2 Years-still haven't completely moved on

[mondee]

Yeah.. thanks mondee.. It just feels silly sometimes that it had to take me 2 years to realize that I shouldn't have rushed myself into trying to "move on". I actually rather prefer "move forward"...



And thanks for this one... this is really moving and beautiful..

welcome girl, ako din ang moving on ko umabot ng mahigit 5 years, pero okay lang. it's part of life, marami kang matutunan.

[Voku]

i wish nga po its really too hard to move on lahat ng mga bagay na connected ka sa kanya itapon mo or sirain mo. lahat ng lugar layuan mo..... ang hirap eh. sobra pero thanks sa advice siguro nga kailangan natin bumangon hindi para sa for the sake na makapasok sa bagong relasyon kundi para sa sarili natin... para umikot ulit ang mundo natin ng normal.. without your most precious person whom you spent your precious time with

[sugaDaddy4u]

Hi desperada32,

I've seen your post couple of days ago. I've read some of the posts and I agree with them all. I thought of going back here and contribute something when I'm no longer that busy. Well here it is--just don't take it too personally if this post might seem harsh for you.

ACCEPT IT. Accept the fact that he's gone and the two of you are HISTORY and he's not coming back (I believe). Two years is enough for grieving. In my opinion, it's not a good idea to post what you've initially written here since it somewhat "traps" you in your depression stage. You have to accept the fact that your relationship as a couple is OVER; it has ENDED two years ago.

HELP YOURSELF. Say goodbye to depression by using your head not heart. Yes you can teach your heart to heal itself faster. Tell yourself that it's a waste of time siting there waiting for someone to wipe-out all the heartaches. It's a good idea to come to this forum but I suggest that you write something positive. You can write a "goodbye" post or a "so long" post to your ex. Posting something that would help you heal your heart should be your objective.

GO OUT AND DATE. Yes, don't deprive yourself of love and fun. It's worthwhile to engage in activities that serves as therapy to your wounded heart. This doesn't mean you'll look for a rebound guy but keep in mind that you're single and you have the opportunity to do what a normal single woman would do to enjoy life. May natitira pang matitinong lalake sa mundo. You have the right to date; you need to go out and date. Have some friends set you up--even just for fun. Do it!

TALK TO FRIENDS. Though it may look like spending time in forums like this makes sense, it still best to talk to your friends or your very best friend. You should contact them and tell them that you are ready for everything. Spend time with them; probably go someplace for vacation and have some meaningful talk with them. Maybe you should do those things that you and your friend did before when you were still single. Maybe it's also a good opportunity to make up with lost time with your friends since you became single.

ENJOY TIME WITH YOUR FAMILY if friends are too busy with their lives at this times. You have spent a lot of time with your ex before and probably neglected to spend some time with you parents and sibling. Include the relatives--it may be worthwhile to visit them. Visit your grandparents if they're still alive.

ENGAGE IN FUN ACTIVITIES. What's your favorite sport? What were your hobbies before? You should make yourself busy with worthwhile activities. Even better if these activities give you the opportunity to meet other people with similar interests. Who knows, you could end up finding a date here. If you don't have some sort of pastime, you SHOULD have at least one--going to the malls is NOT a good pastime. To give some examples: learn cooking, baking, photography, blogging, outreach programs, church activities, trekking, karaoke, etc. Involve yourself with something; interesting guys don't like uninteresting women. Make yourself interesting.

LEARN FROM THIS EXPERIENCE. We experience good things as well as bad things in order to better understand life. Certain things HAPPEN FOR A REASON and that its for you to think about it and learn from it. Love isn't invented for you to experience just the good side of it but to understand the sad part as well--losing love. Maybe, you need to experience this so you as a person knows what it's like to be in this situation. It's part of the process of learning about life-- understanding PAIN to be a better person.

LIFE IS SHORT. Don't waste it waiting for the right time to get up. Now is the time to go back to the saddle again. Remember that there are other people out the who had far worst experience than yours but they were able to bounce back. As the saying goes, "If you fall, get up and try it again." If you lose your job, look for another one; if you're hungry, eat; if your sad, make yourself happy, etc.

Finally here's an assignment for you, desperada32. You need to post something here that's POSITIVE; something that tells us that you are now moving on with your life. We'll be glad to hear from you doing the right thing.

That's all!

[desperada32]

Hi desperada32,

I've seen your post couple of days ago. I've read some of the posts and I agree with them all. I thought of going back here and contribute something when I'm no longer that busy. Well here it is--just don't take it too personally if this post might seem harsh for you.

ACCEPT IT. Accept the fact that he's gone and the two of you are HISTORY and he's not coming back (I believe). Two years is enough for grieving. In my opinion, it's not a good idea to post what you've initially written here since it somewhat "traps" you in your depression stage. You have to accept the fact that your relationship as a couple is OVER; it has ENDED two years ago.

HELP YOURSELF. Say goodbye to depression by using your head not heart. Yes you can teach your heart to heal itself faster. Tell yourself that it's a waste of time siting there waiting for someone to wipe-out all the heartaches. It's a good idea to come to this forum but I suggest that you write something positive. You can write a "goodbye" post or a "so long" post to your ex. Posting something that would help you heal your heart should be your objective.

GO OUT AND DATE. Yes, don't deprive yourself of love and fun. It's worthwhile to engage in activities that serves as therapy to your wounded heart. This doesn't mean you'll look for a rebound guy but keep in mind that you're single and you have the opportunity to do what a normal single woman would do to enjoy life. May natitira pang matitinong lalake sa mundo. You have the right to date; you need to go out and date. Have some friends set you up--even just for fun. Do it!

TALK TO FRIENDS. Though it may look like spending time in forums like this makes sense, it still best to talk to your friends or your very best friend. You should contact them and tell them that you are ready for everything. Spend time with them; probably go someplace for vacation and have some meaningful talk with them. Maybe you should do those things that you and your friend did before when you were still single. Maybe it's also a good opportunity to make up with lost time with your friends since you became single.

ENJOY TIME WITH YOUR FAMILY if friends are too busy with their lives at this times. You have spent a lot of time with your ex before and probably neglected to spend some time with you parents and sibling. Include the relatives--it may be worthwhile to visit them. Visit your grandparents if they're still alive.

ENGAGE IN FUN ACTIVITIES. What's your favorite sport? What were your hobbies before? You should make yourself busy with worthwhile activities. Even better if these activities give you the opportunity to meet other people with similar interests. Who knows, you could end up finding a date here. If you don't have some sort of pastime, you SHOULD have at least one--going to the malls is NOT a good pastime. To give some examples: learn cooking, baking, photography, blogging, outreach programs, church activities, trekking, karaoke, etc. Involve yourself with something; interesting guys don't like uninteresting women. Make yourself interesting.

LEARN FROM THIS EXPERIENCE. We experience good things as well as bad things in order to better understand life. Certain things HAPPEN FOR A REASON and that its for you to think about it and learn from it. Love isn't invented for you to experience just the good side of it but to understand the sad part as well--losing love. Maybe, you need to experience this so you as a person knows what it's like to be in this situation. It's part of the process of learning about life-- understanding PAIN to be a better person.

LIFE IS SHORT. Don't waste it waiting for the right time to get up. Now is the time to go back to the saddle again. Remember that there are other people out the who had far worst experience than yours but they were able to bounce back. As the saying goes, "If you fall, get up and try it again." If you lose your job, look for another one; if you're hungry, eat; if your sad, make yourself happy, etc.

Finally here's an assignment for you, desperada32. You need to post something here that's POSITIVE; something that tells us that you are now moving on with your life. We'll be glad to hear from you doing the right thing.

That's all!

Hey, thanks for going through the extra mile with this advice, and no, I won't take this personally. These things that you mentioned, I've tried it all. I guess this post was a result of a surge of emotions because of one silly thing that happened before I came to write this post... I've been better actually, compared to the wreck I was before... I just wanted to own up to my emotions and avoid pretending feeling something otherwise. Mahirap kasi lokohin ang sarili.

Anyway, don't worry.. As soon as I can, I'd take you up on that assignment you gave--that positive post about finally breaking free from the clutches of the memories of my cheating ex.

Thanks so much, sugaDaddy4u

[uzumaki_naruto]

♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪

tutulungan kitang..
malimot mo siya..
ibabalik ang dati mong sigla..
aking gagamutin..
puso mong sinugatan..
sugat na dulot ng..
salawahan..

♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪

[desperada32]

^

[sugaDaddy4u]

Hey, thanks for going through the extra mile with this advice, and no, I won't take this personally. These things that you mentioned, I've tried it all. I guess this post was a result of a surge of emotions because of one silly thing that happened before I came to write this post... I've been better actually, compared to the wreck I was before... I just wanted to own up to my emotions and avoid pretending feeling something otherwise. Mahirap kasi lokohin ang sarili.

Anyway, don't worry.. As soon as I can, I'd take you up on that assignment you gave--that positive post about finally breaking free from the clutches of the memories of my cheating ex.

Thanks so much, sugaDaddy4u

That's great! I'll be waiting for those positive posts soon!

In the meantime, here's a song for you...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtbw0yhsQKc

Happy listening and have a wonderful evening!

[mondee]

actually desperada, andami kong nagawa sa first love ko. Nung college meron kaming subject na speech, ang midterms namin ay gumawa ng speech at yung title ng speech ko is the love that i'll never have, wala dun ko nabulalas lahat ng gusto kong sabihin, naiyak ako while delivering the speech kahit mga classmate ko at pati prof ko. nakakatuwa lang kasi a week before ko ideliver yung speech nakita ko sya.

[desperada32]

That's great! I'll be waiting for those positive posts soon!

In the meantime, here's a song for you...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtbw0yhsQKc

Happy listening and have a wonderful evening!

I'll check on this youtube link later when I get home.. too bad youtube is blocked here in the office...
Thanks again... Appreciate it much.

[desperada32]

actually desperada, andami kong nagawa sa first love ko. Nung college meron kaming subject na speech, ang midterms namin ay gumawa ng speech at yung title ng speech ko is the love that i'll never have, wala dun ko nabulalas lahat ng gusto kong sabihin, naiyak ako while delivering the speech kahit mga classmate ko at pati prof ko. nakakatuwa lang kasi a week before ko ideliver yung speech nakita ko sya.

You know mondee, this thread is just my 2nd post here... The first post i did here, right after I joined PEX was during those times I found out my ex was cheating on me. Ganun din nangyari sakin, I actually turn into writing whenever I feel down-I guess it's my way of venting out my frustrations. One time, after my training in my current job, part of our revalida was to showcase any talent you have. So what I did was write about my sob story and read it to the panel. Some of the panelists were moved to tears... So, I guess we really all have our own ways in dealing with our grief...

I think sugaDaddy4u's assignment is quite a challenge for me, though. This time, I have to write something positive. I think it's gonna take me some time before I come up with that. (fingers crossed)

[sugaDaddy4u]

Here's another healing song from Carrie Underwood:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxPT3O-X4vc

"Starts With Goodbye"

I was sitting on my doorstep,
I hung up the phone and it fell out of my hand,
But I knew I had to do it,
And he wouldn't understand,
So hard to see myself without him,
I felt a piece of my heart break,
But when you're standing at a crossroad,
There's a choice you gotta make.

[Chorus:]
I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.

I know there's a blue horizon,
Somewhere up ahead, just waiting for me,
Getting there means leaving things behind,
Sometimes life's so bitter sweet.

[Chorus:]
I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.

Time, time heals,
The wounds that you feel,
Somehow, right now.

I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
Starts with goodbye,
The only way you try to find,
Moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye,
Na na na na na na na.


Try listening to music that will help you move on.

A homegrown music that I used to listen was "Tuloy Pa Rin" by Neocolours. I kept playing this again and again and again before... that reminded me to move on. I stayed away from depressing songs (though it's nice to sing them sometimes). Do you sing--even for yourself silently? You know, singing is also a form of therapy... or just for fun. SING!

[desperada32]

^ I do sing a lot.. in my head nga lang kc people listening would get a major headache if they hear me.. But yeah, I did listen to a lot of songs dati-pero they were more on the depressing side. Kc when you're down sometimes, you feel na *relate* ka sa lahat ng break-up songs ever written.

Thanks for the suggestion... I did love "I Think God Can Explain" by Splender

[mondee]

You know mondee, this thread is just my 2nd post here... The first post i did here, right after I joined PEX was during those times I found out my ex was cheating on me. Ganun din nangyari sakin, I actually turn into writing whenever I feel down-I guess it's my way of venting out my frustrations. One time, after my training in my current job, part of our revalida was to showcase any talent you have. So what I did was write about my sob story and read it to the panel. Some of the panelists were moved to tears... So, I guess we really all have our own ways in dealing with our grief...

I think sugaDaddy4u's assignment is quite a challenge for me, though. This time, I have to write something positive. I think it's gonna take me some time before I come up with that. (fingers crossed)

ako gumawa pa ako nun ng compilation ng song about moving on eh, nakakaloka lang ppinaggagawa ko ngayon pag naalala ko sila, natutuwa ako.

anyways, a song by christina millan.

[sugaDaddy4u]

^ I do sing a lot.. in my head nga lang kc people listening would get a major headache if they hear me.. But yeah, I did listen to a lot of songs dati-pero they were more on the depressing side. Kc when you're down sometimes, you feel na *relate* ka sa lahat ng break-up songs ever written.

Thanks for the suggestion... I did love "I Think God Can Explain" by Splender

Well this is the first time I heard someone sing like that! You don't have to sing aloud for other people (to hear). It's ok just to whisper-sing so you can hear and appreciate your own voice. It's best to sing songs that inspire--or just reminder, like times when some people sing a song to manage stress.

Do you like jokes? Who doesn't?! One good thing for you to do is to start telling jokes to your office mates and friends. I've been to a gathering few months ago and the senior attendees which were former military school classmates, took their turns at telling everybody their prepared jokes. Totally hilarious start for a serious meeting. Yes, exercise and improve your sense of humor. It will teach not to take life seriously or to be 'manhid'--haha! Go to the internet and find those posted funny jokes in many websites/forums.

[desperada32]

ako gumawa pa ako nun ng compilation ng song about moving on eh, nakakaloka lang ppinaggagawa ko ngayon pag naalala ko sila, natutuwa ako.

anyways, a song by christina millan.

[video=youtube;SYOKlQb0zKg]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYOKlQb0zKg&feature=fvst

thank you mondee... sana dumating na rin ako sa stage na yun--when i could just laugh things off.. anyway i'm sure darating din yun

[desperada32]

Well this is the first time I heard someone sing like that! You don't have to sing aloud for other people (to hear). It's ok just to whisper-sing so you can hear and appreciate your own voice. It's best to sing songs that inspire--or just reminder, like times when some people sing a song to manage stress.

Do you like jokes? Who doesn't?! One good thing for you to do is to start telling jokes to your office mates and friends. I've been to a gathering few months ago and the senior attendees which were former military school classmates, took their turns at telling everybody their prepared jokes. Totally hilarious start for a serious meeting. Yes, exercise and improve your sense of humor. It will teach not to take life seriously or to be 'manhid'--haha! Go to the internet and find those posted funny jokes in many websites/forums.

i actually alot a little time in the office to browse through pages like 9gag & stuff... Humor does help a lot in coping with stress. I believe I'm also quite the clown when I'm with friends or with office mates. I'm just glad I'm almost always around nice enough people. Kaso nga, there are just times I feel hollow, lalo once I'm alone na--pero not naman always, i mean everyone of us have our share of rainy days.

[mondee]

thank you mondee... sana dumating na rin ako sa stage na yun--when i could just laugh things off.. anyway i'm sure darating din yun

darating ka din dun, ako inabot ako ng more than 5 years eh.. pero ok lang.

another song for you.

[cessiechu]

Hello desperada.
All things happen for a reason. I understand how hard and how frustrating it is. But there is nothing we can do but to Let go and Let God. I believe that in time, you will be able to move on. Just keep on trying. It's good to hear that your family and friends got your back. Love yourself more. Actually, I'm happy that many doors opened for you Remember, Prayer changes things.

[desperada32]

Hello desperada.
All things happen for a reason. I understand how hard and how frustrating it is. But there is nothing we can do but to Let go and Let God. I believe that in time, you will be able to move on. Just keep on trying. It's good to hear that your family and friends got your back. Love yourself more. Actually, I'm happy that many doors opened for you Remember, Prayer changes things.

Thank you cessiechu! It's during these times that people learn to appreciate the fact that no one's completely alone. For years, umikot mundo ko sa isang tao, although unintentionally, i admit that for a while, i failed to nourish other relationships i had--with my family, friends, & with God. And it is a good thing that when I needed them the most, they were still there to come to my rescue

I'm on the road to discovery on how to love myself more. Like they say, you cannot give what you don't have, so I might even take this chance to save up some love for myself para when the right one comes along, I have my reserves.

Anyway thanks a lot... I've been getting a lot of positive insights lately, and I take this as a sign that I am on the right track.

[mondee]

listening to this song.