RoT Jokes!

[newbiebaby]

An atheist was walking through the woods one day, admiring all that evolution had created. Suddenly he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. Turning to look, he saw an 8 foot grizzly bear beginning to charge toward him.
He ran as fast as he could down the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was rapidly closing on him Running faster yet, he looked again and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding in his chest. He tried to run faster. But alas, he tripped and fell to the ground.
As he rolled over to pick himself up, the bear was right over him, reaching for him with its left paw and raising its right paw to strike him. The atheist cried..."GOD DAMN!..."
Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. Even the river stopped moving. As a brilliant light shone upon the man, a thunderous voice came from the sky.
"YOU DENY MY EXISTENCE FOR ALL THESE YEARS, TEACH OTHERS THAT I DON'T EXIST AND EVEN CREDIT CREATION TO SOME COSMIC ACCIDENT. NOW, YOU EXPECT ME TO HELP YOU AND DAMN THIS BEAR? AM I TO COUNT YOU AS A CHRISTIAN?"
The atheist looked directly into the light and said, "Why don't you try and make the bear a Christian?"
"VERY WELL," said the voice. The light went out. The river ran. The sounds of the forest resumed. ... and the bear dropped down to his knees, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, thank you for this food which I am about to receive."

[Iscrotum]

An atheist was walking through the woods one day, admiring all that evolution had created. Suddenly he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. Turning to look, he saw an 8 foot grizzly bear beginning to charge toward him.
He ran as fast as he could down the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was rapidly closing on him Running faster yet, he looked again and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding in his chest. He tried to run faster. But alas, he tripped and fell to the ground.
As he rolled over to pick himself up, the bear was right over him, reaching for him with its left paw and raising its right paw to strike him. The atheist cried..."GOD DAMN!..."
Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. Even the river stopped moving. As a brilliant light shone upon the man, a thunderous voice came from the sky.
"YOU DENY MY EXISTENCE FOR ALL THESE YEARS, TEACH OTHERS THAT I DON'T EXIST AND EVEN CREDIT CREATION TO SOME COSMIC ACCIDENT. NOW, YOU EXPECT ME TO HELP YOU AND DAMN THIS BEAR? AM I TO COUNT YOU AS A CHRISTIAN?"
The atheist looked directly into the light and said, "Why don't you try and make the bear a Christian?"
"VERY WELL," said the voice. The light went out. The river ran. The sounds of the forest resumed. ... and the bear dropped down to his knees, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, thank you for this food which I am about to receive."

But the atheist was overweight and the bear decided not to eat him because he was watching his cholesterol levels.

[tonton]

RETXED: James, tulungan mo nga ako sa translation. Ano sa tagalog ang EMERGENCY EXIT?

JAMES: MADALING LABASAN!

[jeric92002]

^hahaha pwede kuya ton!

[tripl3]

[retxed]

TONTON: hala! flat ang gulong sa puwitan ng kotse ko. pano nga ba i-translate sa english ang " paki hanginan ang gulong ko sa likuran"

GEN. JAMES: napakadali naman ng dilemma mo parekoy! "please blowjob my rubberband at my butt.

[tonton]

TONTON: hala! flat ang gulong sa puwitan ng kotse ko. pano nga ba i-translate sa english ang " paki hanginan ang gulong ko sa likuran"

GEN. JAMES: napakadali naman ng dilemma mo parekoy! "please blowjob my rubberband at my butt.

james na james!!

[tonton]

^hahaha pwede kuya ton!

dapat magpost ka rin ng kabastusan dito.

[tonton]

Sa isang punerarya..

JAMES: Tara na, retxed, aalis na tayo!
RETXED: Kararating lang natin ah!
JAMES: Naku mahirap nang maiwan. Basahin mo o: "Remains wll be cremated."

[tonton]

Nasusunog ang isang sinihan...

JERIC: Maam, di2 po kayo dumaan!

CSCO80: Anong akala mo sa akin, tanga? Hoy, fire exit yan! Dyan lumalabas ang apoy!

[zecco]

hi papi!

[tonton]

BABY JAMES: tay paglaki ko gusto ko maging katulad mo

PAPA PYROS: gusto mo din maging DOKTOR katulad ko?

BABY JAMES: di po tay, gusto ko ding tirahin si YAYA katulad mo .

[krams2]

uki payn mga bully kayu kay preacher James kakaberday lang eh hehe

[retxed]

EBRAGAIS: pareng RSYEL, pakikuha mo nga un ano sa cubicle ko!
RSYEL: ang bastos mo naman!
EBRAGAIS: huh? bakit ano ba sinabi ko?
RSYEL: kunin ko un ano sa pubic hair mo

[tiburcioSais]

updated + 2....

mistervontrier
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[tiburcioSais]

mistervontrier
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+ _BANSHEE_ +_ jaoueichi_ + _wimpy_kid_ + _galacticninja_ + _Zeitgeist699_ + _AurelianoBuendia_

[jeric92002]

Nasusunog ang isang sinihan...

JERIC: Maam, di2 po kayo dumaan!

CSCO80: Anong akala mo sa akin, tanga? Hoy, fire exit yan! Dyan lumalabas ang apoy!

ba't nadamay ako dyan kuya ton gagantihan kita

Si tonton akala niya na crush siya ni csc080, isang sosyal at magandang babae…Ipinagmalaki pa niya ito sa kanyang mga ka brad sa ROT

tonton:Uy! alam mo ba,crush ako ni csc080…
James:Weh?Talaga!Pano mo nasabi?
tonton:Sabi niya kasi HOT daw ako parang sili!!!
James:Woah!Pano yung pagkasabi niya?!
tonton:Sabi niya kasi sakin na “YOUR SO SILLY!!!”, dba?

[tonton]

[Pharisee2]

pwe mag silayas nga kayo rito!

Pwe! ikaw ang lumayas!

[tiburcioSais]

Three contractors are bidding to fix the White House fence. One from the Philippines, another from Mexico and an American. They go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The American contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. “Well,” he says, “I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me.”

The Mexican contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me.”

The Filipino contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers: '$2,700.”

The official, incredulous, says, “What? You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure? How do you expect me to consider your service with that bid??

“Easy,” the Pinoy explains, “$1,000 for you, $1,000 for me and we hire the guy from Mexico.” The next day, the Pinoy and the Mexican are working on the Fence.

======================================

Q. What's the difference between corruption in the US and corruption in the Philippines?

A. In the U.S. they go to jail. In the Philippines, they go to the U.S.