My wife cheated on me....

[infinite_trial]

TS, does it matter if your wife went out on a date or had an intercourse with this guy? you are only hurting yourself more. being emotionally involved with this guy and lying to you are enough to break your trust. i understand wanting to know the truth, but you want to work things out right? it has to start with your wife, since she did you wrong. it maybe good to take a breather, apart from each other...because being together only makes you want to uncover more of the truth and doubt her.

this might teach her a lesson that if she does this again, you could be gone in her life. honestly if it were me, once would be enough since i've already suffered enough of this when i was still in the dating scene. tell her you know the truth, even if you don't know all of it. the guilt should eat her up if she has one. draw the line and make sure she knows her place.

[confused_one22]

Once trust is broken, wala na. Mahirap na ibalik. You are only kidding yourself na wala nangyari sa kanila. Siyempre di aamin asawa mo. I think you need to be strong and make a painful decision

[darmonx]

...

During the confrontation, my wife said they never had a chance to go out on a date, but today, in her USB, I found a photo of the two of them...nothing lewd, it looked like it was taken in a farm, and she had her arm partly around him. More evidence of her lying to me.

I saved the photo, deleted it from her USB, and left her a note there instead.

At the back of my mind I know I'm going to find our more. I have yet to scan her wallet and other things to find what I'm looking for - I dont know what I'm looking for - things perhaps that will hurt me more.

Sana lang, if I am to be hurt, just give it to me in one go.

sadista ka rin ano? why torture yourself? alam mo naman siguro kung saan ka dadalhin nito. just separate already. you are just developing un necessary rage. pag iniwan mo siya.. mukha ka pa ring bida.. pag nanakit ka na, ikaw ang magiging kontra bida... dyan ang bagsak mo pag patuloy ka pang manghalungkat dyan.

if you are too weak to have her leave then tell her to erase and destroy everything in her possession that connects her to the other guy and give a deadline.. you are slowly crossing into your own negativity.

[adiposethoughts]

Lam mo kasi ser, your wife wouldn't cheat on you kung hindi ka rin nagkulang.

It takes two to tango, you know. And in your case, you tango-ed with her... to the avenue of loneliness.

[adiposethoughts]

Ganto lang po kasi ang nasa isip ko. Ikaw na po ang nagsabi na financially broke at may problem kayo, among many other things.

Eh ikaw ser. Anong ginawa mo habang financially burdened kayo? Masaya ka pa rin bang kasama? Gumawa ka ba ng paraan para despite you both being dead broke happy at sweet pa din ang relationship niyo?

Ikaw na po ang nagsabi Christian ka. Naaalala ko po nun nag-attend ako ng isang Christian sunday sermon, nasabi nun pastor, "Husbands, love your wife. Wives, respect your husbands."

That did struck a cord in me somehow.

Did you LOVE your wife inspite of? Did you SHOW LOVE to your wife even if both of you didn't feel like it?


Kaming mga babae sensitive sa ganyan. Para kaming sinasaksak paulit ulit at walang katapusan kapag hindi na kami napapansin or na bibyigyan ng atensiyon at paglalambing ng mister namin (or in my case, ng partner ko).

Mas gugustuhin pa po naming mamatay.

Because we women, are made to be loved.

And when we're loved, we couldn't help but respect you in return. We'll do everything to protect your kahihiyan and your name.


Ganon po kasimple ser. Saan po ba kayo nagkulang?


It takes two to tango ser. And most women won't cheat unless there's a grave "need".

[kensamor]

^I respectfully disagree. There is absolutely no excuse for cheating. Kung ako naman, mas maigi pa mamatay kesa mangaliwa.

[olh8red]

Ganto lang po kasi ang nasa isip ko. Ikaw na po ang nagsabi na financially broke at may problem kayo, among many other things.

Eh ikaw ser. Anong ginawa mo habang financially burdened kayo? Masaya ka pa rin bang kasama? Gumawa ka ba ng paraan para despite you both being dead broke happy at sweet pa din ang relationship niyo?

Ikaw na po ang nagsabi Christian ka. Naaalala ko po nun nag-attend ako ng isang Christian sunday sermon, nasabi nun pastor, "Husbands, love your wife. Wives, respect your husbands."

That did struck a cord in me somehow.

Did you LOVE your wife inspite of? Did you SHOW LOVE to your wife even if both of you didn't feel like it?


Kaming mga babae sensitive sa ganyan. Para kaming sinasaksak paulit ulit at walang katapusan kapag hindi na kami napapansin or na bibyigyan ng atensiyon at paglalambing ng mister namin (or in my case, ng partner ko).

Mas gugustuhin pa po naming mamatay.

Because we women, are made to be loved.

And when we're loved, we couldn't help but respect you in return. We'll do everything to protect your kahihiyan and your name.


Ganon po kasimple ser. Saan po ba kayo nagkulang?


It takes two to tango ser. And most women won't cheat unless there's a grave "need".

Your comment made me laugh. Thank you.

But Just like the comment before this, I disagree. Whatever the situation you and your spouse are in, there is no excuse for cheating - it simply doesn't resolve the problem.

I pity my situation because I've been cheated on, but I pity you for what you believe in (with all due respect of course).

[F-A Soldier]

The 'it takes two to tango' in infidelities is between the lover and the cheater, not the cuckold.

[Bikerman]

kaya dami negative things happenings..ginagaya sa movies...friends with benefits....no strings attached...adultery...one night stand...media source kasi....

[F-A Soldier]

^pre, cheating predates movies and TV. LOL.

The term cuckold in fact started in the Middle Ages.

[blue_tracer]

mahirap 'yan.

kasi kunyari.. kung pinagbabalakan mo pa lang kabayohin ang misis ng kumpare mo, aba'y meron ka na kaagad ready made na palusot eh: nag kulang ang misis mo

walang perpekto sa mundo. may isa o dalawa sa inyo, at one point na magkukulang at magkukulang. when this happens that can lead to having problems in your relationship.

ang fundamental question nga dito.. ano ang S.O.P. pag uusapan ba ninyo in detail ang problemang 'yan para mahanapan ng possible solution?

or

deretso ka na kaagad sa cheating.. and if by chance, you get caught only then you'd then start talking about the problem? problem which you think is being caused by your partner.

the latter is conditional.

hindi laging automatic 'yan na porke't may nag cheat eh ibig sabihin may problema na kaagad ang partner nito. may problema o wala, ang isang decided mag cheat, mag cheat talaga.

kawawa naman yung siya na nga yung nasaktan, abah siya pa daw ang cause.

minsan may problema talaga.. genuine at nakakuha ng justification sa cheating.. pero minsan, wala naman talaga problema. nagka problema pa kamo nang meron na isa o dalawa sa inyo nag te-cheating.

case-to-case basis.

[picture_perfect]

Ganto lang po kasi ang nasa isip ko. Ikaw na po ang nagsabi na financially broke at may problem kayo, among many other things.

Eh ikaw ser. Anong ginawa mo habang financially burdened kayo? Masaya ka pa rin bang kasama? Gumawa ka ba ng paraan para despite you both being dead broke happy at sweet pa din ang relationship niyo?

Ikaw na po ang nagsabi Christian ka. Naaalala ko po nun nag-attend ako ng isang Christian sunday sermon, nasabi nun pastor, "Husbands, love your wife. Wives, respect your husbands."

That did struck a cord in me somehow.

Did you LOVE your wife inspite of? Did you SHOW LOVE to your wife even if both of you didn't feel like it?


Kaming mga babae sensitive sa ganyan. Para kaming sinasaksak paulit ulit at walang katapusan kapag hindi na kami napapansin or na bibyigyan ng atensiyon at paglalambing ng mister namin (or in my case, ng partner ko).

Mas gugustuhin pa po naming mamatay.

Because we women, are made to be loved.

And when we're loved, we couldn't help but respect you in return. We'll do everything to protect your kahihiyan and your name.


Ganon po kasimple ser. Saan po ba kayo nagkulang?


It takes two to tango ser. And most women won't cheat unless there's a grave "need".

What's the use of marriage vows then?

[cmonmamon]

My parents used to be in you and your wife's shoes. They tried to work it out, even adding a 4th beautiful child in our family, but too much trust has been broken. The two of them somehow can't forget each other's mistakes and end up fighting about it incessantly until the time came when they both fell out of love. Both decided that things just wouldn't be the same anymore and that they're better off separated. They're now on their 11th year of separation and my Mom has re-married last year.

I'm not discouraging you that things between you and your wife wouldn't work out anymore, but instead, you have a choice. A choice whether to do your best to forgive and forget everything that has happened and every person that has been involved and try living your life as if nothing happened, or you can go around and boss your wife what and what not to do in order for her to pay for what she did and eventually end up arguing about it and live a pretentious life with your family especially with your kids.

[tonton]

Ganto lang po kasi ang nasa isip ko. Ikaw na po ang nagsabi na financially broke at may problem kayo, among many other things.

Eh ikaw ser. Anong ginawa mo habang financially burdened kayo? Masaya ka pa rin bang kasama? Gumawa ka ba ng paraan para despite you both being dead broke happy at sweet pa din ang relationship niyo?

Ikaw na po ang nagsabi Christian ka. Naaalala ko po nun nag-attend ako ng isang Christian sunday sermon, nasabi nun pastor, "Husbands, love your wife. Wives, respect your husbands."

That did struck a cord in me somehow.

Did you LOVE your wife inspite of? Did you SHOW LOVE to your wife even if both of you didn't feel like it?


Kaming mga babae sensitive sa ganyan. Para kaming sinasaksak paulit ulit at walang katapusan kapag hindi na kami napapansin or na bibyigyan ng atensiyon at paglalambing ng mister namin (or in my case, ng partner ko).

Mas gugustuhin pa po naming mamatay.

Because we women, are made to be loved.

And when we're loved, we couldn't help but respect you in return. We'll do everything to protect your kahihiyan and your name.


Ganon po kasimple ser. Saan po ba kayo nagkulang?


It takes two to tango ser. And most women won't cheat unless there's a grave "need".

Oh my god. TS ikaw pa ang sinisi.

[jen_buga]

Oh my god. TS ikaw pa ang sinisi.

i am also "almost" in teh same situation..although, there are no excuses to cheating (by all means i know i didn't cheat on him, he just assumed) i agree to some points the adiposethoughts has given..natukso siguro ang wife mo dahil may mga pagkakataon na binalewala mo na rin siya..and she was "surprised" by your reaction..ibig sabihin lang nito ang alam ng asawa mo wala ka naring feelings for her..
Ako, 2 years nang mahigit na pinagdudusahan ko ang isang kasalanan na hindi ko naman ginawa. pinakialaman ang email ko, tapos magre-react without looking back sa mga bagay na nangyari. and one more thing, pinahihirapan mo lang ang sarili mo sa ginagawa mo..take a breather, sabi mo christian ka di ba?bakit hindi ka magdasal at humingi ng tulong sa diyos?
You will be living a miserable life, just like mine, dahil the ghost will haunt you. i didn't end up splitting with him, dahil gaya mo me anak din kami..Ang alam ko lang balewala ako sa asawa ko, kaya siguro "hahanapin" ko ang atensiyon na iyon sa iba..pag-isipan mo..hindi mo pwedeng isisi lang sa asawa mo ang nangyari sa inyo..aminin mong me pagkukulang ka rin ..hindi ito subject na ikaw na lalake e masasaktan dahil chi-neat ka..me dahilan behind all these

[actor21]

been there done that...it hurts like hell at first but it soon will
past...move on...once a cheater always a cheater...and there are
already trust issues here.

[adiposethoughts]

Oh my god. TS ikaw pa ang sinisi.

Ahehehe..

Sige. Sisihin niyo lang ng sisihin si misis. Ganun talaga eh, di ba? Kun sino si iyo de puta, yun ang batuhin ng bato hanggang sa mamatay.

Don't get me wrong, IF I was the one who had been cheated, in my case, I wouldn't even think of forgiving the cheater.

Meaning, I DON'T tolerate cheating. Alam niya kung ano ang magiging consequence kapag nangaliwa siya.

In my case then, wala akong problema. Kasi, wala akong kelangan i-consider na patawarin / balikan.

Which is different with your situation somehow.


... Dilemma MO nga ito, di ba?

So ano na lang ang gagawin natin ngayon? I-blame lahat sa asawa mo as if WALA kang nagawa? AS IF HINDI KA NAGKULANG????

WEHHH... Hindi nga? Sigurado kang wala kang pagkukulang?

Yan ang isang bagay na hindi mo nasagot sa huli mong post. Kung INAAMIN mo ba kung may pagkukulang ka ba o wala.

Bagkus, you answered my post with "your post made me laugh."

What is that about? Covering something up?

Sige. Itodo mo yang ugali mong yan. Ang problema naman ay between sayo at sa asawa at sa pamilya mo eh. Hindi naman ikaw ang jowa ko. So kung itutuloy mo ang pity party mo sa sarili mo at hindi mo titignan objectively kung bakit nangaliwa ang misis mo sayo at kung saan ka nagkulang at kung saan ang mali kung bakit nauwi sa ganyan ang relasyon mo, eh pare... problema mo na yan.

Hirap lang kasi lalaki ka. Unang una sa lahat ayaw mong naiiputan. Kaya mas masakit sayo at sa ego mo na may isang babae ang magpaparating sayo na baka kaya nagkaganyan kayo ng asawa mo ay dahil may pagkukulang ka rin.

Tapos idadahilan mo samin na, "Eh bat ako hindi naman ako nangaliwa ah? Kahit mapakla na ang relasyon namen."

BUT IS THAT HOW YOU REALLY WANNA LIVE? IS THAT HOW MARRIAGE IS FOR YOU? Admit it or not, you were also dying inside.

BUT DID YOU DO ANYTHING, SIR?

Sige nga, sabihin mo sakin... Anong klaseng lalaki ang papayag na mawawala na lang ang "init" at pagmamahal at pagmamalasakit sa relasyon nilang mag-asawa? ANONG KLASENG LALAKE YON?

Sinasabi ko sayo ito not to put the blame on you. No no no no no.

I'm telling you all these kasi ikaw mismo, tignan mo ang sarili mo. Ang praning praning mo nang kasama. Hindi ka makapagpatawad, ni hindi ka makakilos sa buhay mo. BAKET? Kasi natatakot ka kasing MADAYA at MAISAHAN at MAIPUTAN ulet.

TAMA?

Tama.


Kaya ka nga bantay sarado sa asawa mo eh. Are you cutting their relationship not because you want to get her back, but because ayaw mo lang maisahan? Dahil kapag naiisahan ka, nasasaktan ka ng bongga?

Sige, TS, tatanungin kita. Aside from you making bantay sarado your asawa since your knowledge of the cheating, what else have you been doing to find forgiveness for her and to rekindle your relationship?

MERON BA?

[adiposethoughts]

mahirap 'yan.

kasi kunyari.. kung pinagbabalakan mo pa lang kabayohin ang misis ng kumpare mo, aba'y meron ka na kaagad ready made na palusot eh: nag kulang ang misis mo

walang perpekto sa mundo. may isa o dalawa sa inyo, at one point na magkukulang at magkukulang. when this happens that can lead to having problems in your relationship.

ang fundamental question nga dito.. ano ang S.O.P. pag uusapan ba ninyo in detail ang problemang 'yan para mahanapan ng possible solution?

or

deretso ka na kaagad sa cheating.. and if by chance, you get caught only then you'd then start talking about the problem? problem which you think is being caused by your partner.

the latter is conditional.

hindi laging automatic 'yan na porke't may nag cheat eh ibig sabihin may problema na kaagad ang partner nito. may problema o wala, ang isang decided mag cheat, mag cheat talaga.

kawawa naman yung siya na nga yung nasaktan, abah siya pa daw ang cause.

minsan may problema talaga.. genuine at nakakuha ng justification sa cheating.. pero minsan, wala naman talaga problema. nagka problema pa kamo nang meron na isa o dalawa sa inyo nag te-cheating.

case-to-case basis.

Kawawa talaga ser blue kung siya na nga yun na-cheat, siya pa yun may kasalanan.

I would have felt the same, yeah.

Pero kung ang ugali natin palagi eh to point fingers on others and we wouldn't even try to look / search within to see if there's anything else we could do to improve ourselves, our actions, our perspectives, our reactions, and find ways so that our actions could improve the lives around us, what's the use of us commencing a relationship with someone else? What?

[adiposethoughts]

What's the use of marriage vows then?

I would want to ask you back that question, my dear. =)

Tignan mo yun buong istorya tapos itanong mo yung tanong mo sa sarili mo. =)

[adiposethoughts]

The 'it takes two to tango' in infidelities is between the lover and the cheater, not the cuckold.

First time I reckon where I would ever disagree with you, sweetpie. =)