Can a guy and a girl can really be just friends

[collegestudent]

maybe may nagagawa ka na hindi mo namamalayan na kinakafall nila sa'yo. Baka super friendly and nice and sweet ka sa kanila kaya nahuhulog sila sa'yo, which kung ayaw mo talaga ng talo-talo , you should watch how you act around them. Dapat pakita mo na friends lang talaga kayo, and wala kang interest sa kanila. Tas hindi mo pa sinasabi sa bf mo, baket?

Tinry ko nmang isipin kung may ginagawa akong ganun i even asked a guy friend if may ginagawa ba kong extra special sabi niya wala namn kasalanan na daw nung guy yun. and alam **** nilang may bf ako. Ang hirap kasing iexplain kay bf na friends ko lang naman sila and i know he'll get mad. what am i suppose to do tatanggi nalang ako pag inaaya nila ko?

[artemisX]

of course.. i have several close girl friends.. i even invite them sometimes on pseudo dates and its no big deal really.

[vincex]

I didnt realize the risk im in until i read your messages. For me it doesnt matter what people think eventhough im the only girl in the group im not doing anything wrong naman, well aside from not telling my bf. I never let myself get drunk when im with them. Actually one of the guys like me but as long as im not showing any interest in him then im fine. Thats my another problem everytime ill be friendly with a guy they always end up liking me more than friends. It happened 3x already im not really sure why.

As long as you are attractive and show some "openness" to them, this will always happen. Just feel bad when they will no longer admire you.

As far as your bf is concerened, it is not his problem. Go and have guy friends. Guy friends are more advantageous.

[The Kryptonian]

pwede yan.

pero pag may alak, laging may balak, kahit gano pa kabait ang mga yan. nagsasalita mga TT naming mga lalake lalo na kapag nakainom.

[collegestudent]

As long as you are attractive and show some "openness" to them, this will always happen. Just feel bad when they will no longer admire you.

As far as your bf is concerened, it is not his problem. Go and have guy friends. Guy friends are more advantageous.

What do you mean guy friends are more advantageous? Its funny coz having guy friends made me realize how lucky iam with my bf.

[vincex]

Guys are usually more activity oriented than girls. You have more chances to evolve more assuming your relations with men aren't "date oriented".

Girls among girls have less activity orientation. Meaning, less evolutionary.

You have less chances to improve.
Girls put too much premium and priority on relations.

[collegestudent]

Guys are usually more activity oriented than girls. You have more chances to evolve more assuming your relations with men aren't "date oriented".

Girls among girls have less activity orientation. Meaning, less evolutionary.

You have less chances to improve.
Girls put too much premium and priority on relations.

I have to agree with you on this one. Im learning a lot when im with them and got to ask guy questions, i now know how to react on sensitive things like sex talk, when they go to certain clubs and their view on relationships. Its like research to me. also what should i do if the guy who likes me is making me feel uncomfortable? He's not talking to me when we're in a group and talks to me when nobody else is there?

[vincex]

I have to agree with you on this one. Im learning a lot when im with them and got to ask guy questions, i now know how to react on sensitive things like sex talk, when they go to certain clubs and their view on relationships. Its like research to me. also what should i do if the guy who likes me is making me feel uncomfortable? He's not talking to me when we're in a group and talks to me when nobody else is there?

hay naku. focus on the other aspects of your interaction with guys. See what you pointed out? THE RELATION ASPECT. Take advantage of the other things you can learn from guys. Not necessarily relations. ex. be involved in their activities.

the question is why are you uncomfortable with the guy? is there a problem with him?

sometimes it is a function of group dynamics.

[collegestudent]

hay naku. focus on the other aspects of your interaction with guys. See what you pointed out? THE RELATION ASPECT. Take advantage of the other things you can learn from guys. Not necessarily relations. ex. be involved in their activities.

the question is why are you uncomfortable with the guy? is there a problem with him?

sometimes it is a function of group dynamics.

Ok i got you. Uncomfortable since he keeps on staring at me and one of them already noticed and started to tease us. His always walking beside me and not talking. One time he asked me if im ok and one of them said? Ano yun? Ano yung sinasabi mo kay collegestudent? sabi niya wala, then left me. Yung mga ganung awkward moments. That was the same thing happened to the other guy i befriend with. Theres a possibility of friendship there but since they started to like me yun nagiging awkward na. The last guy has a gf pa nun we could have been friends but i guess nahiya na siya sakin kasi before sinasabi nyang miss niya ko and started to fall. Ayaw ko na sanang maulit yun. What should i do ba? What do you mean function of group dynamics?

[gotta lick it]

some do not understand that platonic relationships do happen merely because they go beyond intimacy

[farkas]

im in a field that mostly guys are working. There are a couple of girls in our team but i dont really like them that much. I do have a bf but i like to hangout with guys eventhough im the only girl in the group. I havent told my bf that im hanging out with them like drinking etc. Is that fine? They really are good guys and i literally treat them as my friends. They always invite me if they want to drink or just hang out.

you take care of yourself. pag ang tao nakainom na, kahit gaano kabait yan, d mo alam kaya niyang gawin. tapos, puro boys pa kainuman mo.

[Nils]

I have to agree with you on this one. Im learning a lot when im with them and got to ask guy questions, i now know how to react on sensitive things like sex talk, when they go to certain clubs and their view on relationships. Its like research to me. also what should i do if the guy who likes me is making me feel uncomfortable? He's not talking to me when we're in a group and talks to me when nobody else is there?

Ok i got you. Uncomfortable since he keeps on staring at me and one of them already noticed and started to tease us. His always walking beside me and not talking. One time he asked me if im ok and one of them said? Ano yun? Ano yung sinasabi mo kay collegestudent? sabi niya wala, then left me. Yung mga ganung awkward moments. That was the same thing happened to the other guy i befriend with. Theres a possibility of friendship there but since they started to like me yun nagiging awkward na. The last guy has a gf pa nun we could have been friends but i guess nahiya na siya sakin kasi before sinasabi nyang miss niya ko and started to fall. Ayaw ko na sanang maulit yun. What should i do ba? What do you mean function of group dynamics?

if you're already uncomfortable with the situation, bakit hindi mo sabihin diretsos sa kanya pag naguusap kayo... "pare, kaibigan lang turing ko sa inyo, may bf ako, konting respeto naman" masabihan ka man na feelingera or whatever at least nilinaw mo sa kanya kung ano ang turing mo sa kanya, malinaw at para wag nang magtangka.

[vincex]

Ok i got you. Uncomfortable since he keeps on staring at me and one of them already noticed and started to tease us. His always walking beside me and not talking. One time he asked me if im ok and one of them said? Ano yun? Ano yung sinasabi mo kay collegestudent? sabi niya wala, then left me. Yung mga ganung awkward moments. That was the same thing happened to the other guy i befriend with. Theres a possibility of friendship there but since they started to like me yun nagiging awkward na. The last guy has a gf pa nun we could have been friends but i guess nahiya na siya sakin kasi before sinasabi nyang miss niya ko and started to fall. Ayaw ko na sanang maulit yun. What should i do ba? What do you mean function of group dynamics?

I get it. Since the person likes you, he can't be quite himself or is unsure about your reactions and is playing safe. He's not in his natural mode. Also, like i mentioned in group dynamics, he can only summon up what is left of his "confidence" to interact with you without the disruptions of other parties.

This shouldn't be a problem. Heck, this kind of crap happens to me as well. It just so happens I have to remind myself NOT TO CARE so I can interact more openly with some people that i like.

Don't let that stop you from making guy friends. I have girl friends who act the same way with me. But even if they get tameme as well, I make it a point to take the initiative and "break the ice" of interaction so they wont be tameme anymore.

[collegestudent]

if you're already uncomfortable with the situation, bakit hindi mo sabihin diretsos sa kanya pag naguusap kayo... "pare, kaibigan lang turing ko sa inyo, may bf ako, konting respeto naman" masabihan ka man na feelingera or whatever at least nilinaw mo sa kanya kung ano ang turing mo sa kanya, malinaw at para wag nang magtangka.

Wouldnt that make the situation worse? If sinabihan ko siya ng ganun? Diba lalong magiging awkward yun?

[collegestudent]

I get it. Since the person likes you, he can't be quite himself or is unsure about your reactions and is playing safe. He's not in his natural mode. Also, like i mentioned in group dynamics, he can only summon up what is left of his "confidence" to interact with you without the disruptions of other parties.

This shouldn't be a problem. Heck, this kind of crap happens to me as well. It just so happens I have to remind myself NOT TO CARE so I can interact more openly with some people that i like.

Don't let that stop you from making guy friends. I have girl friends who act the same way with me. But even if they get tameme as well, I make it a point to take the initiative and "break the ice" of interaction so they wont be tameme anymore.

Nakakapagod narin kasi yung palaging ganun na im always breaking the ice. Diba dapt guys nga nagbbreak ng ganung awkwardness?

Dont get me wrong but in some point i do like the attention na rin being with guys im always special.

[barelythere]

@ collegestudent

pasingit lang ah. That depends on how you deliver it, say it with a little humor.

I agree with nils. It may get awkward but atleast nasabi mo kung ano ba talaga, what's the real score at kung hanggang saan lang ba talaga dapat.

Also aren't there any other things or activities that you can do with them apart from "inuman session". I mean seriously, may bf ka diba kahit sabihin pa nating you're just after the fun of hanging out with these guys, iba pa rin eh...Iba ang impluwensiyang nabibigay ng alak.

[collegestudent]

@ collegestudent

pasingit lang ah. That depends on how you deliver it, say it with a little humor.

I agree with nils. It may get awkward but atleast nasabi mo kung ano ba talaga, what's the real score at kung hanggang saan lang ba talaga dapat.

Also aren't there any other things or activities that you can do with them apart from "inuman session". I mean seriously, may bf ka diba kahit sabihin pa nating you're just after the fun of hanging out with these guys, iba pa rin eh...Iba ang impluwensiyang nabibigay ng alak.

di lang naman puro inom yun lang naman nabanggit ko. magkakawork din naman kami but yung mga out of town trips di ako sumasama. Pagnagkakayaan like movies yun sumasama ko. Atsaka like i said alam naman nilang may bf ako. Kasi sinasabi nila uy wag ganyan magagalit bf niyan ni collegestudent. Yung mga ganun.

For the quiet guy (ayaw ko ng paulit uliting tong word na to - who
liked me- kaya quiet guy nalang) he started talking to me na with no awkwardness sa work, nagjojoke, pag lang talaga kasama namin yung ibang guys.

[ainabrual]

no.
if there is attraction, even at the slightest level.
admiration, okey.friendship, possible.
attraction. no.
why?because there will come a time, that you'll just pine over the person wishing you'd be liked.
or was it just me?
hehehe.

[vincex]

di lang naman puro inom yun lang naman nabanggit ko. magkakawork din naman kami but yung mga out of town trips di ako sumasama. Pagnagkakayaan like movies yun sumasama ko. Atsaka like i said alam naman nilang may bf ako. Kasi sinasabi nila uy wag ganyan magagalit bf niyan ni collegestudent. Yung mga ganun.

For the quiet guy (ayaw ko ng paulit uliting tong word na to - who
liked me- kaya quiet guy nalang) he started talking to me na with no awkwardness sa work, nagjojoke, pag lang talaga kasama namin yung ibang guys.

A sure way to break this ice is mag bastusan kayo. Tell green stupid jokes and use bastos terms of endearment etc... I do this with a lot of pretty girls. Some stick it out to become my friend, some are just purely interested in me and when they think I'm not they're type (too bastos? lack of mystery? know I'm not making ligaw?) then they vanish.

The fact is, I don't really care if I have friends who I am attracted to since I have tons of girl friends who are attractive. If they don't want to be more casual friends with me then its they're problem. I have many other people to drag along and bug.

[the_baroness]

tungkol naman sa pakikipag-inuman sa mga guys na ikaw lang ang girl, not a good idea, NEVER! Bukod sa hindi magandang tingnan, hindi rin safe yan, puro pa sila lalake, ano laban mo, paano kung nalasing ka? Okay lang yun labas lang kayo, gala, nood movies, pero yung inuman talaga, wag ka sasama girl, no?

This is true. I am an only girl, having grown up with brothers, dad and uncles and having occasional beer sessions during family get-togethers (which was often) sort of was normal for me. My mother was also a tiger mom. So when I grew up and became a careerwoman, I was very aggressive, high-strung and think and act like a man to keep up with the boys while still wearing my trench coat and four-inch heels in the workplace. In short, I'm very feminine-looking but I speak and think (and sometimes act) like a man, which I think some men find intimidating to consider me a gf material, but they see me as one of the boys.

Of course, some people are worried but I always assure them I can handle my alcohol. I can drink and still drive. And I even take some drinking buddies home. They say its not just the alcohol and drunk driving: Its me being the only girl in the group. Hindi nga daw magandang tignan. I said, "WTF. I even go to beerhouses with them and ako pa nga ang pumipili ng GRO nila sa aquarium!" That was how platonic I viewed my friendship with the boys. They're like my brothers, I always say.

Or so I thought. And yeah, I wished I knew this before. I'm NBSB because I think I have too much testosterone, owing to the strong male influence while growing up (til now). So I didn't realize that what I felt for a certain kabarkada was already attraction and when something happened one drunken evening that I didn't have my car, I knew that boys will always be boys and iba talaga pag nakainom and may konting feelings na nadevelop through the years. And the sad thing is, things became awkward between me and the guy and our friendship was never the same. We still talk once in awhile re: management stuff and networking connections, but I don't drink anymore with them. I wished I have known this that even if they're like my brothers, pag may feelings na nadedevlop, wag na iinom na mag-isa lang na girl na panay guys ang kasama. Dapat may kasama na other girls or f@g hags sa group.