The story unfolding of a sucker bride to be

[susmariosep]

I am the father of a daughter, a practicing doctor of medicine; she wants to get married because she is getting on in years, 35 going to 36 years old.

So she met a guy who is the self-claimed operator of a small pancitan, but I can see that the eatery belongs to his mother; they three brothers and one mother live together in an apartment unit.

It seems he is the first brother to get married; he is as I learned from my daughter who is very secretive, about perhaps as old as 40 years old or maybe 38 years old.

What is the most appealing merit of this man?

My daughter keeps saying that he is very mabait.

Otherwise my daughter is very secretive about him and his background and where he lives.

I had to find out myself and took the trouble to locate his eatery and his home, which both are not re-assuring.

I have two homes in a village both damaged by Ondoy and not occupied at present.

So my daughter asked me to use one as their home.

Since I had wanted to sell both of them cheap because I don't need them and besides I am paying their property tax, and she and her groom to be are now interested (previously they were not interested because they thought that it is easy to get a decent place for a home after the wedding, and why should they live in a damaged home in a flood-prone location), I agreed on condition that they would take the care to restore the one they have chosen to live in, and to eventually also restore the other one and do something with it to earn money for themselves as also for me.

They agreed; and I also imposed upon them that next year and every year thereafter they will pay the property tax of the two homes, on land and improvement.

Now what?

They have cleaned up the home they want to live in, now they are looking for a contractor to do the restoration work.

They have been searching for a contractor I think over two months already, and their wedding is set for November this year.

I noticed that during the cleaning up phase my daughter was the one spending for work payments to workers outside and things used during the cleaning process, but the guy would get two workers from his eatery to do most of the work that was not done by outsiders; the work of cleaning was done in I think 4 Saturdays.

Well, good, the place is not as bad as before the cleaning up.

Now, the search for a contractor, and the guy has been at it for as I said over two months.

He finally found a guy acceptable to himself and my daughter; then out of the blue this guy is asking an advance of only 15,000 pesos to get started; I heard on telephone my daughter telling him, "No, no advance."

But I fear my daughter will give in eventually.

I told her that from my and my wife her mother's very sad experience, it will be ever recurring advances until her budget is used up and the work is not yet completed; and when the guy sees that there is no more money coming, he will also no longer be coming to continue with the work of restoration, even abandoning his own men.

I am writing this thread as a record for myself and for her to read later when the guy stops coming owing to no more money from my daughter.

And I fear that at that point my daughter will want me to come out with my money.

I am a retired professor in my 70's but with savings with which I hope to keep myself alive and comfortable, and also to die comfortably with.

I fear that the guy his groom to be is a sweet-talker and in effect an exploiter.


Let us see what is going to turn out eventually.



Susmariosep

[jazzmine22]

ang sa akin lang, 36 years old na yung anak mo, let her go.

[purpleheadd07]

okay lang sana to basta let her go kaso they are using his property, naku. hehe...

[kim G]

let it be........

kung nakikita kong mukhang inuutakan anak
kung parang manipulator ang future son in law ko
kung ang future husband ng anak ko na professional is almost middle age and still living with his mother

i dont think i will let it go.

ts
you dont have to be in their face but be on top of it. your daughter will surely can use a friend in this situation who she can trust and relied on.

[adiposethoughts]

I'm sorry for your daughter. She needs a lot more guidance. She's ignorant of so many things.

[susmariosep]

Thanks, guys, for your replies.

I will just add at this point that my daughter and her groom to be have decided not to give any advance to the contractor who is asking for an advance of just 15,000 pesos to get started.

They have gone to the first contractor who is what I would consider an established contractor with an office in a decent business location, and who does not ask for advances of any kind, so far though.

This first contractor was not earlier taken seriously by them because he seemed to be expensive; that is why they started to ask around from all kinds of people even from the neighborhood security guard.

This established contractor gave his bid proposal and I read it and thought that it was reasonable, namely, the quotation and the description of the work he would do.

I will continue to write here, to obtain your reactions, and also for my own record.

About my daughter's groom to be, he does look like a decent guy trying to make a living and apparently is succeeding though not like Corona is making so much dough, just enough for him to now think of getting married and starting a home of his own and a family.

So, I must give him the benefit of the presumption of decency and honesty.



Susmariosep

[jazzmine22]

About my daughter's groom to be, he does look like a decent guy trying to make a living and apparently is succeeding though not like Corona is making so much dough, just enough for him to now think of getting married and starting a home of his own and a family.

So, I must give him the benefit of the presumption of decency and honesty.



Susmariosep

There you go. I have a daughter too, and I am not praying for an insulated world for her, she's allowed to to make mistakes, because from her mistakes, she'd grow, and learn about life, and be a person she'd want to be.

I'd rather have a non-rich decent responsible son-in-law, than a rich scumbag.

[susmariosep]

I don't guard my daughter, she is a grown-up adult working in a hospital and getting along in life.

What is bugging me is the guy who is going to occupy one of my two homes though damaged by Ondoy.

As I said, I presume that he is a decent honest guy who is now ready to settle down, and my daughter is interested in him for a partner in the lifestyle of home and family.

What is bugging me as I said already is that the guy is going to occupy for his home upon his marriage with my daughter, one of my two homes, while when my wife her mother and I got married we had a hard time getting a home to live in, and no one at all even made available an Ondoy damaged house for us to get started with as the stage for our home and family career.

That is what is bugging me if I am honest and can see into myself to realize my concern.

So, I am writing here for a record of my present concern about my daughter and her groom to be, how they are going to make good use of my real estate.

And also I have to admit honestly that my daughter might eventually -- still I hope not ever -- come to me to use my money to finish the restoration work on the damaged home; that is also what is bugging me.

Anyway, I am observing how things are going to turn out.


Susmariosep

[kim G]

i hope your daughter and future husband will have a harmonious life.

i have 3 daughters and all i hope for them is to be independent and strong enough to stand alone
and find a life partners who are equal to them mentally,psychologically and spiritually.

[juanito5354]

hi sir, for me just give them your guidance and support in building their family and future.

hoping both your daughter and "son-in-law to be" is old enough to know what's right and wrong for them.

trust them regarding one of your homes i'm sure hindi nila pababayaan yun at iingatan maigi.

good day.

[chickenjoe]

sir sorry i hope this does not offend you, pero right now you said na walang nakatira at wala namang gumagamit nung 2 bahay niyo. ano ba balak niyo paggamitan nun just in case na hindi titirhan ng anak niyo? alam ko pinaghirapan niyo ng husto yung 2 bahay pero sa inyo pa rin naman yata yun nakapangalan kahit pa gamitin ng anak niyo.. kung sobrang malaki problema na nadudulot ng bahay niyo sa pagpapakasal ng anak niyo, ibenta niyo na lang po siguro para mahawakan niyo yung pera niyo at mabantayan niyong maigi.. nothing personal against you sir ha honest opinion ko lang to sa post niyo..

[susmariosep]

sir sorry i hope this does not offend you, pero right now you said na walang nakatira at wala namang gumagamit nung 2 bahay niyo. ano ba balak niyo paggamitan nun just in case na hindi titirhan ng anak niyo? alam ko pinaghirapan niyo ng husto yung 2 bahay pero sa inyo pa rin naman yata yun nakapangalan kahit pa gamitin ng anak niyo.. kung sobrang malaki problema na nadudulot ng bahay niyo sa pagpapakasal ng anak niyo, ibenta niyo na lang po siguro para mahawakan niyo yung pera niyo at mabantayan niyong maigi.. nothing personal against you sir ha honest opinion ko lang to sa post niyo..

Thanks for your reply, no I don't see why your post should be in any way offensive to me.



My wife died last July 28, 2010, today it is July 25, 2012.

After Ondoy we did not return to our two homes anymore in Marikina City, but we got a small condo in QC near a hospital where my wife could get to fast and easy, for she had plenty of health problems.

Before she died we had hoped to restore both homes but never had the time to do it, what with her being very sickly and I already busy with her, and besides both of us being in our early 70's were not driven by ambition to imagine that we would be living another active 20 years.

Upon her death I thought it best to sell both homes cheap, because what I can't use is useless to me, and I had to make sure that our savings would last me until I exhale my last breath.

Our two children: the second one a boy is working abroad with his wife also working there and a baby girl plus a helper from the Philippines, and my daughter is here in the country and working as a doctor in a government hospital, going to get married toward the end of the present year 2012.

My daughter and her fiancé did not want to occupy the homes in Marikina City, they imagined that they could build or buy or rent a better place not flood-prone.

After some search and serious thinking they realized that it takes a lot of money to get a good place to live in, which made them come to their senses as to get realistic.

So my daughter asked me whether they could restore the homes in Marikina City, the one that is not prone to flooding except a flood comes on the scale of Ondoy.

I told her yes on condition that they two pay for the property tax every year completely and faithfully, for the one they are going to occupy and the one I also got them to agree that they would restore eventually, and make it useful as to earn money for themselves with a cut for me.

That is the situation I am in right now as regards my daughter and her fiancé going to occupy and make use of both my homes in Marikina City.

What's bugging me?

The son-in-law to be, that's what's bugging me, because he obviously is getting too lucky as to be comfortable to myself.

Call that old-fashion envy.

But my daughter has got to get married and have her own family and home.

The fiancé seems to be a decent and also decently productive man.

And here is the big BUT, how is he going to turn out in later years?

That is why I am writing in this thread.

The guy is plain too lucky, compared to how my wife and I got started on our career as a married couple when we were trying to get a place for our first home.


I just hope and pray that my daughter does not play the sucker owing to her present 'love' for the guy.

Right now I understand from my daughter that she spends for the home restoration, while he spends for their wedding, and that bugs me.

On the other hand, it does sound reasonable because the house to be restored belongs to me and it will go to my daughter when I die.

Just the same, it still bugs me.

That is why I say to myself to just see how things are turning out, in the meantime hope and pray and continue to drop in some useful tips to my daughter about caution.



Susmariosep