I am a young gay guy who's into a relationship right now for months already. This would be my first serious relationship, and also, the first time I've felt real love. The first month of our relationship was so rocky. We had several fights and quarrels. I admit, most of them were my faults. Usually, when this happens, I initiate break up, but my partner refused to. When I leave, he runs after me. The guy really doesnt want to lose me. I love him of course and I know he loves me more. I was so silly that time forgetting I'm hurting somebody's feelings. He is special to me, however, doubts and pride eats me.
He wanted me to trust him, but I can't help but have doubts. What if he is cheating on me? Is he with somebody else if I'm not around? Is he doing something bad when we're not together? Does he really love me? I dont think he has enough trust for me too. If I would go out with friends, he would ask where I am and what I am doing. He would honestly tell me, as a joke, that maybe I'm meeting somebody else or doing something bad he doesn't know.
Trust can't be gained easily. I loved him from the very start, but it
was not enough reason that time for me to trust him. I admit I have made some mistakes at his back. I felt guilty of course, but actually, that time, my love is not enough to trust him or to be faithful as well.
I know these things ruins a relationship. They say, if you love somebody, you also trust the person. But the truth for me is, if you don't trust someone that much, it doesn't mean you don't love the person. You learn to trust while you continue to love sincerely. That's what I am doing, I am teaching myself to trust him and giving him reasons to trust me too.
We've been together for months now, thanks god. We should have
been not together by this time if I did not juts realize lately how
much I really deeply madly love and dont wanna lose him. One time, he got tired of me so he wanted to let go even he still loves me. He thinks I will never change, and if the relationship would always be like that, it's better to end it up than endure the pain. I understand him and even thought he might have fell out of love. That scares me. He almost give up, but I run after him and proves him how I really love him.
So I had him back. We're together again. I promised to myself that I will change and make it as the start of a better and happier relationship. I am afraid to lose him now as I really love him. I just
keep these things in my mind if I have doubts, but I still try not to.
My love is already enough to trust him. If he goes out with friends
and I am not around, he would simple tell me he won't do anything
bad, I just need to believe him, and so I do. I also stay away from
temptations. I can't be a perfect partner, but atleast, I will try to be
one. My love for him and his importance is enough reason to do. And loving? You don't just love, you also sacrifice, accept, understand and trust.