Want to share something.
You've made your decision. You've taken her back despite the things that happened between the two of you. You also decided that the marriage is worth saving. You've also acknowledge your shortcomings.
You mentioned in your previous post that one of your dilemma is how to handle the pain. People told you that one of the worse things that may happen after this event is the after-thought of those past activities of your wife and keeping it back during your future quarrels.
I assume this already came into your mind when you made your decision. I am grateful that you are man enough to accept your mistakes and made the yet "biggest" decision of your life by taking her back.
I also assume that your decision have made you "accepted" that those things happened and it's already in the past. I assume you are well-guided by your wisdom that mistakes really happen and responsibility comes with it. Who's responsibility? The doer has the responsibility to correct it, live with the correction, and be responsible to bring back the "agreement". The offended party? Responsibility comes with forgiveness, not necessarily forgetting because that's impossible. But not forgetting it not necessarily mean making it an ammo to your future battles. Remember that once you respond to that mistake, understanding is a must.
How to handle the pain? Love will conquer all. It's high time you assess your emotional attachment to your wife, your commitment to it and your responsibility to achieve your common goals.
One DJ always say "Hurt people do not move on, they just get used to the pain." I may agree, I may not. But time really is a good catalyst in medicating your hurt heart.
One friend says "Sadness is just a state of mind, not a state of heart. For heart is only filled with love, never anger nor hatred."
One lifetime is not enough for us to suffer. So, would you spend the next 40 years of your life guarding your thoughts, checking your movements, letting problems occupy your mind?
Deciding is one thing, acting on your decision is another.
Remember that you can only decide for your self, what ever your decision may be. Your wife's decision is one thing you can't control.
I suggest one thing: come into another agreement, like what vows are for in marriage. If one breaks that agreement, that's another story.