four years gone wrong. please help im so sad.. i dont want this to end :(

[twistedstarshine]

Iv been depressed for a month now.
Iv been in a relationship for more than 4 years now.
I knew him since 4th year high school, nanging kami din before for a year and broke up and after 4 years nagkita kami after ko grumaduate ng college. after college naging kami ulit, until now. so i knew him for almost 10 years.

heres my story:
we were super inlove, like we build our world na kami lang, masaya kami na even without going out with friends okay lang samin. He wants me to text him like every minute, he wants me to baby him. ganyan ang buhay namin for the bast four years, kuntento kami na kami lang masaya na. We got engaged, but we cant get married, because my older sister need to get married first. so its okay i know i kept him waiting, but i never changed, i loved him everyday gave him everything. then his work came first now, hes a chef and i know madalas overtime. I understan. But time came na he forgets about me, his reasons was because hes too tired, hes too busy. Still i understand. I know there comes the point na mag tatampo ako and i want him to comfort me. so it became less. Less going out, less talking to the phone, less text. almost every week we fought, my reason is "all im asking is just a text from you" malaman ko lang na nasa work na sya and nakauwi na sya. simple lang ang hinihingi ko. but he cant do it. because of work. too busy, too tired. always nasa away namin dalawa yun.
But, this past few weeks i can feel he has fallen out of love of me. we fought more, said hurtful things. I always end up nagmamakaawa for his time.
I so love him, and i cant lose him. whenever i ask him if he still love me he said yes. Many times i asked him if he wants us to move on with our lives, breakup pero ayaw nya. My love for him is so strong that all that came out in my mouth was I Cant live without him. I really cant. then theres this point he told me that i really need to love myself first because all i do is love him. Is that wrong? I never asked anything from him, all i ask is just a simple text "nasa work na ako babe" and "baby im home" 2 things lang. and hes point he doesnt know how to give it to me.

I got really desperate of this, i dont eat, i cry every night. I dont even know what to do.

we try to fix it. He told me he loves me, and he knows how much i love him. But his words i dont understand. He told me we take everything one at a time. yes i understand. I asked him what do you want me to do? and he said "i dont know." its so frustrating knowing that you wana fix things out but you dont know how to.

His overtime became more overtime. I waited kahit 4 am i wait just to know hes home. pero he doesnt care. he doesnt even text be "baby sleep ka na, i will just call you nalang when i get home" words i wana hear from him.

so i asked him, do you still want to be with me, and he said yes. he still loves me and he still wants to marry me. I love him so much. it never changed.

but my heart hurts, i feel dizzy every time he doesnt text me, every time nakakalimutan nya ako. i tried to just do whatever he wants me to do. just wait for him. wait if he will text me and wait if he will call me.

point comes, i got really mad. that i dont understand anymore, he complains about his overtime, so i told him why do it?
Sometimes i think he wants to spend his time sa work nya. sometimes i get jealous because his workmates are spending time with him. Then it comes to a point na i asked him if theres a third party. But he said "wala babe, ikaw lang ang mahal ko"

how can he say he love me but he doesnt even comforts me when im sad. I dont know what to do.

we were okay for a week then last night we had a dinner, after he told me to meet his workmates and he will be back on 12 midnight cause we will talk, he txted me "babe ill be late, ill call you nalang later" so i feel asleep. about 3:30 am i got no messages from him.
i got really worried, i thought something bad happened to him. so i called and called and called. trying to find a way to find him. hes not answering. i was about to go out and search for him. then after many calls he txt me "enough!"
i was? what? "enough? i got worried thinking something happened to you and you dont answer my call. he got mad and he said "ayan na naman ako, iniisip ko baka my iba sya" so i told him "all im worried if your okay" and his reply was "relax ka lang" the F. all i did was care, and care to the point i told myself "ur breaking my heart" so i stopped calling. and he txted me "i love you"
i did not reply, i just cried and fall asleep crying.

early today he textd me "Baby sa work na ako, sorry about last night, I love you"

i dont know what to reply,i wanted to say im sorry if im like that. sorry again if i made you feel nasasakal. but im scared.

im scared to text him..
please help me.
i dont want to lose him, i love him so much

[xPhilBrooksx]

Hmmm, parang ang hirap nga ng sitwasyon mo ate, di ko alam kung makakatulong kasi di pa naman ako nakakaranas ng ganyan katagal na relationship.
Pero in my opinion, at ayun sa nabasa, youre giving him so much attention na more than sa need niya. As a guy like nung lagi akong inaaalala at kinakamusta ng nanay ko naiinis rin ako at parang gusto ko na rin sabihan si mama ng enough, siguro ganun ang na fe-feel niya. And another thing para sa kin ayaw ko na bawat minutes katulad nung sa ex gf ko na kinukumusta ako ng kumain ka na or you know how much i love you na paulit ulit na medyo nakakainis na rin. So pwede siguro na pabayaan mo siya, act like you dont care kasi gusto ng mga guy yang humahabol. Then kung mahal ka niya talaga, mag-eeffort siya para sayo. Yan ang opinyon ko.

[twistedstarshine]

sabi ko bibigyan ko sya ng space, pero ayaw nya. giving him space will not fix anything, sabi ko i wont text him, ayaw din nya. i really dont know what to do.

[twistedstarshine]

i dont wana sound like a mom too, its just he wanted me to be this way, and whenever i do the things he wants me to do hes pushing me away..

[xPhilBrooksx]

Btw im only 19, so di ko rin alam how more mature people think.
Maybe ate, di mo na naasikaso sarili mo. Like pamper yourself, go to a salon, para di ka stressed/haggard etc. Isa yan sa mga blow sa mga guy eh pag tinatake for granted nila ang isang girl, tapos after nila marerealize how important and gorgeous that girl was, kasi nanyari na rin yan sa akin. Show him kung ano mawawala pag nawala ka sa buhay niya. Dont be threatened, palusot lang nila yun. Pero deep inside magsisisi sila. Time can tell.

[Nils]

Word of advice girl. Bihira sa lalaki ang gusto sa clingy na babae. Tama ang sinabi nya, mahalin mo muna ang sarili mo. We lose interest sa mga babaeng nag-stagnate na ang personality. Relationships should help you grow into a better person, not a simpering clingy useless rag of a person. Continue with your 'you are my life, my everything' and sooner or later you will lose your bf's love. He might not leave you but he will learn to despise what you've become.

[cold_summer]

ts,don't you have friends? stop being clingy and paranoid. get a life.

[PACORAVAN]

teh im not sure kung may pagkaobsess ang dating mo sa knya... tama sya try to relax, clear your mind, remove all the doubts. Tingin ko mahal ka naman tlaga nya yun lang may pagkukulang at sobra sobra naman sayo...

about dun sa text... reply ka sa kanya wag mong ilayo ang sarili mo bumaba na ang pride nya kaya wag mong tlikuran... samantalahin mo *** time na gusto ka nya makausap saka teh kylangan mo din magbawas ng actions mo like too much worrying, doubt... nakakabaliw yan teh... baka dika umabot sa simbahan sa ospital ka damputin... kasi nababaliw ka na sa pagibig...

parang may similirity *** story mo sa movie ni john lloyd at bea...i just forgot the title hehehe... sorry to say this, most of my friends end up their relationship when they reach the 4th year so i would say critical stage kayo kaya kung malampasan nyo ang 4th year CONGRATULATION! then wait on the 8th year for another critical stage... goodluck teh habaan mo lang pasensya mo magiging happy ka din...

[twistedstarshine]

thank you Pacorovan, i needed that.. thank you

[abusado23]

kanta kanta ka na lang TS... ang lalake pag nanlamig may dahilan..kahit anong pagod at busy pa nyan..kung mahal ka talaga gagawa at gagawa ng effort yan pala itext o balitaan ka palagi ng hindi ka nag aalala... may mga friends ka naman yata..go out with them ang enjoy life...

[spiker0819]

ts, its not about giving him space rather letting him do it his way. wag mo ** pinangungunahan sa kung anong gagawin nya para sayo.

one things for sure we men dont like to be taught on what needs to be done, do this and do that is just not our thing. let us be ourselves.

and yeah, you may wanna go out with friends too. the world doesnt revolve around you both only. theres an added spice knowing other worlds.

[TTJ]

sabi ko bibigyan ko sya ng space, pero ayaw nya. giving him space will not fix anything, sabi ko i wont text him, ayaw din nya. i really dont know what to do.

sala sa init,sala sa lamig ka naman. di porke gusto nya ng space eh gusto nya,hindi sya pinapakialaman completely. kung ako BF mo,siguro nakakuyom na palad ko at napasuntok na ako sa pader sa ngitngit. di ako tatagal ng 4 years pag ganyan ang babae.mabait pa yang BF mo.

[Vit@min_C]

twistedstarshine, umpisahan mo nang mag ready sa pagiging depressed,stressed, at loka.

taken for granted ka na. 'tipong safe na safe si chef, kahit anung gawin niya is nandiyan kapa rin, hahabol-habol'. worst nito, hindi niya lang masabi by words na ayaw na niya sa'yo, so pinapa ramdam nalang niya. if you do the move para makipag break, hindi siya guilty dahil ikaw ang nakipag hiwalay(test mo, kung hindi, baka busy lang talala si chef, sa pagtikim ng kanyang putahe).

bakit ba kasi may mga babaeng nag ttyaga sa mga relasyong nasasaktan lang sila(ok lang siguro kung minsan, pero pag paulit-ulit?parang so obobs.

[twistedstarshine]

chef? huh?

twistedstarshine, umpisahan mo nang mag ready sa pagiging depressed,stressed, at loka.

taken for granted ka na. 'tipong safe na safe si chef, kahit anung gawin niya is nandiyan kapa rin, hahabol-habol'. worst nito, hindi niya lang masabi by words na ayaw na niya sa'yo, so pinapa ramdam nalang niya. if you do the move para makipag break, hindi siya guilty dahil ikaw ang nakipag hiwalay(test mo, kung hindi, baka busy lang talala si chef, sa pagtikim ng kanyang putahe).

bakit ba kasi may mga babaeng nag ttyaga sa mga relasyong nasasaktan lang sila(ok lang siguro kung minsan, pero pag paulit-ulit?parang so obobs.

[Vit@min_C]

Iv been depressed for a month now.
Iv been in a relationship for more than 4 years now.
I knew him since 4th year high school, nanging kami din before for a year and broke up and after 4 years nagkita kami after ko grumaduate ng college. after college naging kami ulit, until now. so i knew him for almost 10 years.

heres my story:
we were super inlove, like we build our world na kami lang, masaya kami na even without going out with friends okay lang samin. He wants me to text him like every minute, he wants me to baby him. ganyan ang buhay namin for the bast four years, kuntento kami na kami lang masaya na. We got engaged, but we cant get married, because my older sister need to get married first. so its okay i know i kept him waiting, but i never changed, i loved him everyday gave him everything. then his work came first now, hes a chef and i know madalas overtime. I understan. But time came na he forgets about me, his reasons was because hes too tired, hes too busy. Still i understand. I know there comes the point na mag tatampo ako and i want him to comfort me. so it became less. Less going out, less talking to the phone, less text. almost every week we fought, my reason is "all im asking is just a text from you" malaman ko lang na nasa work na sya and nakauwi na sya. simple lang ang hinihingi ko. but he cant do it. because of work. too busy, too tired. always nasa away namin dalawa yun.
But, this past few weeks i can feel he has fallen out of love of me. we fought more, said hurtful things. I always end up nagmamakaawa for his time.
I so love him, and i cant lose him. whenever i ask him if he still love me he said yes. Many times i asked him if he wants us to move on with our lives, breakup pero ayaw nya. My love for him is so strong that all that came out in my mouth was I Cant live without him. I really cant. then theres this point he told me that i

(

diba po? if ever may mali ako, sorry.

[10619488]

Ganito lang solusyon dyan,

hayaan mo siya wag kang magmakaawa or pilitin na magtext siya..

and I promise you, the wheels will change.. ikaw ang hahabulin. para di mo siya maisip, maging busy ka. basa ka ng blogs at kung ano ano!

Source:
been there. done that and it worked!

[purpleheadd07]

ang haba, di ko na binasa lahat and i stopped at this:

we were super inlove, like we build our world na kami lang, masaya kami na even without going out with friends okay lang samin.

hindi rin naman kasi tama. parang bordering on obsession na iyan. kaya ka mas nahihirapan ngayon.

even when you are in a relationship make it a point to still have a life apart from being his SO.

Nakakaloka nga iyan. one step at a time. let him have his life, ikaw din. may work ka naman siguro? may friends? may family?

be there for him but don't hang on and wait and let your world stop while you wait for him. mahirap kasi iba ang nakasanayan mo pero kakayanin mo iyan.

if you really love each other maaayos naman iyan eh. wag ka lang maging makulit, naku. good luck!

[kesoluvs]

i think your boyfriend DO loves you. yun nga lang tulad ng sabi ng iba nasasakal na sya sa ginagawa mo. i know how you feel. me and my gf were also like that before, halos saming dalawa na lang umikot mundo namin. kaya nga nung nagkawork sya nanibago ko. like you we dont have much time na maglambing. and when I want her na lambingin ako kasi namimiss ko na sya she says she's tired. ako magtatampo kasi nga gusto ko lang naman maramdaman na mahalaga pa rin ako sa kanya. one time we fought again about this and she told me 'DI LANG SA KIN UMIIKOT ANG MUNDO MO!'. it was like a slap in the face. it hurts like hell to hear that pero natauhan ako. im being obsessive because im missing her too much na wala na kong inintindi kundi sya. i said im sorry and i'll stop being too clingy. i texted friends forgotten, hang-out, and do other stuff para makawala ako sa cycle na nagtrap sa ken. all i can say is we're better now.

[christian5327]

Iv been depressed for a month now.
Iv been in a relationship for more than 4 years now.
I knew him since 4th year high school, nanging kami din before for a year and broke up and after 4 years nagkita kami after ko grumaduate ng college. after college naging kami ulit, until now. so i knew him for almost 10 years.

heres my story:
we were super inlove, like we build our world na kami lang, masaya kami na even without going out with friends okay lang samin. He wants me to text him like every minute, he wants me to baby him. ganyan ang buhay namin for the bast four years, kuntento kami na kami lang masaya na. We got engaged, but we cant get married, because my older sister need to get married first. so its okay i know i kept him waiting, but i never changed, i loved him everyday gave him everything. then his work came first now, hes a chef and i know madalas overtime. I understan. But time came na he forgets about me, his reasons was because hes too tired, hes too busy. Still i understand. I know there comes the point na mag tatampo ako and i want him to comfort me. so it became less. Less going out, less talking to the phone, less text. almost every week we fought, my reason is "all im asking is just a text from you" malaman ko lang na nasa work na sya and nakauwi na sya. simple lang ang hinihingi ko. but he cant do it. because of work. too busy, too tired. always nasa away namin dalawa yun.
But, this past few weeks i can feel he has fallen out of love of me. we fought more, said hurtful things. I always end up nagmamakaawa for his time.
I so love him, and i cant lose him. whenever i ask him if he still love me he said yes. Many times i asked him if he wants us to move on with our lives, breakup pero ayaw nya. My love for him is so strong that all that came out in my mouth was I Cant live without him. I really cant. then theres this point he told me that i really need to love myself first because all i do is love him. Is that wrong? I never asked anything from him, all i ask is just a simple text "nasa work na ako babe" and "baby im home" 2 things lang. and hes point he doesnt know how to give it to me.

I got really desperate of this, i dont eat, i cry every night. I dont even know what to do.

we try to fix it. He told me he loves me, and he knows how much i love him. But his words i dont understand. He told me we take everything one at a time. yes i understand. I asked him what do you want me to do? and he said "i dont know." its so frustrating knowing that you wana fix things out but you dont know how to.

His overtime became more overtime. I waited kahit 4 am i wait just to know hes home. pero he doesnt care. he doesnt even text be "baby sleep ka na, i will just call you nalang when i get home" words i wana hear from him.

so i asked him, do you still want to be with me, and he said yes. he still loves me and he still wants to marry me. I love him so much. it never changed.

but my heart hurts, i feel dizzy every time he doesnt text me, every time nakakalimutan nya ako. i tried to just do whatever he wants me to do. just wait for him. wait if he will text me and wait if he will call me.

point comes, i got really mad. that i dont understand anymore, he complains about his overtime, so i told him why do it?
Sometimes i think he wants to spend his time sa work nya. sometimes i get jealous because his workmates are spending time with him. Then it comes to a point na i asked him if theres a third party. But he said "wala babe, ikaw lang ang mahal ko"

how can he say he love me but he doesnt even comforts me when im sad. I dont know what to do.

we were okay for a week then last night we had a dinner, after he told me to meet his workmates and he will be back on 12 midnight cause we will talk, he txted me "babe ill be late, ill call you nalang later" so i feel asleep. about 3:30 am i got no messages from him.
i got really worried, i thought something bad happened to him. so i called and called and called. trying to find a way to find him. hes not answering. i was about to go out and search for him. then after many calls he txt me "enough!"
i was? what? "enough? i got worried thinking something happened to you and you dont answer my call. he got mad and he said "ayan na naman ako, iniisip ko baka my iba sya" so i told him "all im worried if your okay" and his reply was "relax ka lang" the F. all i did was care, and care to the point i told myself "ur breaking my heart" so i stopped calling. and he txted me "i love you"
i did not reply, i just cried and fall asleep crying.

early today he textd me "Baby sa work na ako, sorry about last night, I love you"

i dont know what to reply,i wanted to say im sorry if im like that. sorry again if i made you feel nasasakal. but im scared.

im scared to text him..
please help me.
i dont want to lose him, i love him so much

I am not an expert in love but I would like to share a few things that I have learned as an adult that has been independent for almost 20 years.
1. You cannot keep someone that does not want to be kept. For a relationship to flourish it must be mutual. Sure, there are lopsided relationships but in the long term only relationships between partners that are mutual will endure.
2. No matter what happens all relationships end. Whether a relationship lasts one night or 50 years the harsh reality is that they all end. You must accept and prepare yourself for this inevitability. Learn to be independent before and after a relationship. In your case, you must release this boyfriend of yours simply because you need to find yourself on your own as an independent adult.
3. True love is not what you feel but what you can do for another. This one I will let you think about on your own.
4. There is no such thing as The ONE. As a classic song from the 60's states----Love the one you're with. Many times people wil not accept a relationship if it is less than perfect. For you, it is better to find a relationship that does not cause you so much heartache.
5. The elements and qualities that determine the durability of a relationship will not be immediately evident in a person until much later in a relationship. The qualities we look for many times are not relevant in determining the ultimate durability of a relationship. Someone that is kind, selfless, considerate, etc. helps but this does not determine durability.

If you have any questions email me at christian5327@hotmail.com

[madulimay]

Hindi ko alam ang kwento mo sis, pero sobrang praning ka yata. Too demanding. maliit na bagay pinapalaki. nasasakal na marahil si bf. or just maybe sawa na sa beauty mo. matagal-tagal na din kayo. gusto yata magpakasal pero ayaw mo for the reason you stated. sa kahihintay naumay. ilang taon ka na ba sis. baka kailangan mo na magreassess abt your relationship. about yourself. may patutunguhan pa ba? liligaya ka pa ba if ever na sya nga makatuluyan mo? how abt your bf? masaya pa ba sya sa iyo? masakit man, mahirap man, if its time to let go, magparaya ka. the moment you set him free, you also set yourself free.

ang lalaki ayaw nasasakal. give him the freedom he desires. get yourself a life para di sya un lagi mo nakikita. sobrang pogi ba sya at patay na patay ka? wag parang linta. wag pakialamera. magBF pa lang kayo ngayon, paano pag mag-asawa na? baka igapos mo. kahit mag-asawa may kanya kanya pa rin kayong buhay. di kailangan oras-oras magkadikit kayo. yung request mo na magreport sya sa iyo ng 2x a day , well OK naman yun pero ***** ipaliwanag mo ng maayos kung bakit mo hinihingi. baka naman kasi talak mode ka kaagad kaya di kayo magkaintindihan.

mahal ka nun kaya wag masyado mag-alala. tulad ng sabi nya find time to love yourself as well. baka nga naman kasi napapabayaan mo na rin ang sarili mo. magparlor ka or mag-spa para laging beauty at di pagsawaan.