i need advice and not judgement

[love_always]

I mean, now when you are married. So there, you are receptive to it and now you nurture the idea. Just a bit hesitant, but you are into it. Pag may nanligaw sayo, I could tell bibigay ka.



Whatever. The bottomline is, can you be financially independent raising your kid?

your points are all taken.thanks..

as to financially capable, sa ngayon since I'm still on search of job, syempre hindi pa, pero i know i can..

[love_always]

hi love_always! im also a wife who have experienced some of what you're experiencing right now. mga salitang masasakit. yep, i had those. *****, walang pakinabang, manlalake na daw wag lang magpa huli, kinahihiya nya, etc. as a wife, tinatake ko na lang, kahit sobrang sakit ng sinasabi. why? kasi marami pa tayong ibang iniiisip. mga anak, bahay, grocery, trabaho, etc. tayo lahat yan e. e kapagod ng may kaaway. and yep, ako na rin naglalambing para matapos. and nagbababati naman, mabait naman kasi. yun ang routine dati. It happened mga 3rd to 5th year.

Kaya Im betting right now, your husband is having an affair, hindi mo lang matanggap. Or pwede ring he's toying with the idea of having an affair pa lang.

Bat ko nasabi, because after ng ganyang scenario, nagka affair na nga for 3 months ang asawa ko. fortunately, i found out! a friend of mine saw him with a girl sa isang hotel. pure luck lang. Siguro pinag adya ng Diyos kasi business meeting lang ng friend ko sa hotel na yun.

So ng malamang ko na may affair, I left him. Sobarang sakit! Dala ko mga anak ko. I let him suffer. Bahala sya sa buhay nya. Ayun tx ng tx, tawag ng tawag. Halos mamatay kasi gusto na kaming makasama ulit. So after 3 months din, pang ganti ba, pinatawad ko. Kasi like you, mahal ko rin. Alam ko rin kasi na mahal ako, it’s just that siguro ganun talaga mga lalaki. I don’t know. Or siguro sawa na, kasi asawa na tayo e. Ano pa, nakuha na nya, naitali na. Unlike other women, hahabulin pa nila.

Tsaka boring na buhay ng may asawa e, no excitement. Kaya yun ang lesson learned ko rin. Right now, we’re having a blast, I don’t dwell with the past. Ni minsan hindi na namin pinag uusapan ulit. Every weekend, we go somewhere. Kahit ano lang. Kaming dalawa. Maging masaya lang.Para kaming mag bf gf now. Im happy. Sya rin, may napulot na lesson. Yung value ng muntik na nyang pakawalan! Sabi nya hindi nya kayang mawala kami sa kanya. Hindi daw seryoso, pang macho effect lang daw.

Advice I can give to you… hold on. Isipin mo anak mo. Yun ang una kong inisip noon. As long as mahal mo! Punta ka church pag free ka. Pray…. Wag kang palaging iyak or lulugo lugo.
Yung problema mo kasi, wala pang climax, hehe, paparating pa lang yung unos… be ready girl!

Or do something about it, Magpaganda ka! Yung confidence dapat lumalabas. Pag kasama mo hubby mo, makipag usap ka sa iba, pakita mo na masarap kang kasama o kausap ng iba. Wag naman yung magflirt sa iba. Para kung wala pa syang affair, wag ng matuloy! Don’t ever think of having an affair, baka yan ang tumuldok sa relasyon nyo. 

di ko carry ang experience na yun..saka he has been like this for quite some times, hindi lang 3months ago, i just realize na baka nuon past several months oo, may iba kasi ang aga umalis at late umuwi at laging ot lang daw pero ngayon, iba na, late na umalis, maaga na rin umuwi.kaso its his attitude that didnt change..at saka sayo ang sabi manlalaki ka wag ka lang pahuli, atleast may paki pa dahil technically sa kanya ka na, pero ang sabi sakin, manlalaki daw ako basta wag kong gagamitin un pera nya.so pera lang sya concern.. anyway, i hope walang ganun part na 3rd party.sana, i pray walang ganun, kasi il lose my sanity talaga... tungkol sa excitement, well lagi ko syang inaaya na gumawa ng bagong hobby or sports or things pero talagang prefered nya na magcomputer e..hay..ayoko talagang i-entertain un 3rd party, naghihina yun tuhod ko.. pero thanks, susubukan kong tatagan ang loob ko..pero sana talaga,wala o wala na..

[JobyBryant24]

Why continu if ayaw na? Makipaghiwalay ka na kesa lokohin mo pa asawa mo.

[treepoli]

di ko carry ang experience na yun..saka he has been like this for quite some times, hindi lang 3months ago, i just realize na baka nuon past several months oo, may iba kasi ang aga umalis at late umuwi at laging ot lang daw pero ngayon, iba na, late na umalis, maaga na rin umuwi.kaso its his attitude that didnt change..at saka sayo ang sabi manlalaki ka wag ka lang pahuli, atleast may paki pa dahil technically sa kanya ka na, pero ang sabi sakin, manlalaki daw ako basta wag kong gagamitin un pera nya.so pera lang sya concern.. anyway, i hope walang ganun part na 3rd party.sana, i pray walang ganun, kasi il lose my sanity talaga... tungkol sa excitement, well lagi ko syang inaaya na gumawa ng bagong hobby or sports or things pero talagang prefered nya na magcomputer e..hay..ayoko talagang i-entertain un 3rd party, naghihina yun tuhod ko.. pero thanks, susubukan kong tatagan ang loob ko..pero sana talaga,wala o wala na..

girl, lahat ng masasakit nasabi rin ng asawa ko. mga ganyan din re pera, pare pareho lang yan. kasi nga hindi pa nya narerealize halaga nyong mag ina. siguro nga you just have to experience it. kasi when i think about it, walang solusyon noong panahon na yun that involves the both of us. talaga sigurong kailangang i undergo namin lahat yun for us to change for the better. hindi rin kayang solusyunan ng pag uusap noon. how many times i tried to talk to him, pero ganyan din, wala problema, pagod, etc.

kaya advice ko magbago ka ng perspective sa buhay. pag gising mo tomorrow, isipin mo wala kayong problema. extra sweet. love is not an emotion di ba. nasa utak yan. scientific. ipag luto mo ng paborito nyang food. sumunod ka lang sa lahat sabihin nya, wag ka komontra. wag ka umiyak. wag mong ipakita. sa room ka umiyak. makita nya level of confidence mo. im saying all these, why? kasi mahal mo e. hindi ito katangahan girl. youre just preserving your family.

sanity? naku girl. kaya mo. lahat kaya. akala ko rin hindi. sa simula napakasakit. in fact, i went on with my daily lives noon, even my best friend hindi alam! kasi alam ko malalagpasan ko. i was able to preesrve not only sanity but my dignity. ang kwenentuhan ko lang, yung taga us na friend ko. why? e kasi hindi nya ma ichi chismis, kasi anlayo nya.

[love_always]

girl, lahat ng masasakit nasabi rin ng asawa ko. mga ganyan din re pera, pare pareho lang yan. kasi nga hindi pa nya narerealize halaga nyong mag ina. siguro nga you just have to experience it. kasi when i think about it, walang solusyon noong panahon na yun that involves the both of us. talaga sigurong kailangang i undergo namin lahat yun for us to change for the better. hindi rin kayang solusyunan ng pag uusap noon. how many times i tried to talk to him, pero ganyan din, wala problema, pagod, etc.

kaya advice ko magbago ka ng perspective sa buhay. pag gising mo tomorrow, isipin mo wala kayong problema. extra sweet. love is not an emotion di ba. nasa utak yan. scientific. ipag luto mo ng paborito nyang food. sumunod ka lang sa lahat sabihin nya, wag ka komontra. wag ka umiyak. wag mong ipakita. sa room ka umiyak. makita nya level of confidence mo. im saying all these, why? kasi mahal mo e. hindi ito katangahan girl. youre just preserving your family.

sanity? naku girl. kaya mo. lahat kaya. akala ko rin hindi. sa simula napakasakit. in fact, i went on with my daily lives noon, even my best friend hindi alam! kasi alam ko malalagpasan ko. i was able to preesrve not only sanity but my dignity. ang kwenentuhan ko lang, yung taga us na friend ko. why? e kasi hindi nya ma ichi chismis, kasi anlayo nya.

yun sa ipagluto, ginagawa ko na yan araw araw..pero i-try ko yun sumunod sa lahat ng sasabihin nya, basta wala lang masasakit na salita na naman.. il try to look at your perspective pero after this at may work na ko pero hindi pa rin sya nag-improve, ayoko na talaga...siguro tama lang na gawin ko naman kung anu yun matagal ko ng sinasabi.. by the way, baka nakalipas na yun babae, baka lang kasi,mejo bumabalik na uli yun gana nya sa kama e. unlike before.pero ayoko na talagang isipin yun kasi baka magkatotoo kung iisipin ko parati, pero ihahanda ko na rin sarili ko.. sana maging kasing tapang mo ko for those instances kasi, ni isipin ayoko ng isipin.. dati i easily voice out my opinion on those matter pero, ngayon ako na yun nasa pwesto, hirap pa lang maging tough all the way.. pero gagawin ko yun ginawa mo kapag nahuli ko..lalayasan ko talaga sya..haha. sana lang sunduin ako/kami..hehe

[pushpop]

now, im on the verge of really lookng for someone else. i know its wrong, but that's how i feel..so how can ideal with how i feel?i really want to try it..

how would i really stop myself on trying to have an affair?when i mean affair, i just want to flirt around..

why would you try to escape one problem by getting into another one? Dadagdagan mo lang sakit ng ulo mo

I think your problem goes deeper than just dealing with your husband's neglect. I think you have a problem with yourself first and foremost.

You are depending on your husband for your sense of self worth - which should not be the case. Learn to love yourself first, then the others will follow.

If you don't love yourself, how can you expect others to love you? And when you love yourself, you wouldn't rely too much on the attention that other people give you - because you don't need it. You'll be happy as you are.

Try to read books, watch happy movies, pamper yourself, study again, travel, go out with friends. As you get used to having a life of your own, you'll be happier, and people will want to be with you and around you more often - maybe even your husband

[Papichulo168]

ah i read the post na po.so far wala naman pong nasasabi na may ibang babae..hindi rin ako pregnant. at kapag tinanung mo naman sya kung may iba talagang pagud lang daw sya..

as for coming home at home, wala naman po syang masasabi, kapag dumating sya sa bahay at tulog pa un toddler naming anak, maayos at malinis un bahay. may bagong saing na kanin at lutong food at lahat ng damit nya nakayos..ultimo medyas nya ako naglalagay sa waste basket. pagdating sa grocery, i never let it empty lalo na sa bigas at favorite food nila ng anak nya na pancit canton at adobo..hindi po ako perfect wife, pero as per being a housemaid, ok naman ang bahay nya. he also dont see me waste money, kagaya ng nasabi ko, im running several online biz so, hindi as if nakatanga lang ako maghapon sa bahay. wala rin kaming katulong so, lahat ako gumagawa.. as for working, may hika kasi anak namin kaya hindi ko basta maipaubaya sa yaya lang.not unless iuwi ko sa mom ko sa province, which i may do now..unlike mr trouble man, hindi naman madalas umais ng day off ang asawa ko.siguro once a month sa day off nya pero nakababad sya sa computer kapag day and night.. as for house decision kahit tanungin mo sya sasabihin nya bahala na ako..

my husband is a good provider naman.pera wise, hindi nya ginagawang issue parati. its the way he treats me na talagang masakit na.. isipin mo un katulong, un na talaga ako sa mata na,siguro worst pa kasi, nagkaron kami katulong dati at mabait naman sya..

"nakababad sya sa computer kapag day and night.."

Now there's your problem...

[simple_sweet]

i been married for more than 4 years. been unhappy for those years. i've done everything to make my husband love me and show how much he love me.but instead of changing, he became colder, and colder each day..i know the question is why did we get married at the first place, you see, just like any young lover, i never saw how unsweet, unthoughtful and how distant he is to me, i thought that being together can change things and definitely, having a child can change matter. i've done everything to make him sense that im changing all the things he want me to change but he never change for me also. he just continue ignoring me. para lang akong katulong sa bahay. only left for me to do is leave him behind..

now, im on the verge of really lookng for someone else. i know its wrong, but that's how i feel..so how can ideal with how i feel?i really want to try it..

for the longest time, pinabayaan ko talaga srili ko because of depression and since last year, things are kinda changing in my perception, and evrybody from neighbors, to friend and even strangers do notice me now.im changing my looks, my weight n body improve.maybe not a big change,pero help my confidence in just 3months..

how would i really stop myself on trying to have an affair?when i mean affair, i just want to flirt around..

ts love your self as you love your husband wag 100% kanya lahat magtira ka para sa sarili mo. question, paano ka niya mamahalin kung ikaw mismo hindi mo minamahal ang sarili mo? irespeto mo sarili mo at irerespeto ka niya...

a little piece of advice maybe it could help you:
1. wag buong atention mo sa kanya lang ng sa kanya, paano ka niya ma mi miss kung minu minuto andyan yung presence mo para sa kanya, kung kaya mo din lang naman siya ignore pag nasa bahay kayo pareho kahit masakit sa kalooban mo gawin mo
2. kung dati dati lage ka nag te text, message, or any means of communication please rather to lessen it, kahit mahirap try mong gawin
3.ipakita mo sa kanya na positibo ka sa lahat ng bagay
4. ipakita mo sa kanya na strong ka sa lahat ng bagay
5. ipakita mo sa kanya na independent ka sa kanya at kahit mahirap paramdam mo din sa kanya na kaya mong mabuhay kung wala siya (wag na wag mong sasabihin sa kanya na hindi mo kayang mabuhay ng wala siya)
6. saying i love you is enough rather than saying i love you so much oh mahal na mahal kita
7. pero wag ka bitter na bigla ka na lang magiging careless sa kanya... ex: kung dati dati ang haba ng txt mo sa kanya pag papasok na siya sa work ***** a simple ingat ka and i love you is ok na!....


minsan kasi ts ang sobrang pagmamahal ay threatened and scary para sa ibang boys... nangangahulugan ito ng pagiging mahina natin sa lahat ng bagay para sa kanila... ipakita mo palage na strong ang personalities mo....... goodluck ts and keep praying

[Vit@min_C]

TS, Anu balita?musta pag papa sexy?

[malisyosa]

Hi Madam, mind if i gave my opinion. you said you dont want an affair but you want to flirt around. maybe that's the problem. If you flirt, you are sending signals that you wanted it. in the first place have you asked yourself why do you want to flirt but you dont wanna make out? do u still love your hubby? but because he doesnt see you at all, you wanted to prove to yourself and to him that you were a great catch, and yiyu still are. Well if you wanna flirt around and not make out you had to your ground rules (para sa guy and para sa sarili mo) pero ang hirap ng hinihingi mo para sa isang guy. Once in a blue moon ka lang maca-encounter ng guy na papayag sa ganyan, meron iba papayag, pero pg hindi na makapgpigil, they would take advantage of you. kung gustu mo ng flirting lang. As far as I know you can be ireesistable and beautiful if you want yourself to be, ikaw na rin ang nagsabi al lot of people noticed you already. so what's the point of having to flirt? Are you just testing the waters, kung tlagang you are irresistable sa opposite sex? kung nakasalalay ang self confidence mo sa sasabihin ng mga lalaki, then ang babaw pala ng tingin mo sa sarili mo. maganda ka nga sa panlabas pero, you are still empty inside. and you deserve better than that madam. maging masaya ka muna as in genuine na masaya and at peace sa sarili mo and hindi lang yung ganda at confidence mo ang makikita nila, it would be so much more, they would be drawn to you (try mo lang, wala namang mawawala)...

[blue_tracer]

siguro misis, exhaust 'nyo muna lahat ng possible remedies na maiisip mo.

pag nagawa 'nyo na 'yan after 1-2 years at wala pa rin talaga, then doon na lang inyo pag isipan 'yang umalis.

flirting? tingnan 'nyo naman sa maraming threads kung saan-saan umabot ang gulo pag married na flirting pa rin. pero kung gusto 'nyo makipagsapalaran, go.

and if your hubby finds out your're flirting, would that help ease the situation? magwawala yun at mas lalu mo lang siya binigyan ng reason para tratohin kang parang basahan.

tama sila.. mag paganda ka. mag pa-sexy ka. mag flirt ka at mangaliwa ka pero ang gagamiting mong subject ay husband mo mismo. pretend like your're another woman competing against yourself.

at simulan mo na maghanap ng trabaho. in case, magkatablahan man sa hindi inaasahang pagkakataon at least, may fall back ka.

if you've been reading the threads.. makikita mo ang daming ginang ang nagrereklamo: sinasaktan ako physically ng asawa ko, kinakaliwa ako hinawaan pa ako ng STDs, etc..

pero hindi maka-porma at hanggang rant lang, dahil ang reality trapped siya eh: saan siya pupunta? ano kakainin niya? papano itong mga anak nila, nagsisipagaral, saan kukunin ang pang gastos?

pag natural death na ng love ng asawa mo ang nangyari wala ka na siguro magagawa pa diyan ano mang pilit ang gawin ninyo, mauuwi lang ito sa pagkukunwari. but just to give the benefit of the doubt, try 'nyo muna ang lahat bago umabot sa hiwalayan.

[love_always]

ts love your self as you love your husband wag 100% kanya lahat magtira ka para sa sarili mo. question, paano ka niya mamahalin kung ikaw mismo hindi mo minamahal ang sarili mo? irespeto mo sarili mo at irerespeto ka niya...

a little piece of advice maybe it could help you:
1. wag buong atention mo sa kanya lang ng sa kanya, paano ka niya ma mi miss kung minu minuto andyan yung presence mo para sa kanya, kung kaya mo din lang naman siya ignore pag nasa bahay kayo pareho kahit masakit sa kalooban mo gawin mo
2. kung dati dati lage ka nag te text, message, or any means of communication please rather to lessen it, kahit mahirap try mong gawin
3.ipakita mo sa kanya na positibo ka sa lahat ng bagay
4. ipakita mo sa kanya na strong ka sa lahat ng bagay
5. ipakita mo sa kanya na independent ka sa kanya at kahit mahirap paramdam mo din sa kanya na kaya mong mabuhay kung wala siya (wag na wag mong sasabihin sa kanya na hindi mo kayang mabuhay ng wala siya)
6. saying i love you is enough rather than saying i love you so much oh mahal na mahal kita
7. pero wag ka bitter na bigla ka na lang magiging careless sa kanya... ex: kung dati dati ang haba ng txt mo sa kanya pag papasok na siya sa work ***** a simple ingat ka and i love you is ok na!....


minsan kasi ts ang sobrang pagmamahal ay threatened and scary para sa ibang boys... nangangahulugan ito ng pagiging mahina natin sa lahat ng bagay para sa kanila... ipakita mo palage na strong ang personalities mo....... goodluck ts and keep praying

thanks sa advice, il definitely follow ur tips...sobra na nga siguro akong nakatutok sa kanya...leaving him no space to miss me..thanks sa inyong lahat. im feeling more better sa mga advce nyo.. i still want to try.. kapag after lahat ng sinabi nyo, di umupek, siguro gagagawin ko na yun advise ng iba na tapusin na lang talaga..pero i felt better. at nawala na un interest ko to try other problems

[love_always]

"nakababad sya sa computer kapag day and night.."

Now there's your problem...

yap thats the pronlem pero i cant compete sa computer..gusto ko na nga ibato tong pc nya.hahaha

kso kelangan ko sa work

[love_always]

Hi Madam, mind if i gave my opinion. you said you dont want an affair but you want to flirt around. maybe that's the problem. If you flirt, you are sending signals that you wanted it. in the first place have you asked yourself why do you want to flirt but you dont wanna make out? do u still love your hubby? but because he doesnt see you at all, you wanted to prove to yourself and to him that you were a great catch, and yiyu still are. Well if you wanna flirt around and not make out you had to your ground rules (para sa guy and para sa sarili mo) pero ang hirap ng hinihingi mo para sa isang guy. Once in a blue moon ka lang maca-encounter ng guy na papayag sa ganyan, meron iba papayag, pero pg hindi na makapgpigil, they would take advantage of you. kung gustu mo ng flirting lang. As far as I know you can be ireesistable and beautiful if you want yourself to be, ikaw na rin ang nagsabi al lot of people noticed you already. so what's the point of having to flirt? Are you just testing the waters, kung tlagang you are irresistable sa opposite sex? kung nakasalalay ang self confidence mo sa sasabihin ng mga lalaki, then ang babaw pala ng tingin mo sa sarili mo. maganda ka nga sa panlabas pero, you are still empty inside. and you deserve better than that madam. maging masaya ka muna as in genuine na masaya and at peace sa sarili mo and hindi lang yung ganda at confidence mo ang makikita nila, it would be so much more, they would be drawn to you (try mo lang, wala namang mawawala)...

thanks..i think i said all my piece here, and there are really helpful part. its not just attention from other men, its the threat for my husband. but either way, i have cleared my mind on those matter now.. feel better aftr a lot of advice around

[Papichulo168]

yap thats the pronlem pero i cant compete sa computer..gusto ko na nga ibato tong pc nya.hahaha

kso kelangan ko sa work

Baka Pex adik naman asawa mo? O baka adik sa World of Warcraft?

Or both?

[love_always]

Baka Pex adik naman asawa mo? O baka adik sa World of Warcraft?

Or both?

manga at computer games sya addict.mabubuhay sya sa harap ng pc

[Papichulo168]

manga at computer games sya addict.mabubuhay sya sa harap ng pc

Hmmm...the plot thickens...


Why don't you take up an interest on either or both? Maya mo hindi niya mahalata na kausap ka na pala niya tungkol sa manga o computer games?

[arvyt**]

get an adviser for life and marriage. get an image consultant. get help from belo medical group just like jinky did

[love_always]

get an adviser for life and marriage. get an image consultant. get help from belo medical group just like jinky did

sana aford ko ang belo med froup..hahaha

[turatko!]

TS wag kang magagalit sa tanung ko ha... Siya lang ba talaga ang dahilan kung bakit kayo nagkakaganyan? Bago ba kayo magpakasal eh ganyan na ang ugali niya?

Sa tingin mo ba bakit siya nagbago sayo? Kase lahat yata ng naikwento mo dito puro siya ang may mali...