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how to encourage children?

CoolCucumberCoolCucumber HEALTH.FREAK.WANNABE. PExer
i have a younger sister who i think is really good in playing chess. as a matter of fact she bested other players in her level when she was in 3rd grade. she's now in 5th grade and i want her to join chess competitions during the intrams in the hope of boosting her self-confidence (because i think she has problems with this and she's now 12, in a crucial stage in building high self-esteem). i think she's good in sports because when she was younger she won a gold medal in swimming. i reward her for every achievements. for getting a gold medal in swimming, i got her a bike, things like that. i even promised her that i would give her 500 bucks just for joining chess games, with or without the gold medal. but still i don't think my "bribes" don't have any effect at all. what i'm trying to tell her indirectly is that she can do more than she thinks she can. what do i do? :help:

Comments

  • Ice BurnIce Burn Conflicting Karma
    You should let your sister do her own thing. Let her forge her own path to her own greatness. Encourage her if you must but let her live out her life.

    Bribes lessen the heart and dedication one puts in an activity. She will learn not to put her heart to it but rather she will participate out of the promise of a reward.

    If I may be so bold and I hope you do not take offense, i get the feeling that you are "encouraging" her for something you weren't able to accomplish.
  • p1n0y_par1np1n0y_par1n Simple lang PExer
    Hello CoolCucumber.

    Have you asked your sister what she wants? Seems like you have all these plans for her and you didn't mention anything that she likes to do.

    Just wondering.
  • Mickey2000Mickey2000 TheFoodBlogger PExer
    xmasmickey.jpgJust let your sister having fun, in a first place she get all those achievement before even w/o your reward,bec as soon as the fun is not there anymore,even if she's the best in that field,she might not like it anymore bec of too much pressure.
  • CoolCucumberCoolCucumber HEALTH.FREAK.WANNABE. PExer
    she likes badminton but what she knows is the larong kalye, no rules. i bribe her because i feel that if i don't do anything, she won't go anywhere with her attitude. you see, she's painfully shy. not only that, she's afraid of losing though i feel that she won't because she's really good at anything she does. anything, even in academics.
  • NOKiENOKiE HYPERNUT PExer
    There's more to it than chess or badminton or whatever talent you might think she's got. She also is ending her childhood life and entering that stage most parents "look forward to :D." Bribery is insulting. You're no promoter and you shouldn't be one. In fact, you should never be anything else than her ultra-cool big sister and a damn good friend. Kailangan niya siguro ng kabarkada, and who better to be the first than Miss CoolCucumber?

    If you're still wondering what she can accomplish, let her figure that for herself.
  • CoolCucumberCoolCucumber HEALTH.FREAK.WANNABE. PExer
    naks nagkakabolahan na dito a! calling moderators! hehehe!

    so how do i encourage nga? kasi she's interested (and good) in lots of other things kaso parang there's this fear of i dunno, losing? so she's good at drawing/painting then i tell her o, try mo sumali sa contest (within their school) tapos sasabihin niya: e... blah blah blah. same goes with sports. so how do i encourage? how do i bring out the best in her? how do i make her feel confident about her self? hirap 'no?
  • SiOMsSiOMs Anywhere PExer
    she doesnt have to join competitions naman to help boost her confidence... para saken lang po, just let her do her own thing. if she enjoys drawing and painting, sabihin mo: "ang ganda naman ng painting mo, akin nalang...papa-frame ko tapos ih-hang ko sa bedroom ko :) " o diba that in itself ay encouragement na and telling her youre proud of her just because she is who she is(without winning sa kahit anong competition/contest or whatever) will make her confident :D
  • ice8103ice8103 ice8103 ✭✭
    give her a lots of hug.....try not to force her too much nor bribe her. I didn't say that bribing her is bad but she have to learn to build her self-esteem and confidence. Try to support her whenever she do if she lose give her comfort and hugs.
  • advancementadvancement Banned by Admin PExer
    I have a younger brother and the best way to lead them is to lead by example. I joined the soccer team and my brother joined it too... became a better scorer than me! I joined the Citizen Army Training and became an officer... my brother joined too... and achieved a higher rank than me!

    Napanood mo ba yung THE JOY LUCK CLUB? Sabi nung bata (yung bata pa si Amy Tan) If you want to compete in chess contests, why don't you learn to play chess yourself!

    Heh heh... O kaya puwede mo din sabihin sa sister mo: "This girl do not concerning us, we do not concerning this girl" :lol: Just kidding!

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