i need advice and not judgement

[love_always]

oh that's so sad :-(

but what the hell. if he doesn't want you then fine. you know what you have naman! goodluck girl!

tama..thanks.havent really gave up 100% pero 95% yes..ready na to start though

[Romanticure]

tama..thanks.havent really gave up 100% pero 95% yes..ready na to start though

ibigay mo na kasi 100% mo! bumitaw ka na, maaapektuhan na yung family side mo at lalung lalu na sa anak mo. open your mind, close your heart!

[Zeitgeist699]

@TS: you just realize how wrong your relationship was even before you got married. give yourself credit that you've tried to work the relationship out for a long time. i would advise you however, that instead of having an extramarital affairs which can have legal implications, try to have a separation agreement with your husband. im not saying that you do it right away. try to do it little by little. first, if you're a plain housewife try to get a job and so you'll be independent from your husband. then try to move out of the house, get some arrangement on how you take care of your kids with him. then try talking about separation agreement since annulment is expensive. if you want to find love do it discreetly until the agreement is finalized or until your husband also has a new partner. my point here is, there's no reason why you should stay in your relationship if you only make each other's life miserable. just be sensitive with the kids.

[love_always]

@TS: you just realize how wrong your relationship was even before you got married. give yourself credit that you've tried to work the relationship out for a long time. i would advise you however, that instead of having an extramarital affairs which can have legal implications, try to have a separation agreement with your husband. im not saying that you do it right away. try to do it little by little. first, if you're a plain housewife try to get a job and so you'll be independent from your husband. then try to move out of the house, get some arrangement on how you take care of your kids with him. then try talking about separation agreement since annulment is expensive. if you want to find love do it discreetly until the agreement is finalized or until your husband also has a new partner. my point here is, there's no reason why you should stay in your relationship if you only make each other's life miserable. just be sensitive with the kids.

I guess i akready done the having a job. we live separately na rin.. it just the agreement ang hindi pa kasi hindi ko pa kayang marinig na tapos na talaga. Im living as if may chance pa, and this is just one big fight..sooner or later,gusto ko lang naman malaman if he is just really letting me go. and yes i want it in words, not just in action. and sometimes, action speak louder than word, mas gusto ko prin marinig

[Erning]

Hi there, I've been in your situation before and it really sucks not knowing kung saan ka lulugar. He doesn't express or show that he still loves you but he also doesnt want to let you go.
Why should you wait for him to make the decision? You already did your part and it's unfair that you suffer just because of his selfishness.

[enaej426]

I guess i akready done the having a job. we live separately na rin.. it just the agreement ang hindi pa kasi hindi ko pa kayang marinig na tapos na talaga. Im living as if may chance pa, and this is just one big fight..sooner or later,gusto ko lang naman malaman if he is just really letting me go. and yes i want it in words, not just in action. and sometimes, action speak louder than word, mas gusto ko prin marinig

TS , mahirap talaga and it really takes time to accept the reality na wala na kayo . Been there done that. Prove to yourself na you can do it on your own , that you deserve better . Don't show him that you're weak and you're nothing without him, make him eat his ego . Kaya mo yan. Wag mo iexpect yung words na yan because hindi sila wired sa pagsasalita , more sa actions sila. Move on , take care of yourself and your kids and in time let him see and feel sorry na binitawan ka niya.

[love_always]

waaaah. guys, ang daling sabihin ang hirap gawin..im trying to be strong and im trying my best not to communicate not unless important.even my kid is starting to ask, why iniwan kami.. even had an argument with another kid kasi sabi wala dw syang daddy.. but deep in my heart im still hopeful..pero im somehow making my self better and stronger. as for having any affair, wala naman talagang ganun kaworth it to risk it all.. kaya anak muna at puro just making friends..pero someday il be completely happy, one way or another..il work on being happy kahit wala sya, para kung bumalik man sya, he's just an additional happiness.sorry guys di ko talaga mawala sa system ko ang maghope..

[shoelace]

teka, sh*t, i'm also in the same d@mn predicament. i want to read every single post here, haha. i'll compose my real reply after i've read the posts.

onT: @TS, i admire you for doing something about the issue; that you are doing things to make yourself better, to be more confident, and to seek happiness, as opposed to taking the easy route of resignation, accepting things as they are, as if inevitable and just need to be dealt with, miserably. it truly affects self-esteem when one has issues like this at home

--
alright, i read the rest of the posts. it appears that the issue has already been resolved. i hope things go well for you from now on

[love_always]

teka, sh*t, i'm also in the same d@mn predicament. i want to read every single post here, haha. i'll compose my real reply after i've read the posts.

onT: @TS, i admire you for doing something about the issue; that you are doing things to make yourself better, to be more confident, and to seek happiness, as opposed to taking the easy route of resignation, accepting things as they are, as if inevitable and just need to be dealt with, miserably. it truly affects self-esteem when one has issues like this at home

--
alright, i read the rest of the posts. it appears that the issue has already been resolved. i hope things go well for you from now on

i do hope the same.pero i dont its resolved na
waaahh

[enaej426]

TS , it takes a loong time to recover and move on , don't worry dadating ka din jan. Based on my experience , it took me almost 3 years to really say that I'm over it, and during those times of struggles nakakapraning , especially pag nakikita ko yung anak ko , they remind me of my ex , ang hirap kaya . That's why you really have to " Keep Moving Forward " , stay Focus on "Moving On" , wag mo ng isipin or balikan yung mga memories kasi it will hold you back at lalo kang lang mahihirapan. Life goes on girl. You can do it .

[kleenexlambot]

i know its easier said than done, but no point looking back now...tapos na po...so all you can do is look forward to meeting new opportunities for you. may kilala ako ganyan naghiwalay din, pero she met this guy (an american) who accepted her (gosh, dami naman ganitong case) and she's happier now with new hubby in the US who also adopted her son. oh btw, annuled na sila nung ex.

[kleenexlambot]

waaaah. guys, ang daling sabihin ang hirap gawin..im trying to be strong and im trying my best not to communicate not unless important.even my kid is starting to ask, why iniwan kami.. even had an argument with another kid kasi sabi wala dw syang daddy.. but deep in my heart im still hopeful..pero im somehow making my self better and stronger. as for having any affair, wala naman talagang ganun kaworth it to risk it all.. kaya anak muna at puro just making friends..pero someday il be completely happy, one way or another..il work on being happy kahit wala sya, para kung bumalik man sya, he's just an additional happiness.sorry guys di ko talaga mawala sa system ko ang maghope..

iniwan kayo ng anak mo...pano mo nagagawa na mahalin pa siya at mag "hope" na babalikan kayo? denial mode tawag diyan teh. anyway, keep on making new friends at baka mabago ang ihip ng hangin -- next time youll say to us "buti na lang hindi bumalik".

lalake lang yan , dami dyan and thats the reality!

[kleenexlambot]

TS , it takes a loong time to recover and move on , don't worry dadating ka din jan. Based on my experience , it took me almost 3 years to really say that I'm over it, and during those times of struggles nakakapraning , especially pag nakikita ko yung anak ko , they remind me of my ex , ang hirap kaya . That's why you really have to " Keep Moving Forward " , stay Focus on "Moving On" , wag mo ng isipin or balikan yung mga memories kasi it will hold you back at lalo kang lang mahihirapan. Life goes on girl. You can do it .

3 years is freakin long. nagtago ka ba sa bundok? what made it that long btw?

[love_always]

thanks enaej and kleenex.. ako din baka abutin ng syam syam,kasi tuwing dadalaw sya sa bahay, umiiyak ako..hoping na sana umuwi na sya for good...at kahit someone is showing great interest, at great din namn, i just cant drop the ball for my husband..im somehow putting time frame..pero hindi ko rin pinag iisip,kasi baka mapraning din ako.. feeling ko, andun na ko sa bargaining stage, na kahit un lang ang binibigay, inaapreciate o, kahit para sa iba, katangahan na..hehe..sana if il go in depression stage, may sasalo sakin,kasi suicidal ako e.hehe..pero di ko sya naiisip due of my son..

[kleenexlambot]

TS, i feel for you..pero...

ano bang klaseng lalake yan umalis na pero dalaw dalaw pa din. anong klaseng lalake na wala ng bay@g pero ang kapal pa ng mukha at dedma pa sa pakiramdam mo. selfish ang lalaking yan TS! at dahil selfish, habampanahon na kalbaryo yan.

kung mukha gusto nya makita anak nya, ayusin muna nya ang sitwasyon...hiwalay kung hiwalay, visitation kung visitation, hindi yung ikaw ang nabibitin sa ere at sha ay nag e enjoy sa status nya na free as a bird.

anyway TS, baka naman 3 years ang time frame mo? bawat taon na lumilipas tumatanda ka at bumabagsak ang market value. tandaan mo ang mga lalaki pag umaalis, malabong bumalik yan.

[kleenexlambot]

thanks enaej and kleenex.. ako din baka abutin ng syam syam,kasi tuwing dadalaw sya sa bahay, umiiyak ako..hoping na sana umuwi na sya for good...at kahit someone is showing great interest, at great din namn, i just cant drop the ball for my husband..im somehow putting time frame..pero hindi ko rin pinag iisip,kasi baka mapraning din ako.. feeling ko, andun na ko sa bargaining stage, na kahit un lang ang binibigay, inaapreciate o, kahit para sa iba, katangahan na..hehe..sana if il go in depression stage, may sasalo sakin,kasi suicidal ako e.hehe..pero di ko sya naiisip due of my son..

ma drama ka din TS, "suicide", "depression" sa lalaking ni reject kayo ng anak mo? bargaining at kahit ano na lang ibigay happy ka na?? hello?

move on, magpaganda ka at maghanap ng matinong tatay sa anak mo or you will be creating a lifetime drama for your son

[love_always]

i like you kleenex.hahaha.il be happy to meet u up.hahaha.. yes, as u said it.he's selfish..enjoying being free while im left working for my kid and getting my kid happy and prep evryday.. tapos un sustensto, no definite time..wel, i hope na hindi 3 years..at sana nga may totoong guy can catch up for me.. as for magpaganda, well, no more an issue, im grooming my self each day,kahit stress..consolation ko sa srili ko..

[love_always]

i just looked at one of the girl "he flirted" with (atleast as to what it seems from chat 3months ago), at grabe, wala man lang ganun ka big deaal bout her, making me feel so really bad and angry..gagawin kong screensave un pic ng girl,para nd ko na maisip na balikan pa sya..hahha..magpapalalandi lang, sa nasasawan pa ng bayan..

[Lusty_chique]

i just looked at one of the girl "he flirted" with (atleast as to what it seems from chat 3months ago), at grabe, wala man lang ganun ka big deaal bout her, making me feel so really bad and angry..gagawin kong screensave un pic ng girl,para nd ko na maisip na balikan pa sya..hahha..magpapalalandi lang, sa nasasawan pa ng bayan..

I think wala sa itsura yan teh! Most of the time, yung mga nagiging 3rd party, usually opposite sa tunay na asawa yung pag uugali lalo na ang pagmumukha. Yung iba ubod pa nga ng panget eh.. but why???

Coz there must be something in that person, regardless of how you or other people may think otherwise, na nakita niya dun, something that he needs na hindi niya nakita/naramdaman/ nakuha sayo kahit pa naging "ideal" wife ka sa kanya.

Since you claimed you've already done everything to save your marriage, or to make your hubby love you, appreciate you and all, tapos wala pa ring nangyari to the point na iniwan na nga kayo, then continue moving on...

Realize and inculcate that in your mind and heart that you're not the person he wants, needs, then get over it coz you deserve better!

[love_always]

^^mix emotion with this...ouch pero tama naman..i deserve better,but i dont think there is such pa.hehe..everything and everyone is almost the same level.we all come and go..anyway, thanks..saka ang dami kasing babae na possible,nd lang un.anyway,let bygone be bygone