would you still go back to your husband just for your childs sake??? advise please!!

[reality_hurts]

If you where in my shoes would you still go back to your husband even though you dont love him, just for your childrens welfare?

[whiskeysugar]

for me much better huwag na lang ..magbigay na lang siya ng support sa mga bata..anyway,tatay naman nila yan at dapat done legally yong paghihiwalay niyo at pagsupport niya sa bata..well,hindi ko rin alam kung ano yong dahilan bakit hindi mo na siya mahal pero kung matindi talaga ang reason para gawin mo yon,den go!!

[quichelorraine]

If you where in my shoes would you still go back to your husband even though you dont love him, just for your childrens welfare?

WHY?

Anong anggulo (angle) ng welfare ng anak mo ang maisasalba o maitatama mo kung babalik ka sa lalaking di mo mahal? sa lalaking baka hindi ka na rin nirerespeto?

matatalino na ang mga bata ngayon. hindi nila tatanawing utang na loob sayo na pinakisamahan mo ang tatay nila para sa kanila. in the first place, it's just the tradition that dictates us na "para sa mga bata" ang gagawin ng isang magulang kung sila ay magsasama kahit hindi na sila masaya. gets mo?

anong silbi ng pagsasama nyo kung ang atmosphere sa loob ng tahanan mo ay mabigat dahil pareho kayong 2 na hindi magkasundo sa maraming bagay?

anong silbi ng pagsasama nyo kung Sunday (church day, malling day, family day) at hindi kayo magkakasama buong pamilya kahit nasa loob kayo ng iisang bubong?

anong silbi ng pagsasama nyo kung magkakasama nga kayo ng Sunday (or whatever day) pero wala namang "happiness at love" na nakikita o nararamdaman ang mga anak nyo sa inyong 2? na para bang may wall na namamagitan sa inyong 2?

anong silbi ng pagsasama nyo kung ikaw may iba ka ng mahal at ang asawa mo ay may iba na ding mahal? may ibang tinetext? may ibang kausap sa telepono ng matagal? may tinatagong relasyon sa inyo ng mga anak mo? may sinasamang ibang babae kapag pumupunta sila ng anak mo sa mall?

anong silbi ng pagsasama ninyo?

hindi ba't mas katanggap tanggap na paliwanagan nyo na lang ng maayos ang mga anak nyo? sabihin nyo (mo) ang totoo, na may iba-iba kayong paniniwala, values, preferences, pananaw, pangarap, at drama sa buhay ng ex-husband to be mo.

ngayon, kung ang lalaking napangasawa mo ay inutil, wag ka ng umasang magbibigay sha. kesyo magbigay sha o hindi, wag mo ng pakialaman. ask him to give financial support (even emotional support sa mga anak mo), pero kung di nya kaya, then leave him be. mamamatay din yan. ang mahalaga, gumawa ka ng paraan para makaraos kayong mag iina - gamit ang sarili mong kakayahan at pera. sa oras na to, hindi na importante kung magsasama kayong 2. maybe your kids have suffered enough - maybe lagi kayong nag aaway --- hindi ko alam. pero sa ngayon, what your kids need is Peace. inside the house and among their parents. yung ang importante. yung hindi kayo nagbabangayan. yung walang nagwawalang-hiyaan sa inyong 2.

ang importante ngayon ay makita nila na masaya ka sa kung anumang desisyon mo. masaya ka para sa sarili mo at masaya ka para sa anak mo. hindi dahil magkalayo na kayo ng future ex husband mo. pero dahil by then alam mo sa sarili mo na tama ang ginawa mo at yon ang pinakamabuti para sa kanila. na hindi mo kinamumuhian ang tatay nila (well, kahit pakitang tao na lang, para na sa mga anak mo). wag mong mumurahin o magsasalita ng kahit na anong negative tungkol sa tatay nila. maging kalmante ka sa lahat ng oras lalo na pag anjan yung lalaki na yun. mahalin mo ang bago mong sitwasyon, at susunod na din ang pagmamahal ng mga anak mo sa bago nilang mundo.

[baklita]

pag si quichelorraine ang kausap mo tiyak hahantong
sa hiwalayan at may samaan pa ng loob. beware!

aihihihi!!!

baklita

[baklita]

the reply to the mere question is simply no... but...

more often, one has to look deeper into the real issue that
transpired between you and your husband. oftentimes, lack
of communication is one culprit. if both of you can fill up the
gap, slowly in a way build up the trust you both had and spend
more time together... there's a chance to revive the relationship.

kakain pa ba kayong dalawa sa mcdo katulad ng dati?

aihihihi!!!

baklita

[quichelorraine]

pag si quichelorraine ang kausap mo tiyak hahantong
sa hiwalayan at may samaan pa ng loob. beware!

aihihihi!!!

baklita

Luka luka ka, baklita! Ha ha ha

[quichelorraine]

the reply to the mere question is simply no... but...

more often, one has to look deeper into the real issue that
transpired between you and your husband. oftentimes, lack
of communication is one culprit. if both of you can fill up the
gap, slowly in a way build up the trust you both had and spend
more time together... there's a chance to revive the relationship.

kakain pa ba kayong dalawa sa mcdo katulad ng dati?

aihihihi!!!

baklita

my dear, baklush, mukha namang wala ng balak ayusin ni threadstarter and kanyang relasyon with her husband eh. by the looks of her question (basta yon na yon), gusto nya lang malaman if it is right to stay with her husband while their kids are in their nest.

[imsosexy]

Imo, if the kids are young then yes.. they shouldnt be the one to suffer from you and your husbands fault.

if theyre old enough to understand whats happening then for your own happiness you can go ahead and leave your husband.

[kaningbrown]

Imo, if the kids are young then yes.. they shouldnt be the one to suffer from you and your husbands fault.

if theyre old enough to understand whats happening then for your own happiness you can go ahead and leave your husband.

I've had seperated parents even when I was young. I can't imagine ever suffering from them living in different roofs. You know what's worse? Having to go to a house where parents are staying together only to bicker in front of kids.

It's a fallacy that kids who got seperated parents tend to live less successful lives. If they look like they're rebelling because their parents are spliting up, that just means they haven't been beaten up enough.

[Santiago75]

Mas masama pa if your children grows up in a household full of anger and loveless marriage. It affects them. It will influence their behavior. Your children are better off growing up in a single parent household.

[imsosexy]

^ i still believe that children should grow up with both parents. The marriage doesnt have to be full of love, being civil and having respect to one another will do. Hindi kasalanan ng mga bata na di na mahal ng parents niya ang isat isa but if the parents love their children they should not make it worse that they will again start a new family. Lalo na pag bata pa yung anak, selfish sila kung maghihiwalay tapos magpapamilya ulit. Pero kung yung mga anak niya malalakit na siguro thats the only time na mag hanap siya ulit ng bago niyang love.

[imsosexy]

And based on the threat title. The hubby want him back shes the one who fell out off love. So selfish move is to leave the guy and and move on. Selfless move is to stick to the guy for the sake of the kid

[reality_hurts]

before I start..let me thank you guys for sharing your thoughts.
I've been with him for 15yrs. (isnt that enough time to fix the marriage?) He was my 1st everything, until he change..not for good but it bacame worse and worse everyday.
The issues are not petty ones that can be fix overnight. It's been 2years na since I left our house, dala ko mga anak ko, It took lots of guts para magawa ko yun, kasi palagi nasa isip ko what will happen sa mga anak ko. Until one day I said to myself "AYAW KO NA!".
Yes he still wants me back, even blackmails my family and friends
para sabihin lang kung san ako nakatira.

[purpleheadd07]

do you think such atmosphere of animosity between the two of you can still become ideal for your kids to grow up in?

what will that do to your kids' self-esteem knowing that you are sacrificing your own happiness for their sake.

or maybe you just don't have enough courage to leave and is just making your kids as your scapegoat?

[imsosexy]

if theyre too young to know that their mother is sacrificing her happiness for the sake of them then thats okay. complete family is always better than broken family

[yummy_mummy]

[QUOTE=kaningbrown;33880888]I've had seperated parents even when I was young. I can't imagine ever suffering from them living in different roofs. You know what's worse? Having to go to a house where parents are staying together only to bicker in front of kids.
[QUOTE]

I agree

[Nils]

before I start..let me thank you guys for sharing your thoughts.
I've been with him for 15yrs. (isnt that enough time to fix the marriage?) He was my 1st everything, until he change..not for good but it bacame worse and worse everyday.
The issues are not petty ones that can be fix overnight. It's been 2years na since I left our house, dala ko mga anak ko, It took lots of guts para magawa ko yun, kasi palagi nasa isip ko what will happen sa mga anak ko. Until one day I said to myself "AYAW KO NA!".
Yes he still wants me back, even blackmails my family and friends
para sabihin lang kung san ako nakatira.

there you go... do you really think that a person who has no respect for your friends and family is worthy of raising your kids?

[purpleheadd07]

if theyre too young to know that their mother is sacrificing her happiness for the sake of them then thats okay. complete family is always better than broken family

a kid can never be too young especially as far as sensing how harmonious a family can be. unless you are both great actors.

[emanresu]

I know a story where the wife working abroad, one day she told her husband in the Philippines, that she doesn't love him anymore and she did not like to go on with their marriage just for the kids. But the husband begged for her not to abandon their marriage. In response, she then told his husband the she has filed divorced already so there's no way they will be getting back together.

The guy found out later from one of her(her) bestfriend that the wife is having an affair with another guy (who is also with kids, with more money, of course, and also living abroad and who also left his wife).

Well, eventually the husband accepted the offer, left their old place together with their kids, totally cutting off every communication with the wife to their kids. He then told their kids that their mother is dead, and filed complaints in the DFA in order to get his wife deported back to the Philippines and be banned in the country where the wife is working.

Sounds like a fair game ehh

[emanresu]

I know a story where the wife working abroad, one day she told her husband in the Philippines, that she doesn't love him anymore and she did not like to go on with their marriage just for the kids. But the husband begged for her not to abandon their marriage. In response, she then told her husband the she has filed divorced abroad (w/c is illegal because they are married in the Philippines) already so there's no way they will be getting back together.

The guy found out later from one of her, yes, her bestfriend that the wife is having an affair with another guy (who is also with kids, with more money, of course, and also living abroad and who also left his wife).

Well, eventually the husband accepted the offer, left their old place together with their kids, totally cutting off every communication with the wife to their kids. He then told their kids that their mother is dead, and filed complaints in the DFA in order to get his wife deported back to the Philippines and be banned in the country where the wife is working.

Sounds like a fair game ehh