if you're having thoughts of breaking up with your bf, should you?

[silver_lining]

I'm recently having thoughts of breaking up with my bf of 2 years and 3 months. Does this mean I should? Kaso natatakot ako na baka di na ko makahanap ng tulad nya. Napakatino nya kasi e. For example, he doesn't believe in cheating and although he sometimes makes advances, he respects that I don't want to do "it" yet. On the other hand, there are some things he does and doesn't do that put me off, like making sudden decisions that I don't know about, refusing my help, and switching between jobs. Bakit minsan pag sinasabi nyang "I love you," "I love you too" doesn't come out naturally? How can I tell if I still love him?

I can't bring myself to really break up with him, first because I don't know how, second because I keep thinking and feeling guilty about what will happen to him after the break up, and third because I'm not sure if it's the right decision to let him go. But is it better to let him go if I'm entertaining these thoughts? Or does just thinking about it and actually not having the guts to do it mean I should hold on?

What should I do? I am asking because I don't know how break ups work. He is my first boyfriend.

[lunarpanda]

WEIGH things. which weighs more -- his qualities or his shortcomings?

if my boyfriend makes an error, i keep in mind the good things he's done for me. then, i suddenly forget about his mistakes.

antok pa ako... maya ko na sagutin yung ibang tanong mo... hehe~

[dax_energi]

silver Lining, ilang taon ka na ?

[silver_lining]

@lunarpanda: hehe, ok.

@dax_energi: i'm 25. why?

[dax_energi]

silver, i find your reasons for break-up to be superficial.

that being said, mag-bf pa palang kayo and hindi pa married so wala pa kayong real commitment. you can basically do what you feel like doing.

[silver_lining]

when you say they are superficial, do you mean they're not good enough reasons?

[IMHO]

If you think you two grow apart and doesn't see eye to eye
anymore, maybe you should go ahead and talked to him.

Just be honest on what you really feel for him and let him
know that you care for him. Just tell him that you don't want a
relationship right now and you just missed being single and
not worrying about annything. If he wants to make you happy
he'll let you go.

[Jakeof90210]

Break up. Just break up. I sure wish I had the guts to have done this before things got sour. Kung kayo, kayo and nothing will ever change that. Minsan kasi being apart from each other and giving each other time to miss is the ONLY thing that's gonna make you realize what you truely mean to each other.

[lunarpanda]

I'm recently having thoughts of breaking up with my bf of 2 years and 3 months. Does this mean I should? Kaso natatakot ako na baka di na ko makahanap ng tulad nya. Napakatino nya kasi e.

like in my first reply. WEIGH THINGS. which weighs more - his qualities or his shortcomings?

For example, he doesn't believe in cheating and although he sometimes makes advances, he respects that I don't want to do "it" yet.

good.

On the other hand, there are some things he does and doesn't do that put me off, like making sudden decisions that I don't know about, refusing my help, and switching between jobs.

making sudden decisions - decisions for himself or for the both of you? kasi kung meron siyang mga ginagawa that doesnt concern you, then you shouldnt be bothered.

refusing your help - some men would want to resolve their problems on their own. they feel more fulfilled that way. if he really needs help - as in direly need - he will tell you naman e.

switching between jobs - what jobs does he take ba? did you ever ask why he's doing that? baka naman kaya nya ginagawa yun eh dahil merong greener pasture somewhere else o kaya eh hindi niya trip yung current type of work nya.

Bakit minsan pag sinasabi nyang "I love you," "I love you too" doesn't come out naturally?

dalawa lang yan eh... either you're mad or you fell out of love. yung ex ko dati, when he said "i love you" i just said "yeah" LOL! pag nag-aaway kami ni bf, we dont say "i love you".

How can I tell if I still love him?

are you happy being with him? or... are you better off without him?

I can't bring myself to really break up with him, first because I don't know how, second because I keep thinking and feeling guilty about what will happen to him after the break up, and third because I'm not sure if it's the right decision to let him go.

how to let go? just tell him you wanna break up with him. tell him the reasons why you came up with that decision. no matter how gentle you want your breakup to be, that's not gonna happen because either both of you or at least one of you will get hurt in the process.

feeling guilty? why? if pity will be your basis for staying with him, then you're just bringing more pain for the both of you. being in a relationship without love as a foundation is bullsh*+.

But is it better to let him go if I'm entertaining these thoughts? Or does just thinking about it and actually not having the guts to do it mean I should hold on? What should I do? I am asking because I don't know how break ups work. He is my first boyfriend.

heheh. first boyfriend. wow! i think what you lack is communication. just talk to him about it. try to settle your differences. acceptance of shortcomings is one of the factors that will show how much you love a person. if that's something you cannot achieve, then you better let go. just my two cents.

[lemona1d]

WEIGH things. which weighs more -- his qualities or his shortcomings?

if my boyfriend makes an error, i keep in mind the good things he's done for me. then, i suddenly forget about his mistakes.

antok pa ako... maya ko na sagutin yung ibang tanong mo... hehe~

I hope my GF (ex na pala) thought of the same thing before she decided to break up with me. I know I'm not perfect and has a lot of shortcomings but sino ba ang wala?

It's been more than a month now and it still hurts so bad.

[kreuk]

hmm... i find ur reasons petty. maybe there's something more that you're not telling us? ur gonna break up with someone just because of those traits when every girl (just about every girl i know) are praying to get a non-cheating bf who respect them enough to not treat them like sex machines?!

i think that... in the game of love... you should always be HONEST and REAL and most importantly. UNSELFISH. if you're just holding on to your BF just because ur afraid u wont find anybody like him na... i think ur getting into a relatioship for the wrong reason. it's very selfish that u make him think u love him ayun naman pala he can find a girl better than you.

[RedhotOne]

TS, you are probably still very young and immature in your way of dealing with bf/gf relationships since this is allegedly your first one. You sounds so conflicted with your feelings and there's nothing wrong with having second thoughts about your bf. You need to look within yourself first and be sure this present relationship is what's best for you. If it's not, then discuss your true feelings with your bf and then set him free so he can start searching for his own happiness. Yes, it will be painful at first but he'll get over it eventually if he knows there's no love left in your relationship. As the saying goes, "Behind every dark cloud is a silver lining."

Learning from this experience should also make you emotionally stronger and, hopefully, able to handle the next one more maturely. Good luck!

[infinite_trial]

i think you should. been in the same situation before. i had my first serious relationship when i was 21 and lasted for 2 years. my ex-bf was talking about marriage before i left the country then it suddenly hit me that he's not the guy i want to live with the rest of my life.

[siyado]

ascertain what you really want first.

[darmonx]

break mo na. he is a good man pero can you sincerely say yes to him in front of God? ngayon pa lang di mo na feel so why keep leading him on. if he is a good man then let him go so he can be with a good girl. huwag ka nang manghinayang. you will meet someone else dahil hindi ito yung tipo mong guy. mas nakakahinayang pag nameet mo yung type mo tapos kasal ka dito.

[JUST_JT]

What should I do? I am asking because I don't know how break ups work. He is my first boyfriend.

Simple lang, hija - CAN YOU LIVE WITHOUT HIM? Kung OO ang sagot mo, 'di mo siya kailangan - pinagtitiyagaan mo lang siya. Kung gayon - ibreak muna para 'di sayang ang panahon ninyong dalawa.

-Just_JT
Can't.leave.without.you=my.shoes.kasi.ayoko.magtapak.

[rayzle]

I'm recently having thoughts of breaking up with my bf of 2 years and 3 months. Does this mean I should? Kaso natatakot ako na baka di na ko makahanap ng tulad nya. Napakatino nya kasi e. For example, he doesn't believe in cheating and although he sometimes makes advances, he respects that I don't want to do "it" yet. On the other hand, there are some things he does and doesn't do that put me off, like making sudden decisions that I don't know about, refusing my help, and switching between jobs. Bakit minsan pag sinasabi nyang "I love you," "I love you too" doesn't come out naturally? How can I tell if I still love him?

I can't bring myself to really break up with him, first because I don't know how, second because I keep thinking and feeling guilty about what will happen to him after the break up, and third because I'm not sure if it's the right decision to let him go. But is it better to let him go if I'm entertaining these thoughts? Or does just thinking about it and actually not having the guts to do it mean I should hold on?

What should I do? I am asking because I don't know how break ups work. He is my first boyfriend.

at least you believe pa rin may matino pang lalaki yun lang alam mo mahihirapan ka maghanap ng ganun katino. but im sure na marami pa rin qualified dyan to be your bf kahit medyo less ang tino compared sa bf mo. just don't compare, iba iba naman ang makikita mong good qualities in every guys you meet. pero kung decided ka na talaga makipag break okay lang yung may takot ka na di mo makita yung ganun katino pero you got naman all the time to choose ng mabuti.

baka na mi misjudge mo lang yung words coming out of his mouth when he says the 3 words. i don't know kung dapat may dating yung pagsabi nun is it not enough na ipinapakita na lang? how will you know na mahal mo pa rin? you will realize it din before or after breakup.

whatever reason mo for breaking up with him, just say na gusto mo na makipagbreak and state your reason. just say it sa pagmumukha niya. it's normal to feel the guilt pero that's the only way. malay mo he feels the same to you na gusto na rin makipag-break. ganun lang makipag break. just declare na ayaw mo na and set you free. if he doesn't agree, then leave him na lang. di naman kelangan na pareho kayo mag agree, kahit ikaw lang ang magdecide, then it's over.

[stemcarat]

if you're having doubts with how you feel, then for sure you dont love him.

hanging on to him because you dont know if you can find another with better qualities is just plain selfishness. if the guy is as honest as you say he is then talking like this behind his back can be classified as treason. with the kind of respect she has shown you, i dont think there is really any reason for you not to know how to approach him. but remember, not telling it to him face to face will not only make you a coward but will also show how insensitive you are to his feelings (coz the more you delay, the more it will hurt).

so just do it. tell him the truth and let him go. dont worry about him, he will get over you im sure, afterall, nobody is indispensable.

[orangepink]

nobody is perfect and love is a choice you have to make everyday.

[rckstdy]

Break him up. Don't be selfish