Discipline 101

[Sweetkay]

What do you Mommies do when your kids are acting up? Let's all be honest and admit that there are moments that we snap and get upset because they just won't behave.

Share how you discipline your child.

[F-A Soldier]

LOL my friend he makes his son do pushups when he's done something wrong.

My kids would be doing rifle drills on the grass (low crawls and three second rushes) and rifle squats.

[kim G]

easy soldier,they are just kids and they are yours!

Sa mga anak ko,from day 1 they are born,i do not tolerate unacceptable behaviours. sa aming mag asawa ako ang disciplinarian but in times of trouble,they come to me first bec they know,i love them unconditionally after all my disciplining.

say my eldest daughter keep running away from pag nasa public area kami when she was 3 or 4 y.o.nasawa na ako sa kakasaway,ng alam kong nakatingin sya sa akin,i walked out of the store without looking back.katakot nya!

and also one thing i learned from experiences,i always talked to my girls.i assume the situation like may kaibigan ang 13 y.o ko na puti,every time na pumapasok sa bahay namin,never say hi ,hello.so i talked to my daughter,i told her,i dont care if her friends doesn't acknowledge me bec i have nothing to do with them but i want her to acknowledge the home owner every time she steps in her friends house.I explained to her whatever she say or does will reflect on us as a family and she knows better.

i never hit bec all it says is hitting is ok.inaalis ko ang priviledges nila.
tv time is lessen,going with friends not allowable for some time,allowances disappear,at ang pinakamabigat,telephone and internet time.

ang bunso ko ,may pagka sassy.we call it verbal diarrhea.every time she say something unacceptable,i tell her off that second but in firm tone.tinatanong ko sya,ano pakiramdam mo pag sinabihan ka ng ganyan?and i tell her to think before answering me.

[F-A Soldier]

'Te I wish you were my mom, walang palo. LOL.

Pffft. I don't want my kids do grow up being pansies or rude for that matter. I will make them chop wood in the dead cold of winter if they act up.

[kim G]

There is nature and there is nurture and i seriously believe that nurture has more influence in kids formative life.

kaya soldier,if you want your kids(aha!) to be strong and independent human beings,love them like there is no tomorrow and discipline them like they need it yesterday.

[DELISYUS]

share ko lang
parenting ABCs
the challenge to fathers



Kay... I will admit I sometimes really have bad days where I really lack patience with my son. I spank but do not believe that spanking is the only way to discipline a child, it's just that sometimes, no amount of talking gets through to my son.

Sometimes, I sort of threaten, like when my son keeps kicking me and he wouldn't stop and I don't want to spank, I ask him if he wants me to start kicking him too. His father sometimes also hits him in a similar way he's hitting his father if he wouldn't listen nga.

I put him on timeouts. I remove privileges. When he's very unruly at bedtime, I don't read to him anymore because I tell him Mommy's energy was all spent up going after him, calling him, etc.

I don't lie so I don't threaten him with anything I won't deliver (which is why sometimes I scold hubs for threatening him with something we will never deliver naman, hehe). And when I have warned him that he's going to be spanked for continuing to misbehave, I really stress as I spank him that 1) Mommy doesn't lie, 2) Mommy hates having to spank him, 3) Mommy has to deliver her promise of spanking because it is very important that he believes Mommy

I also sometimes give him a choice... timeout corner or be put somewhere else (usually outside).

[kim G]

@delisyus, i agree with empty threats,actually i hate them.kids are so smart nowsadays,alam nila if you mean business kaya sa opinion ko empty threats do more harm than good.nawawala ang authority ng parents if you dont push through with your words.

[DELISYUS]

Oo... ako mas takot talaga na mawala ang authority ko (not that I am always right) coz I want my kids to know that their parents have always been intentional and we've always been after their own good... kumbaga, kami ang anchor eh... and for them to lose respect or trust or faith in us, that would be more catastrophic for them...

Oh and I do apologize when I know i've been really short with my son, same way that I also say sorry when I wasn't feeling well and I can't play... I try to always explain the WHYs of the discipline and really try my best to acknowledge every positive thing (with a focus on effort)

[kim G]

ako rin i say sorry if i know im in the wrong.

at saka pag nag uutos ako,i start with" can you do me a favor?" and very generous ako sa please and thank you.

they respond better if they are treated well and with respect.

[sneezy]

they respond better if they are treated well and with respect.

I very much agree with this.
Though I have lost my patience with my 4 year old, I haven't resorted to spanking him pa naman. Napagtataasan ko siya ng boses. Usually kapag nabibigla ako and it's a safety issue. Something that I am not very proud of.
When I see that he is on a roll and medyo mahirap sya to rein in, I ask him to go on a timeout. We don't really have a set time on how long the timeout is. It is up to him kung kailan na siya ready to behave in a manner that will be harmonious for everyone in the house. I believe that this teaches him how to self-regulate.
Kapag there are days naman na wala ako sa mood or medyo ubos ang pasensya ko, I give myself a timeout. I explain to him where I am at and thankfully, he understands.
Minsan kapag nadadala siya ng pagiging playful niya at parang hindi siya nakikinig, I go down his level, meet his eyes and hold his hand our shoulders to get his attention.

[Sweetkay]

I spank when needed. I used to spank at the smallest thing but my Mom sat me down and told me that it was wrong. I still spank but only when absolutely needed. Yung kelangan talaga magtanda sya ng bonggang bongga like when he tried jumping off the railing of the stairs. Mas okay na mapalo ko sya at mamarkahan kesa ulitin nya yun.

I'm trying and working hard on not spanking nor shouting. We have our daly night talks where we discuss what he did wrong and what he did right. We even have "tama o mali" sessions to reinforce it to him.

I know a lot of parents nowadays think no spanking is the way to go but sometimes, IMO, it is absolutely needed. Even the BIBLE says it ... "spare the rod, spoil the child."

Of course, kung kaya kunin sa no spanking, much better.

[Ice Burn]

At my kids' ages, it's usually it's me asking "you want mama to get angry?" Kasi they know it means either a timeout (standing in the corner) or taking away whatever they are playing with. That normally works. Kung di talaga nakikinig, the very last resort is the spanking.

I usually hug them once they behave and explain to them what they did wrong.

Pero my kids are sneaky. The moment they know they did something wrong and they know it, before I say anything they either run to me and embrace me or go stand in the corner or worse, run to the grandparents.

[sneezy]

As far as spanking goes, I think that is a decision that is to be made within the family, by the family. But to say that it is ABSOLUTELY needed is wrong, IMO. As we all know, you can take any scripture from the Bible and twist it in however way you want in order to make it applicable to your situation.
In fact, even this whole "spare the rod, spoil the child" claim has a different interpretation, depending on who you ask.
Case in point,
http://www.gentlechristianmothers.co...s/rodstudy.php

[DELISYUS]

Ice... I try to avoid using the "You want Mommy to get angry" bit (succesful ako 2/3 of the time) kasi i'd rather focus on house rules nga (no hitting, obey parents, etc) than on pleasing me... kasi what if he's seeking my attention nga and thinks anger is attention (or someday is a vindictive teener na who wants me to actually get upset)?

I also put myself on timeout... and when I am really raging na, I really give him to some other person lest I hit him real hard (or end up shaking him, haha).

I need work on my sumbat moments though... it's not really sumbat but sometimes, when I remind my son that he's already played, etc etc and that we listened so he also has to listen to us because not being listened to isn't a nice feeling, I think I come off as making sumbat... hahaha... when I want lang naman for him to realize na give and take dapat.

[kim G]

in regards to spanking

napalo ko one time and only time ang panganay ko when she was in grade 3 and up until now,she is graduating from university,i still feel the guilt.

there is a line between abuse and discipline and imo,spanking falls into abuse.i'd rather talk to them till their ears falls off their face than spank them.at saka iba ang discipline method ng anak na lalaki sa anak na babae.from listening to other parents,girls are battle of the minds at sa boys are more on physical actions.

[Sweetkay]

As they say, different strokes for different folks. I grew up and I was spanked. I don't feel that I was abused in any way whatsoever.

I want to clarify that I do not spank B every single day. Only when I deem it really needed and I have exhausted all measures.

Again, different strokes for different folks. I am also not using any scriptures as an excuse. This is my parenting style and I hope it will be respected. You will never hear me making judgement on how you parent your kid so let's return the favor shall we?

I opened this thread to help myself improve on how to better handle my son. I did not open this to get bashed or judged on. Some of you may be PERFECT, however, I am not. I am flawed but I am working on how to be a better Mom. Sana magsupport at wag manghusga.

Yun lang.

[Sweetkay]

And I'm not mad. A little bit hurt by the judgement. Yun lang po.

[sneezy]

Sweetkay, I was merely pointing out that yun nga, different strokes for different folks. You were the one who said that sometimes it is ABSOLUTELY needed. You were the one who started dealing with absolutes. Alam naman nating lahat that there is no one way to parent. Maraming approaches ang parenting. THere are those who spank and those who don't. Whatever works for you diba? Tutal hindi naman kami ang naninirahan sa bahay mo and only you can tell what the appropriate form of discipline is for your children. When you start quoting scripture as endorsing some form of discipline, you are therefore implying that we are not following what is written in the Bible. Most of us are Christians/Catholics so in a way, you are saying that we are not being true to our faith. I was merely pointing out a different interpretation on the same scripture/s that you are referring to.
No judgment. Just different points of view.

[Sweetkay]

Okay ... I was not using that quote and I never said nor implied na you were not acting out your faith. If that is how it came out, apologies for that. It was not my intention.

My son is super makulit ... sometimes to the point where he would hurt himself. Timeout, constant reminder, talks are not working so one time my Dad told me paluin mo ng isang beses pero yung magtatanda sya. I did it though it hurt me but it worked.

Since I made this, I do want to find other ways of dealing with my son. I mean na minsan kelangan like yung case ng son ko na he loved playing with shiny objects (knifes) and syempre hindi pwede. Itago namin but he will find it. After nung napalo ng isang matindi, he never did it again. That was my point lang.

He's 5 now and I am thinking, baka may ibang effective means. So, any suggestions aside from timeouts (they really do not work on B) will be much appreciated and needed.

[DELISYUS]

Kay...alam ko din, spanking works more when a child is younger than older, kasi nga the older they get, the more we can reason with them and the more they can learn na from natural, logical consequences... the more they understand bargaining... the more they can FEEL yung removal of privileges

I think I read somewhere din, since more physical ang boys, they really have to be parented a little differently... calling, telling them doesn't work, kelangan daw... you really go to them and make them face you... tipong you get them to stop doing what they're doing so they can focus on what you're saying otherwise they won't process it... so yung usual saway-saway won't work