How to respond to this, I really need help.
I hope you can spare your time to read this.
Ive been reading articles and FAQ's these past few weeks about children talking about emotionally abusive parent, Im 21 years old and it really look embarassing for me to have this kind of issue cause i know i should've been with myself now and deciding stuff being independently free, but reality struck me im still living under my parents maybe because of this cultural and traditional way of living here in the philippines specially family oriented regions, this issue has been affecting me real bad to the point that i fight over things that I can do, and my Mom doesnt want me to take any risk, maybe thats why im so ignorant of things like everytime in school im always afraid to voice out my opinion in a group of people thinking i get another snide remarks, "like dont force yourself to do things you can't, because you should just accept that you can't." like my Mom says.
I admit that im not the like the best obedient person ever, but i really do obey my parent speacially in large situations like having to school in a place near at home, and getting my schedules that wont pass 5:00 pm(but im graduating so its impossible to have a schedule that wont pass 5), and last year we move to my step fathers house and i dont think i became a big issue to them, also in little things like when im out(because of school) and she would text me to buy some stuff which i did, i remember i get disobedient at times she tells me to take a bath this noon before it gets dark, to go to bed early, to fold my clothes, even what i eat, whats terrible is if she sees that i didnt respond to it at call, she would again unleash her terrible mouth that would say things like, "you're an animal, you're an ungrateful and you didnt do any thing right in your life". I guess its a lose lose situtation she treats me like im retarded and i cant be out(because she wont let me to go to friends house) so i just bum all day at home(which bore me, so i get to learn to play guitar), having in their mind that i dont deserve any responsibilities at home so what she does is to notice every need for my self, simple things like taking a bath, brushing your teeth , Oh I really feel like they treated me like retarded person ever and they dont want me to take risk going out its really a terrible situation i think at this age.
Last time we had this argument, they keep saying "youre an animal!" because I didnt obey to end a facebook game, (zynga poker) she plays it too, i know!, we were an addict, say 10 hrs a day? a 4 day straight since my brother got out from a week vacation here, anyway so she's really affected at some players(bluffers: make you think they have strong cards but truth is they dont) she keeps saying in front of the monitor of how animals and a demon the players are, then me in the other room also playing which luckily win and ofcourse like a child hey i win millions which again a snide comments "youre a bragger",, thing is i win easily and lose easily and i dont have a problem with that, and if i dont have i ask from them to give me some, so after i ended the game i ate lunch and she still in heat with a poker player, so i finish my meal, then she ends her game and readying to eat lunch, and i just talk about some ordinary thoughts then she replied " do not talk to me." well, i feel like she's hating me for something, so i replied "are you angry because i have chips."? this situation seem all metaphorical to others but unfortunately its not.
So here's the thing she says "are you saying that your parent is jealous of you?"
and I replied "I dont know, its just why are you hating me then?".
she insist that i told her that she's jelous and she cant accept that so there you go another expected harmful words like youre a demon, ungrateful, disappointment, animal yeah so i quickly open a tab while shes at it about abusive parents, then she tells me to get out, "i told her im reading(i just want to her to see what im reading)." she physically get me out from my sit and unplug the computer so i told her "its you, that abusive parent!".
there a minute verbal abuse again so i keep talking about "yeah youre exactly like the ones i read about" and couple of minutes saying im demon, so i told her "you know a children try to kill herself to get away from that feelings." then she stops a bit, anyway i remember telling me that she would send me to hell because im a demon, if sometime in your life you would be successful its because youre a demon, many successful people are demons."
please i need your thoughts about this.
am i disrepectful answering back to her like"no i didnt do anything to make you say all that to me". then after saying it she would go like again "you have a demon in your back."