I'm posting this because I just don't know what else to do to help my girlfriend. Or how to get some thicker skin. To be as brief as possible:
We've been together for two years now. Mostly happy although some difficulty a couple of months ago and we broke up but we reconciled and got back together 6 months ago. We were working things out and seemed to be getting along better before her cousin passed away. My girlfriend loved her cousin very much as she was like a big sister to my girl. She looked up to her a lot and turned to her for support since she was a kid. I see her cousin as an older sister too. Went with her several times on family get-togethers, and made a very nice connection with her cousin... We got along great.
After her cousinís sudden death, she understandably, became extremely moody.... which progressed to anger---directed some toward herself or family, but mostly at me!
I feel like I could no longer talk to her without her getting mad or pissed at me.
The other day, I was telling her about my day at work and I mentioned that I felt like Iíve hit rock bottom with how things are going at the bank and instead of empathizing with me, she snapped at me for ďwhining about trivial thingsĒ and proceeded to lash out at me. Accusing me of being narrow-minded and calling me a spoiled, privileged jerk who take things for granted. I know that there are worse things in life than the stock index going down but I wanted to reach out to her and share what was going on with my life. Work has been kicking my *** in so many ways and I thought sharing my troubles with her would help me feel better like it used to.
There are several instances when she would explode or lose her temper over the smallest things. Itís like everything that comes out of my mouth makes her angry. I understand that being angry is part of the grieving process but this is just ridiculous. Sheís acting as if I killed her cousin or something. When sheís not withdrawing from the world and shutting me out, sheís either mad or irritated with me. Itís so difficult because we live together so Iím always at the receiving end of her wrath. It feels as if Iím constantly walking on egg shells around her.
Although my needs aren't important right now, I wanted badly to pamper her... to take care of her but she wouldnít let me. A part of me feels a bit frustrated that my best intentions, my sweetest gestures are taken for granted. I want to provide at least some measure of comfort in the best ways I know how, and feel like I'm being shoved aside. I cared for her cousin a great deal and her death affected me even more than I anticipated. I suppose I had the mistaken impression that we could comfort one another and it hurts that she doesn't seem to want any of it.
Almost everything I say or do is annoying or just plain wrong.
I don't know what to do here. Any advice is truly appreciated.... thank you.