My boyfriend and I, despite our many differences, were happy for 3 years. We could see each other spending the rest of our lives together. I feel he loves me. Then I found, while out with his rich friends, that he got drunk and got a blowjob from a really beautiful and sexy call girl. I asked him about it, and he admitted it to me. He said he was sorry, won't do it again, sent flowers and texted sweet stuff. I have texted him it's over, and has not responded to him for a week. But he is still texting me and is acting like he's waiting for me to change my mind and forgive him. Last week, I was so sure breaking up was the right thing to do.
But now, should i forgive him... because first of all, he was drunk anyway? Because he didn't have feelings for the call girl anyway? Because I don't think I'll find anyone like him...mature, stable, my family loves him? More importantly, because we are in our late 30's, and I'll probably be single forever after this relationship?
But I fear this can happen again in the future, esp with his friends (some are married but still go to these night escapades...hay). I fear I might get STD (paranoid!). I fear the future of a happy family is not with him anyway. And again, we are so different in personalities.
Right now, I'm just numb...I don't know if I hate him or I love him. I'm not crying. When I see his messages, I just delete after reading it, and go on with my work.
Anyway, should I forgive him?