Hi pexers. Matagal na kong follower ng pex. I just want to share my experience and I want your opinion. You may judge me and all pero ang gusto ko lang is mailabas ang feelings ko about my dillema.
I am a guy. I got my girlfriend pregnant 9 yrs ago and I was force to marry her at a young age not knowing what real life is. My parents are both religious, my dad is a former pastor and my mom is active sa church.
When they heard the news, they forced me to marry her and threaten me that they will abandon me if I don't.
The thing is, I was soo young and all I want back then was just pure lust and sex. But that does not mean I don't love my girlfriend. She was my first, everything and back then I'm a "stick to one" type of guy. But then, I still don't want to marry her. Now those naive people may say this quote " eh kung di mo sya mahal, bakit mo binuntis?" Well, I am too young and sex lang ang alam ko noon. di ko alam bumuhay ng pamilya noon.
Now, like some guys, na punta rin a ko sa path na mambabae and I had a lot of girlfriend after marriege which is bad I know. This has brought our relationship to become sour and bitter na din. It is all my fault. I tried to be "the man" but being married too young is just not that easy. I made my gf cry a lot of times and sorry isn't enough.
Me and my gf doesn't really have things in common. Her parents have some grudge to my grandparents and vice versa. But because may anak kami, sige lang. Btw, I love my son soo much and which make things hard for me.
3 years ago, I got another girl pregnant, and I admitted to my gf/wife about it, she has forgiven me and accepted me again. But after a few months, I found out that she was in love to another guy who died a few days ago because he was stabbed by one of his friends. "not me" I just found out after the incident.
I told her na kung di na nya ako mahal, please let me know para di nag lolokohan. ( I can't blame her for loving someone else).
She and her kababata also have some love affair pero sa fb lang. I gave up on it and told her thatif she wants to, she can. Pero I'm not doing this para even kami.
I mentioned earlier na marami kami differences. Utang is one of them and now, ako na ang bumubuhay sa kanya at sa anak ko dahil ang sweldo nya ay pambayad utang lang. This has made our relationship so broken that even if I tried fixing it, I just can't.
Ang haba na pala. Ok, Here is what I want to hear from you guys.
I got tired of chasing girls to love me, cos I know no one will do. But I met a girl who does, she knows my status and it was hard for her to accept na married ako. Btw I told my wife na gusto ko nang makipaghiwalay but I won't stop supporting her. The problem is, now she got stroke and made it more difficult for me.
This girl that I met, I told myself that she's the one. I find it hard to believe that this girl from the city is so hardworking at a very young age. Our gap is 10 years I am older, but it's not what you think. She knows how to cook, do the laundry, she's organized and has a leader value in her. Which is so opposite my ex. I appreciate everything she does and her love for me. She finally accepted our fate. I love her and will do anything for her but they, you guys may say it's not right.
Another thing I am worried about is what if I am not the one for her? I know girls want security but who knows, things change, eventually 5 years from now sya na ang nasa lagay ko?
I have done the right thing before, obeying my parents to get married. But now, I only got 1 life to live and I know that the right thing is to keep my marriege. But hell, I don't want my next 30 years to live in pain. To be with this new girl, I feel like life is worth living. And If loving her will condemn me, I'd gladly accept my fate.
But still, it haunts me.. Should I do the right thing or to be happy. What do you guys think?