Marriage Counseling Bago Kasal ... Ito ba kailangan?

[popsky]

^^ it seems like you've gone through pre-marriage counselling but your marriage still failed... ???

the way i see it, those counsellings are like college education....puro theories. but once you graduate, it is still an entirely different thing.
welcome to the real world...

once already married, iba pa rin kung naeexperience mo na talaga ang situation, rather than just talking about it.

Nope. Hindi pa ako married.

Simple lang naman ang tanong, bakit noon na hindi uso yan ay mas maliit ang bilang ng naghihiwalay? Kung ang counselling ay ginawa sa panahon ng may problema na ang magasawa, aakma ang solusyon sa problema.

[may2]

@popsky

Hindi natin pwedeng gawing batayan ang marriage counselling as factor in failed marriages.

Few people though just proceed with marriage and did not undergo marriage counselling. Unlike now, there is an awareness of marriage counselling. They think of it as a waste of time, but they never gave importance to its value.

[purpleheadd07]

Counseling before marriage? Hindi mada-digest ng dalwang tao yun, ni wala pa silang nakakaharap ng matinding problema.

if you're talking about the pre-cana/marriage counseling na requried sa church i think parang final validation lang ito na handa na talaga kayo and you enter the sacrament of marriage in your own will.

hanggang dun lang (i think) ang task nila. well siyempre ang pagsasama is just between the couple, kung paano nila iwo-work out ito. of course, di naman mafo-foresee ng councilor ang mangyayari in the long run di ba?

meron din yang longer sessions which is optional na, may discovery weekend, meron ding several sessions ang pwedeng i undergo depende na sa choice ng couple.

marriage counseling within marriage, or kung kelan mag asawa na nga and in case may conflicts ay interventions lang. mga support system yan sila, they could give you some guidelines, they can help you process your feelings for each other or whatever situation you are in.

it doesn't work for everybody kasi depende lang kung gaano ka receptive ang couple. kung closed minded kayo at sa tingin niyo hindi ito makakatulong aba eh, hindi talaga makakatulong.

and it's not a one-time session, process yan. magtutulungan kayong mag asawa at ng councilor kung paano ma solve anuman ang issues niyo.

[purpleheadd07]

may2, noong hindi pa uso ang counselling mas mababa ang bilang ng naghihiwalay. Ngayon na may ganyan na mas maraming naghihiwalay, at ang hiwalayan ay mabilis, minsan 1year pa lang nagsasama ay hiwalay na.

Mananatili ako sa posisyon ko, hindi nila natutumbok o ayaw nila aminin ang totoong ugat ng hiwalayan.

Kailan ka ba nakarinig ng counselling na nagsimula sa pag-alam sa background at family orientation ng bawat indibidwal? Wala. Generic at shot gun approach lang lagi.

there's such a thing as genogram analysis, ida-draw niyo ang family tree niyo, may mga histories, traits, etc tapos i interpret ng councilor. pwede niyong i avail yang ganyan sa seminar, pero optional na iyan.

well, yang pre-cana councilors are not matchmakers, nagpunta kayo sa kanya kasi feel niyo match kayo at compatible kayo. paki ba niya kung in the long run magkasawaan at mag away kayo, di naman siya manghuhula.

mukhang matindi pinagdaanan ni popsky, i two botts na iyan!

[michymichymoo]

is this different from the psychological counseling?
Sorry I really don't have any idea.

Going through counseling before marriage doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. It's just that both of you are sure that you're doing the right thing.

At mahal ang annulment ah.

[popsky]

mukhang matindi pinagdaanan ni popsky, i two botts na iyan!

Purps, hindi ko pa naman napagdaanan yan.


Tara, tubatels!

[Aling Menggay]

Going to counseling be it marriage or pre nuptial counseling or however you may wanna call it, doesn't imply solutions nor couples " kakulangan" .

These only applies to both parties if they are open and agreeable to the idea.

These does not apply to skeptics , it'll just be a waste of their time.

[Resilience]

Marriage is overated. Dapat contractual renewable every 6 years

Di lhat ng tao ganyan ang pov sa marriage.

Before me and my husband get married, we underwent pre marital counseling. In explain ng pastor kung ano ang significance ng marriage, ano yung challenges na involve, everything about marriage and kung gaano na kami katagal mag boyfriend at kung pano niya ko niligawan.

It helps para mas magkaidea ka about sa life na papasukin mo. Well, wala naman sigurong ubod talino para malaman ang lahat ng bagay

[mimiwko1]

yes

for them to realize that God must be the center of their relationship!

[Aling Menggay]

It seems to some marriage is just a piece of paper that both parties can sign in front of both parents and friends ,have a grand party , dress up elegantly to be done & over with and when it turns sour find a good legal reason for annulment.

When things goes sour .... one thinks how to get even with the the other.... coz it hurts... pride and trust has been compromised.

Does anyone actually think what is the meaning of marriage. Bakit tayo nag papakasal? Because it's a tradition that we must follow?

[pushpop]

At mahal ang annulment ah.

bukod sa mahal, napaka kumplikado pa ng proseso at emotionally draining din

[pushpop]

Going to counseling be it marriage or pre nuptial counseling or however you may wanna call it, doesn't imply solutions nor couples " kakulangan" .

These only applies to both parties if they are open and agreeable to the idea.

These does not apply to skeptics , it'll just be a waste of their time.

Before I decide whether I want to get married or not, I'd have to attend those sessions first.

[Aling Menggay]

Before I decide whether I want to get married or not, I'd have to attend those sessions first.

And make sure that the person go with to these session believes in the idea if not at least is open to the idea 'coz in any relationship it always takes two to make it work. A good foundation will ultimately pays off that no amount of hitch and barriers can snag the stability of the foundation you have started.

GOOD LUCK .......

[lyts07]

if you were to ask me regarding this topic: I'm a married man for 2 years now we been to those process ika nga madaming tanong, maraming dapat malaman regarding your future partner before the wedding day.

At first sympre maitatanong mo sa sarili mo bakit mo ba talaga dumaan sa marriage counseling katulad nyo sinabi ko rin sa sarili ko "Puro naman walang katuturan ang sinasabi nila at sa huli pa rin ang magdadala ay kayong dalawang magasawa" pero looking back napansin ko it helps me a lot to be well communicated with my wife. My mga advice na nakatulong and talagang nakakapagenligthen sa buhay may asawa. Iba na kasi ang ginagalawan natin may mga asawa. May mga part na pwede mong gawin nung single ka pa at may mga part na hindi mo na maaring gawin kapag married kana specially kung may anak na kayo (sa case ko wala pa kaming baby still waiting for the blessing from above).

If you were planning your wedding this process is a must, getting to know your partner not only in your relationship days/months/years but his personality, perspective for your family, your dreams, goals should be in sync. That is a good foundation of having a nurtured family. Hindi rin kasi ako naniniwala na normal sa lalake ang nangangaliwa. Don't get offended but one of our counselor said if there is missing in your life your going to look for it and when you found it your going to grab it. Pero if there is emptiness both of you can fill up those emptiness cause your working hand in hand to cover up those problems in life.

To those who are planning their wedding Best Wishes and welcome to reality of life....

Lyts07

[juanito5354]

going 9 years of being married.

no brutal fights, scandal or whatever "tampuhan oo siya lang madalas"

no marriage/pre nup counselling kasi sa huwes lang kami planning next year sa church.

napagdaanan na any sort of problems sakit (lalo sa mga bata), both of us naging unemployed for about 6mos with 2 kids to feed, financial (madalas), issues with parents/relatives (hindi naman mawawala), at iba pa...

ok din magmarriage counselling PERO kung ang magcocounsel lang samin e wala pang-alam (masabi lang na marriage counselor) at idadaan lang kami sa puro dasal maghapon teka uuwian namin siya or will request sa mas senior na marami ng pinagdaanan sa tunay na buhay baka ako pa magcounsel sa kanila.

for me and my wife trust and respect lang.