9 Reasons People Cheats

[mothra_hater]

Why do I find it so easy not to cheat?

Maybe I'm not very attractive, so my options are limited. Maybe I'm too jaded to go for the cheating opportunities. Maybe I still have some mental wounds lingering from when my dad temporarily moved out because he had met another woman. Maybe I'm too afraid that I've reached my sin quotient and one more big sin will keep me out of heaven.


Cheating is not a caught in the moment thing if you are really into your significant other, you miss them when you are not with them, you don't look for a way to hurt or deceive them.

I am just now patching up a friendship with someone I was seeing while they had a boyfriend (that may make me a cheater). At different points she told me that she had broken up with her boyfriend, that they were back together, and that he was boring and I was fun. It was total confusion.

I told her she wasn't being fair to herself, me, or him.

Finally, she said, "you just don't understand, there are things you don't know." Thing is she's been cheating on him for a couple of years with different guys, and he keeps taking her back.

So, are cheaters born cheaters, or do certain situations cause people to cheat? Probably a little bit of both. Here are some situations that make people cheat:

1. Bored
I'd say this is the most common reason that people cheat.It's tough to keep that edge throughout a relationship. Things start off grand and then level off and then you both realize that it's still real life. When you meet someone else, that inaugural excitement of a new relationship kicks back in.

2. Dependence
At first glance, cheating seems like independent behavior. It could be interpreted as doing what you want, when you want. But I would argue that cheating is a dependent behavior. A cheater is dependent because they are not strong enough to break up with their significant other in order to get with the new person.

3. Confusion
Sometimes life or a particular situation can get to you. When the perfect storm of confusion is going on in your head, you make mistakes.

4. Because They Let You
If any girl ever cheated on me, I'd break up with her immediately. Forgiving a cheater is putting up with it, and starts a vicious cycle. That person who cheated may lose respect for you and might continue to cheat-because they know they can get away with it, because you'll continue to take them back.

5. Nurturing
If someone is mistreating you, then your first instinct is to get away from him or her. But sometimes it's not that simple-maybe you are raising kids together. If you feel trapped in a bad relationship, it's only natural that you will run to the open arms of a person who treats you well.

6. Revenge
This is quite simple- an eye for an eye. Cheat on them if they cheat on you. If they continuously hurt you or abuse you in some way, you do it to get them back.

7. Confirmation of Attractiveness
Sometimes when you're in a long relationship, or if your significant other is taking you for granted, you begin to wonder if you're still attractive. Perhaps, because you were out on the dating circuit, you felt more attractive when you were single. If you have an affair, you've proven that a new person can be attracted to you.

8. The Thrill
Some people just enjoy the thrill of cheating: running around secretly, risking getting caught, andcreating thrilling moments with a forbidden romance.

9. They Don't Consider It Cheating, Even Though You Might
Relationships have that grey area, usually right before you become exclusive. He thinks date #4 is when you're "together," and you think date #2 is when you're "together." If you haven't talked about exclusivity, someone may think they are well within their rights to see other people, even though the other person in the relationship may not.

I don't understand why people don't break up as soon as they have an urge to cheat. Is it natural to have temptation, or is temptation a sign that the relationship is losing its fire? What reasons would you add to this list, and do you disagree with any? If you've ever cheated, why did you do it? Could you forgive a cheater? If you are single, but seeing a person who is in a committed relationship, does that make you a cheater?

source: YAHOO.COM

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/9...e-cheat-430729

[Donasyl]

Hi montra! Minsan kasi hindi naman talaga nila pinlanong magcheat.
Lahat sila may explanation kung pano ba nangyari na nauwi s cheating.
Mahirap ipaliwanag basta maiintindihan mo na lang yun pag nangyari na
rin sayo yung nangyari sakanila. But i think its bcoz of number 2, 3, 5, and number 8.

[intsik siomai]

For me, cheating is not a deal-breaker. But before I even get involved with someone, I check his overall, values, perception on marriage, relationships, girls, boys, so I'll know his train of thought. I'm not interested with a serial playboy, I want someone who can have long deep relationships. But if he cheats for one reason or another, ok lang.

If my husband is Bill Clinton, and I'm Hillary, I'll ignore his cheating. Come on, give him a break. He's been so nice and responsible and good, let him have some fun. But if my husband is some drunkard irresponsible, unreasonable, pamacho, maangas jerk, he can go to hell. In the first place, I don't want to be with a maangas jerk.

[intsik siomai]

Don't focus on the cheating part too much. Kung okay ang interaction nyo, kung maganda ang pagsasama nyo, at di naman threat yung 3rd party or 4th party sa health(use condoms pls), economy(don't spend on him/her), he/she is just having fun. Sometimes, it's even healthier for the couple that one or both are cheating. Kasi, you get to release your frustrations and fantasies somewhere else, so when you face your "real" partner, you feel renewed and refreshed.

[spades000]

omg! is it?/ for me its not valid!..for me its not healthy taht one party is cheating.. what if ur gf s cheating on you huh.. and telling you she just want to release her frustatrations and fantasies.. and just want to be refreshed... wht wl u feel.. huh.. mr. siomai!

whats the point of doing it.. n d frst place.. it only means na.. u dont love her dat much.. .. better fnd someone else..

Don't focus on the cheating part too much. Kung okay ang interaction nyo, kung maganda ang pagsasama nyo, at di naman threat yung 3rd party or 4th party sa health(use condoms pls), economy(don't spend on him/her), he/she is just having fun. Sometimes, it's even healthier for the couple that one or both are cheating. Kasi, you get to release your frustrations and fantasies somewhere else, so when you face your "real" partner, you feel renewed and refreshed.

[intsik siomai]

correction, I'm Miss ****** Siomai. And as I said, I don't consider cheating a dealbreaker, especially if my boyfriend is not really a serial playboy or a maangas jerk. I'm after the total package of the person plus the kind of interaction I have with him. As I said, kung si Al Gore or Bill Clinton partner ko, magdadala pa ako ng sampung strippers to dance in front of him after a hard day.

[mothra_hater]

alam niyo...

cheating is still cheating...

sure ka bang hindi bibigay ang partner mo sa mga strippers na yun?

[intsik siomai]

What do you mean di bibigay, ako na nga ang nagbibigay dun sa guy ng makakagood time nya, eh. Try to look at the bigger picture. If your partner has most of the good wonderful qualities that you like AND if you have a good interaction/bonding, going to bed with someone else is nothing. Parang nagkapimple lang si Lucy Torres, pero mukha pa rin syang angel. On the other hand, kung ang bf mo ay si Pektong Lasenggo ng Recto na di mo makausap ng matino, ibang case yun. In the end, it's up to you if you can take it. Be sure to take stock of your own qualities, too. Are you competitive enough to find someone better than your current partner? If ever, are you sure your future partner will never ever cheat? Kung everyone will cheat, why do you have to dump the good relationship with that great person that you have now? It's all timbang timbang.

[Mark T. Market]

^ Then again, if both parties are aware and approve of it, then it wouldn't be "cheating" anymore.

[mothra_hater]

^ if thats not cheating anymore? what do you call it?

[Nils]

@ ms ****** siomai

[Mark T. Market]

^ if thats not cheating anymore? what do you call it?

I think you don't call it anything anymore--since the act is consensual and there wouldn't be any deceit involved. I won't be any different from any other "vice" that the partner condones.

Like your #9 above--it's an issue of defining exclusivity, and what constitutes exclusivity.

However, there's also the other party involved--and while the person may not be cheating per se to his/her legal partner, there may in fact be deceit on the other side: i.e. the person isn't honest to their flings that they already have an existing partner.

In this case, cheating needs deception.

[Ghost Rider]

correction, I'm Miss ****** Siomai. And as I said, I don't consider cheating a dealbreaker, especially if my boyfriend is not really a serial playboy or a maangas jerk. I'm after the total package of the person plus the kind of interaction I have with him. As I said, kung si Al Gore or Bill Clinton partner ko, magdadala pa ako ng sampung strippers to dance in front of him after a hard day.

Ang swerte naman ng mapapangasawa mo

[blue_tracer]

Ang swerte naman ng mapapangasawa mo

oo nga.. ha ha ha

walang cheating dito eh parang binigay na ni 'titser' yung sagot ng eksamen sa estudyante mismo

[infinite_trial]

ms ****** tsomai, pwede rin ba humawak sa strippers ang bf mo?

payag ako sa ganyang setup kung meron din akong macho dancers

[intsik siomai]

Some men will take advantage of such "freedom" to cheat and fool around, but there are still a few who won't. Some men prefer the intimacy of a monogamous relationship. Some men are also concerned with health risks involved in promiscuity. If we are extremely concerned with our partner staying sexually faithful, I think that aside from choosing a partner who has a higher need for monogamous relationship, we should also make it a point that they get "busog" with us. Our partner has to be sexually busog to ignore the other "food" being offered outside. Gee, that can be exhausting for both parties...

[blue_tracer]

I think that aside from choosing a partner who has a higher need for monogamous relationship, we should also make it a point that they get "busog" with us. Our partner has to be sexually busog to ignore the other "food" being offered outside. Gee, that can be exhausting for both parties...

oh my.. if all the girls are like you.. then i might fall in love again.

haluer!

[intsik siomai]

This is also where sexual compatibility comes in. Some couples are really compatible in bed. The level of energy and enthusiasm and preferences are compatible. They also need sex at comparable frequency and intensity. Good for them! But sexual compatiblity is just one of the many many aspects of a relationship. Some couples start off well because of the compatible sexuality, but still end up in chaos because they have diverging ambitions, personal and career goals.

It would be nice if we can find someone with similar peaks and troughs as we have, so both can work towards maintaining a certain equilibrium.
Example: economic: you both view 10k salary as too low, and 50k salary as too high, both agree that saving 50% is "just right", both view going to europe as "too lavish".. sex: both wants sex every weekend, both enjoys more oral than actual, both enjoy role-playing like zorro and damsel in distress game in bed.. type of activities and level of indulgence in activities: both love playing high intensity football every sunday..
Kung malaki and differences or discrepancies ng mga different aspects of those, the lower the compatiblity of the couple. The less compatible, the more dissatisfaction. The more dissatisfaction, the more you tend to yearn for and desire others..

[Mark T. Market]

^ Although I applaud the openness in the approach, I have to ask though: is the premise of this merely to keep the man/partner faithful? Or is it also for the benefit of the girl?

In the Hillary/Bill situation, Hillary is justified tolerating Bill's indiscretion because she also benefits from Bill's status as President. Her motive is not to give Bill a break to keep him sane, but to protect her own interests as First Lady. Thus, it works.

However, if the leeway granted by the girl is merely to give the guy emotional/sexual space--for the purpose of retaining his faithfulness, it seems like the girl is giving up something of her's for something that she already has the right to (e.g. exclusivity, by virtue of marriage).

[mothra_hater]

^ Although I applaud the openness in the approach, I have to ask though: is the premise of this merely to keep the man/partner faithful? Or is it also for the benefit of the girl?

In the Hillary/Bill situation, Hillary is justified tolerating Bill's indiscretion because she also benefits from Bill's status as President. Her motive is not to give Bill a break to keep him sane, but to protect her own interests as First Lady. Thus, it works.

However, if the leeway granted by the girl is merely to give the guy emotional/sexual space--for the purpose of retaining his faithfulness, it seems like the girl is giving up something of her's for something that she already has the right to (e.g. exclusivity, by virtue of marriage).

ikaw din yun nawalan...parang ganun ba ibig mong sabihin?