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Brit cousins (or any foreign ones in that matter)...how to deal with them

emiruemiru barangay tanod PExer
hmmm...not even sure if any would reply to this but even so, i was just thinking...cousins (especially those first degree ones) should be close right? but with mine, it's like we're from different planets...i've always thought that however long we haven't seen and talked to each other, at least whenever there are reunions, we'd always try to update each other...in my case, it's like talking to a wall. They even don't make even the least bit of effort to ask how i am, the weather, or whatever...so, just wondering...by the way, they are British brats fyi...does the nationality affect their indifference?...hmmm....

Comments

  • xyzseamanxyzseaman Loved by Adm!n ~ PExer
    Hmmm, its really hard to break the ice specially if your cousins are of a diff race. You just have to be patient with them, they will open up, it takes time though. I guess a good way to connect them is to know what they like (hobbies, fav. food etc)

    all it takes is a little nudge ;)

    ...or a BIG shove :D
  • mravel22mravel22 let's go mets! PExer
    i haven't english bloke cuzs, but i do have yankee cuzs. how do i deal with 'em? hmmm, i never really had a problem dealing with 'em. maybe because american culture is far closer to our culture than the brits. oh well, just let my hair down when i deal with 'em. no pretense. no mask. i just give 'em a huge whupp in the butt..... after all, we're relatives, eh?
  • Clover_GurrllClover_Gurrll Mark's Girl PExer
    Brits are known to be dour and have a dry sense of humor. Or maybe your cousins are just plain shy.
  • keenerkeener Moneymaker PExer
    speaking of cousins...

    I have this 2nd cousin from sacramento.. visited the philippines for a month... we went to mcdo.. at her 1st bite, she blurted out...

    "your burger sucks..."

    oh well...:D
  • Ice BurnIce Burn Conflicting Karma ✭✭
    Well...Just take them around the Philippines

    I have 5 half-german cousins and 1 half-british-american cousin. Two of my mom's sisters married germans and my dad's sister married a britam.

    I'm pretty close to 2 of my half-german cousins, since they are close to my age and pretty much grew up in the Philippines so they're as much pinoy as they are german.

    As for the other 4 cousins, well since they are much younger than me, I'm just look upon as an older sister and I do drive them around and tour them when they visit the Philippines. My 3 half-german cousins are ok. :) They are sweet kids. My half-britam cousin is a slobby brat.

    I don't really think it's the race, I believe your cousins are just uncomfortable interacting in a foreign land. You just have to put more of an effort to get to know them. But then again it may also be how their parents brought them up. If they were brought up to be british brats then, it's not the race but their upbringing.

    My half-britam cousin is a slobby brat because of his upbringing. And since I lived with my aunt and her Britam husband for a short period, well I can't blame him for being a slobby brat.
  • balutbalut . PExer
    Originally posted by emiru
    hmmm...not even sure if any would reply to this but even so, i was just thinking...cousins (especially those first degree ones) should be close right? but with mine, it's like we're from different planets...i've always thought that however long we haven't seen and talked to each other, at least whenever there are reunions, we'd always try to update each other...in my case, it's like talking to a wall. They even don't make even the least bit of effort to ask how i am, the weather, or whatever...so, just wondering...by the way, they are British brats fyi...does the nationality affect their indifference?...hmmm....

    when you say "brit cousins" are they white or flip?
  • cardona_is_minecardona_is_mine yeo_is_mine PExer
    almost all my cousins are from abroad.. pag umpisa pa lang, syempre smile smile lang kami and we dotn really talk.. but then were the same age lang so kahit san pa sya galing, can relate pa din sya.?

    ask your cousin some stuff, like what type of music he likes, tv shows.. find something you have in common..
  • Fairy_nd_meadowFairy_nd_meadow Member PExer
    I think that their seeming apathy or non-caring attitude towards you or others is not because they're Brits but it's because they're either "brats" or snobs as you said, or there may be incidents in the past that made them react that way.

    I've met a lot of Canadian kids and on the contrary, they are so open and would initiate a conversation even if you've just met them in the elevator or wherever. They're talkative and open to their feelings, generally.

    Maybe your Brit cousins are just shy or they're misinformed.
  • littlehorn969littlehorn969 Member PExer
    i have two american-raised cousins.....we get along fine (ako pinakamatanda and age gap namin is 8 years sa bunso at 5 years sa panganay) but sometimes their carefree attitude pisses me off.....minsan in-considerate pero pinagpapasensiyahan ko na lang......minsan you just have to remind them what is the right thing to do and tell them how we filipinos are......minsan pag naiinis na ako sa isa di ko pinapansin para matauhan siya sa ginawa niya......ang kulit e.......i also try to set an example like helping around the house, kasi tamad sila e, hindi marunong mag-imis ng kalat nila......dun ako naiinis, kasi maimis akong tao di ko maintindihan kung bakit sila slobs......hindi ko naman nakikita na pinapagalitan nung parents nila......haaay......they are a bit spoiled by their parents.......that's why i'm thinking, when i have kids, i would not raise them here in the US, masgugustuhin ko pa sila tumira sa pinas to learn our great filipino values.
  • KawalngLangitKawalngLangit Member PExer
    I have three dutch cousins. wait, lima na pala sila ngayon.

    The first time that they went here for a visit, siguro mga 3 months din yon. Ok kami nung mga 1st 2 months. actually, masama pa ako kasi pinagnasahan ko yung younger cousin ko. **** ang gwapo kase. hehehehe.. Actually, hanggang ngayon eh grarr pa rin siya... Ay pupunta pala sila dito sa december so kahit eye candy lang ok na. hehehehe.. syet ang sama ko. As I was saying, nung 1st two months nila ok naman kami. But i dont know why inapi-api ko sila. hahahahahahaha.. ang sama ko.. sila pa naman guests namin. hehehehehe.. siguro na wirduhan lang ako sa kanila. ah hinde, nadugyutan kasi ako sa kanila.. dungis kasi nila madalas. Sa Netherlands naman kasi, hindi naman talaga sila pala linis ng katawan so alam mo yon, ang baho nila. hehehehehe... so inapi ko sila.

    pero i expect that itd be different this coming december. the oldest of them is married na kahit 21 pa lang siya. Shes so ganda grarr pero parang tibo kumilos. But shes not tibo as shes married nga. But im also looking forward to meet her husband. Nakita ko sa pic, gwaping din. mwahahaahahaha.. sama ko syet.

    Off topic,

    Pero ang ganda ng lahi ko nakakainis. When i go to reunions, i always text my friend tapos sasabihin ko.. syet ang gwapo ng mga pinsan ko.. Isa lang ata may alam sa kanilang bading ako.. so... hindi ko alam kung paano ko sasabihin sa kanila ng hindi ako itatawkil o ikakahiya o pandidirihan o lalayuan. As in im gwapo na already, and yet mas gwapo pa rin sila sa akin. What the **** is that diba? Theyre taller than me and have bigger bodies, Farge! And almost among everybody, well maliban sa isa, ako lang mukhang chinese. Labo, mukha silang mestizos. Gandang buhay nga naman to oo. Haaay..
  • gastrixiagastrixia Surf's Up! PExer
    my friend's brit cuz had no big qualms at all. He went wherever we went, he ate whatever there was and he never complained about new york city. Well he did complain about the music at clubs because he wanted hard techno and according to him they only played "techno pop", i had no idea what he was talking about though (techno ignoramus here).
  • NotYourGurLNotYourGurL ::obliterate:: PExer
    emiru: we have the same situation... whenever they go home sa Pinas, wala lang... kakainis, ang aarte nila... (well understandable naman siguro kasi diba...lifestyle is different) anyway, so ayun, medyo i try to talk to them, pero i don't find anything common with them. buti yung bunso na pinsan ko, may common stuff kami...

    so ngayon, andito na kami sa canada, im expecting na okay, since nandito na ako..warm welcome naman diba... aba alam mo yun..kainis..sarap sampalin... pagdating ko dito.. di man lang ako binati..as in kagagaling ko lang ng airport ha... with family. siguro she hates me... duh..ano ginawa ko sa kanya? dahil magkaiba ba kami? im trying to be nice to her...pero wala ... di talaga kami close...

    well now, i've learned my lesson..naging civil na lang ako... whenever she says hi..i say hi..pero hanggang doon lang talaga...ang sad naman kasi first cousin ko sila... and sa mother's side... 5 lang kami overall... 2 sila and 3 kami magkakapatid...

    miss ko na ang mga pinsan ko tuloy sa pinas...
  • villagevoicevillagevoice boca a boca PExer
    I have 2 japs as cousins, and 1 swede... you shouldn't put too much pressure on yourself to bridge a gap... though brits are notoriously b-o-r-i-n-g compared to the spicy asians... well my swedish cousin, she's kinda nice... talkative... i noticed that most of them are...

    as for the brit-cous, try lowering your humor-people-personality-expectation barometer eh? just a thought :)
  • SintaSinta Vespertine Iniquity PExer
    Originally posted by Clover_Gurrll
    Brits are known to be dour and have a dry sense of humor. Or maybe your cousins are just plain shy.

    Now that just stereotyping. My boyfriend is brit and I've met a lot of his friends and they don't seem like that.

    Now onto this subject. I guess I'm one of those foreign cousins. I'm half Swiss, Half filipina, but I'm open and very close to my own philippine relatives. I love each one of them and my big family back home in the Philippines. I'm proud to say I'm as much as a filipina as a swiss miss... maybe even more pinay, seeing that I spent 12 years in PH :) Proud of both my ethnicities.

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