Grey Areas in Cheating...should i forgive my boyfriend?

[darmonx]

..
I feel he loves me.
...

It's not about how he feels .. its about how you feel. Sounds like you are with him out of convenience.

... Last week, I was so sure breaking up was the right thing to do.
...

You have your own principles... the question you need to ask yourself... is if this person is worth breaking your own rules and principles.

I have a feeling you dont think this guy is worth it... but then again... you also feel you are getting old and this is your last chance on a long term relationship.

Forgiving is one thing... but breaking your own rules is another thing. There is always a trade off. You cant have both and that is why we make choices. Good luck to you.

[adiposethoughts]

Eh bakit ka ba natatakot maging mag-isa?

There should be no fear of getting old alone. As long as you are not lonely.

Every junior within your reach can be your kid. At least you don't have too much responsibilities.

Mahirap yung later magsisisi ka at mafrufrustrate ka kasi ang naging ending ninyong dalawa hindi akma sa iniukit na ideya ng isip mo.

[adiposethoughts]

Ilusyon lang ng maraming tao na pag may pamilya ka, doon ka lang sasaya. O kaya dapat magkaanak ka, para may mag-alaga sayo pagtanda mo.

Alalahanin mo na hindi lahat ng anak, tumutulong sa magulang pagkatapos mag-aral. Madalas sa panahon ngayon pagkatapos mag-aral ng anak nagsisi-asawa na rin lang din.

[JobyBryant24]

My boyfriend and I, despite our many differences, were happy for 3 years. We could see each other spending the rest of our lives together. I feel he loves me. Then I found, while out with his rich friends, that he got drunk and got a blowjob from a really beautiful and sexy call girl. I asked him about it, and he admitted it to me. He said he was sorry, won't do it again, sent flowers and texted sweet stuff. I have texted him it's over, and has not responded to him for a week. But he is still texting me and is acting like he's waiting for me to change my mind and forgive him. Last week, I was so sure breaking up was the right thing to do.
But now, should i forgive him... because first of all, he was drunk anyway? Because he didn't have feelings for the call girl anyway? Because I don't think I'll find anyone like him...mature, stable, my family loves him? More importantly, because we are in our late 30's, and I'll probably be single forever after this relationship?
But I fear this can happen again in the future, esp with his friends (some are married but still go to these night escapades...hay). I fear I might get STD (paranoid!). I fear the future of a happy family is not with him anyway. And again, we are so different in personalities.
Right now, I'm just numb...I don't know if I hate him or I love him. I'm not crying. When I see his messages, I just delete after reading it, and go on with my work.
Anyway, should I forgive him?

Just a BJ from a callgirl hiniwalayan mo na agad tapos lasing pa sha?

Matakot ka kung hindi sha lasing tapos hindi callgirl yung babae. Seriously.

[kreuk]

Iniisip din ata ni ts yun fact na nahuli niya which might mean there're more skeleton in the past or in the future. Lesson wag magpapahuli

[darmonx]

Thanks for all your replies. I've noticed that most girls say leave him, most guys say forgive. Hmmm. I've agreed to talk with BF this weekend, will see.

siyempre duh.... that's a no brainer biasness. Reverse the question... of those guys who wants you to forgive your bf... how many would forgive their gf for getting a good licking from a call boy?

Yang mga ganyang bagay pag naumpisahan na... kadalasan nasusundan at kahit hindi masundan.. it will always be in your thoughts everytime you down look at his penis. mahirap kalaban ang kalungkutan pero mas mahirap pataasin ang sariling pagkatao pag inumpisahan mo ng ibaba ang sarili mo.

[invi]

TS, anyone can have a slip. Question is, how many times has he done this? Or at least from what you know, I think he has done this only once? Assuming you cannot accept if it happens again, well make sure your boyfriend is not a chronic cheater or you will be miserable for the rest of your life (if you stay with him).

Loving is also about forgiving. Taking him back is another matter though.

I guess the bottomline here is that you can be as rational as you want and argue both sides of the story, but eventually you'll have to make your decision based on your emotions. It's risky, but what's life without risks? The question is if this guy is worth taking the risk for.

[locooverchoco]

You have your own principles... the question you need to ask yourself... is if this person is worth breaking your own rules and principles.

I believe that cheating is cheating. That is my principle. Whether you are drunk. Whether no feelings involved. Whether with a call girl. So I hope I don't end up with the likes of JobyBryant 24 and blue_tracer Sorry, guys, but maybe there are more liberal girls who think like you guys do

There should be no fear of getting old alone. As long as you are not lonely.

I fear getting old alone. I'm from a small family. I don't have my parents anymore. I have a sibling who will marry sooner or later. My friends and cousins have families of their own. But I'm not lonely

The question is if this guy is worth taking the risk for.

So BF and I spoke earlier. He asked what he could do, so that I would take him back. He is miserable daw. Then I said if he could talk with our pastor, I could take him back. My BF is NOT a religious man; he is very critical of church. He avoids it if he could. He was shocked at my request. Nakakahiya daw to share this; it's too much. So I told him, then it's definitely over. Part of me knows he will not agree to this. Then after a few moments, he changed his mind! I did not expect that. He would talk to Pastor next weekend. He says he loves me that much. Wow. My numb heart kinda melted. Kinda lang. Like he maybe worth the risk. We'll have to see next week. Coz if he's just taking me for a ride...go na sa revenge. Haha, kidding, am not that kind of girl. The best revenge, if ever, would be to remain my beautiful, sexy, faithful, happy self!

[jazzmine22]

Hmm.. may ganyang ex bf din ako dati, cheated on me, and ang dahilan, lasing daw siya.

Hiniwalayan ko, bakit? simple, ayaw ko makapangasawa ng malasing lang eh gagamit na ng ibang babae.

Ikaw TS, kaya mo bang makapangasawa ng ganyang klase ng lalaki? Nakainom lang ng alak, kunwari eh "nawala sa sarili"?


Kung oo ang sagot mo, patawarin mo, at balikan mo ulit.

Palagi namang tayo ang gumagawa ng kapalaran natin eh.

[infinite_trial]

para sa akin walang grey area ang cheating. kung papatawarin mo yan dahil lasing siya o dahil sinunod niya yung kundisyon mo para magkabalikan kayo, you've set a precedent and next time iisipin niya na ganun lang pala kadali yun.

[blue_tracer]

pagbigyan mo na one more chance. otherwise, ikaw pa masasabihan na makitid ang utak.

kung 'yan maselan ka sa ganyang criterion, sa next time na mahuli mo ulit (which is, mahihirapan ka kasi magiging madulas na 'yan ) wala nang away, discussion pa. automatic na dapat.

bigyan mo na ng chance para naman mapa wheew! muntik na 'ko doon ah siya kahit papano.

[JobyBryant24]

Daming hipokrito at perpeko dito. Seriously.

[goat1230]

^dito lang ba?

eto lang mga tanong ko kay TS:

nagsisisi ba talaga sya sa nagawa nya?

mapapatawad mo ba sya sa nagawa nya?

sigurado ka bang talaga na hindi ka lang takot mag-isa sa hinaharap kaya ka nagko-consider na patawarin sya?

palagay ko ikaw lang ang makakasagot nyang tanong mo.

[adiposethoughts]

Have you ever thought na kahit may asawa at mga anak na ang ibang mga babae jan eh malungkot pa rin sila?

After you marry that son of a bitch and you have kids... What's next?

Really, tell me what's next?

[adiposethoughts]

What if you guys got married and then he had another blow job? AND THEN... the pokpok had some sort of mouth sore that she passed onto your husband. Then he passed on to you? How would you react to it?

What if you guys had children then he suddenly passed away leaving you with nothing?

What if all of a sudden, after tying the knot... it's just that you're not happy with him talaga?

Any Plan B?

[adiposethoughts]

Having new people in your life means that you'll be responsible to take care of, endure, grow up with, provide for, and share everything with them.

Sure ka yan ang gusto mong pasukin?

Palakihin mo pa lalo ang mundo mo friend. There's a lot more in this world than just getting married.

[jazzmine22]

I fully agree with Darmonx, malaking DUH talaga TS, kaya ang mga lalaki eh nagsasabing "patawarin mo", well, it could mean three things kung bakit nila sinasabi na patawarin mo:

- kasi lalaki sila, so nakiki simpatiya sa kapwa lalaki.

- nagawa na rin nila ang ganyang panloloko sa GF nila, and pinatawad sila kasi ga-ga yung GFs nila.

- may balak silang gawin ang sama na panloloko in the near future, and just the same, gusto nila patawarin din sila.

CRAP!

[blue_tracer]

patawarin mo na muna. una, blujab lang naman. pangalawa, GRO naman yun. hindi naman niya talagang fling.

pag full sex na at talagang other girl na... yun doon ka na magreklamo.

eh yun kung malalaman mo pa.

[JobyBryant24]

Pansin ko lang sa thread na to eh its either PRANING or PARANOID ang mga babae sa thread na to. Saan ka sa dalawa?

Para BJ lang amp.

[abusado23]

If you think you trust, or you can still trust him then give him a 2nd chance.