present-day problems and challenges.

It is true there are weak families. But there are successful, moral children coming from weak families. They are not doomed to be failures just because their own families have problems.

Frankly, I do not want my child to marry someone coming from a family who thinks they are so self-righteous that marrying their kind is a good "catch".

We are a very quiet family and my daughter is very well-behaved. But I do not shudder at the thought of my daughter falling in love with someone from a broken family someday, so long as the boy made something out of his experiences and became a better person out of it. Frankly, I would put my daughter's happiness beyond and above my own standards.

Fairy_nd_meadow

Originally posted by nicaching


Raising children is more than just writing on this message board.

True. I just hope that our children are growing up to be responsible, well-behaved people.

The points and personal references you mention are western, american, foreign. I may speak english, but I live and raise children here in the Philippines. No foreign values here please.

Ah, but I'd rather have a combination of both foreign values and Phil. values rather than have just one. We are Filipinos too, but we chose to embrace the good in the Filipino and Canadian culture. Frankly, there are some Filipino values I'd rather not adopt. It doesn't mean that if you live in the Philippines you get the best breeding. In Canada the government strengthens the family so much that most of the kids' activities are geared towards developing their talents and keeping the family together. In the Philippines, kids are preoccupied with texting and being "konyo" and looking at themselves as "better" than others, be it in financial or material possessions, rather than looking at others as someone with equal rights and needs. By all accounts, this is better to me than instilling in my child's mind that she is better than others because she comes from a "conservative" family.

Us mothers know how things are done. That's what loving and firm leadership of husbands are for. I'm not raising children alone.

Pinoy kami, living in the Philippines. [/B]

And you're not the only one raising kids with a husband. But I certainly don't believe that single parents are doomed to have "no-good" kids just because of their own misfortune. I am married in the Catholic Church but I certainly won't make this the reason for the quality of upbringing my daughter had. My daughter grew up to be who she is now (and I'm proud of her) because of the love we gave to her, not because we tell her that we are a "moral" family.