2 Years-still haven't completely moved on

[desperada32]

It's been quite a while... Long enough for people who care about me to tell me to stop thinking about it altogether completely. I've suffered long enough. I shouldn't burden myself anymore with these emotions that consume me whenever I think of you. But I have decided to let this go on its natural course. I've decided to stop hurrying myself to forget about these things that bother me constantly. I did try to 'move on'. I once tried engaging in a new relationship, which was an epic fail--to no avail. I tried forgetting and avoided the people whom I know would remind me of you. I tried all sorts of things just to forget you. And where did that get me? It turned me into this ticking time bomb--ready to explode with just the drop of a hat. I no longer want to pretend that I'm fine when I'm actually not.

I've gotten better, gradually. I've got my act together, compared to the wreck that I was when you left me. I've started to build a career--one of those vital things that I have neglected when we were together. Although I started on entry level, at my age, I mean at THIS age, I feel in time I could also succeed. I've reunited with my old friends-the people whom I rarely had time for during those times I was with you. I've gotten closer to my family, because they were the first ones who came to my rescue when I felt I had nowhere else to go. It wasn't that bad after all. They say when one door closes, a number of opportunities would come rushing in-only if you let them. And I'm thankful I welcomed those opportunities.

But here I am, back to square one. Due to some uneventful circumstances, I've realized that I haven't completely gotten over the ordeal that you've put me through. At that instance when these rush of emotions came over me, I felt I needed to talk to you, because once again, I've got that longing to make you explain how we ended up like this, how you've managed to hurt me and leave me without a second thought. Once again, I felt I wanted to hurt you, curse at you, blame you for it seems that all the years I've spent with you were a waste of my time. But I wouldn't-I couldn't impose. You have your own life now to lead now, and your new relationship to care for...

This is one of the many relapses I've encountered since then. And I hope this would be the last one. It's awfully hard not being able to trust. This is the one thing that I seem to have lost since you left. I've never been actually able to trust other people for the fear of having the same thing happening to me once again. And I know in time, this would ruin any potential relationship I could have in the future. But then again, I know I could regain that ability to be able to let myself go and place my confidence in other people... I just know I could.

I know it's a one in a million chance that you would get to read this. But I want you to know, even if you have hurt me immensely, I don't want to regret the years I've spent with you. I know you loved me then, even if you love someone else now Anyway,at some point in time, you were mine. I couldn't totally forgive you right now, because I'm still hurting. I wouldn't want to forget this pain, I just want it to dissipate, because with this pain also comes the memories I've had with you, and the lessons I learned along with it. I just hope someday, when we're both ready, even if takes years or so, we could still talk. There maybe are a lot of things to ask forgiveness for, but there are also a number of thinks to thank for. I know I hadn't been perfect, and I acknowledge the fact that I've done you wrong too in the past. For all those things, I apologize.

Despite the pain, in spite of the anger that wells up inside me from time to time, if given the chance to go back in time, I wouldn't dream of skipping out on the day that I met you. Through the hurdles we've had in all the years when we were together, we were once happy. Now, I just have to really come to terms with the fact that we were never really not meant for each other.

I'm thankful for the tears that come whenever I am reminded of you, makes me feel better; makes me realize that I've still got some feelings in my heart to spare-at least for the next, hopefully the last man whom I'm going to love. Them tears, they clear not just your vision, but your mind and heart as well. I shall move forward, but I won't rush it anymore.

It's been two years--long enough for others, but apparently, not for me.

[jnyarop]

Have long have you been together?

If it's just for a few months, that's bullsht.

I would understand it if you were together for few years, heck it should be 5-10 years since you can't get over within 2 years.

[desperada32]

Have long have you been together?

If it's just for a few months, that's bullsht.

I would understand it if you were together for few years, heck it should be 5-10 years since you can't get over within 2 years.

Been together 6 years, we were getting married in a few months then when I found out he was cheating on me... long story short, he chose the other one over me.

[chizmojo]

You can easily get a replacement - go to InP.

[jnyarop]

Been together 6 years, we were getting married in a few months then when I found out he was cheating on me... long story short, he chose the other one over me.

Okay. That sucks. Sad to hear that he didn't choose you. But we had the same experience. Get a rebound?

[desperada32]

Okay. That sucks. Sad to hear that he didn't choose you. But we had the same experience. Get a rebound?

rebound?i did have one actually,briefly, though.then i found out this one was another cheater. Tragic eh? A trail of cheating ex's..

[lovejones]

Hi Desperada. I do feel your pain and it is great you chose to let your grief run its normal course. Don’t feel bad that after 2 years you still haven’t totally moved on because there really is no timetable for healing. What’s important is to be patient with yourself and allow the process to unfold naturally.

Of course, as you may have painfully noticed, healing and forgetting are two different things. It would be the height of folly to think something like this can get deleted from a person’s memory banks. The pain will always remain but hopefully you can get better at managing it so it won’t sting so much and paralyze you in your tracks.

Your thread is actually a good way of expressing your feelings and exorcising the ghosts of your past. The fact that you posted it in an online community instead of directly emailing it to El Cheato only means that what’s important is not the intended receiver receiving it but just getting your message across in the cosmos, like a message in a bottle thrown in an online ocean.

I am part of that ocean, and I heard you.

Ever seen the musical “Sunday at the Park with George?” One of the best I’ve seen and my main man Sondheim wrote it. Anyway, at the climax of the play, the two main characters sang a duet which reaches out to people who are in transition. It goes:

Move on...
Stop worrying where you're going
Move on
If you can go where you're going
You've gone
Just keep moving on

I chose, and my world was shaken…So what?
The choice may have been mistaken, the choosing was not
You have to move on

Hauntingly beautiful, isn’t it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkiSOGIUBEE

Take care of yourself and remember that the best is yet to cum

[desperada32]

I am part of that ocean, and I heard you.

"I chose, and my world was shaken…So what?
The choice may have been mistaken, the choosing was not
You have to move on"[/I]

Take care of yourself and remember that the best is yet to cum

Thank you lovejones... I actually read your post twice, but I was still moved to tears after reading it the second time around. Thank you for hearing me out. I know there are a lot of people out there going through the same thing as I have. It really helps receiving motivation/support even from people you don't know.

[hooney]

love talaga minsan it could give you immeasurable happiness or pain

[jnyarop]

Baby from another man? Just an idea. )

[kooleyt]

Nice one sir

Hi Desperada. I do feel your pain and it is great you chose to let your grief run its normal course. Don’t feel bad that after 2 years you still haven’t totally moved on because there really is no timetable for healing. What’s important is to be patient with yourself and allow the process to unfold naturally.

Of course, as you may have painfully noticed, healing and forgetting are two different things. It would be the height of folly to think something like this can get deleted from a person’s memory banks. The pain will always remain but hopefully you can get better at managing it so it won’t sting so much and paralyze you in your tracks.

Your thread is actually a good way of expressing your feelings and exorcising the ghosts of your past. The fact that you posted it in an online community instead of directly emailing it to El Cheato only means that what’s important is not the intended receiver receiving it but just getting your message across in the cosmos, like a message in a bottle thrown in an online ocean.

I am part of that ocean, and I heard you.

Ever seen the musical “Sunday at the Park with George?” One of the best I’ve seen and my main man Sondheim wrote it. Anyway, at the climax of the play, the two main characters sang a duet which reaches out to people who are in transition. It goes:

Move on...
Stop worrying where you're going
Move on
If you can go where you're going
You've gone
Just keep moving on

I chose, and my world was shaken…So what?
The choice may have been mistaken, the choosing was not
You have to move on

Hauntingly beautiful, isn’t it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkiSOGIUBEE

Take care of yourself and remember that the best is yet to cum

[caffeine_kittie]

desperada, lilipas din yan. di agad-agad pero makaka-ahon ka din dyan. ipagdasal mo lang palagi, eventually things will be ok before you know it. goodluck sa'yo, huwag ka magpapatalo. pray always, God bless

[juanito5354]

you know it's better nga na hindi ikaw ang nakatuluyan nya kasi nagawa ka nga niya lokohin what more kung asawa ka na niya...

pano na lang yung napangasawa niya ngayon malamang niloloko rin, malaki possibility that guy would, baka nakasanayan niya na ang ganon.

marami diyan darating at darating yan you'll see. goodluck.

[Alizarine]

My first relationship lasted 10 months..

and it took me 7 years to move on "completely".

So don't be afraid to cry your heart out every now and then... every person's recovery time is different. You can't rush it. Actually, I think it's not good to think about "recovery", or "forgetting" - those stuff happen naturally. So do the natural stuff you have to do everyday - enjoy what you have, go out with friends. Don't worry, things will become better eventually. Kaya mo yan

[thegreatmind]

Have fun desperada, do everything you want and go with the flow. It's okay to think about it at times but you have to explore other things and be better as what you have said. I did that a couple of years ago and It felt great. But lately. That girl who have hurt me wants to meet up again so I said those things that we could have tried in the past but it is too late even if I have forgiven her in short I said "No chances with you dear, I am sorry". I never like being the rebound guy when she ended her relationship with the other guy. Eventful or coincidental isn't it?

Recently I am seeing someone better but too bad she shut her door completely.

But at least I gave just a 5 % of myself which in my point hurts but it is only a scratch though I can manage compared to the previous as I learned from the past and never dwell on it.

[Voku]

i feel you sir... yesterday was our supposed 2nd anniversary... even 1 year and 3 months na kami ang hirap niyang kalimutan.. she is my everything, she is my 1st love my 1st bestfriend my childhood friend... 1st siya sa lahat hindi ko parin matangap sa sarili ko na may mahal na siyang iba ako eto lugmok parin... kinalimutan na niya ko wala na talaga pilit niyang inaavoid ang conversation with me ayaw na niya ko makausap nor makita..... i still love her... parang yung 5 months na wala na kami ay parang kailan lang

[lemonademouth]

I can relate to you, It also happened to me. Yes i know mahirap.
Pero i tried to be brave because i know that everything will be alright and i don't deserve to be so down. It's so hard at first because i can't believe what happened,Tapos neighbor ko pa siya kaya minsan nakikita ko siya.. naka-dagdag pa yun. tapos wala pa akong maka-usap tungkol sa problema ko, I'm just encouraging my self. (which is hard para sakin)
Hayyy.. everyday wishing He'd be back but it doesn't help. And sooner i realized na He's not worth the tears. looking back, i can say, it made me stronger. umm.. maybe that's the advantage,.

Advice ko lang sayo: Don't force yourself,take time. just learn how to accept what happened. Time heals all wounds they say.
Don't worry, It's not Forever and the pain will eventually go away. Go out, Do what you want as long as it's good for you and others,Go out with friends,surround yourself with family/Good friends. sooner you'll realize that... he's not only you're world

I know you can promise.

[drakku64]

Hi desperada32, good for you it happend 2yrs ago and somehow you're able to move on .. sadly for me.. i'm having the same experience and the pain is just starting to sync to me now since she left me just a month ago .. we've been together for 11yrs and actually live-in together for 5+yrs.. hayzz..

[thegreatmind]

@Voku. move on dude. There is something better for you. Just wait, be patient and pray at times. Prayers to God are answered in direct or indirect ways.

[nowonder]

Been together 6 years, we were getting married in a few months then when I found out he was cheating on me... long story short, he chose the other one over me.

Same experience tayo. Been together for 3 years nga lang kami. And 3 years din bago ako naka-move on. The preparations for the wedding were all set and we got it cancelled 2 weeks before the wedding date just because he chose the other girl over me. That was depressing. But atleast it happened before pa kami ikasal. We should be thankful about that. Kasi kung nangyari yan ng kasal na kami edi ang hirap na kumawala. Ewan ko ba bat ako pumayag sa kasal e ambata bata ko pa nun!

Wag ka magmadali. It really takes time. Just pray. Darating din ang better guy for you. Just enjoy yourself being single. It's fun! Pag 30 y/o ka na tsaka ka mag-panic.