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Does being well opinionated (like yourself) has its drawbacks?

GuileGuile Symbian personified PExer
Well, the title of the thread seems to give compliment to the members of the Realm of Thought forum, but it’s not really my intention. I don’t even post here that often so I can’t compliment myself with this thread. But honesty aside, I think ROT members are the most-opinionated individuals on things that others take for granted (no offense intended to pexers of other forums).

So my basic point is, had you been a less-opinionated individual that you are right now, what would your relationship with the people around you be like? Would it have been better r worse?

Personally, I think that had I not discovered online message boards (like PEX), I would have been less-opinionated than what I am right now. Online forums made me hungry for insights as well as discussions with other people (although it didn’t necessarily made me more intelligent. Still, my need for reason and logic definitely increased). This case would probably apply to the most of you here. My question is, did it make you a better person, character-wise?

I just want to share a story about me, and this involves a quest for insights (on my part). I’d just want to know if what I’m doing is right or wrong.

I had a verbal tussle with one pexer in another forum (I met this pexer in person once). Basically, she’s been giving me verbal assaults for something like a week after she met me (thru EB together with some pexers, almost all of whom are females, which makes me the only guy in that EB. We post in a certain thread, so that’s how we’re able to organize the EB). I’ve tried to settle this on a civil manner by sending her a PM. She never replied, so I take it that she wants to ignore me. So I accepted the implication of that (that is, I accepted the fact that she wouldn’t want to settle this and she just decided that she’d ignore me).

I posted a thread a few days after I sent her a PM, and surprisingly, she replied to it, giving me another verbal assault. That’s where I first made offensive retaliatory remarks on her. She immediately got the message (as well as the other female pexers whom I met on the EB).

Do you know what’s the saddest part of this misunderstanding? I don’t even know why she hates me because she wouldn’t tell (To hell with that. She’ll make offensive assaults with no legit reason to say to me). I only assume that it’s the EB, where I supposedly was kinda silent on that event (eh ikaw ba naman ang humarap sa 20 babae, kung di ka ba naman mahiya).

I decided to confront her head-on (that is, I’m now following her posts). I reply to her posts asking the most basic question, which is WHY? Why does she hate me? And you know what, this question has never been answered by her or any of her pexer friends that I met on the EB.

So basically, I’m losing this battle. I wasn’t able to know why she hates me, she has gained the sympathy of her pexer friends (making this verbal tussle some sort of a sexist war, where I’m like against the world here), without them knowing the whole truth of the matter.

Some of her less biased and more insightful friends told me that the EB may have triggered it. I have to admit, I was not as talkative as everybody else (had you been in my situation, you’d probably understand that. I could never be as talkative as anyone of those girls. The inevitability of being shy (on my part) on that occasion should have been obvious). Baka nagatungan lang sya ng ibang tao na ibang impression sa akin so ayaw nyang magsalita kasi ayaw nyang mangdamay.

So basically, it’s like this…all I want is an answer to the WHY question. Bakit sya galit. Being a person in pursuit of insights, I’ve been longing (for the longest time) to get an answer from her to this query, at the expense of losing even more potential friends (that is, her female buddies which I met on the EB) in the process. The question is, is this worth it? Is my quest for insights worth the hatred of those who gained her sympathy?

A friend said to me, “meron ka namang ibang kaibigan diba? Ilan lang naman silang nawala, but you have a lot more.” While this could be true, it’s more on the pain of not knowing why a person hates me than the pain of losing a friend. Am I exerting too much effort on getting the truth? Or should I take some people’s advice to give up? I’ve said to myself, if I’m being judged on the basis of self impression alone, then that shows the depth of the people that I’m trying to be friends with.

That made me comfortable. But it still gives me doubts. I bet if one of them reads this thread, she’d say, “Guile, mas madaldal ka pa sa babae eh. Tapos na yang issue na yan, inuungkat mo pa.”. Though we’d decided to have a truce on this, it was never settled.
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Comments

  • rickymrickym Member PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    i feel that the question is 'why should it matter, why should you know the reason as to why she is mad at you'.

    sometimes girls also give me this predicament. you ask yourself these questions.
    1. have you tried your very best to find out why she is mad at you.
    2. do you really not know why or are you under denial.
    3. and for a selfish reason, yayaman ka ba kung malaman mo?

    if you feel that all these questions have been satisfactorily answered, then go on with your life. the fact that you are bothered, means that she has been able to make your life 'miserable'. a person before also avoided me on the phone after months of being good friends on the phone, she said 'there is a reason for everything'. i wanted to say to her, 'yes there is a reason, but yours may be a very trivial and stupid reason.'

    go on with your life and don't waste your time. besides 'anger' and some other emotions like 'worry' will lessen your happiness and youth.

    wait a minute? i don't get it. what does being 'opinionated' have to do with your experience.

    anyway as for 'being opinionated' i feel that people should have their opinions but not be opinionated and/or narrowminded. i'm really not sure what you mean by opinionated. they should know that opinions are just opinions and not necessarily truth. should their opinions in the future prove false, and their pride still deludes them and makes them believe in their opinions, then let them be. magmumukha silang *****.

    whether pex people are the most opinionated. i really can't say, maybe they are just voicing out their beliefs and are willing to change them if they find a good argument, and again maybe not.
  • GuileGuile Symbian personified PExer
    Well, being opinionated has something to do with it cuz if she'll give me a lame excuse as to why she hates me I'll probably argue with her (in a philosophical manner), until we settle this problem.

    To make it short, takaw diskusyon kasi ako in this scenario, and I just want to know if what I'm planning to do is actually worth it.
  • IscharamoochieIscharamoochie Moderator PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    frankly, no it isnt. probably the best thing to do would be to treat her to dinner.
  • ahmedahmed Resident Terrorist PExer
    Bakit ba pinapatulan mo pa yang mga ganyang tao? Hindi kaya type mo siya?
  • vinta18vinta18 What the frell?!? PExer
    Yihee! :)
  • jasonperryjasonperry Banned by Admin PExer
    ikaw lang ang makakasagot sa tanong mo. ganyan din ang nangyari sa akin sa pex kaya alam ko ang sitwasyon mo. there's nothing wrong with being opinionated for as long as you respect the opinions of others at secure ka sa mga opinyon mo dahil you are who you are because of what you believe in. ang payo ko sa 'yo, forget about her. maraming taong ganyan sa mundo. who knows, maybe she just wants to take away from you kung ano yung isang bagay na kinakainggitan nya sa iyo which is your being opinionated. tulad na lang ngayon na may doubt ka na sa sarili mo. tungkol sa mga kaibigan mo, kung nagawa ka nilang talikuran at hindi sila handang pakinggan ang nararamdaman mo, let go of them. it is better to stay away from them than to try to compromise everything just because they don't understand how you feel. lastly, ugaling pilipino yung ganyan na hindi magawa ng isang lalaki na makipagdiskusyon ng maayos sa babae dahil ang tingin agad eh pinapatulan nung lalake yung babae therefore hindi daw tunay na lalake yung ganon; kung ganyan ang iisipin mo sa sarili mo, paurong din ang mangyayari sa buhay mo. kung may mga bagay ka pa na gustong sabihin sa kanya kahit pa may mga dating kaibigan ka na against na sa iyo, go ahead and tell her those things. isipin mo na lang na sila ang nawalan at hindi ikaw dahil secure ka sa sarili mo.
  • alanisalanis Banned by Admin PExer
    Guile, oo nga naman, why are you so affected by this girl. Because “I just want to know if what I'm planning to do is actually worth it.” Naks. I can smell romance.

    Let her have her own opinion and she should let you live by your beliefs. If you do not meet in that area, bumalabas, pare. :)

    What to you is opinionated? Not being afraid of expressing your thoughts and being able to express it strongly? You are just expressing yourself and it is not even a sexist thing. We are here at PEX because we want to speak about our beliefs, our passion. And it is always nice to know what others have to say about it. It is to open our minds to different perspectives.
  • GuileGuile Symbian personified PExer
    Bakit ba pinapatulan mo pa yang mga ganyang tao? Hindi kaya type mo siya?
    Guile, oo nga naman, why are you so affected by this girl. Because “I just want to know if what I'm planning to do is actually worth it.” Naks. I can smell romance.

    Pag nabasa nya to, siguradong tatawa yon. :lol:

    But to be serious, nope. Wala akong gusto sa kanya.

    But she meant something to me. Actually, all of them that I'm having a misunderstanding with right now mean something, even though they don't exactly fall under the category of friends yet because I've just become acquainted to them recently.

    So if there's a slim chance that we would ever reconcile (no matter how slim), I'll probably take that chance, kahit na may kaplastikan na involved, because she (as well as the others) matters.

    Now, pursuing this discussion with her (forcing her to answer my query) could be destructive because it doesn't achieve my desired effect and more people would hate me in the process.

    Maybe I am just looking for a better strategy to settle this misunderstanding. Or maybe I should just face the bloody obvious that we would never reconcile and ignore the person forever. That's the confusing aspect--which is taking the right course of action.

    Emotion dictates me to make a reconciliation but logic says otherwise.

    Why does this person matter? Because what she would say about me would help me assess my character and...gusto kong makipagbati. Pero gusto ko munang malaman kung bakit sya nagalit in the first place.
  • bloodaspbloodasp Member PExer
    ipag post mo nga sya sa mga threads dito :)
  • TessariaTessaria Fan Forum's Finest PExer
    Who is this paragon? I smell romance.. :glee:

    Kidding.

    Dunno. Unless it's a philosophical debate, something religious, something substantial that justifies her silence, just ignore her.

    Ano bang thread yan at nag iisang guy ka in a roomful of girls? What do you discuss? Maybe the subject matter you're discussing isn't worth all the worry.
  • Mickey2000Mickey2000 TheFoodBlogger PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    mickey.gifthey say,the more you hate,the more you love :naughty:
  • gekokujogekokujo Original Fire PExer
    It often does: the loneliness of your opinions.

    Maybe that's why some people's thoughts turn to the romantic...:shy:
  • bloodaspbloodasp Member PExer
    gilmore girls thread ba yan?

    :arcade: :director: :brush:
  • the_BuGsthe_BuGs d ko hilig PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    Yep.. di lang naman babae eh.. me mga lalaki rin.. minsan kasi me mga taong nde makatangap ng opinyon ng iba.... minsan masyadong dinadamdam.. ako me mga kaibigan ding lumayo sa akin dahil sa opinyon ko(lalo na pag political issues and religion) opinionated ako minsan pero nde rito Pex.... mas gusto ko kasi kausap yung mga tao eh para at least nde boring(or sometimes with ka miguel ask jonga :D ) .... dito kasi sa pex ang minsan hahaba ng mga replies at ayaw pang diretsuhin :D at minsan paulit ulit pa yung mga sinasabi.. pero magagaling ang tao dito sa Pex lalo na sa ROT.
  • SnakePlisskenSnakePlissken Snake is back! PExer
    Mukhang dapat sa LCM ang thread na to, ah. :D j/k

    Mag-sorry ka na lang maski hindi mo alam dahilan tapos, bigyan mo ng free lunch/dinner. :lol:
  • IscharamoochieIscharamoochie Moderator PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    reason doesn't work with an aggravated female; lest you forget the cliche "hell hath no fury than a woman scorned," it would be best if you two just go out on a date to patch things up
  • gastrixiagastrixia Surf's Up! PExer
    Of course .. everything has its drawbacks.

    In your case, maybe you said something really offensive to this girl (i think i know who you are talking about). Hey if she's as mad as i think she is, she won't talk to you directly ... she'll just give lil hints in her posts as to what's really bugging her ... being a woman myself i sometimes do that, for example:

    hypothetically, me and my bf are xmas shopping ...

    Me: That ring is nice ... (What i mean: "I want that ring for christmas, you better get the hint")
    Bf: hmm, can we go now? i'm hungry (What he means: "hmm, can we go now? i'm hungry")

    Come Christmas eve ...
    Me: (Opening my present from the bf) A nintendo game? I wanted that ring!
    Bf: Why didn't you say so?!


    See the difference? Point being, women beat around the bush while men plow right into it. Hey, my post is another example.
  • GuileGuile Symbian personified PExer
    In your case, maybe you said something really offensive to this girl (i think i know who you are talking about).

    I have to this to stop her from pestering me. Last ditch effort kumbaga. Well, she actually did stop pestering me, but the problem was never settled. This still puts me on the losing end if you'll ask me.
  • im_ur_angelim_ur_angel Member PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Originally posted by Ischaramoochie
    reason doesn't work with an aggravated female; lest you forget the cliche "hell hath no fury than a woman scorned," it would be best if you two just go out on a date to patch things up

    nakakabaliw post mo Mooch!
    If you knew better!

    Hahahaha :rotfl: :rotflmao:

    ciao!

    :angel:
    :spinhalo:
    :spinstar::spinstar::spinstar:
  • im_ur_angelim_ur_angel Member PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Originally posted by Guile
    I have to this to stop her from pestering me. Last ditch effort kumbaga. Well, she actually did stop pestering me, but the problem was never settled. This still puts me on the losing end if you'll ask me.

    hi! Siguro pakalmahin mo muna iyong issue! Kung meron man.

    Bakit ka naman on the losing end? Was it because you had burst out all your angst yet that person isn't listening to you? Or isn't minding you at all?

    Believe me, maybe the case, for him/her (whoever that person is) is CLOSED. Either he/she doens't want to talk about it, or he/she just don't want to talk to you. Both ways, wala ng dapat pag-usapan pa. Getch?

    Happy Holidays!

    Ciao!

    :angel:
    :spinhalo:
    :spinstar::spinstar::spinstar:

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