What kind of things do you do to move on from the loss of an extremely close friendship that ended badly? I think that I am doing okay, but I am not where I would like to be.
I had a falling out with a close female friend of mine about 2 months ago after a minor argument snowballed into a series of misunderstandings that led her to cut ties with me.
At the beginning, I tried to save the situation by apologizing and explaining my side, but she stood her ground and insisted it would be best if we donít speak for awhile.
I respected her decision and didnít initiate any contact until a week ago when I sent her a text to inform her about a send-off party I was organizing for one of our colleagues at work. I know odds of her coming were very slim since she was never close to this guy and sheís not particularly fond of parties, but some of her friends from my office were coming so I thought it would be appropriate to invite her. She replied with ďok, thanks.Ē I took it as a sign that sheís not coming and left it at that.
But on the day of the party, I kept thinking how it would be like if she actually showed up. i thought, if she did, I would try to talk to her and patch things up. Though I enjoyed myself at the party, I couldnít help but be disappointed that she didnít show up even though I knew it was next to impossible for her to come. The whole time I kept looking around for any sign of herÖ it was futile and hopeless but I couldnít help myself. I kept hoping until every single person had gone home. It sounds cheesy, I know, but I couldnít get over it. probably because at that moment, I knew that this was it. it really was over between us and it sucks.
It all sounds very melodramatic and to be honest, I donít quite understand why I am so affected by this now when I seemed to be doing fine weeks ago. Even my friends are puzzled with me. Iíve been through harsh and painful break-ups with past girlfriends, and Iíve had friends from long ago whom Iíve drifted apart.
But none of that comes close to the hurt and confusion over the loss of my friendship with her.
I have lots of really great friends, I have a busy, full life that I love-I am just having trouble leaving this hurt behind and I donít know why. Most of the time it is okay, but sometimes I feel crushed by the loss. Is this normal? I have been lucky in my life and have not really experienced other big losses other than the usual break-ups.
Any input would be appreciated; thank you.