Shoul i let go or should i hold on?

[aslowruler]

@TS: my advice - KILL YOURSELF. You CHEATS are the SCUM OF THE EARTH!!!



-Just_JT
The.PAIN.and.SUFFERING.are.your.COMEUPPANCE.

Not contented with what he had.

thanks for your advice. i was chatting with her last night. i invited her for to go out tomorrow and she agreed. i'm bringing her to a restaurant where we used to go when we were still together. this will be the second time that we will go out to have a talk. the first was when i went to see her after five years. i went to her office and we had a talk in a nearby cafe. it had me almost crying in the end having learned she's already committed to someone else. i'm hoping tomorrow will end in a more positive way

After your meet-up you should separate yourself with her no matter what. Stop chasing after her. No communication at all as requested by her. After all you will feel what a 3rd party feels now.

[popkins]

Not contented with what he had.



After your meet-up you should separate yourself with her no matter what. Stop chasing after her. No communication at all as requested by her. After all you will feel what a 3rd party feels now.

IMO, as long as she's not yet married, she is fair game. After all, both of you made a vow. even assuming that the vow is irrelevant now, you can still court her (after all you are already single) and hope to change her mind until the day she gets married. Just keep on what you're doing. you have two months left

[F-A Soldier]

^Uhh bruv, he's fcked her when he was tied up, so he's already broken the rules, I guess it doesn't matter to him.

So fcking selfish. You do your thing outside of marriage, she saw it and did the right thing, you promise her but only at your own convenience, now after five fcking years you expect someone to drop all their commitments and their own life to resume your fantasy past that WAS?

Goddamn selfish. You've ruined yours, now its her turn to have a great marriage and you're about to take it away, and expect people to sympathize.

Come on bra.

[popkins]

^Uhh bruv, he's fcked her when he was tied up, so he's already broken the rules, I guess it doesn't matter to him.

So fcking selfish. You do your thing outside of marriage, she saw it and did the right thing, you promise her but only at your own convenience, now after five fcking years you expect someone to drop all their commitments and their own life to resume your fantasy past that WAS?

Goddamn selfish. You've ruined yours, now its her turn to have a great marriage and you're about to take it away, and expect people to sympathize.

Come on bra.

they both entered into the relationship knowing the consequences. it wasn't like he deceived her. They both wished for the legal incapacity to vanish and even made a vow to hook up again once it happens. even if that vow cannot be enforced now, at least he shouldn't be prevented from starting from scratch to court her again.

[blue_acid]

dont want to ennumerate how much you messed up with the ex-wife and her.

if you really love her, you'd be happy if she is happy.. even not with you.

have the decency not to sabotage her happiness and ruin her relationship. it was wrong in the first place to be with her but you still persisted. she was right to have moved on and let you go. dont be selfish, dude. you have your chance but you didnt really do anything about it.

let her go and move on with your life. concentrate on your job and try to be a good father and provider to your kids if you have any.

[F-A Soldier]

they both entered into the relationship knowing the consequences. it wasn't like he deceived her. They both wished for the legal incapacity to vanish and even made a vow to hook up again once it happens. even if that vow cannot be enforced now, at least he shouldn't be prevented from starting from scratch to court her again.

When did I say he coerced her? I was commenting on your post about rules. The rules were already broken, Idk why he's worried about her being married, because he sure as hell don't give two damns about her commitment, his marriage, and years of solitude. How the hell does a woman say to that? Oh he's was a cheater and an opportunist, how the hell is she suppose to say 'wow this man is a good catch.'

And since you've laid out the term rules and about 'courting' I'm not familiar with standards but I'm almost certainly sure that a committed fiancee do not and should not be courted. I maybe wrong. But once again there are no rules to begin with, so why we even talking about boundaries. LOL.

And as for the 'vow'...LOL, if I told you I'll be out wait for me, and I came out five fcking years later because of my inability and my own weakness, should I be surprise to find out you wont' be there when I finally got out? If she meant to him the world as if he's making it, he'd had given it to her the moment he promised, not when it was convenient to him.

[aslowruler]

dont want to ennumerate how much you messed up with the ex-wife and her.

if you really love her, you'd be happy if she is happy.. even not with you.

have the decency not to sabotage her happiness and ruin her relationship. it was wrong in the first place to be with her but you still persisted. she was right to have moved on and let you go. dont be selfish, dude. you have your chance but you didnt really do anything about it.

let her go and move on with your life. concentrate on your job and try to be a good father and provider to your kids if you have any.

very well said. nothing more to add!

[popkins]

When did I say he coerced her? I was commenting on your post about rules. The rules were already broken, Idk why he's worried about her being married, because he sure as hell don't give two damns about her commitment, his marriage, and years of solitude. How the hell does a woman say to that? Oh he's was a cheater and an opportunist, how the hell is she suppose to say 'wow this man is a good catch.'

And since you've laid out the term rules and about 'courting' I'm not familiar with standards but I'm almost certainly sure that a committed fiancee do not and should not be courted. I maybe wrong. But once again there are no rules to begin with, so why we even talking about boundaries. LOL.

And as for the 'vow'...LOL, if I told you I'll be out wait for me, and I came out five fcking years later because of my inability and my own weakness, should I be surprise to find out you wont' be there when I finally got out? If she meant to him the world as if he's making it, he'd had given it to her the moment he promised, not when it was convenient to him.

what's wrong with courting an unmarried woman. as long as she is not yet legally bound to someone else, she may entertain anyone. she responds to her messages, even agreed to go out to dinner with him. she can call off the wedding and break up with her present bf if she feels she still has feelings for this guy and nothing can prevent her.

he is starting from scratch. its as if he met her for the first time and he intends to court her. she tells him no but she still keeps on talking to him, she would even go out with him tomorrow. won't he take advantage of that opportunity? so what's wrong with that.

[F-A Soldier]

what's wrong with courting an unmarried woman. as long as she is not yet legally bound to someone else, she may entertain anyone. she responds to her messages, even agreed to go out to dinner with him. she can call off the wedding and break up with her present bf if she feels she still has feelings for this guy and nothing can prevent her.

he is starting from scratch. its as if he met her for the first time and he intends to court her. she tells him no but she still keeps on talking to him, she would even go out with him tomorrow. won't he take advantage of that opportunity? so what's wrong with that.

Are you kidding me? You're talking about right and wrong and rules and you don't see what's wrong with going after someone's fiancee? She's NOT single. In fact she's about to get married. Like I said I don't know 'courting' we don't court here in the US per se, but as far as I'm concerned a woman who's about to get married (which means she's given this relationship some thought and importance to relegate it to marriage).

And no, dinner IS not a consent to anything romantic. Friends go out on dinners to perhaps resolve the past. For all you know she just wants to officially tell him it's over and let's get on with our lives, the civil way, civility... the method which our endeared TS was never a client of.

If I courted your gf there's nothing wrong with that? Honestly tell me it's alright. But then again once to forever, the TS don't follow rules nor boundaries, so why does it matter? LOL.

[rokrok]

IMO, parang mali pa rin kasi na ligawan mo yung taong malapit ng ikasal at may karelasyon, kahit na siguro nagmahalan kayo noon. Parang selfish yon, para sumaya ka ulit, kailangang manakit ka ng iba. Kahit may kasabihan all is fair in love and war.

Kahit siguro kinakausap nung babae si TS, out of courtesy na lang yun, may pinagsamahan naman sila dati. Wag lang magpaligaw, friendly conversations lang.

Tsaka bakit kailangang guluhin na naman ang matagal ng nananahimik at masaya? Kasi baka may pag-asa pa? Pag may ibang tao ng involved, siguro maganda respeto na lang.

[infinite_trial]

want your cake and eat it too? sorry, someone took it when you left it sitting inside the fridge.

[blue_tracer]

kayo naman.. never mention the word right/wrong dito sa thread. maraming aangal. accepted na yan sa pex world. sindali na nga lang ng pagkain ng pandesal ngayon ang pagtapak sa marriage/engagement eh.

hahaba lang discussion nitong thread..

the girl has the final say. siya ang magbibigay ng conclusion dito. it's her call. bahala na siya diyan.

nag jump ship na siya dati (when she agreed to marry her current bf).. let's see if she does that again (this time pabalik kay mr. ts ). diskarte na niya 'yan. buhay niya na 'yan.

sana nasa malinaw ang kanyang pagiisip while making her decision.

[popkins]

kayo naman.. never mention the word right/wrong dito sa thread. maraming aangal. accepted na yan sa pex world. sindali na nga lang ng pagkain ng pandesal ngayon ang pagtapak sa marriage/engagement eh.

hahaba lang discussion nitong thread..

the girl has the final say. siya ang magbibigay ng conclusion dito. it's her call. bahala na siya diyan.

nag jump ship na siya dati (when she agreed to marry her current bf).. let's see if she does that again (this time pabalik kay mr. ts ). diskarte na niya 'yan. buhay niya na 'yan.

sana nasa malinaw ang kanyang pagiisip while making her decision.

^^ this is what i'm talking about

you are engaged to someone else. here comes an old friend with promises of romance and forever. you found out that after all those years he never stopped loving you. if you are so decided as to your coming marriage, you would shut this old friend up and have none of him. you could just ignore him but you decided to talk to him and go out with him thus giving him windows of opportunities to make you fall. you fell for him even when he was married. you should know better this time especially when he is so single and very much available.

right or wrong goes out the window when heart talks. what is wrong in my opinion, is when you allow this chance to pass you by just because you want to play fair and you want play it like a gentleman. there is still a chance, make the most of it.

[infinite_trial]

uhm the TS already had his chance and he blew it. if I were the girl I would still marry the fiancé. he is very much available and he loves me without complications at hand, why would I screw up something wonderful? on the other hand, there's the TS who has proven that he cannot be faithful, indecisive, does not know what he wants and selfish. you cannot expect things to stay the same when you left it for f*cking 5 years. ano yun, perang dineposito sa bangko na asahan mong tutubo pero pinabayaan mo naman?

[pongpagong123]

^^ yes i was indecisive. but what really took so long was the annulment procedure. i was losing the case and had to bribe my way through the process. i had other problems as well and needed to fix myself first before i even tried to look for her. what i wanted was to show her that i'm a new person, that i changed and that everything would go out well the second time around. in the end my actions coupled with a lot of problems lost me a lot of time.

in another note, i'm happy that we are starting to talk like before again. she was telling me her story this afternoon, the things that happened to her during our separation and she asked me to tell her my story. we were laughing again during our discussions. for a while i forgot about her status. and for a while i couldn't believe that she and i are having conversations again. parang noon lang eh pinapangarap ko lang na makausap ko siya uli, ngayon nagkatotoo na.

sa kuwentuhan pa lang, kinokompleto na niya ako. sana magtagal pa tong ganito, that's all i could wish for now

[pongpagong123]

kayo naman.. never mention the word right/wrong dito sa thread. maraming aangal. accepted na yan sa pex world. sindali na nga lang ng pagkain ng pandesal ngayon ang pagtapak sa marriage/engagement eh.

hahaba lang discussion nitong thread..

the girl has the final say. siya ang magbibigay ng conclusion dito. it's her call. bahala na siya diyan.

nag jump ship na siya dati (when she agreed to marry her current bf).. let's see if she does that again (this time pabalik kay mr. ts ). diskarte na niya 'yan. buhay niya na 'yan.

sana nasa malinaw ang kanyang pagiisip while making her decision.

she didn't jump ship. i wouldn't call it like that. when we separated, she was free to live her life. i do not wished for her to live a martyr's life waiting for me. what i told her before was that when i'm free, i will look for her. she said she'd accept me only if my marriage was already dissolved. it wasn't really a Vow like its written in stone.

[anilov]

they're right TS, don't complicate your life and hers. let go and move on. you'll find someone else.

[F-A Soldier]

^^ this is what i'm talking about

you are engaged to someone else. here comes an old friend with promises of romance and forever. you found out that after all those years he never stopped loving you. if you are so decided as to your coming marriage, you would shut this old friend up and have none of him. you could just ignore him but you decided to talk to him and go out with him thus giving him windows of opportunities to make you fall. you fell for him even when he was married. you should know better this time especially when he is so single and very much available.

right or wrong goes out the window when heart talks. what is wrong in my opinion, is when you allow this chance to pass you by just because you want to play fair and you want play it like a gentleman. there is still a chance, make the most of it.

I digress. Civility don't always mean excitement and welcome back. Sometimes some of us regular folks do have a form of hospitality, to old friends and good times of the past. It doesn't mean open your legs once more honey. People who've shared something esp. owe each that, civilities. Without malice.

As for 'fair' and 'chance', why didn't you answer my question earlier, is it okay for me to court your fiancee or gf?

[blue_tracer]

she didn't jump ship. i wouldn't call it like that. when we separated, she was free to live her life. i do not wished for her to live a martyr's life waiting for me. what i told her before was that when i'm free, i will look for her. she said she'd accept me only if my marriage was already dissolved. it wasn't really a Vow like its written in stone.

invalid pala yun jump ship.. okay..

kasi hindi active ang kasunduan ninyo at that time, right? that she was free to live her life (and probably.. kahit kung nagpakasal siya) as you said.

that makes perfect sense.

pero ngayon.. bigla naging active na ulit kasunduan ninyo dahil at last, free ka na?

tingnan lang kung kaya niya pa atras wedding niya for you just 2 months away.

hindi nga lang fair sa kabilang guy kahit saan angle tingnan dahil alam mo naman hindi aabot sa final stage ang wedding preparation nila if at any point alam ng girl na hindi niya mahal yung guy na pakakasalan niya.

goodluck sa inyong dalawa.

[aslowruler]

hindi nga lang fair sa kabilang guy kahit saan angle tingnan dahil alam mo naman hindi aabot sa final stage ang wedding preparation nila if at any point alam ng girl na hindi niya mahal yung guy na pakakasalan niya.

goodluck sa inyong dalawa.

Hindi talaga pero nasa girl na ang desisyon n'yan.

Kung sa inyong pagkikita eh naging masaya kayo pero para sa kanya eh kaibigan ka na lang at talagang desidido na siya sa kanyang pagpapakasal kelangan mo ng dumistansiya. Sinabi mo na din na after ng kasal nila hindi na niya sasagutin ang mga tawag at text mo.

Dapat mapag-isipang maigi nung girl ang desisyon niya.