Pinoys' odds in surviving a zombie apocalypse?

[tresadiktus]

anyway bertdey, ewan ko kung masyado pretentious to pero parang mas okay yung merong cosmic immigration sa Uranus tapos marami na palang nakasagap nung zombie virus at naging full blown lang nung pagbagsak sa Uranus or on the way kasi malayo yun di ba?

magiging critically acclaimed yun hanggang sa Hollywood!

Pinoy Zombie Apocalypse Up In Uranus!

[electro_gestapo]

Fast zombies tend to die quicker (this according to a podcast). Since a dead body does not metabolize anymore, a fast zombie's muscles tend to use up it's remaining nutrients to chase after you until it finally runs out and eventually die (again) and rot. Therefore, a zombiepocalypse of fast zombies tends to be short but with a large number of victim count since fast zombies are agile enough to run after their food (you) in their undead-span before they die again.

A slow, shambling, "braaaiiinnss...", traditional, stereotypical zombie from early Romero's normally lasts for months, even years. Because they are slow, the dead body decays at a slightly higher than normal rate and is less likely to succumb to the stress and impact of running after it's meal (you and your friends). Therefore, such zombiepocalypse scenario will drag on for a long, long while until the dead's muscle finally gets too decayed to move anymore. But if you think the slow, stupid but longer lasting, shambling zombies are your best chances of surviving, think again:

- they maybe slow but they live longer. You may be able to survive simply by running away, but can you keep running for months? The shamblers are simple-minded, with only the thought of catching up and eating you as it's only inspiration. Sooner or later, you'll run out of places to run and despite a shambling zombie that has been chasing you for months' average speed is a tenth of yours, it will eventually catch up sooner or later provided you have not gained the ability to fly.

- They live longer and since they're more durable, their numbers don't deplete as rapidly. Meaning there's going to be a lot of them around. Lets say there's 10 of you vs. 1000 of them, 1:100 odds of you surviving a zombiepocalypse, do the math. You might be able to survive for months or years depending on how good your zombie survival skills are.

- Shamblers are stealthy. They move slow so you normally you won't notice them in the dark until it's too late. Shamblers are the ninjas of the zombie universe. They're more likely to have snacked on your arm before you even notice they're there. Unlike the noisy, fast ones that normally "gwaaaarrrgghhh!!!..." when they spot you that announces their presence before they chase you.

So how would the typical Pinoy fare in a zombiepocalypse?

- Pinoys are usually out of shape, they normally take a jeep, tricycle, scooter, whatevs when going to even a short distance that practically qualifies as a walkable distance (like 3 blocks or so). So they're not likely going to be able to out-run one having all the running skills of a drunken goat. A fast zombie will most likely have caught up with one in less than a 100 paces and a slow one will wear a typical pinoy out in less than a week.

- Pinoy mentality is a "me first" mentality, an also severely disorganized and totally uncoordinated. We can't get organized enough in a normal setting, even less so in an all-out zombiepocalypes. We might as well be a bunch of headless chickens running around aimlessly from them and they'll eventually catch up and eat us.

- We have no existing research facility or technical knowledge to fight zombies. We can't even produce a decent research to fight normal problems much less a fictional, over-the-top one.

- We don't have secured infrastructures to at least hide in. Most pinoy houses are relatively easy to burglarize, especially ones in rural areas. We don't even have basements here which at least gives us a one-way-in advantage when swarmed. If you're saying there's a better chance in an open field, then let's see if those chances are any better when the zombies are coming in from all directions, in the dark!.

- The best way to fight hordes of zombies is with napalm, APC/Tanks, heavy gunnery and grenades at the very least. Take them out in large numbers or at least we get a 100:1 kill ratio so we can get good odds at surviving. Let's see what we have in the army's inventory..well, there's practically nothing. Yup, we're screwed. We might as well fight with melee weapons and Molotovs which gives us 1:1(?) or worse (0:1), if the pinoy can't even chop the head off the undead to re-death to save his own hide.

So in the scale of 0-5 where:

0 = Totally annihilated/zombified, like a herd of defenseless, moo-cows.
1 = Fought till the last man but all died in the end
2 = Some survived but are still fighting for their lives, the entire country is now like a mad max sequel. With zombies.
3 = Conquered the zombies and is now working to contain the remaining ones, and by "contain" it means shooting them between the eyes.
4 = Contained the zombie outbreak before it got out of hand
5 = "What zombie attack?"

We get 0-1. Goodluck, Pinoy!

[glamorous03]

Zombie expert ka ba?

----------------------------
Patayin sa sindak si Remington :zombadings

[MaccieForever]

Zombie expert ka ba?

----------------------------
Patayin sa sindak si Remington :zombadings

Talagang pinag-aralan ni electro_gestapo ang zombies

[glamorous03]

kaya nga eh.. At least prepared sya.

[electro_gestapo]

Zombie expert ka ba?

----------------------------
Patayin sa sindak si Remington :zombadings

Hindi po, lagi lang kasi topic iyan sa Cracked.com.

[Nils]

http://www.die2nite.com

lets see if pinoys have the ability to help each other out if this sh!t happens

[xerox_machine81]

better not use the skyway or else you might get trapped there if both ends are surrounded by zombies.

[glamorous03]

Ay mukhang pogi...

[nu_metal]

Yung Super Islaw movie ni Richard Gomez nung 1980's. Naalala ko lumaban siya sa mga zombies dun.

Kung papanoorin mabuti ang movie, kung mapapansin same zombie actors/actresses din yung ginamit para sa ibang scene. Hehe, nagtipid sa mga extras...

[skye_phoenix]

Hindi naman bobo lahat ng pinoy, for sure mayroon pa ring may common sense at makaka-survive at makakapag ligtas ng iba pa.

eto ang ilan sa aking mga zombie apocalypse survival guide.

1. malamang dahil halos lahat ng tao susubukan tumakas papunta sa kung saan-saan ay magkakabuhol-buhol ang trapiko tulad sa mga zombie movies at games, so maganda kung mag bisikleta na lang, hindi maingay at hindi kailangan ng gasolina, exercise pa.

2. astig pag may high powered guns and rifle ka diba tulad ng AK-47, pero may downside din ito dahil nauubusan ng bala at dahil malaki at mabigat medyo hassle dalhin. So maganda rin kung meron kang mga Melee weapons mala Left 4 Dead 2 at Shaun of the dead kung sakaling wala ka nang bala.

3. don't ever forget to aim for the HEAD!!! Wag mag aksaya ng bala, oras at lakas sa pag target sa kung saan-saang bahagi ng katawan ng zombie.

4. and simply don't lose common sence and humanity.

Good luck to all pinoys!!!!

[jazzper]

Cherry Bomb, Doom Shroom at Jelapeno lang kailangan mo dyan hindi makakalapit ang mga yan! Kaya dapat magtanim ng maraming ganyang plants.

[Ice Burn]

sinu-sino dito ang may sariling baril at high powered rifles?

[skye_phoenix]

sinu-sino dito ang may sariling baril at high powered rifles?

ako wala, pero madali nang dumilihensiya nun during a zombie outbreak.

[Papichulo169]

One question about zombies that I never got an intelligent answer on is...

If zombies are flesh eating, why don't they eat the flesh of other zombies? Or eat their own flesh?

[jazzmine22]

Tanong naman, sa The walking dead, paano ba nagkaroon ng zombie outbreak? Diba sa "I am legend" dahil dun sa cancer vaccine, eh sa the walking dead?

[jazzmine22]

One question about zombies that I never got an intelligent answer on is...

If zombies are flesh eating, why don't they eat the flesh of other zombies? Or eat their own flesh?

fresh meat. Sinong gustong kumain ng bilasa?

[Papichulo169]

One question about zombies that I never got an intelligent answer on is...

If zombies are flesh eating, why don't they eat the flesh of other zombies? Or eat their own flesh?

fresh meat. Sinong gustong kumain ng bilasa?

No offense jazz ha pero walang logic sa sagot na yun. Kung wala ngang brain cells ang mga zombie paano pa magiging pihikan sa pagkain mga yun lalu na kung konti na lang ang prey. They're supposed to be driven by hunger and instinct so taste preference shouldn't be an issue.

[invi]

Kayang-kaya. Baka mga zombie pa ang hindi kayanin dito sa dumi ng lugar natin.

Zombie: Raarr!
Pinoys: Waaahhh! Tago tayo doon sa eskinita, bilis! (takbo sa eskinita)
Zombie: Raaaaa... ay! Ang daming ipis, ang lalaki ng daga! Ewww!

[RadyoJuanDLaCruz]

Hindi zombie apocalypse ang katapusan ng Pilipinas,

kundi isang BUWAYApocalypse.

Mag-ingat: Kumakalat na sila sa kongreso, senado, city hall, pati sa pinakamalapit na Baranggay hall sa inyo.