i need advice and not judgement

[love_always]

TS wag kang magagalit sa tanung ko ha... Siya lang ba talaga ang dahilan kung bakit kayo nagkakaganyan? Bago ba kayo magpakasal eh ganyan na ang ugali niya?

Sa tingin mo ba bakit siya nagbago sayo? Kase lahat yata ng naikwento mo dito puro siya ang may mali...

what do u mean by sya lang ba talaga? as i have told in the past answer, di po ako perfecto, in the early stage of marriage, control freak ako kasi, hindi sya nagpapaalam kapag umaalis. kahit kabwanan ko na, mas inuuna nya pa nya makipag inuman. kung sinu ang kasama hindi ko alam.. hindi naman araw arw pero madalas, ganun. kaya wala akong trust, kasi bigla na lang syang nawawal, so very control freak ako sa mga kausap nya at pinupuntahan nya ksi *** talaga akong idea, asan sya. bago nagpakasal hindi na talag sya mahilig magparamdam. hindi talaga sweet type, pero mag kaiba na kasi un hindi lang sweet sa bastos na..

un pagiging control freak ang pinaka mali ko, i dont deny that pero ini improve ko un, until now.. kung ayaw nya magtext pauwi, kung ayaw nya maglove u, at minsan kahit sinu pang kausp nya, hindi ko na talaga pinapakilaman..para lang hindi mag-away pero wala naman cgurong mali kung sumama ang loob ko kung ganun ang ginagaw nya.. bilang mag-asaw, he stop trying to make us happy kasi. as a father, ok nmn.average naman.. kasi nga kahati namin un laro s computer.

[F-A Soldier]

Usually when people say "don't judge me" they just want to hear what they want to hear. If you want an advice open yourself to replies, and always pass the criticism around including yourself.

But to reply, well, your learned a lesson. Like a wise man said something that starts wrong almost never gets right.

As for cheating, look if you want to find love to substitute what you can't from your husband, do it the right way. In the end your just gonna complicate your life and you're just gonna end up spiraling downward...like Mr. Cash said "down down down in a burning ring of fire..."

If you think you can't get it from him, get the fck out of that relationship and find someone who will.

The problem with you is this: you don't, you're too scared, weak, and want an easy way out---easy poke to make yourself feel good, someone to make you feel beautiful (although I will tell you this as a man, most of us will tell you how much we love you and how beautiful you are as we are approaching ejaculation in between your legs [or your mouth and or other orifices]...or perhaps to get to that stage ). At the end of the day you might get the fake I love you and the fake admiration, it ain't gonna fix your problem in the long run, just like drinking alcohol to forget your problems. Also like alcohol, you feel guilty like a cheap ***** when you wake up with a big hangover and jizz stain on your smothered make up.

And like I said, it ain't gonna fix your problem. After all that, your husband still hates you and or even more so if he finds out you're taking pipes on the side.

To do the right thing is hard to do. But most times it's worth it.

[Ice Burn]

how would i really stop myself on trying to have an affair?when i mean affair, i just want to flirt around..

Alam mo TS, there are many other things to do than to have an affair. Problem is, naghahanap ka talaga ng affair because you feel neglected by your husband.

I've read somewhere that women engage in affairs do so not because kailangan nilang tumikim ng ibang putahe but rather may malaking pagkukulang sa marriage nila na hinde nila mahanap sa asawa nila whether it's love, attention, financial reasons etc. Women who engage in affairs are often in it emotionally and sometimes do it out of revenge.

You yourself admitted that your husband is so cold towards you. Obviously you are longing for a loving touch and seem to think that being with another man will fill the void (figuratively and yes literally).

There is nothing stopping you from having an affair if you really want to do it. Alam mo naman kung ano ang tama at mali but if you chose to engage in one, be prepared for the consequences. If you do engage in an affair you'll have to live with the guilt and at this point since you have not done so, you have no idea if you can live with the guilt because you're thinking, uuy exciting etc. You may think na kakayanin mo siya but remember you'll be dealing with the lies and guilt and in the long run, living with guilt may eat you alive later.

[love_always]

Usually when people say "don't judge me" they just want to hear what they want to hear. If you want an advice open yourself to replies, and always pass the criticism around including yourself.

But to reply, well, your learned a lesson. Like a wise man said something that starts wrong almost never gets right.

As for cheating, look if you want to find love to substitute what you can't from your husband, do it the right way. In the end your just gonna complicate your life and you're just gonna end up spiraling downward...like Mr. Cash said "down down down in a burning ring of fire..."

If you think you can't get it from him, get the fck out of that relationship and find someone who will.

The problem with you is this: you don't, you're too scared, weak, and want an easy way out---easy poke to make yourself feel good, someone to make you feel beautiful (although I will tell you this as a man, most of us will tell you how much we love you and how beautiful you are as we are approaching ejaculation in between your legs [or your mouth and or other orifices]...or perhaps to get to that stage ). At the end of the day you might get the fake I love you and the fake admiration, it ain't gonna fix your problem in the long run, just like drinking alcohol to forget your problems. Also like alcohol, you feel guilty like a cheap ***** when you wake up with a big hangover and jizz stain on your smothered make up.

And like I said, it ain't gonna fix your problem. After all that, your husband still hates you and or even more so if he finds out you're taking pipes on the side.

To do the right thing is hard to do. But most times it's worth it.

well i kinda realize almost all what you have said from the last comments n tips. but thanks.. il try to be braver on facing things..

[love_always]

Alam mo TS, there are many other things to do than to have an affair. Problem is, naghahanap ka talaga ng affair because you feel neglected by your husband.

I've read somewhere that women engage in affairs do so not because kailangan nilang tumikim ng ibang putahe but rather may malaking pagkukulang sa marriage nila na hinde nila mahanap sa asawa nila whether it's love, attention, financial reasons etc. Women who engage in affairs are often in it emotionally and sometimes do it out of revenge.

You yourself admitted that your husband is so cold towards you. Obviously you are longing for a loving touch and seem to think that being with another man will fill the void (figuratively and yes literally).

There is nothing stopping you from having an affair if you really want to do it. Alam mo naman kung ano ang tama at mali but if you chose to engage in one, be prepared for the consequences. If you do engage in an affair you'll have to live with the guilt and at this point since you have not done so, you have no idea if you can live with the guilt because you're thinking, uuy exciting etc. You may think na kakayanin mo siya but remember you'll be dealing with the lies and guilt and in the long run, living with guilt may eat you alive later.

thanks for the input.. malaking bagay talaga ang mag sinasabi nyo dito, nun una masakit kpag may parang nang-uusig pero ngayon, kagaya ng nasampal na tao, i feel more ok..at nagigising na po..salamat

[love_always]

salamat sa laht ng input nyo. mabuti man o masama. lalo na un ibang wife na tlagang, mas nakaranas nito.salamat talaga..

[petixmode]

wag ka nalang masyadong magfocus sa kanya.. maybe yung husband mo hindi pa napagsawaan ang buhay single nung nagpakasal kayo kaya ngayon since he has no choice.. ganyan ang style nya sayo..

habang lalo ka kasi magfofocus sa actions nya sayo lalo ka lang mafrufrustrate at mamomoblema.. divert mo yung attention sa ibang bagay pero hindi ang manlalake.. for example pwede ka magenrol sa mga yoga class sample lang para magkaron karin ng ibang circle of friends.. or ifocus mo nalang ang sarili mo being a better mom instead being a better wife.. magpaganda ka.. yung tipo bang mabalik uli ang self esteem mo na nawala dahil sa pangdodown ng asawa mo sayo..

nakakatoxic kasi yung ganyan.. you are trying your very best yet wala parin syang pakialam kasi naranasan ko na rin yan kahit hindi ko pa asawa hehehe.. narealize ko baka nasa akin ang problema kaya ganyan sya.. i learn to be independent emotionally and financially..

isa sa sign yan ng pagiging control freak na paghindi mo na macontrol yung asawa o bf mo you get frustrated when things that you wanted eh hindi na nya maibigay sayo.. kaya yan ang kailangan mong alisin.. learn the art of deadma as he no longer exists and prove to him that you can still do what you want without him..

[love_always]

wag ka nalang masyadong magfocus sa kanya.. maybe yung husband mo hindi pa napagsawaan ang buhay single nung nagpakasal kayo kaya ngayon since he has no choice.. ganyan ang style nya sayo..

habang lalo ka kasi magfofocus sa actions nya sayo lalo ka lang mafrufrustrate at mamomoblema.. divert mo yung attention sa ibang bagay pero hindi ang manlalake.. for example pwede ka magenrol sa mga yoga class sample lang para magkaron karin ng ibang circle of friends.. or ifocus mo nalang ang sarili mo being a better mom instead being a better wife.. magpaganda ka.. yung tipo bang mabalik uli ang self esteem mo na nawala dahil sa pangdodown ng asawa mo sayo..

nakakatoxic kasi yung ganyan.. you are trying your very best yet wala parin syang pakialam kasi naranasan ko na rin yan kahit hindi ko pa asawa hehehe.. narealize ko baka nasa akin ang problema kaya ganyan sya.. i learn to be independent emotionally and financially..

isa sa sign yan ng pagiging control freak na paghindi mo na macontrol yung asawa o bf mo you get frustrated when things that you wanted eh hindi na nya maibigay sayo.. kaya yan ang kailangan mong alisin.. learn the art of deadma as he no longer exists and prove to him that you can still do what you want without him..

oo nga..im working on it.kagaya ng sabi s ibang advice,deadma lang ako kahit nababad trip ako..pero deadma kasi deadma rin sya..il find new things to do while waiting for a job

[Aling Menggay]

Hirap talaga me asawa. You cannot change a person by marrying them, when you marry them be prepared to accept them as they are sabi nga ni lola accept your hubby "as is" lol .. no return no exchange. ( am not laughing at your case but reminds me of my Lola when she said this )

If ever they change it will on their own. You cannot nag them to change. I sense you truly love him.

Don't be mad if i say this but what if you forget feeling about "I" "Me" "myself" Continue with what you were doing and keep yourself busy.

Nakakairita talaga when u don't get the attention u deserve. Basta hindi ka nya sinasaktan physically. I know it's even harder yung psychological pain. But ingeneral men are dense as what they say Men are from Mars , Women are from Venus... and thats quite true.


Good Luck !

[biancabee]

Worth it po ipaglabam mga mahahalagang bagay but it comes with a cost. You may regret it or you may emerge wiser with lesson learned.

Kung ako ang tatanungin mo, your biggest problem is pinabayaan mo sarili mo. You can't expect others to love you if you can't see anything to love about yourself. The fact that you have tolerated his behavior seems to mean you agree you are not worthy.

Kawawa ka ****. Pero sadly walang magagawa ang awa ko. i hope you get my point. Ituloy mo ang self improvemnt.

[biancabee]

Mahirap din kasi yung living the irony of wanting to be with an awesom guy,gwapo matalino maappeal but when it comes to ourselves wala naman effort to be the same.

Tingin ko naman nag- effort ka but hirap lang talaga at first. Masakit yung sinasabi niya. But I'm glad through him natauhan ka to improve yourself. hayaan mo na siya ts.

[simple_sweet]

thanks sa advice, il definitely follow ur tips...sobra na nga siguro akong nakatutok sa kanya...leaving him no space to miss me..thanks sa inyong lahat. im feeling more better sa mga advce nyo.. i still want to try.. kapag after lahat ng sinabi nyo, di umupek, siguro gagagawin ko na yun advise ng iba na tapusin na lang talaga..pero i felt better. at nawala na un interest ko to try other problems

tama ts after trying hard so many times to survive the relationship and at the end it's still empty and nothing positive happend, well go for your final decision, love your self and make some space (wag ka muna makipaghiwalay, just tell him kailangan mo lang munang lumayo para makapag isip na din)... kahit mga 1 month lang ts tiisin mo munang wag magparamdam sa kanya sa loob ng 1 month. i assure you ts very efficient iyan, ma mi miss ka niya kahit konti kase maaalala niya yung girl na nagmamahal sa kanya pero hindi niya binibigyan ng importansiya............and if ever man sa loob ng di mo pagpaparamdam sa kanya at wala siyang ginawa na kahit anong moves and that will be the time na makipaghiwalay ka na..................at the end ts no regret kase ginawa mo na lahat just to survive the relationship and yet nothing happend..... just keep praying ts god is always with us.

[love_always]

tama ts after trying hard so many times to survive the relationship and at the end it's still empty and nothing positive happend, well go for your final decision, love your self and make some space (wag ka muna makipaghiwalay, just tell him kailangan mo lang munang lumayo para makapag isip na din)... kahit mga 1 month lang ts tiisin mo munang wag magparamdam sa kanya sa loob ng 1 month. i assure you ts very efficient iyan, ma mi miss ka niya kahit konti kase maaalala niya yung girl na nagmamahal sa kanya pero hindi niya binibigyan ng importansiya............and if ever man sa loob ng di mo pagpaparamdam sa kanya at wala siyang ginawa na kahit anong moves and that will be the time na makipaghiwalay ka na..................at the end ts no regret kase ginawa mo na lahat just to survive the relationship and yet nothing happend..... just keep praying ts god is always with us.

many thanks.. im looking for a job already, and hopefull get to have a work soon.. and on those moment concentrate ko muna yun attention sa work and sa anak din, then if talagang hindi p rin nakakapansin, il probably move to my mom muna for real physical space, at tapos kapag wala talaga, then no choice..sabi nga sa isang quote, why hold a broken glass when you know at the end you'll end up wounded..thanks sa lahat..il go back here everytime il be down to read everybody's advice and hopefully, i can write up the following situations that will occur.still hoping for the best

[love_always]

this is just to give update. After a long hell try out period, still it hasnt worked out.. so i guess, wala na po talagang dapat asahan.. inamin na rin naman nya, he dont want any responsiblity at masaya na sya na wala na kami sa bahay nya.. so i just want to vent out..

Sana mura talga ang annulment, so i can take off his stupid surname in my name..

[Romanticure]

yah, i guess that's the real point there din.pero gusto ko po munang magwork uli.which i been startng to do din..at saka po, mahl ko pa po un asawa ko tlagang nasasaktn n tlg ako sobra.. the longest period of time pinbayaan ko un srili ko kc, arw arw kng anu anung cnsabi nya skin, kesyo kinahihiya nya ko, bobo daw ako, kesyo wala daw akong pakinabang at wala akong paki sa kanya.kesyo pahirap daw ako s buhy nya. ive live my life for 3yrs na ganun..
at pagkatpos kong umiyak at tlikuran nya ko, ako na un magsosory at maglalambing.. even in sex, i was literally just an item..

until last yr nagsink in the un advice ng family n closes friends, mahalin ko un sarili ko para mahlin nya ko.kaya i started to groom my self..nagpaayos ako ng buhokl gamit ang pera ng sister at damit using my mom's help. dont get me wrong,maganda ang salary ng husband ko, i cn buy it for myself,pero sinusumbat kasi nya.. sobrang para akong palamunin na walang pkinabang, to think na *** nmn katulong sa bhy.pati pag gising s kanya ako din..

when i started to groom my self n people notice, na gain ko un confidence ko na matagl nyang binsura.hoping na he'll notice me, pero instead, nggalit pa sya n ngppganda ako kasi iba daw ****** ng mga tao nya..now tell me, hindi talagang maiicp mo n *** mangaliwa..

wag mo na lang intindihin yung sinasabi nya ate, wag ka ring mangaliwa dahil dami nya pwede ibutas syo kapag ginawa mo yun, kapag di nagwork mga sinusubukan mong ways sa kanya, kumunsulta ka na ng lawyer.

hard to tell, pero he even told me recently, wala daw syang paki kung manlalaki ako, basta wag kong gagamitin ang pera nya.. do u think any wife would feel good. so sana po wag nyong icpin na bast gusto ko *** lumandi

WHAT?! dami talagang g.a.g.o.n.g lalake!

[juanito5354]

try mo mag-work uli,

kumuha ka muna ng kasama sa bahay para tumingin sa anak mo.

minsan nakakababa ng self esteem at confidence pagwala work.

tingnan mo kung magbago sya.

[misstinapie]

you know what? flirting is taking the first step towards a larger problem. di mo maiiwasan magkaron ka ng comparison sa current na asawa mo sa makikilala mo. besides, you don't want to be the one who cuts the string di ba? your child will definitely hate you for that.

other than changing yourself physically, etc. why not make the effort to your husband? ask him, woo him ganon. I think what you need is to set your priorities straight. ask your hubby what's wrong and do something with it. malay mo nagaantay lang sya. and don't give the reason na ikaw babae, dapat ikaw sinusuyo. mag asawa na kayo. you are so past highschool para magantayan sinong unang kikibo.

saka... since you're on the road of making yourself much more pleasing, make it a challenge to have your husband surrender to your charm. won't that be much better than flirting?

[love_always]

you know what? flirting is taking the first step towards a larger problem. di mo maiiwasan magkaron ka ng comparison sa current na asawa mo sa makikilala mo. besides, you don't want to be the one who cuts the string di ba? your child will definitely hate you for that.

other than changing yourself physically, etc. why not make the effort to your husband? ask him, woo him ganon. I think what you need is to set your priorities straight. ask your hubby what's wrong and do something with it. malay mo nagaantay lang sya. and don't give the reason na ikaw babae, dapat ikaw sinusuyo. mag asawa na kayo. you are so past highschool para magantayan sinong unang kikibo.

saka... since you're on the road of making yourself much more pleasing, make it a challenge to have your husband surrender to your charm. won't that be much better than flirting?

darling tapos na tong thread na to.he decided to keep his self away from us na.. hasnt decided,pero ayaw na nyang bumalik e.so hindi ko na pwede ipagpilitan sarili ko.. im on the road of improvement na, in work and self and life..

[love_always]

you know what? flirting is taking the first step towards a larger problem. di mo maiiwasan magkaron ka ng comparison sa current na asawa mo sa makikilala mo. besides, you don't want to be the one who cuts the string di ba? your child will definitely hate you for that.

other than changing yourself physically, etc. why not make the effort to your husband? ask him, woo him ganon. I think what you need is to set your priorities straight. ask your hubby what's wrong and do something with it. malay mo nagaantay lang sya. and don't give the reason na ikaw babae, dapat ikaw sinusuyo. mag asawa na kayo. you are so past highschool para magantayan sinong unang kikibo.

saka... since you're on the road of making yourself much more pleasing, make it a challenge to have your husband surrender to your charm. won't that be much better than flirting?

nagawa ko na lahat.. so sister, whatever your telling, i really have done it..
please back read.. at sya na po ang umalis by now.. matagl ng tapos ang kwento na ito.. ul know this when your in my shoes na.. ayaw na nya bumalik

[misstinapie]

oh that's so sad :-(

but what the hell. if he doesn't want you then fine. you know what you have naman! goodluck girl!