Ateneo / La Salle Jokes

[eli19]

I know an old one that my friend told me,

If you're rich and good looking go to to La Salle

If you're intelligent go to UP

If you're intelligent, rich and good looking go to Ateneo.

-simple but made me smile

[strandedstranger]

^I have never doubted that Ateneans are among the most conceited beings in this world. hAHAHAHAHAHA

[c0itus_p0gi]

^I have never doubted that Ateneans are among the most conceited beings in this world. hAHAHAHAHAHA

[heightenedstate]

I know an old one that my friend told me,

If you're rich and good looking go to to La Salle

If you're intelligent go to UP

If you're intelligent, rich and good looking go to Ateneo.

-simple but made me smile

Funny yet somewhat true

Nabasa ko yan sa isang magazine. May kulang yan.

"Pag gusto mo ng pink... go to CEU"

[thescriptjock]

I know an old one that my friend told me,

If you're rich and good looking go to to La Salle

If you're intelligent go to UP

If you're intelligent, rich and good looking go to Ateneo.

-simple but made me smile

THIS

[Sweetpapa]

The only lasalle - ateneo joke i remember was one i heard back in grade school in the 80's ...

An Ateneo student and a lasalle student were both in the bathroom taking a piss. The lasalle student washed his hands after and the atenean turned to leave the bathroom without washing.

Lasalle student: hey, why didnt you wash your hands after pissing? In lasalle, we are taught to wash our hands after that!

Atenean: oh i see, good for you, but in ateneo, they teach us not to piss on our hands.

Lol

[c0itus_p0gi]

^

Here's the detailed version.

The Things We Learn in Grade School

Chance had it that an Atenean and a La Sallite were peeing in the Men's Room at the same time. The Atenean finished first and after a quick shake, zipped up and was about to quickly exit.

The La Sallite finished peeing immediately after, approached the sink, turned on the faucet, started to wash his hands and hurriedly shot a remark at the departing Atenean - "You must be an Atenean!"

The Atenean replied, "Why yes... You're right... But aside from the obvious markings on my jacket, how did you know?"

To which, the La Sallite answered rather haughtily, "I noticed - you didn't wash your hands after peeing. You see, we, La Sallites, were taught, very early in Grade School, to always wash our hands after we pee!"

And the Atenean replied somewhat sheepishly, "Oh... Well.. You see, we Ateneans were taught, very early in Grade School, never to pee in our hands..."

[c0itus_p0gi]

Tatlong Magkaka-brakada: a La Sallite, a UPian, and an Atenean went on a hunting trip.

The first night, the guy from UP comes back to the cabin with a big deer. The others ask him how he did it, and he cooly replies: "I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, and bang! I got the deer!"

The next night, the guy from Ateneo comes back also with a big deer. "I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, and bang! I got the deer!" was the Atenean's story.

So the La Sallite decides to try it himself. But the next night, as he drags himself back to the cabin, his two companions find him bruised and bloody all over. "What happened?" they ask?

"Well," replies the La Sallite, "I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, and bang! A train hit me."

[thescriptjock]

PASIKATAN NG GRADWEYTS

UP: A number of past Philippine presidents graduated from UP. Presidents Roxas, Quirino, Laurel, Garcia and Marcos, to name just a few!
ATENEO: Hah! That's nothing, a number of Ateneo graduates became national heroes like Jose Rizal, Gen. Gregorio del Pilar, Gen. Antonio
Luna, Evelio Javier and many others.
UP: That just goes to show you, UP graduates become presidents and lead countries while Ateneans end up getting shot!
LA SALLE: Wala 'yan. Talo kayo sa mga gradweyt namin!
UP & ATENEO: Bakit sino ba ang mga graduates ninyo?
LA SALLE: Aba! Marami kaming sikat na gradweyts; si Gary
Valenciano, Dingdong Avanzado, Ogie Alcasid, Monsour del Rosario . . .

[thescriptjock]

HOW TO IDENTIFY A LA SALLITE

A La Sallite walks into a store in Mega Mall and says: "Miss, I'd like a green parrot, please." The salesgirl looks at him and asks: "Sir...,are you a La Sallite, by any chance?". The La Sallite replies: "O... bakit mo naman natanong 'yan? If I ordered BLUE cheese, would you ask me if I were from Ateneo? I don't think so. If I bought a MAROON shirt, would you ask meif I were from UP? I think not. So why then, when I want to buy a GREEN parrot, do you ask me if I'm from La Salle???"
"Sir.. kasi naman..."replied the salesgirl, "this is a flower shop, eh."

[i_bleed_blue]

HOW TO IDENTIFY A LA SALLITE

A La Sallite walks into a store in Mega Mall and says: "Miss, I'd like a green parrot, please." The salesgirl looks at him and asks: "Sir...,are you a La Sallite, by any chance?". The La Sallite replies: "O... bakit mo naman natanong 'yan? If I ordered BLUE cheese, would you ask me if I were from Ateneo? I don't think so. If I bought a MAROON shirt, would you ask meif I were from UP? I think not. So why then, when I want to buy a GREEN parrot, do you ask me if I'm from La Salle???"
"Sir.. kasi naman..."replied the salesgirl, "this is a flower shop, eh."

wahahahahahahahaha! super like!

[malefootfetish4u]

HOW TO IDENTIFY A LA SALLITE

A La Sallite walks into a store in Mega Mall and says: "Miss, I'd like a green parrot, please." The salesgirl looks at him and asks: "Sir...,are you a La Sallite, by any chance?". The La Sallite replies: "O... bakit mo naman natanong 'yan? If I ordered BLUE cheese, would you ask me if I were from Ateneo? I don't think so. If I bought a MAROON shirt, would you ask meif I were from UP? I think not. So why then, when I want to buy a GREEN parrot, do you ask me if I'm from La Salle???"
"Sir.. kasi naman..."replied the salesgirl, "this is a flower shop, eh."

Hahahaha! Nice one!!!

[thescriptjock]

An Ateneo and a La Salle student decided to settle once and for all who’s the better school.

But unfortunately or fortunately their respective school administrators don't want a violent competition so they both decided that the battle will be a silent debate.

So on the day of the battle, the two students meet.

Ateneo: (raises pointer finger, hand sign for 1)

La Salle: (raises peace sign)

Ateneo: (raises three fingers like the Boy Scout sign)

La Salle: (raises clenched fist)

Ateneo: (takes out an apple)

La Salle: (takes out a sandwich)

At this point the Atenean approaches the La Sallite, offers a handshake and concedes.

Afterwards they went back to their respective schools one defeated, one victorious.

The Atenean reported to the Jesuits.

Atenean: I have shamed our school by being defeated by La Salle.
I started by saying, "There is One God." (one sign)
La Salle answered "In two persons." (peace sign)
I went on "They are part of the Holy Trinity." (three fingers)
He said, "They are One." (clenched fist)
But man is weak because of the Apple of Temptation. (apple)
He closed it with redemption with the Bread of Life. (sandwich)

The Jesuits proceeded to console the Atenean telling him he did an honorable fight, which is all they can ever ask for.

The La Sallite on the other hand went back to the La Salle Brothers and reported

La Salle: I'm quite confused. He conceded defeat.
The Atenean wanted to poke my eye (one sign)
I said I’d poke both of his (peace sign)
But he'll grab my nose and mouth (three fingers)
Inaya ko na lang ng suntukan (clenched fist)
He took out his Apple (apple)
Nilabas ko rin baon ko (sandwich)

I guess La Salle will always win.

[gablorenzo]

Para lahat matamaan.

Q: How many UP students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it, and another to blame the state for its lack of support.

Q: How many Ateneans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it, and another to brag about the feat.

Q: How many La Sallistas does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We don’t know. We forgot the calculator at home.

Taken here.

[lovejones]

overheard from a lassalite and assumptionista couple:

assumptionista: am i mean to you?
lassalista: yes, you mean so much to me.

[RollsRoyce]

^Overheard from two Lasallians during a dance:

Lasallian guy: "May I dance over you?"

Lasallian girl responds: "Centerly, with pressure."

----------------------------------------------------
Overheard from the same Lasallian couple:


Lasallian guy to the girl in a joking, pa-karinyo effect manner: "Low IQ naman....."

Lasallian girl seriously and romantically responds: "I like you too."

[bmd]

School names are used as code words for certain stereotypes in the board room. As in,

"Siempre, naman. Grade school pa lang, Atenista na yan." (~Matalino na nga, civilizado pa.)
"Well, UP yan. Kaya nga din siguro." (~Matalino nga, barok naman.)
"Akalain mo bang La Sallista lang iyan?" (~Against all odds...)

[baby_jee]

selling bustier clothes.. highly fashionable! visit http://babyjeee.multiply.com/products

[Limer]

DLSU may place last among the top 3 universities. It may be also easier to get accepted into DLSU than ADMU. However, that was long ago since ADMU has been accepting more applicants than DLSU in the past 3 years. Just saying Atenean friends.

Oh by the way, Klaudia Koronel took UPCAT, ACET and DLSUCET. She only passed ACET.

[thex]

Limer,

How are those two things related, exactly? Just because the Ateneo has been accepting more applicants lately doesn't mean that it's easier to get into the Ateneo. For all we know, more students have just been passing the standards set by the Admissions Office.