Galante, KKB, how far is fair?

[JUST_JT]

Minsan kasi, galante lang yung guy sa dates, but after you marry him, wala na. Minsan naman, nangingilatis yung mga galante, so medyo barat sila sa dates, but once you marry them, prinsesa naman ang buhay ever after.

May guys na PEKE, galante sa dates, barat na after kasal.
May girls rin na PEKE, independent sa dates, but will make the guy pay all after kasal.

(I have nothing against any set-up, as long as its agreed upon by both, and its clear to both prior to getting married. mahirap ang hindi clear, hulaan..)

HOW DO WE KNOW IF THE DATING BEHAVIOR WILL TRANSLATE TO AFTER-THE -WEDDING BEHAVIOR?

WTF ... after marriage your finances become CONJUGAL ... what is this galante/kuripot BS for???

-Just_JT
@TS:you.appear.to.be.a.FREELOADING.LEECH.

[Amberness]

Guys and girls, what do you think is fair for you? Which set up are you more likely to subscribe to so you won't feel used and shortchanged?

1. the husband pays for everything, from basic needs to the luxury of wife and kids. The wife's salary goes straight to her personal bank account.
2. the husband pays for all needs/necessities, while luxury of wife is paid for by the girl.
3. 50-50 talaga. The husband splits the bills and necessities with the wife. They spend for their own luxuries.

3. our family was fortunate enough that my dad had the money to carry it all. but i do see that it would have worked out better if my mom helped out. she did, until my dad insisted she stay home na lang. now after 10 yrs, my mom works again and helps out on the bills. their relationship has never been better, with my mom not bored stuck at home and dad not feeling like a workhorse.

Follow up questionsgirls and guys)
1. Kapag KKB ba sa dates and courtship stage, KKB dapat hanggang after mag-asawa?
2. Kapag galante ba sa dating and courtship stage, does it follow galante hanggang after mag-asawa?

In short, how consistent is the "set-up" or "arrangement" between couples/lovers?

hmm this one is complicated... i say whichever works out in the beginning will probably expected to get a follow through. but then these times demand so much in the financial aspect (among others) so i think its better if both husband and wife help provide.

[ildiavolo]

I'd choose:

4. We pool our finances together by having a JOINT PERSONAL BANK ACCOUNT. We budget together and spend as we need and spend as we please.

I'll go with Tatang's choice here. Marriage is a definitely a teamwork.

[MissPicasso]

I'll go with option no. 4. It's the most reasonable, methinks.

[blue_tracer]

bilib ako sa mga posts ni threadstarter. kasama talaga ang investment 'no.

1. the husband pays for everything, from basic needs to the luxury of wife and kids. The wife's salary goes straight to her personal bank account.

2. the husband pays for all needs/necessities, while luxury of wife is paid for by the girl.

3. 50-50 talaga. The husband splits the bills and necessities with the wife. They spend for their own luxuries.

ang mahal naman.. wala na bang discount?

if the husband is incredibly rich.. i think condition no. 1 applies. he can even have a mistress or mistresses.

condition no. 2 applies when both are earning but the husband earns considerably higher than what his wife is earning.

no. 3. fair enough.


si tatang JUST_JT pasaway. ano naman yang no. 4 mo?

papano na lang ang budget sa motel at mga lakads sa labas sakaling may koolookadidang ka sa labas? where will the fund be coming from?

[intsik siomai]

WTF ... after marriage your finances become CONJUGAL ... what is this galante/kuripot BS for???

-Just_JT
@TS:you.appear.to.be.a.FREELOADING.LEECH.

Money is the #1 reason why couples separate. This is because its taboo to discuss and negotiate it. Looks, character, personality, love, are already given in searching for a spouse or bf/gf. But people are afraid to OPENLY DISCUSS and BE TRULY HONEST about money matters. thus, the thread.

Another thing, not all couples conjugal. Not all partnerships are also legal. May live-in na parang mag-asawa. Etc. I'm just exploring different scenarios and possibilities, and exploring how people feel and what they think is FAIR.

Sa ligawan at magnobyo stage, puro pakiramdaman. I think it's better to discuss and negotiate ASAP. Even, mag-asawa, pakiramdaman lang ng pakiramdaman. Bakit ang SEX, hindi na taboo i-discuss in detail, bakit MONEY, taboo pa rin? SEX and MONEY are equally dominant and felt in a relationship,ah. Minsan nga, once a week ang sex, pero money, araw-araw kelangan gumastos. Sex, di kelangan araw-araw. optional lang.

[ildiavolo]

si tatang JUST_JT pasaway. ano naman yang no. 4 mo?

papano na lang ang budget sa motel at mga lakads sa labas sakaling may koolookadidang ka sa labas? where will the fund be coming from?

oo nga no. hindi ko na realize yan ah. galing ni lolo blue ah. iba na talaga pag may edad, wise na.

siguro dapat 80% ng income e pool tapos yung remaining 20% para na sa personal ng mag asawa, bahala na sila sa kanilang share na 10% each, walang pakialaman.

[JUST_JT]

si tatang JUST_JT pasaway. ano naman yang no. 4 mo?

papano na lang ang budget sa motel at mga lakads sa labas sakaling may koolookadidang ka sa labas? where will the fund be coming from?

I'm not in the business of lying and f*cking around ... so my system is simplest....

-Just_JT
Only.small.d*cked.f*cktards.have.mistresses.

[amor19]

i dont want guys to spend money on me and not giving anything in return. i dont want to owe anyone anything. but when i go out with guys they insist to pay. if there's a 2nd date, 3rd, 4th and end up dating him, i make it to a point that we take turns or i pay/buy something else for him.


in the family, my dad handles the financial stuff. they have separate accounts but most of my mom's earning go to my dad's bank account since he's the one who pays the bills and all. and he also pays for my siblings' and mom's needs/wants.

[RedhotOne]

in the family, my dad handles the financial stuff. they have separate accounts but most of my mom's earning go to my dad's bank account since he's the one who pays the bills and all. and he also pays for my siblings' and mom's needs/wants.

Such an arrangement may work well for your parents but, in my opinion, it could leave the wife somewhat helpless to deal with financial decisions in the event her husband becomes incapacitated or dies. That's what happened to my grandma when grandpa, who managed all their financial affairs since thet got married, had a stroke.

I believe it would be better to let the wife have her own bank account (separate from the combined family account), line of credit, and handle her personal bills. That way she will also be able to generate her very own credit history and profile.

[blue_tracer]

oo nga no. hindi ko na realize yan ah. galing ni lolo blue ah. iba na talaga pag may edad, wise na.

siguro dapat 80% ng income e pool tapos yung remaining 20% para na sa personal ng mag asawa, bahala na sila sa kanilang share na 10% each, walang pakialaman.

sobra ka naman. nag kakaedad para mas totoo.


dapat yata unang-una pa lang sinabi mo na kaagad kay commander na ang sagod mo 40,000 php/month lang. kahit ang totoo 60,000 php/month.


ayun sa dinig ko, ganito daw yun papano i-trabaho ng mga CIA at Mi6 ito:


print yun pay slip ng several copies. yun copy buburahin ng liquid paper yung mga figures at papalitan para maging 40,000 php.

pag hindi maganda ang sulat kamay mo, patatamaan na lang sa computer print. trial and error sa eksaktong binurahan ng mga figures using A4 sized copies of your payslip sans the figures.

so meron ka nang monochrome (black and white) copy ng payslip. in A4 size. malabnaw na ang dating ng fonts kasi copy na. hindi mo puwede darken na lang basta settings kasi didilim ang background ng papel.

bale copy ulit yun A4 payslip in a reduced size, probably to 90-95% of its original 100% size. 'hihigpit' ang print ng mga fonts.

bigay na sa misis yun 40,000 php slip.

by the time na 'nakonsensiya' ka na at ok naman pinapakita ni misis sa iyo, eh di ibigay mo na yun 60,000 php payslip, bahala ka na sa dates baguhin.

tapos pag meron kang raise, say naging 70,000 php na. tuloy lang ang 60,000 php pay slip.

hanggang sa mabuko na lang si bugoy at kung mag tanong na talaga si misis sa accounts/HR dept. yare tayo diyan.

may final lusot pa yan. meron ka nang ring na binili dati pa at naka engraved ang name ni wifey. siyempre, pag present mo baka sabihin eh para sa koolasisi mo yata yan kaya mo itinatago kung walang naka engraved. para surprise kaya nag ipon ng patago.

ayan ay narinig ko laang sa isang beteranong bugoy na colleague ko dati. he he he

I'm not in the business of lying and f*cking around ... so my system is simplest....

-Just_JT
Only.small.d*cked.f*cktards.have.mistresses.

alright. so dont want to be like gene simmons who slept with at least 3,000 women during his happy days.

[JUST_JT]

alright. so dont want to be like gene simmons who slept with at least 3,000 women during his happy days.

It's quite improbable to sleep with 3,000 women in one's lifetime ...

-Just_JT
Gene.Simmons.is.FULL.OF.SH*T...

[hyperspace]

you would be surprised how easy to get sex from any girl in eastern europe.

[vincex]

This thread reminded me of that other thread about a girl looking for filthy rich guys to marry. That was a fun article.

It also reminded me about a stupid friend of mine. She loves to be treated, feel special, "pinaghirapan" etc... most of these are all "gallant" men. When all is said and done, she gets dumped. And she repeats the process all over again. focusing on men.

Eventually she got old (late 20's) and has NO CAREER. her looks is slowly going down the drain. Wrinkle here and there.

I warned her a long time ago that she should focus on her self improvement and career. But some people never listen.

[rickym]

This thread reminded me of that other thread about a girl looking for filthy rich guys to marry. That was a fun article.

It also reminded me about a stupid friend of mine. She loves to be treated, feel special, "pinaghirapan" etc... most of these are all "gallant" men. When all is said and done, she gets dumped. And she repeats the process all over again. focusing on men.

Eventually she got old (late 20's) and has NO CAREER. her looks is slowly going down the drain. Wrinkle here and there.

I warned her a long time ago that she should focus on her self improvement and career. But some people never listen.

let them, at least we have people to dump without feeling bad at all.

[batman03]

Money is the #1 reason why couples separate. This is because its taboo to discuss and negotiate it. Looks, character, personality, love, are already given in searching for a spouse or bf/gf. But people are afraid to OPENLY DISCUSS and BE TRULY HONEST about money matters. thus, the thread.

Another thing, not all couples conjugal. Not all partnerships are also legal. May live-in na parang mag-asawa. Etc. I'm just exploring different scenarios and possibilities, and exploring how people feel and what they think is FAIR.

Sa ligawan at magnobyo stage, puro pakiramdaman. I think it's better to discuss and negotiate ASAP. Even, mag-asawa, pakiramdaman lang ng pakiramdaman. Bakit ang SEX, hindi na taboo i-discuss in detail, bakit MONEY, taboo pa rin? SEX and MONEY are equally dominant and felt in a relationship,ah. Minsan nga, once a week ang sex, pero money, araw-araw kelangan gumastos. Sex, di kelangan araw-araw. optional lang.

why do i always agree with you?

finally, i broke up with my gf. and she's really starting to irritate me.. haaaayy.. i dont have any social life. my salary goes directly to the BILLS. house rent and all.

and hers? goes directly to her stomach "bahay alak" ba tawag dun? libre sa tropa and all.

so much for an almost 2 year live in relationship.

now, who said girls can really handle money? i tried to talk to her about it. but no use. we just keep on arguing whenever it was opened. maybe im a little over defensive but hey..

[vincex]

I remarked here somewhere before that there are less quality girls than guys. This is because girls tend to focus on less pragmatic things and are more inclined to go husband hunting instead of learning new things. Saving included.

[shirlytemple]

Di ko masyado type lalakeng sobrang galante. To me that is DOMish and mayabang. Feeling ko kasi, parang binibili ako ng lalake. Ayoko kasi mag-expect sila sakin ng kung ano ano dahil lang gumastos sila. Haleeeeeeer! Di naman ako humingi ng kung ano anong regalo, tapos kung di ko tatangapin rerekla-reklamo na malaki ginastos nya. Achuuuuuuuu


Im an independent woman, and I love it. That is why when going out on a date, I really will insist on splitting the tab. Lalo kung di pa naman tayo masyado close. Pero kung close na tayo, pwedeng siya magbayad ng movie tickets at ako na lang sa snacks.

Sa mga gimikan naman, nakakainis yung mga mapoporma dyan lalapit, magpapakilala at aalokin ka ng ladies drink. Ano ako GRO? Besides me kamay at paa ako at marunong ako kumita ng pera. Kahit nga mga kasama ko bibilhan din daw ng drinks. Excuse me noh! me mga sarili po kaming wallet. Bakit ba kasi di nyo maintindihan na mga lalake kayo, na pag girls night out, hindi dapat kayo sumasawsaw sa table namin? Akala nyo kasi ganun kami kat@nga na di namin alam maraming mga kagaya nyo sa gimikan ang laging naghahanap ng pwede nyo itake-home. Anong akala nyo samin? combo meal sa fastfood? Bwahahaha

[vincex]

^ The problem is, the guys know that this is a potential landmine. If they agree to split the tab with you, there is a possibility that you will never see/date them again. They wouldn't know which girl is honest in splitting the tab without perceiving the guy negatively.

[my_2_cents]

^ The problem is, the guys know that this is a potential landmine. If they agree to split the tab with you, there is a possibility that you will never see/date them again. They wouldn't know which girl is honest in splitting the tab without perceiving the guy negatively.

Depende sa lalaki. Ang mga open-minded na lalaki hindi magiging problema na mag-offer magsplit ng bill ang ka-date na babae. Titingalain pang may self respect iyong babae.

--
my_2_cents