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  1. #1

    Discipline in Pinoy Families

    Feeling ko lang minsan parang walang boundary sa pagdidisiplina sa nakakabatang anak o kapatid. Parang inaagawan ng role ang Diyos. Pati personal na progress kayang isantabi para turuan ng liksyon yung may mali. Masyado mataas ang pressure to the point na masisiraan ka ng ulo at magigipit ka. O ako lang ba ang ganon ang perception?

    Marami daw nagsu-suicide sa China dahil sa family pressure and I can kinda relate. Nagloloko na lang ako kapag wala sila at actually kahit alam nila just to rebel at medyo weird at walang sense pero it's also my way of conveying wag masyado aggressive at tense ang style.

    Meron bang mas malalang style?

  2. #2
    yung aunt ko, nung nakitang may kaholding hands yung pinsan ko sa kalye, kinaladkad pauwi ng bahay at kinalbo. She was studying at Sienna College that time.

  3. #3
    first time niya bang maparusa ng ganon? kumusta naman siya, lumaki bang mabait na bata?

  4. #4
    I think I'm in love...again
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    P.I.
    Ibang klase ang discipline ng Pinoy parents sa mga anak...EXTREME! Kung hindi masyadong Physically BRUTAL...walang disiplina at all.

  5. #5
    mahigpit magulang ko, lalo na yung tatay ko. lol ultimo pagpunta sa prom, swimming kasama ng mga pinsan ko (kahit kasama tita ko), pati sa paggamit ng cellphone. pero sa kapatid ko sobrang luwag nila.

    pero once nakapagtrabaho na ako, ayun...i tell them to let me be. paano ako matututo kung palaging kinokontrol ang galaw ko.

  6. #6
    Ano ba talaga ate? Disiplina sa mga pamilyang Pinoy o pamilya sa China tinutukoy mo?

    Quote Originally Posted by birdy90 View Post
    Feeling ko lang minsan parang walang boundary sa pagdidisiplina sa nakakabatang anak o kapatid. Parang inaagawan ng role ang Diyos. Pati personal na progress kayang isantabi para turuan ng liksyon yung may mali. Masyado mataas ang pressure to the point na masisiraan ka ng ulo at magigipit ka. O ako lang ba ang ganon ang perception?

    Marami daw nagsu-suicide sa China dahil sa family pressure and I can kinda relate. Nagloloko na lang ako kapag wala sila at actually kahit alam nila just to rebel at medyo weird at walang sense pero it's also my way of conveying wag masyado aggressive at tense ang style.

    Meron bang mas malalang style?

    Tsaka paano inaagawan ang Diyos ng role sa pagdidisiplina? Pag Diyos ang nag disiplina sigurado mas marahas. Either magiging haligi na asin (pillar of salt) yan or any of the ten plagues brought upon Egypt.
    Last edited by Papichulo168; Feb 26, 2012 at 01:05 PM.

  7. #7
    I can speak for our family, we have it.

    So, what are you really trying to attain here?

    Your points are looping and all over the place.

  8. #8
    oo nga noh. sana kasi inenglish ko na lang. di bale next time...

    yabang

    sorry bangag ako kanina. yung about sa china, ang sinasabi kasi pinakamatindi ang chinese parents sa pag-disiplina. meron ako nabasa sa magazine na nawalan siya ng mana dahil nagpa-eyelid surgery siya. pero actually hindi naman iba sa pinoy di ba?

    meron yung mina-manipulate in epic proportion ang situation/fate ng tao para turuan ng liksyon like patitikman ng hirap para matuto. hindi ba parang inaagawan ng papel ang Ama? bakit di nila hayaang Siya ang mag-parusa di ba?

    naranasan ko din naman yung sobrang strikto. laging insulto, guilt trip o kaya physical assault ang katapat konting mali sa sinabi o ginawa. parents ko nung pagdating sa akin retire na sa pamamalo kaya parang ipinasa yung ganong trabaho sa kapatid ko pero medyo OA siya. meron pang threat na irerevoke ang visa ko kapag sumagot pa ko o sumigaw at umiyak ng malakas. i know it sounds juvenile pero stressor sa akin yon.

    actually meron pang mas grabeng example pero saka na lang pag negative ako ulit. bangag mode muna ulit!

  9. #9
    Born to be Happy OmmMara's Avatar
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    Jan 2012
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    Grabe nga siguro ang pressure ng anak ni Myriam Santiago para mag suicide.

    Lucky kami ng kapatid ko sa parents ko, hindi sila military style, pero hindi din naman maluwag.

    Mahigpit lang sila hanggang makatapos kami ng college, right after, bahala ka sa buhay mo You can do anything you want, just be responsible. Yun lang ang palaging sinasabi sa amin.

    Sa grades sa school, hindi naman nila kami naging problema, kaya hindi ko naranasan kung paano sila magalit kapag may bagsak na grado


    May friend ako nung college, sobrang higpit yung parents niya, sundo at hatid siya kahit college na siya, bawal ligawan, bawal lumabas ng bahay kung hindi rin lang school hours...

    Ayun, nabuntis ng maaga, hiwalay na ngayon sa asawa. Nung huli kaming nagkausap, hindi na daw mahigpit sa kanya ang tatay niya.

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by birdy90 View Post
    first time niya bang maparusa ng ganon? kumusta naman siya, lumaki bang mabait na bata?
    i dunno if it was the first time, but i guess that's the worst I've heard. strict kasi yung family nila. they went bankrupt late 80s, after finishing college, she went abroad and she supported her family, pinatapos niya yung 3 siblings niya on her own. i look up to her because of her being strong.

    yung disiplina ng pamilyang filipino, kahit sukdulan, it turns out to be effective.

  11. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by birdy90 View Post
    Feeling ko lang minsan parang walang boundary sa pagdidisiplina sa nakakabatang anak o kapatid. Parang inaagawan ng role ang Diyos. Pati personal na progress kayang isantabi para turuan ng liksyon yung may mali. Masyado mataas ang pressure to the point na masisiraan ka ng ulo at magigipit ka. O ako lang ba ang ganon ang perception?

    Marami daw nagsu-suicide sa China dahil sa family pressure and I can kinda relate. Nagloloko na lang ako kapag wala sila at actually kahit alam nila just to rebel at medyo weird at walang sense pero it's also my way of conveying wag masyado aggressive at tense ang style.

    Meron bang mas malalang style?
    Ano ba ang pagdidisiplina na ginagawa? You have to be specific. When I was a kid, my mom used to spank me and was also verbally abusive. I catch myself doing the same verbal abuse to my son sometimes. I try hard not to do the same thing to him, because I don't want him to grow up with the emotional scars like I do.

  12. #12

    "Filipino Discipline" builts generation of followers

    - Wag mag sasalita sa usapan ng matatanda, wag sasagot sa nakakatanda, wag mangangatwiran sa nakakatanda. In my opinion, these values have a really great impact on our generation's esteem. Most Filipinos are shy and have great social dificulties because of these teachings. Para sa akin mali ito dahil dapat imbes na pag bawalan tayong i-express ang nasa kalooban natin, ay i-encourage nila tayong mag salita upang ma-itama nila ang mga mali sa ating pag i-isip. Paano nila malalaman kung tama o mali ang ating nasa kinalolooban kung hindi nila tayo pakikingan? Ngayon parents na ako at itong mga teachings na ito ang pilit kong iniiwasan na ipamahagi sa aking anak. Lagi ko siyang ini-encourage na i-express ang nasa kalooban nya, na ma negotiate nya ng maayos ang position niya. Kahit na sa usapan pa ng matatanda tinatanong ko sya ng opinion nya (He is 4 years old). Sa ganitong paraan natututo siyang mag reason at makinig. I don't want my child to grow up thinking that all of his ideas are worthless like how I used to think of my self when I was young. Like what most of us filipinos in this generation thinks that everyone is better than us. Walang self esteem.

    - Ang pag sigaw at pamamalo!! isa pa ito sa mga values nating pinoy na sa opinion ko dapat nating iwasan. Dapat turuan natin ang mga anak natin na maging responsible sa consequences ng mga action nila imbes na paluin natin at sigawan pag nag kamali sila. Dapat ipaliwanag natin sa kanila kung bakit at paano sila nag kamali at pabayaan natin silang maging responsible sa anumang consequence nang nagawa nilang pag kakamali. Of course kailangan din natin silang tulungan na maitama ang kanilang pag kakamali. For example laging nakakalat ang kanilang laruan, imbes na paluin at sigawan ang ginagawa ko ay tinatapon ko sa basurahan at pinapaliwanag ko sa kanya na kailangan nyiang sinupin ang kanyang mga laruan kung gusto niya itong mag tagal. Like this natututo siyang maging responsible sa mga belongings niya na hindi siya nag kakaroon ng tanim na galit at ano mang psychological effect. O kaya naman hindi ko siya pinababayaang mag laro ng playstation niya hanggat hindi niya sinisinop ang mga gamit niya. Cause and Effect!!! Subukan niyong tanungin ang mga bata nyayon kung bakit nila hindi ginagawa ang mali, I am so sure na ang isasagut nila sa inyo ay dahil papaluin sila ng nanay at tatay. Hindi ba ang samang pakinggan? Dapat isagot nila sa inyo ay ang tunay na dahilan kung bakit iwasang gawin ang mga bagay na mali at hindi ang dahil sa palo ni nanay o tatay. Paano kung wala si nanay at tatay? puwede nang gumawa ng mali? Dahil wala ng papalo? Which in my observation, and based on my experience , are things that are actually happening in our generations. Pag wala na ang parents para ng wild animals.

  13. #13

  14. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by goat1230 View Post
    you dont blame your parents because you dont have money right now. that's immature. in other countries, kids dont have the luxury to go to college so consider yourself lucky.

  15. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by goat1230 View Post

    Isa pa yan sa mga nakita kong maling naituro sa atin. Na sa lahat ba ng desicion natin kailangan involve ang pera? I agree na we all live in poverty kaya mahalaga talaga ang pera pero I also believe na kung masaya tayo sa ating profession mas magiging productive tayo and in return yung quality ng work natin magiging first class and in return, of course, mas malaki ang kikitain natin dahil marami kukuha sa atin para sa mga project..

  16. #16
    Quote Originally Posted by luks7210 View Post
    you dont blame your parents because you dont have money right now. that's immature. in other countries, kids dont have the luxury to go to college so consider yourself lucky.
    i don't blame them, Im just proving a point. don't get me wrong.. I blame my own financial illiteracy for that.

    I cite that part of my story just an example.. that I don't understand their way of discipline. and they didn't bother explaining why they don't want me to write in the first place.


    oh yeah, I consider myself lucky for even having a god-fearing parent in the first place.. and for how our family had endured a lot of hard times and yet we are still a family.

  17. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by goat1230 View Post
    i don't blame them, Im just proving a point. don't get me wrong.. I blame my own financial illiteracy for that.

    I cite that part of my story just an example.. that I don't understand their way of discipline. and they didn't bother explaining why they don't want me to write in the first place.


    oh yeah, I consider myself lucky for even having a god-fearing parent in the first place.. and for how our family had endured a lot of hard times and yet we are still a family.
    Judging from the way you write, maybe you should've actually taken up Medicine.

  18. #18
    In our family, the pressure is on our hs/college grades if you get high grades you get all the luxuries and attentions you want otherwise you get a snob. All my cousins maintained high grades so I have to do it as well.

    Pamamalo at paninigaw sa mga anak we consider that immoral and barbaric.

  19. #19
    I think I'm in love...again
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    P.I.
    Quote Originally Posted by sledge2136 View Post
    - Wag mag sasalita sa usapan ng matatanda, wag sasagot sa nakakatanda, wag mangangatwiran sa nakakatanda. In my opinion, these values have a really great impact on our generation's esteem. Most Filipinos are shy and have great social dificulties because of these teachings. Para sa akin mali ito dahil dapat imbes na pag bawalan tayong i-express ang nasa kalooban natin, ay i-encourage nila tayong mag salita upang ma-itama nila ang mga mali sa ating pag i-isip. Paano nila malalaman kung tama o mali ang ating nasa kinalolooban kung hindi nila tayo pakikingan? Ngayon parents na ako at itong mga teachings na ito ang pilit kong iniiwasan na ipamahagi sa aking anak. Lagi ko siyang ini-encourage na i-express ang nasa kalooban nya, na ma negotiate nya ng maayos ang position niya. Kahit na sa usapan pa ng matatanda tinatanong ko sya ng opinion nya (He is 4 years old). Sa ganitong paraan natututo siyang mag reason at makinig. I don't want my child to grow up thinking that all of his ideas are worthless like how I used to think of my self when I was young. Like what most of us filipinos in this generation thinks that everyone is better than us. Walang self esteem.

    - Ang pag sigaw at pamamalo!! isa pa ito sa mga values nating pinoy na sa opinion ko dapat nating iwasan. Dapat turuan natin ang mga anak natin na maging responsible sa consequences ng mga action nila imbes na paluin natin at sigawan pag nag kamali sila. Dapat ipaliwanag natin sa kanila kung bakit at paano sila nag kamali at pabayaan natin silang maging responsible sa anumang consequence nang nagawa nilang pag kakamali. Of course kailangan din natin silang tulungan na maitama ang kanilang pag kakamali. For example laging nakakalat ang kanilang laruan, imbes na paluin at sigawan ang ginagawa ko ay tinatapon ko sa basurahan at pinapaliwanag ko sa kanya na kailangan nyiang sinupin ang kanyang mga laruan kung gusto niya itong mag tagal. Like this natututo siyang maging responsible sa mga belongings niya na hindi siya nag kakaroon ng tanim na galit at ano mang psychological effect. O kaya naman hindi ko siya pinababayaang mag laro ng playstation niya hanggat hindi niya sinisinop ang mga gamit niya. Cause and Effect!!! Subukan niyong tanungin ang mga bata nyayon kung bakit nila hindi ginagawa ang mali, I am so sure na ang isasagut nila sa inyo ay dahil papaluin sila ng nanay at tatay. Hindi ba ang samang pakinggan? Dapat isagot nila sa inyo ay ang tunay na dahilan kung bakit iwasang gawin ang mga bagay na mali at hindi ang dahil sa palo ni nanay o tatay. Paano kung wala si nanay at tatay? puwede nang gumawa ng mali? Dahil wala ng papalo? Which in my observation, and based on my experience , are things that are actually happening in our generations. Pag wala na ang parents para ng wild animals.

    Quote Originally Posted by jpdmnaOS6 View Post
    In our family, the pressure is on our hs/college grades if you get high grades you get all the luxuries and attentions you want otherwise you get a snob. All my cousins maintained high grades so I have to do it as well.

    Pamamalo at paninigaw sa mga anak we consider that immoral and barbaric.
    This is what I meant by being Physically brutal...Filipino parents are just too authoritative...they don't like talking and explaining certain things to their kids in an educated manner or adult way. Feeling kasi nila "mang-mang" ang mga bata at hindi nakakaintindi. Kaya as a result nagkakaroon ng inferiority complex ang mga bata o kaya rebelde hangga't sa paglaki. Yung iba kahit may sariling family na..."batotoy" pa rin kasi nga...puros bawal ganito bawal ganun.

  20. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by Papichulo168 View Post
    Judging from the way you write, maybe you should've actually taken up Medicine.
    I can be whoever I want to be when I write,, so as others

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