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ito sinasabi sakin ng tatay ko. there are 4 kinds of people in this world:
2. giver and taker - people who take but also give back
most are giver and takers. 3-5% are unconditional givers. 3-5% are unconditional takers. and it's my job to walk away from the unconditional takers dahil walang tigil yan.
eh ikaw TS goodluck po sayo sana malaman mo kung #2 or #3 si gf.
^Kreuk, thank you nga pala, Re: food thread
TS, ang sa akin naman, iba yung mabuti sayo ang partner mo, mahal na mahal ka, at tinalikuran mo, at sumama sa ibang babae, kesa sa tinalikuran mo ang partner mo, dahil sa likod mo pinagtaksilan ka, at niloko pa na ikaw ang ama ng anak niya.
Yes, in time you should forgive the girl, it is not only for her sake, but sabi nga when you forgive, you are setting a prisoner free, and that prisoner was you.
But does it necessarily mean, you should take her back?
Kasama ba kailangan sa pagpapatawad ang hindi mo bigyan ng chance ang sarili mong maging masaya sa piling ng iba na pwedeng magbalik sayo ng pagmamahal at respeto?
Sa situation mo TS, I don't think tinatalikuran mo ang pamilya mo just because, kung mag decide kang mag move on without them..
I also don't think that would make you incapable of loving someone new, and take chances and love them as family of your own. You just need time, for healing, just time.
Walang nakakapagod sa pagmamahal, kung meron kang nakukuha pabalik. Hindi nauubos, kung meron kang nakukuhang kapalit.
I don't believe in loving your partner unconditionally, sa mag-asawa, sa mag partner, It should always be give and take. Hindi pwedeng ikaw na lang ang palaging kukuha, hindi pwedeng ikaw na lang ang palaging magbibigay. Kailangan ng balance.
Well TS, nasa sayo naman ang decision, and ano man ang piliin mo, balikan siya, or not, mag move on with them or without them, it is YOU who would be taking that risk, and may you find your happiness.
Mag-aabang na lang ako ng update, sa mga isasagot niya sayo. Take care!
bait mo kapatid... in your face!
sakin mangyari yan i don't know kung ano magagwa ko...
after 5 years pa pinatagal pa sana pagkalabas pa lang ng baby...
what would the boy think...
all of a sudden mawawala yung bonding nyo mag-ama, ngayon magka-iba na kayo ng bahay...
pahinga ka muna baka mabaliw ka pa kaka-isip...
ginagawa ka na ngang t@nga eh magpapakatanga ka pa rin ba? Hanap ka na lang ng iba tutal bata ka pa naman or magloko ka din haha!
This is effed up.
You lost 5 years of your life taking care of that kid. Imagine the things that could have happened kung hindi kayo natuloy.
If I were in your situation, I'd leave the girl. Niloko ako for so many years, tapos she expects me to work for them? No way. Mawawalan na ako ng trust and respeto sa kanya.
What you could do is start a new life. You seem like you have a nice job naman, nice house. Madali lang humanap ng ibang girl. A prettier, sexier, and younger one to make your own kids with.
If she cheats on you once.... for sure she can do it twice... and so on and so on...
and another man's son? thats another thing... when you look at the face of the child you will see the face of the maker... and that will be _______________________!
My advise? Move, on dont look back to the liars.... let them burn in hell!
Not the End of the World....
wala namang kasalanan yung bata, bakit kailangang nyang magdusa sa kasalanan ng mga magulang nya.
sa tagal niyo na nag sasama di pa kayo nag ka anak, nag ka anak pa kayo nung nag cheat siya.
anong malay mo di ka pala fertile para mag ka anak, gets mo?
blessing in disguise?
mahalin mo yung bata. yung bata lang ha. hehehe. bakit ko nasasabi ito? wala naman kasi siyang kasalanan e. in you wife's case, ang hirap magpatawad. pero if she is really sorry, give time for yourself. hindi madaling magpatawad but it will come.
May question lang ako. Bat di ka muna manigurado? May resemblance ba yung itsura nung bata sayo? Itry mo muna magpa-dna. Lahat subukan mo. Kasi bka sa dulo nagkamali lang ng akala yung babae.
Ts, I commend you because you still love your son even if he's not yours. Sabagay, hindi naman limited sa kadugo mo yung bata or hindi para mahalin mo.
As for the mom, kaya mo ba kalimutan yung ginawa nya and live with her again? Pwede ba yung clean slate kayo?
I hope you'll come up with the right decision.
Honestly i know what hurting_dad really feels right now. Why? Because it also happens to me just this month May 2012. For heavens sake i am maintaining myself to stand up for the sake of my family, even though deep inside me i know i feel suicidal. Hurting_dad and i has a little differences about the situation we encountered. At the moment i got the shocking revelation the first thing that comes to my mind is to get the gun of my dad and shoot myself right away. and i am thankful i never did.
I am 24 year Old,Male i am currently living here in the u.s with my Family. In January 2009 i found out that my girlfriend was pregnant. I was 21 and my girlfriend is 17 at that time.I never think about of the questions like is the baby really mine? I never think about it because at that moment i know that the kid is really mine. Of course the fact that we've had sex for how many times. it never come to my mind those stupid stuffs. okay so there we are we lived together and lived like a real family. At that time i was still in college so i need to finish it. Unfortunately when the time she gave birth to the baby i don't have job still so my dad had been very supportive to me and i thank him so much for that until now. And then Finally i got a pretty good job and was able to support my family (the baby and my girlfriend). Okay so months after of course were living together as a family and i got her pregnant again.?? (i'm not sure about the first baby after later on) so i got her pregnant and okay that was a happy moment again for me. And then finally my dad's petition for us has been approved and were ready to fly to the u.s and stay there together with my dad. but the sad reality is i am not be able to get my kids and my girlfriend coz my dad's petition was just his family meaning his kids and wife. so were very sad. my girfiend cried every night at times getting fast to me to be far away from the. so August 2010 the time i went to u.s and lived here until now.
So here's the saddened part. April 2012 as for curiosity hits me i acquired a software which is able to monitor my girlfriend's laptop and everything what shes doing in front of her computer will register to my own laptop right away i am an I.T graduate so i know all these stuffs. so at first everything was fine until i was able to get her facebook password. And then finally i was able to open her FB account so i red all her messages. This is the very heart squeezing for me she and the guy's cousin had a conversation she saying that i am not the real father of our first baby and she will keep the secret until forever. I don't know what to think at that time all i wanna do is to take my life away from the reality.I wanna explain further to you guys but until now i'm confused about all of this things happening to me.
After more than a month, we had the chance to talk again albeit for a short while. I proceeded to ask her with the questions that I want answers to.
- Why did she do it?
- What prompted her to come clean now?
- How were she able to somehow "bury" that guilt in the 6 years from the pregnancy to now?
She still has no answer to the first question...all she can say is she didn't know then, she doesn't know now. On the second one, she claims that she just can't deal with her conscience anymore (could be somehow brought about by her attending Born Again services in recent months??). On her "burying the guilt" as the years went by...she said that she made herself believed that we are truly a family, especially seeing how much me and our boy are enjoying each other, and it overwhelmed whatever deep-down guilt that she had for what she did...until she decided to come clean nga.
What actually surprised me were not the replies or the way she answered my questions, but how I was so calm throughout the short talk. While I can't help but make snide comments, once in a while while we were talking, I just didn't feel the anger I felt before. Don't get me wrong...I still can't look at her without feeling some sort of disdain. But I didn't really feel that burning anger from deep down anymore.
I have been very busy with work the past weeks that I haven't had the time to get away and really reflect. That is both good and bad in itself. And while I did not amiss on making sure to be present still for my son at least 3x a week, especially on weekends, I have to admit, am slowly getting used to being on my own. Could I have crossed over from denial to acceptance already?
Last edited by Hurting_Dad; May 16, 2012 at 06:15 PM.