A Story of a Taken for Granted Single Mom

[boyboy_palaboy]

TS..just think positive thoughts...para sa baby mo//call some hotlines..if you feel sad or frustrated call 700club asia for counseling

[viv]

wondermom, i know you're in a very difficult situation right now. pregnancy makes you very vulnerable so don't take the harsh posts here personally. maybe they haven't been to the situation where ur now in and their culture is just different from ours that's why they dont understand. FA soldier, condoms in PI is not as used as in US. i know it should be but its one thing thats difficult to comprehend in the pinoy culture. some girls think that its an insult for their bf's to use it cos they dont work in bars or something to that effect. its so wrong i know but common filipinos do have that thinking. besides, its too late for that preach. if she accidentally become preggy again, then il be by ur side saying the same things.

as i was saying TS, if ur preggy, ur emotions are high and ur too sensitive. it will be ur nature to look for somebody to take care of u. thats normal. but u have to accept the fact that ur situation is not normal. thats why u have to be doubly strong. accept the fact also that this is just a phase. soon, ul come back to ur normal, sensible self and ul realize that u dont need the father who will just add headache and misery to ur busy life as a mom.

they say the easiest part of motherhood is pregnancy. so be prepared to be physically, emotionally and financially tired. stop longing for that man. just concentrate on the baby. ul be doing him/her a favor by not being with that kind of father. i dont have to say this cos i know it will happen, but ul get ur strength from your baby angel and trust me, the love from ur child will be enough.

[~gIrLnXtDoOr~]

most probably the ts already gave birth. jan13 yung last nyang post.if ever nga, well, congrats!

[mean_jolene]

Nanganak na si wondermom...

[DokTots]

to the TS,

with regards to your ex E J A C U L A T I N G inside you,

wala tayong magagawa,

BOYS will be BOYS

[adiposethoughts]

^^ speaking of eja cul ati-on, i just found out that my ex of two years whom i broke up late 2009 is now married and with a newborn kid.

good job, dear ex



sorry off topic.


wondermum. we hope you're okay now. they say may post partum depression pa daw yan. hingi ka lang ng tulong sa mga friends and family mo. pag walang gustong tumulong sayo, andito kame

[hardylaine]

^^ speaking of eja cul ati-on, i just found out that my ex of two years whom i broke up late 2009 is now married and with a newborn kid.

good job, dear ex



sorry off topic.


wondermum. we hope you're okay now. they say may post partum depression pa daw yan. hingi ka lang ng tulong sa mga friends and family mo. pag walang gustong tumulong sayo, andito kame

uyyy... bitter?? hahahaha.. joke lang..

makakatagpo ka din ng guy na mabubuntis ka.. wait mo lang.. sya na yung hinihintay mong asawa... naks!

[astro_cigarette]

simple piece of advise, kick him in the nuts when you see him. seriously..

[wondermom]

yeah.. i already gave birth to an adorable baby girl.. it's an amazing feeling that i have my daugther with me.. it's tiring kase nakakapuyat pero it's all worth it.

i can't say if i am fine with the situation. sino bang ina ang di gusto na buo ang family diba? the father used to visit his child whenever he wants. walang issue sa kin yun kase ayoko dumating yung time na susumbatan ako ng anak ko pag inilayo ko sya sa father nya. i'm just civil to him. no casualties. i don't ask questions or what so ever. halos lahat ng gastos, sa kin. nagbibigay sya pero it's like 1/8 lang yata ang share nya. di na rin ako nag aask sa kanya. sabi nga nila, mas masakit yung itakwil ka ng sarili mong anak pagdating ng tamang panahon.

sa mga taong parang sinisisi pa ko about my story, thank you for making me stronger. your criticism is an insipiration. sa mga nakaka intindi ng situation ko, thank you so much. di ako naghahanap ng kakampil. i just shared my story kase wala akong ibang outlet. di ko na kelangan mag kuwento sa mga kaibigan ko kase nakita nila ang totoong nangyari. i just want you guys to wish me luck and i'm praying na sana God will give me all the strength that I need to overcome this..

[wondermom]

Maraming nainvolve at nasaktan or you spoke to everyone looking for sympathy kaya maraming nakialam?

So magmamatigasan kayo diyan sa office ninyo. That should be interesting. Kaya mo ba yung on a daily basis you will witness him living his single life while you struggle being a single mom? Besides, I doubt that you will file a case against him because you know he might disappear completely and you have no chance of chasing after him anymore.

Being an irresponsible asshole is his choice. Wala kang magagawa dun. Now keeping your child is your choice so no amount of crying to the high heavens, wishing karma etc will take away the fact that you are at this point primarily responsible for that child you are carrying.

So you say magsasampa ka ng kaso if he doesn't support you? May pera ka for the lawyer and filing fees at may time ka to do that? Paano kung nag-demand siya ng DNA test? You have money for that? What about when the kid is out, you think you'll have time to chase after him when you'll need to care for the kid and earn money at the same time? If the court after x number of years after so and so hearing, actually mandates that you get child support good for you, pero you should realize na walang sistema ang Pilipinas to force that guy to support your child. Again you are at this point primarily responsible for that child you are carrying.

As much as I agree that the guy is a total twat, (yeah yeah pareho kayong nasarapan) but again you are the one who got pregnant and the one who decided to keep the child therefore have to be responsible of that child you are carrying.

You have to stop clutching on to this whole victim mentality because if you waste your time and money chasing after someone who clearly doesn't want to have anything to do with you and your child, ang kawawa yung anak mo.

Otherwise if you can't raise your child yourself, give it up for adoption.

----

hahaha! natawa ako dito sa reply mo dude.. you're asking if I have money? I don't want to be rude or mayabang pero kung yun lang ang tanong mo, kaya kong sagutin na meron. di nya kelangan ipa DNA test ang anak ko dahil photocopy nya. pamabayad sa lawyer, i have all that. you might not asked this pero for all you know, sa isang prestigious hospital ako nag deliver ng baby ko.. ang share nya? 10% lang ng bill ko.. wahahah!

tama sila, bakit ko nga iisipin na kawawa ako? eh sya pala itong TALUNAN! dahil wala syang ginawa kundi mang iwan ng babaeng naanakan nya. duh?!

bakit ko nga ba gugustuhin na makisama sa isang napaka laking TALUNAN??

[Ice Burn]

Yun naman pala eh.

Tama bakit mo ba iniisip na kawawa ka at bakit mo gugustuhing sumama sa isang lalaking talunan?

Hinde ka kawawa, may pera ka naman pala at kaya mong palakihin ang anak mo mag-isa. Hinde mo kailangan maghabol na parang pulubi sa walang kwentang yan. Palakihin mo ang anak mo the best way you can.

Good luck. Kaya mo yan at kapag napalaki mo ng maayos ang anak mo, you will look back with pride at yourself.

[ForAllofMyLife]

****

nope.he does'nt look like dennis..wala syang puwedeng pagkumaparahan na artista.. artista ang ugali kase magaling umarte with matching cry pa nung unang nalaman na buntis ako. pero ang looks, nah!

sa description mo,, di ako makapaniwalang nagpa buntis ka sa ganyang lalaki... may pera ka pa naman..tsk tsk,,,

kung malaki birdie at hustler pa sa bed..sana inenjoy mo na lang.. hangga magsawa kayo.. kung ayaw mabuntis ,,madami paraan..

too late na,,, at ayan na baby girl mo... CONGRATS

[F-A Soldier]

Pffft. Parang kami pa ang nagsimula ng problema. "Make me stronger"

Ano gusto mo sabihin namen gusto mong marinig? Na hindi ka ang umasa, hindi ikaw ang kumerengkeng na hindi ka ang bumukaka, na hindi ka gumamet ng contraceptive, na alam mo naman barely know the guy lang, at ikaw din ang choose to keep it.

You're an adult, you should've know that coming to you. You should be an adult and accept your own faults instead of blaming others.

But good luck and be mature for your daughter's sake.

And next time bubukaka ka condoms are cheap naman, alalahanin mo lang Neng, ang daming pera mo naman pala. Sayang sana ginamit nyo sa education. Tsk tsk.

[purpleheadd07]

----

bakit ko nga ba gugustuhin na makisama sa isang napaka laking TALUNAN??

gawin mo itong mantra, TS. then move on in life, love your baby, love yourself. tama na iyang rants na iyan, ang wrinkles hihihi.

i remember this homily on those rare occasions i went to church legal ang abortion sa New York kaya they also have the most number of abortions in the US. the priest was saying how alarming that could be but also to open up our hearts, to be more forgiving to those who've had an abortion or had unplanned pregnancies. that if you find yourself pregnant turn to those people who could support and love and understand you and not to those who automatically judge and throw invictives at you. and if you were in that church that minute, learn to forgive yourself and know that ours is a loving, forgiving God.

i almost wanted to cry when i heard this and was clutching on to my sisters hand beside me. i'm a single parent too, hindi nga madali. but my family was most supportive of me and they never left my side naman. as to that hinayupak na guy, nah, sayang lang ang pagra rant mo. ang ganda ng buhay, ang ganda ko pa din kaya kahit naging t@nga lang once in my life.

sa tagal ko na dito sa pex, i've learned and observed not to rant this much pag single parent ka, for sure uulanin ka ng batikos lalabas mas kasalanan mo pa.

sa parenting 101 may single parents thread dun, baka gusto mo din mag share dun. dito kasi sa LCM maiinit ulo ng mga tao dito.

anyway, enjoy your little girl, TS. hayaan mo na iyang ex mo na may asawa naman pala.

but then again, stories thread nga ito, i'm sure the TS naman isn't asking for advices.

[wondermom]

Pffft. Parang kami pa ang nagsimula ng problema. "Make me stronger"

Ano gusto mo sabihin namen gusto mong marinig? Na hindi ka ang umasa, hindi ikaw ang kumerengkeng na hindi ka ang bumukaka, na hindi ka gumamet ng contraceptive, na alam mo naman barely know the guy lang, at ikaw din ang choose to keep it.

You're an adult, you should've know that coming to you. You should be an adult and accept your own faults instead of blaming others.

But good luck and be mature for your daughter's sake.

And next time bubukaka ka condoms are cheap naman, alalahanin mo lang Neng, ang daming pera mo naman pala. Sayang sana ginamit nyo sa education. Tsk tsk.

gawin mo itong mantra, TS. then move on in life, love your baby, love yourself. tama na iyang rants na iyan, ang wrinkles hihihi.

i remember this homily on those rare occasions i went to church legal ang abortion sa New York kaya they also have the most number of abortions in the US. the priest was saying how alarming that could be but also to open up our hearts, to be more forgiving to those who've had an abortion or had unplanned pregnancies. that if you find yourself pregnant turn to those people who could support and love and understand you and not to those who automatically judge and throw invictives at you. and if you were in that church that minute, learn to forgive yourself and know that ours is a loving, forgiving God.

i almost wanted to cry when i heard this and was clutching on to my sisters hand beside me. i'm a single parent too, hindi nga madali. but my family was most supportive of me and they never left my side naman. as to that hinayupak na guy, nah, sayang lang ang pagra rant mo. ang ganda ng buhay, ang ganda ko pa din kaya kahit naging t@nga lang once in my life.

sa tagal ko na dito sa pex, i've learned and observed not to rant this much pag single parent ka, for sure uulanin ka ng batikos lalabas mas kasalanan mo pa.

sa parenting 101 may single parents thread dun, baka gusto mo din mag share dun. dito kasi sa LCM maiinit ulo ng mga tao dito.

anyway, enjoy your little girl, TS. hayaan mo na iyang ex mo na may asawa naman pala.

but then again, stories thread nga ito, i'm sure the TS naman isn't asking for advices.

---

thank you sis for the comment. actually, i shared my story not to look for people who will accuse me. na touched din ako sa homily na na share mo dito. and you're right, lumabas na ako pa talaga ang may kasalanan. akala nila, pera lang ang importante. what i just want to tell is, mas mabuti kung magkakaroon ng buong family ang baby ko diba? actually, walang asawa ang father ng baby ko.

and naging kasalanan ko lang talaga, nagmahal ako.. yun lang.. nagmahal ako ng totoo at sobra sobra.

[wondermom]

Pffft. Parang kami pa ang nagsimula ng problema. "Make me stronger"

Ano gusto mo sabihin namen gusto mong marinig? Na hindi ka ang umasa, hindi ikaw ang kumerengkeng na hindi ka ang bumukaka, na hindi ka gumamet ng contraceptive, na alam mo naman barely know the guy lang, at ikaw din ang choose to keep it.

You're an adult, you should've know that coming to you. You should be an adult and accept your own faults instead of blaming others.

But good luck and be mature for your daughter's sake.

And next time bubukaka ka condoms are cheap naman, alalahanin mo lang Neng, ang daming pera mo naman pala. Sayang sana ginamit nyo sa education. Tsk tsk.

---

you keep on insisting about condom, etc.. hahaa! it's not usual sa mag bf at mag gf na gumamit non pag nag do. and you keep on blaming me. i shared my story para kahit pano gumaan ang pakiramdam ko. pero you keep on judging me. oh common. i don't need harsh reaction. marami kang puwedeng basahin dito and mag comment ka don if you want. being rude and harsh to me won't help.

[F-A Soldier]

I'm quiet sick and busy at the moment but I will try to answer this in Tagalog so you'd understand me as much as you possible.

First off, you don't have to explain to me 'why' you made the thread. But neither are these post we make are here to be judgmental; they are not for malicious purposes. Girlfriend this is the internet, I don't know you, neither you, me. But you post here so we can tell you our opinion. And these are it. And these opinion aren't made because we are bias, well we all are, but it's from commonsensical analysis of what you posted that you have done.

Second, bakit condoms? Bakit? Tanonging mo sarile mo bakit ko pinopromote ang condoms. Kung nagstrict condom use ka ba, mahihirapan ka ba at magkakaroon ka ba ng unexpected pregnancy?

Third, I keep blaming you? Why do you keep blaming everyone else but youself? Bakit nirape ka ba? Meron bang nagsabi sayo na kapag nagsex ka sa isang lalake, walang chance na mabubuntis ka? Bata ka pa ba para hindi malaman ang mga ganitong katotohanan na hindi mo naman alam ng magsex ka?

Problema sa maraming babae eh ganito: gusto nila na itratong equal, pero gusto nila lamang na ipunto ang problema sa iba. Parang wala silang control sa buhay nila. Baket ang lalake lang ba ang gumustong makipagsex? Hindi ka nasarapan? Ang lalake lang ba ang may responsibilidad na hindi makabuntis?

Tapos ang 'usually hindi nagcocondom'...eh usually din, yung hindi nagcocontraceptive nabubuntis before they're ready. Pag tumalon ba ang mga gagang babae sa balon, tatalon ka din?

Sure nagmahal ka. Wala naman masama sa pagmamahal, esp. kung bf gf diba? At magtiwala. Wala ding masama sa pakikipagsex. Ang masama at ang problema ay basta ba bf gf, magbubuntis na? Eh kung hindi ang sagot mo, eh bakit hinayaan mo na you didn't take steps to not get pregnant? Love, sex, and trust...nothing wrong. But to take no precaution isn't part of being bf gf.

You barely knew the guy and you let him slip a naked **** in you? LOL, months before he had unprotected sex with you, he was having unprotected sex with someone else. How do you know he didn't pick up anything from her? Even if he loved you, what's to stop you from contracting diseases and or getting pregnant? Does true love stop all these? Ignorance.

There's love and there's stupidity. There's nothing wrong with love, but to 1. be stupid 2. keep blaming someones else for your problems like you don't live your life, and life just go over you, it's the retarded part.

It takes two to tango.

And I can say, nice things like: you can do it, congratulations, blah blah blah. But you'll never learn from it. If a child keep making mistakes, should you praise it? No.

The first part of learning is understanding you have made a personal mistake. I can sugarcoat it however you want, you can blame God, fate, the other guy, me, and everyone else for your mistake, but you will never learn until you finally tell yourself: I done fcked up.

And yes don't be sorry for anyone, be sorry for yourself. Then when you're done being sorry and pitying yourself, get up and learn from your mistake.

I'm not judging you, I didn't call you a slut. But you are: stupid. No offense. Stupid to make a mistake, but even stupider? Not to acknowledge your fault.

Be mature, an adult owns up to their errors, not pass the buck.

[sunfire]

Congrats on your new baby TS! May you learn from your mistakes and be a better person. Forgive yourself nalang and accept that you were weak, and promise yourself you will not let this happen to yourself again. I'm sure you already know what you've done wrong/stupid or are thinking what you should have done differently, but what's done is done and you just have to move on. Your baby will actually make you stronger, more responsible. Mahirap maging single mom kaya refrain nalang from any negativities and concentrate on your baby.

[evaone]

bilib ako sa courage mo, thats the attitude lakas lang ng loob para sa inyo ng baby mo. tama yon ipasa diyos mo na lang . i believe in karma.have a safe delivery and god bless you

[mean_jolene]

and naging kasalanan ko lang talaga, nagmahal ako.. yun lang.. nagmahal ako ng totoo at sobra sobra.[/QUOTE]

Tama ka yun nga ang naging kasalanan mo ang magmahal. Akalain ba natin na ganon ang mangyayari syempre nasa huli lagi ang pagsisisi. Pero swerte ka pa rin kasi kahit wala yung tatay ng anak mo kaya mo syang suportahan kasi may pera ka. At saka nasabi mo rin na ayaw mong magalit ang anak mo sa iyo pag dating ng araw kaya di mo sya pinagdadamot sa tatay nya... mabait ka pa rin. Kung sa akin yan lalo na ng sinabi nya na mas mabuting wag mong ituloy dahil wala syang buong pamilyang magigisnan, naku ni anino ng anak ko di ko ipapakita sa tatay nya! Anyway, congrats to your new baby at wag i-stress ang sarili sa mga walang kabagay-bagay!