How to overcome insecurities?

[Chake]

Well, bago pa lang ako kasi dito and I thought na napakahelpful ng site na ito, so any suggestions to my topic? Thanks!

[F-A Soldier]

Get out more. Then you'll see people are as ugly, stupid, dirty, uncouth, retarded, silly, unintelligible, as you feel sometimes you are.

Secret: Kapal ng mukha is necessity to success.

[Chake]

That is helpful pero the trouble is when nakikita ko ng mga tao na better-looking, have higher social status, and more.
"Secret: Kapal ng mukha is necessity to success."
^ pa-explain **** o pls,,slamat rin sa rep.

[...wakaranai]

believe or not, it's easy to overcome insecurities if you appreciate what you have. just think of all the positive things and characteristics that you possess. then, always remember that other people, how beautiful or rich they are, don't have the things that you have. this will make you feel better.

remember: count your blessings.

[Chake]

Thanks for the suggestions! I'm feeling better already,
Sa mga nag-viview dyan, nka-12 views na to, 2 plang nagrereply. Suggestions?

[fatgirlslim]

always look at yourself in the mirror and when you look at yourself, say this, " I LOOK GOOD " dont be too negative on yourself. Negativities won't help you further in life. Think positive!

[amnesia_girl09]

Make a list of all the good things you have, of all the nice things people say about you, of all the times you were appreciated, of the things you have achieved, and of the things you are good at. Always keep that list handy (lagay mo sa notes sa mobile phone mo) so that when you are feeling that insecurity creep in, just read it. You can even make a scrap book for it, with pictures and even 'testimonials' from people about the nice things they see in you. At least then you will have tangible evidence pa di ba? You won't feel as if you're just fooling yourself. Pero if it's too time-consuming to make one, just keep them in your head na lang..

[Chake]

Make a list of all the good things you have, of all the nice things people say about you, of all the times you were appreciated, of the things you have achieved, and of the things you are good at. Always keep that list handy (lagay mo sa notes sa mobile phone mo) so that when you are feeling that insecurity creep in, just read it. You can even make a scrap book for it, with pictures and even 'testimonials' from people about the nice things they see in you. At least then you will have tangible evidence pa di ba? You won't feel as if you're just fooling yourself. Pero if it's too time-consuming to make one, just keep them in your head na lang..

Yeah, you're right. I'm doing it right now.

[keile]

First, realize that you are as worthy as anyone are. Nobody is perfect and we are all different. Everybody has their own positive aspects. Identify yours.

Seek improvement on whatever aspect you are insecure of. If it is your body, do some workout. If it is your personality, work on your character.

You have the power within you to become whatever you wanted to be. Believe and you will

[F-A Soldier]

That is helpful pero the trouble is when nakikita ko ng mga tao na better-looking, have higher social status, and more.
"Secret: Kapal ng mukha is necessity to success."
^ pa-explain **** o pls,,slamat rin sa rep.

Well then you should get numb about it. Look there's nothing in the world you could do so that when you come out, logically all that you look, see and feel you're going to say "Wow, I'm the best at everything." It's just not possible. You gotta understand that in life, you can do three things:
1. Wallow in pity
2. Get better
3. Not give a shit

I prefer doing 2, with a little bit of 3. Stop caring about other people's business. How pretty they are, how ugly they are, how rich...that's none of your business. What your business is: how good you are, how good you feel, how you're going to do this and that.

When you care more about others, you start to compare yourself and you tend to pity yourself in the process thus your low self esteem. Like what people say here: think positive. Remember what YOU HAVE, not what other people have. Be thankful that you are you, not other people.

I mean that's why I said go out more, when you see other people you merely see their outside appearances. You know if those 'pretty girls' don't feel disgusted of themselves, maybe they do things that are shameful that you don't, something they hide things, which you don't have to worry about because you got nothing to hide. How about those rich people, with 'high social standing' compare to you, how do you know they're hiding huge debts and can't sleep at night thinking about it. You don't know it because you simply think it.

Stop thinking too much. Think how you're going to be better, how you'll make YOUR life better. You can only compare yourself with yourself. It's impossible or somewhat unfair for you and for others to compare things with others, because first and foremost, they're irrelevant.

What I learned that the worse thing is in the world is: pity. It's even worse when you have self pity. Because of all people that should look and could look highly and who's feeling should matter is you, but when you pity your own self, there's no help, no advice, no compliment that's going to change that.

Count your blessings, not others'.
As for explain, kapal ng mukha doesn't necessarily mean someone who is without shame. Kapal ng mukha sometimes mean that you don't care about the little things in life. Being not bothered by the little things and being able to market yourself without worrying about what others are going to think is essential to success. Remember that.

[JUST_JT]

• Accept your limitations. If you're short, accept that you are. Stature is not measured in physical dimensions but in strength of character. Bottomline: there are things you have no control over - those things you have to accept.
  
• Build on your strengths. People excel when they maximise their strengths to full potential.
  
• Improve yourself. Build your knowledge, wisdom and personality.
  
• Don't take life too seriously. Always find opportunity to enjoy life and have fun.

-Just_JT
All.the.best.

[RedbeD]

We all have our share of insecurities in life but how we deal with it is what matters. I remember my dad forcing my older brothers to memorize the Desiderata when I was little. I never memorized the entirety of it but it somehow helped me understand that all of us are unique and that there is nothing to be ashamed about it. Whenever I feel insecure or envious of other people, i ponder on these lines:

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Be yourself.

(and my favorite....)

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;

[tiger.cathy]

Tell yourself your the shi* everyday. And listen to the song tick-tock, and act as if the song was written for you. Favorite line there is -- "When I wake up in the morning feelin like P. Didddy" Ohh yeaaah.. See, believe that.

Ahahahahaha. :P I don't normally quote Ke$ha, but I just got home,and I'm still tteeeppsy. :P

[orangepink]

normal lang naman maging insecure. at least, you are aware of it and you're willing to improve upon yourself. ganun din naman ako. i read lots of self-help books like those by byron katie, eckhart tolle. other than that, huwag mo masyadong dibdibin ang mundo hehehe

[orionspear]

Make a list of all the good things you have, of all the nice things people say about you, of all the times you were appreciated, of the things you have achieved, and of the things you are good at. Always keep that list handy (lagay mo sa notes sa mobile phone mo) so that when you are feeling that insecurity creep in, just read it. You can even make a scrap book for it, with pictures and even 'testimonials' from people about the nice things they see in you. At least then you will have tangible evidence pa di ba? You won't feel as if you're just fooling yourself. Pero if it's too time-consuming to make one, just keep them in your head na lang..

i like this one, but..

Well then you should get numb about it. Look there's nothing in the world you could do so that when you come out, logically all that you look, see and feel you're going to say "Wow, I'm the best at everything." It's just not possible. You gotta understand that in life, you can do three things:
1. Wallow in pity
2. Get better
3. Not give a shit

I prefer doing 2, with a little bit of 3. Stop caring about other people's business. How pretty they are, how ugly they are, how rich...that's none of your business. What your business is: how good you are, how good you feel, how you're going to do this and that.

When you care more about others, you start to compare yourself and you tend to pity yourself in the process thus your low self esteem. Like what people say here: think positive. Remember what YOU HAVE, not what other people have. Be thankful that you are you, not other people.

I mean that's why I said go out more, when you see other people you merely see their outside appearances. You know if those 'pretty girls' don't feel disgusted of themselves, maybe they do things that are shameful that you don't, something they hide things, which you don't have to worry about because you got nothing to hide. How about those rich people, with 'high social standing' compare to you, how do you know they're hiding huge debts and can't sleep at night thinking about it. You don't know it because you simply think it.

Stop thinking too much. Think how you're going to be better, how you'll make YOUR life better. You can only compare yourself with yourself. It's impossible or somewhat unfair for you and for others to compare things with others, because first and foremost, they're irrelevant.

What I learned that the worse thing is in the world is: pity. It's even worse when you have self pity. Because of all people that should look and could look highly and who's feeling should matter is you, but when you pity your own self, there's no help, no advice, no compliment that's going to change that.

Count your blessings, not others'.
As for explain, kapal ng mukha doesn't necessarily mean someone who is without shame. Kapal ng mukha sometimes mean that you don't care about the little things in life. Being not bothered by the little things and being able to market yourself without worrying about what others are going to think is essential to success. Remember that.

i love this more..

Tell yourself your the shi* everyday. And listen to the song tick-tock, and act as if the song was written for you. Favorite line there is -- "When I wake up in the morning feelin like P. Didddy" Ohh yeaaah.. See, believe that.

Ahahahahaha. :P I don't normally quote Ke$ha, but I just got home,and I'm still tteeeppsy. :P

i can't believe that Ke$ha just got quoted..
but, thanks, tiger.cathy, at least now i have an idea with what she meant by that..

[ermonski]

That is helpful pero the trouble is when nakikita ko ng mga tao na better-looking, have higher social status, and more.
"Secret: Kapal ng mukha is necessity to success."
^ pa-explain **** o pls,,slamat rin sa rep.

there will always be people who're better looking than you, there'll always be people who will have a higher social status than you.

ganyan din ako dati, pero ngayon naisip ko na I have nothing to be insecure about, as I've always though na "I have something that they don't"

be confident, but do not be over-confident

[PinaColada16]

First, you have to accept the fact that you can't have everything you want in life. Let it all out...what I mean is, talk about it...as in start by telling about your insecurities to someone you trust, a counselor or a coach, friend, or okay maybe a diary or an online community would do. It doesn't make you less of a man or woman to talk about your weakness. You start from here.


Second, I think is, find the root of your insecurities. Find out where you need to improve and continue working on it. Once you’ve found the root of the problem, it’s much easier to get a handle on the insecurity and you'll realize a lot of things.

[takenbyjo]

Fake it till you make it. You keep thinking that you have nothing to be insecure about, eventually, you will start believing it. Now, if I can just make myself believe that, all will be good.

[motorbay]

read Desiderata.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

[SirZap]

tigilan mo pagsha-shabu ng mabawan ang paranoia mo