Money Matters - Madami Siyang Utang

[jerseyvixen]

lol - notice how "monthsary" is with quotation marks - my opinion hasn't changed

[xBigoteAtBalbasx]

I know ha ha I'm just messin', hopin' and wishin'

[infinite_trial]

i expect him to pay for his own debts the way i handle mine. however, if for some reason he lost his job or other valid circumstances and he cannot pay for those debts, then i would "help" him settle it little by little. BUT, there's a condition...there's a limit on what i could give and he has to at least make an effort on how he's going to pay me back or resolve the problem and prevent this from happening again. pero kung luho lang naman nya yun nung binata sya, i would say...sorry hunny, you are alone in this! hehe

if i learn this prior to marriage i would find out his spending habits. baka mamaya magkabaon baon din kami sa utang kapag kasal na kami.

[jerseyvixen]

^yes! did he buy a $50,000 rolex watch last month with his credit card and paid the minimum? - does he have a savings account? does he have 401k? business interests? a brokerage account? money manager? is he a small online trader using scottrade? real property? properties? in short - full financial disclosure - it is absolutely important FOR BOTH PARTIES to know what they are bringing to the table AND WHAT THEY ARE SINGING UP FOR and that includes finances - both assets and liabilities - specially for people that are not exactly excited about the prospect of prenups [like me]

[xBigoteAtBalbasx]

All of these are easy to say but you guys are forgetting that we tend to do stup1d things when in love

[jerseyvixen]

^you're prollly right BaB - which make these discussions important to remind ourselves not to lose sight of the big picture when the moment arrives

[xBigoteAtBalbasx]

I've just remembered all the stup1d things I did in the name of love

[jerseyvixen]

live and learn

[blue_acid]

my ex had a lot of debt - thousands of dollars from cc loans and lawyer fees. i kinda knew about it when we got together but i still stayed with him. i even helped him make a spreadsheet on how he will be debt free in less than 2 years. but it made me seriously think about our future if ever with his spending habits and the effect of his debt on how he will provide and save for the future.

im not perfect, sometimes i dont pay my card in full but i am mostly debt free and spend within my monthly salary and i expect a man who can do the same or even better.

[infinite_trial]

All of these are easy to say but you guys are forgetting that we tend to do stup1d things when in love

haha yeah, i actually learned something from that stupid thing i did.

nagpahiram ako ng pera sa ex ko before sya pa ang galit. di daw nya hiniling yung pera, ako daw kusang nagbigay. putek, sabi ko...kung makita mo lang hitsura mo nun para kang matat@e na maiiyak dahil di mo alam san ka hihiram ng pera. ganun naman minsan pag mahal mo yung tao ayaw mo nakikita na nahihirapan, pero kung ikaw pa napapasama...e wag na!

[xBigoteAtBalbasx]

stup1d on hindsight but it felt like it was the right thing to do back then

kaya malabo yang pinagsasabi nyo dito sa thread na ito ha ha

[insomnia_queen]

haha yeah, i actually learned something from that stupid thing i did.

nagpahiram ako ng pera sa ex ko before sya pa ang galit. di daw nya hiniling yung pera, ako daw kusang nagbigay. putek, sabi ko...kung makita mo lang hitsura mo nun para kang matat@e na maiiyak dahil di mo alam san ka hihiram ng pera. ganun naman minsan pag mahal mo yung tao ayaw mo nakikita na nahihirapan, pero kung ikaw pa napapasama...e wag na!

Buti ka nga pera lang eh. Ako tinulungan ko siya maging legal dito sa US. TnT ang hinayupaks noong nakilala ko. Nung nagsara ang work niya wala siyang nakuhang ibang trabaho dahil wala siyang legal na papel so pinetition ko. Nung naghiwalay Kami siya pa ang may kapal magsalita na Hindi niya daw ako pinilit na tulungan siya. Sh3t, galing niyang nagsalita dahil may green card na siya.
Sarap sakalin ngay! Kaya siya nakakarma ngayon. Buti nga.
T@ng-na niya.

[infinite_trial]

it didn't actually feel right giving away that big amount of money LOL

[infinite_trial]

Buti ka nga pera lang eh. Ako tinulungan ko siya maging legal dito sa US. TnT ang hinayupaks noong nakilala ko. Nung nagsara ang work niya wala siyang nakuhang ibang trabaho dahil wala siyang legal na papel so pinetition ko. Nung naghiwalay Kami siya pa ang may kapal magsalita na Hindi niya daw ako pinilit na tulungan siya. Sh3t, galing niyang nagsalita dahil may green card na siya.
Sarap sakalin ngay! Kaya siya nakakarma ngayon. Buti nga.
T@ng-na niya.

ay muntik na din akong maging ganyan kaya. buti di natuloy yung kasal hehe...tapos yung nanay pa nya may pagka matapobs. kung alam lang nya san galing yung pinambayad nung anak nya sa tinitirhan nilang bahay.

in fairness, nagbayad naman. kaso yung mga sumbat na ganun ayaw ko maririnig.

[jerseyvixen]

stup1d on hindsight but it felt like it was the right thing to do back then

kaya malabo yang pinagsasabi nyo dito sa thread na ito ha ha

you mean it's malabo to try and know everything about man/woman we're about to marry?

I don't think so

[sleepless105]

my ex/estranged hubby is like that. he had a lot of debt. huge credit card bills and such.

i didn't have any intention of helping pay for something that didn't involve me. if he spent it on shopping for me, sige i'll help. pero most of his spendings were for gambling and to buy sh!t for his kid and the mom sa pinas.
hale fracking no did i help him pay for it. we have a joint bank account, as well as joint credit cards, but I gave it all back to him when we separated. aside from that, we also have our own bank and credit card accounts (not joint)
my money, my spending, my problem.

same goes for him. i couldn't care less if he goes bankrupt. which is likely to happen real soon.

I guess, not your kid?

[alvindm]

stup1d on hindsight but it felt like it was the right thing to do back then

kaya malabo yang pinagsasabi nyo dito sa thread na ito ha ha

So actually gave money? Hindi na binayaran? Hala!

[alvindm]

Buti ka nga pera lang eh. Ako tinulungan ko siya maging legal dito sa US. TnT ang hinayupaks noong nakilala ko. Nung nagsara ang work niya wala siyang nakuhang ibang trabaho dahil wala siyang legal na papel so pinetition ko. Nung naghiwalay Kami siya pa ang may kapal magsalita na Hindi niya daw ako pinilit na tulungan siya. Sh3t, galing niyang nagsalita dahil may green card na siya.
Sarap sakalin ngay! Kaya siya nakakarma ngayon. Buti nga.
T@ng-na niya.

Hahaha! I feel the fierce.

Are you ready to fall in love again?

[alvindm]

my ex had a lot of debt - thousands of dollars from cc loans and lawyer fees. i kinda knew about it when we got together but i still stayed with him. i even helped him make a spreadsheet on how he will be debt free in less than 2 years. but it made me seriously think about our future if ever with his spending habits and the effect of his debt on how he will provide and save for the future.

im not perfect, sometimes i dont pay my card in full but i am mostly debt free and spend within my monthly salary and i expect a man who can do the same or even better.

initial reaction is really to help your partner. pero frustrating kung hindi nya sinusunod yung agreed plans.. minsan masama pa ang loob pag pinapaalalahanan.

you said, ex mo sya.. did his financial situation had something to do with the break-up?

[xBigoteAtBalbasx]

you mean it's malabo to try and know everything about man/woman we're about to marry?

I don't think so

I mean, you can try and know everything but since you love the person, you might ignore the bad stuff. If the guy is buried in debt, you might even offer help to pay them off.

Reference implementation:

yah at first. pero all out spending siya pag sa sugal, at pagbili ng mga kung anu ano para sa anak niya. which is ok lang sa akin, pero yung "iba" na niyang pinapamili eh para dun sa nanay, para daw hindi "magtampo"...yah right. and I'm wonder woman.

so after that, manigas siya.

Buti ka nga pera lang eh. Ako tinulungan ko siya maging legal dito sa US. TnT ang hinayupaks noong nakilala ko. Nung nagsara ang work niya wala siyang nakuhang ibang trabaho dahil wala siyang legal na papel so pinetition ko. Nung naghiwalay Kami siya pa ang may kapal magsalita na Hindi niya daw ako pinilit na tulungan siya. Sh3t, galing niyang nagsalita dahil may green card na siya.
Sarap sakalin ngay! Kaya siya nakakarma ngayon. Buti nga.
T@ng-na niya.

haha yeah, i actually learned something from that stupid thing i did.

nagpahiram ako ng pera sa ex ko before sya pa ang galit. di daw nya hiniling yung pera, ako daw kusang nagbigay. putek, sabi ko...kung makita mo lang hitsura mo nun para kang matat@e na maiiyak dahil di mo alam san ka hihiram ng pera. ganun naman minsan pag mahal mo yung tao ayaw mo nakikita na nahihirapan, pero kung ikaw pa napapasama...e wag na!

It's good to know the financial health of your partner but before doing anything crazy hit your head with rock to think logically rather than emotionally he he