Pano kaibiganin ang silent type at mukhang masungit?

[indieover]

i am quiet person. it is hard to open to people.

[LimpBwiZit]

i thought this is a topic on a general POV. you're referring lang pala sa pagiging boss mo. excuse me ha. hahawak lang ako kasi parang it suddenly became windy here

saan pa ba ako pwedeng mag-assert?
pag friends naman, i respect them kung anong gusto nila sa buhay nila, kaya wala kaming paki-alaman.
napaka-personal naman ng attack mo. porke ba't sabihin kong head ako sa office e mayabang na ako? nag-aral naman ako ng maayos at nagtatrabaho ng maayos kaya ko naabot yan.

why are you wasting your energy in being irritated with such people? all you have to do naman is just dismiss the scene. that's it.

sino naman nagsabing nagwi-waste ako ng energy sa ganyan? naka-headphones na lang nga ako lagi pag-pumasok sa work para kunwari wala akong naririnig sa sinasabi nila dahil alam ko na ang script.

you are more of a reserved-type of person. you find it hard to unfold your true self for some reason.

thanks mr/ms. psychologist, now i know myself better.

[Slake]

saan pa ba ako pwedeng mag-assert?
pag friends naman, i respect them kung anong gusto nila sa buhay nila, kaya wala kaming paki-alaman.

i suppose you don't only naman deal with your "subordinates". meron ka pa naman sigurong ibang taong nakakasalamuha, nakikita or nakakasalubong other than your friends.

napaka-personal naman ng attack mo. porke ba't sabihin kong head ako sa office e mayabang na ako? nag-aral naman ako ng maayos at nagtatrabaho ng maayos kaya ko naabot yan.

losen up . i wasn't attacking you. read up and read well. try to understand what i said.

sino naman nagsabing nagwi-waste ako ng energy sa ganyan? naka-headphones na lang nga ako lagi pag-pumasok sa work para kunwari wala akong naririnig sa sinasabi nila dahil alam ko na ang script.

if you're not wasting energy on such then why did you even bother to write these things down and even give specific scenarios? detailed pa ha

thanks mr/ms. psychologist, now i know myself better.

hey, it's MS

anyways, you're very much welcome, mr sungit

[LimpBwiZit]

i suppose you don't only naman deal with your "subordinates". meron ka pa naman sigurong ibang taong nakakasalamuha, nakikita or nakakasalubong other than your friends.

yes. i only deal with subordinates. in pilipinas, been living alone in my apartment for 8 years, except a brief interruption due to a brief live-in relationship.

high school too, lived alone.

may mga social circles din naman ako - sports, frat, batchmates, friends. but i usually attend social functions only. and usually, i just find the most familiar person and sit beside him/her and watch the rest do their acts.

di rin ako ang tipong drink beer with sports friends after a match.

free time is spent reading a book and having coffee. (yes, weekends, i sometimes have 5 grande fraps)

here in france, i share an apartment with 2 french guys pero ganun lang din kaming 3, kanya-kanyang computer ang kaharap. nagkakasama lang kami, physically and in spirit, pag may football match or maglaro ng wii. walang pakialaman, ganun lang ang patakaran dito.

to be straight about this, i just avoid getting personal with so many people coz it makes your life more complicated.

don't get me wrong again. i have a social life and it's very much alive, pero i only socialize with individualistic persons, yong hindi mokelangan kausapin para ma-entertain, or kaya nyang gumawa ng sarili nyang katuwaan without you.

if you're not wasting energy on such then why did you even bother to write these things down and even give specific scenarios? detailed pa ha

because we're talking about it here? because this a forum? because i want to share an insight?

dunno. maybe i'm just passionate with this topic.

hey, it's MS

anyways, you're very much welcome, mr sungit

sungit, and other names like autistic, psycho, weirdo, suplado, snob, egoistic, egocentric, eccentric, mayabang, anti-social, arrogant - ganun tawag sa akin.

for me, label doesn't matter. it's actually a choice, and to a certain extent, nature ko na rin. i prefer to call it "independence" though.

[almond90]

a. So does this mean that you ALWAYS prefer other people to make the first move to introduce themselves to you?

In my case, not really. Pero when I'm not in the "mood" to talk...I'd rather just keep quiet.

b. Did you ever try to take initiative to be the one to break the ice?
As in even just once?
OO naman. Introverted siguro, yung tamang description sa akin. Di ko kasi kayang makipaggroup study dahil wala akong napapagaralan!Pag I need to come up with new ideas... kailangan din ako lang magisa. Nahihirapan akong magconcentrate pag maraming tao. Dumadaldal at lumilipad ang utak ko.


c. Don't you feel the need to assert the yourself? Kasi ako pag hindi ko nabigay yung opinion ko lalo na sa tingin ko relevant suggestion ko, feeling ko I'd burst if I keep it to myself lang
d. Do you hate madaldal people? Nyahaha. Sorry ha, kasi i'm so talkative and such a chatterbox kaya baka naaiinis ibang tao. Ang topic ko naman palagi about school, work or the weather, nothing personal, if I try to know other people.Minsan nga, I start with outright yet sincere flattery like, 'Uy, I like your dress. You look nice today kasi its a change from your usual shirt and jeans get-up." i usually get a brief smile of thanks and it starts from there. some surprisingly can carry a conversation pero yung iba parang wala na ma-sabi or they just want 2 kill the conversation na.

Baka ayaw na talaga ikaw kausapin. Pag nakasanayan mo na kasing "ganun" mahirap na baguhin. Maraming factors na nakakaapekto like yung the way you were brought up, environment na kinalakihan mo, past experiences (mostly painful), self perception. So even if nararamdaman mo kailangan mong ilabas yung opinion mo, minsan or usually nakakaramdam ka ng takot of being embarrassed/rejected. So yeah...


There's nothing wrong naman with being "quiet". Kaya lang maraming disadvantages like literally marami kang mamimiss na opportunities sa buhay mo. It's not impossible naman though na magbago ng onti. Practice lang yan.

Hope you don't mind answering my questions. Kasi naaliw lang ako what goes on in the mind of quiet people. I have some quiet-looking people on the surface pero un pala pag kasama mo na matagal, leche, madaldal pa sa akin, hahaha.;lol: kaya hindi ko na naiisip na quiet sila pero ang sa tingin pa rin ng iba quiet sila... Kaya doon ako hanga sa mga quiet-looking people eh. They can make everyone believe they're quiet pero in truth ang ingay din pala pag close friends kasama...

in truth,maingay din akong person


Though hindi ko rin alam yung iba... kasi meron na kahit kausapin mo na, di ka parin kakausapin

[Slake]

yes. i only deal with subordinates.

so you don't deal with superiors at all? why, if i may ask?

in pilipinas, been living alone in my apartment for 8 years, except a brief interruption due to a brief live-in relationship.

high school too, lived alone.

how brief is that interruption? did it not teach you how to unfold yourself with other people? i mean from my point of view, that stage of your life should have given you at least a better touch on the way you view things and how you so blossom out with others.

may mga social circles din naman ako - sports, frat, batchmates, friends. but i usually attend social functions only. and usually, i just find the most familiar person and sit beside him/her and watch the rest do their acts.

mejo i can relate on this ha

di rin ako ang tipong drink beer with sports friends after a match.

why not give it a shot kahit paminsan lang? you don't naman need to drink and get drunk. you just have to be there and have convo and all. try to get to know them more by listening to their stories. that way, you'll be able to somehow gauge if these people can be trusted. who knows, you might be able to find another real friend to keep. it's not everyday that we find real friends and for us to find one, we have to take a chance

free time is spent reading a book and having coffee. (yes, weekends, i sometimes have 5 grande fraps)

mejo can relate na naman ako dito ha . what kinds of book do you usually read?

here in france, i share an apartment with 2 french guys pero ganun lang din kaming 3, kanya-kanyang computer ang kaharap. nagkakasama lang kami, physically and in spirit, pag may football match or maglaro ng wii. walang pakialaman, ganun lang ang patakaran dito.

i basically live alone.

to be straight about this, i just avoid getting personal with so many people coz it makes your life more complicated.

i don't think it does. i think you are more afraid of being accepted for who you really are. most people who have gone through a difficult time in their lives (once or more) tend to hide or stay underneath their shell because that way, they feel they are more safe. this in fact is a logical effect and i, myself completely understand that. i was once like you...

i think you need to be comfortable in your own skin and totally accept who you are and for what you are. it starts from there and that includes accepting all your flaws, your weaknesses, and every unpleasant thing that happened to you. this is you and all these are a part of who you are. people may not be able to understand that and see your beauty behind all your imperfections. if that's the case, then they are not worthy of being with you. it only proves that they're not in your same wavelength. perhaps they, too, aren't comfortable in their own true skin.

this is one of the many risks of life. you unfold and you risk getting accepted. but the beauty of it is, you get to pick the worthy pieces and drop those who don't fit in. unless you do that, you'll never know which is which.

don't get me wrong again. i have a social life and it's very much alive, pero i only socialize with individualistic persons, yong hindi mokelangan kausapin para ma-entertain, or kaya nyang gumawa ng sarili nyang katuwaan without you.

i know what you mean

because we're talking about it here? because this a forum? because i want to share an insight?

dunno. maybe i'm just passionate with this topic.

point taken.

sungit, and other names like autistic, psycho, weirdo, suplado, snob, egoistic, egocentric, eccentric, mayabang, anti-social, arrogant - ganun tawag sa akin.

for me, label doesn't matter. it's actually a choice, and to a certain extent, nature ko na rin. i prefer to call it "independence" though.

hey, hold it. did you just call me?

[clawed_out]

eh di kausapin to get to know them better.

mahirap bang gawin yon?

ang dami-daming satsat at kadrahahan eh doon din hahantong yon.

kabobohan.

[feisty_virago]

madaldal = noise pollution.. majority of them are blunt and lacks courtesy and breeding.

Ouch. Heehee.

I am not blunt when I have met someone for the firs time, we talk about safe topics, like work, what they do, the economy, politics etc but never about other people. Thats for drinking sessions with people you have seen ****, knocked out or naked. although Im quite boyish so I guess i'm more of lacking in finesse with my actions. Hindi ako girly-girl.

I wouldn't say I'm rude naman. I'm talkative as in the sense that I like exchanging ideas, opinions and insights with people. Talking about sensible things is actually education as well.

Breeding? (or the lack thereof) Um i don't have a prominent Spanish or Chinese surname but I think my parents raised me well. I listen when someone is talking and not interrupt. I talk when my opinion is asked. But I guess I just have the innate personality in me to get into talking with someone especially when I know I'll be stuck there for a long time, like in an hospital waiting room, talking with other applicants while waiting for an interview, in a seminar with your colleagues from other firms etc. etc. It's true what they say you know. A sincere smile coupled with a sensible conversation topic can do wonders.

so if being madaldal is a crime, sue me.

[decent]

just smile and talk with your heart because people like some of us sense fake person...

[-gelay-]

eh di kausapin to get to know them better.

mahirap bang gawin yon?

ang dami-daming satsat at kadrahahan eh doon din hahantong yon.

silent type nga daw kasi e, they don't talk back.
so i guess, one has to resort to sign language if only to send the message.

[-gelay-]

madaldal = noise pollution.. majority of them are blunt and lacks courtesy and breeding.

that's not a definition, that's a postulate.
...a pretty fantastic postulate.

[LimpBwiZit]

so you don't deal with superiors at all? why, if i may ask?

i do deal with them but i don't think i have the right to asssert against their wishes. i always trust the judgment of my superiors.

how brief is that interruption? did it not teach you how to unfold yourself with other people? i mean from my point of view, that stage of your life should have given you at least a better touch on the way you view things and how you so blossom out with others.

3 months...well, pareho kami ng prinsipyo sa buhay...too bad she left me

why not give it a shot kahit paminsan lang? you don't naman need to drink and get drunk. you just have to be there and have convo and all. try to get to know them more by listening to their stories. that way, you'll be able to somehow gauge if these people can be trusted. who knows, you might be able to find another real friend to keep. it's not everyday that we find real friends and for us to find one, we have to take a chance

unfortunately, either they're too old or too young.

too old mga ka-tennis ko and they talk about serious stuff all the time, inc. bragging about their seminars abroad, their new car, and their fat bonuses, or the financial standing of the companies they're working in, latest developments in the industry they're in, stuff like that - stuff i'm not so interested in.

too young mga ka-football ko and i can't relate to their PSPs, etc. besides, they have their own college barkada and i just don't feel i fit in.

mejo can relate na naman ako dito ha . what kinds of book do you usually read?

classic literature and some german, spanish or italian books, just to keep me in touch with laguages i know but don't actively use.

i don't think it does. i think you are more afraid of being accepted for who you really are. most people who have gone through a difficult time in their lives (once or more) tend to hide or stay underneath their shell because that way, they feel they are more safe. this in fact is a logical effect and i, myself completely understand that. i was once like you...

i think you need to be comfortable in your own skin and totally accept who you are and for what you are. it starts from there and that includes accepting all your flaws, your weaknesses, and every unpleasant thing that happened to you. this is you and all these are a part of who you are. people may not be able to understand that and see your beauty behind all your imperfections. if that's the case, then they are not worthy of being with you. it only proves that they're not in your same wavelength. perhaps they, too, aren't comfortable in their own true skin.

this is one of the many risks of life. you unfold and you risk getting accepted. but the beauty of it is, you get to pick the worthy pieces and drop those who don't fit in. unless you do that, you'll never know which is which.

i think mine is a long history of living alone and being away from my family since i was 5.

i kind of developed this instinctive reaction of avoiding people with tendency to become socially and emotionally dependent on me.

i somehow enjoy being alone and i kind of hate it when people start insisting that i should join them in this or in that. esp. during my teens, when i was like the "freeest" teenager in school, all those who are bored come to me and start bugging me to go with him/her to this place or do this with him/her. bummer that i felt obliged to go coz they're nice to me and stuff.

and then i realized that if everyone's nice, then i won't have time for myself, coz i felt like i was their default "run-to" coz i'm always available. and then later on, they just become too dependent that you already find them staying in your house for a couple of weeks and you're like batman and robin in all things.

dunno, i'm a big fan of self-reliance and i kind of hate it when my friends cannot do things on their own, and i'm always their run-to guy.

i simply want to avoid any interdependence coz i'm already very comfortable doing stuff on my own. i mean, i don't really ask for help from anyone, even on very serious matters, except from my family, to a certain extent.

all things i can call "achievements', i sort of achieved them on my own. i even learned to speak foreign languages on my own (basically because i don't want to seek anyone's help, nor expect anyone to help me, if i get lost in some country whose language i don't speak) and learned to play tennis hitting the ball against the wall and yeah, i drove on my own after 3 days of instruction coz i thought that's all i needed to learn.

and i'm kinda proud to say that i've had jobs that my peers envy me for, purely on my own and it always raises a lot of questions and crazy speculations on how i got these jobs.it's not like i belong to some secret society or something, it's just that i always believe i can do things on my own, and i act based on that belief.

people who have, at one point or another, become my close friends actually thank me for the things about self-reliance they learned from me coz it made them better persons. though i acknowledge that mine is an extreme case.

[Slake]

i do deal with them but i don't think i have the right to asssert against their wishes. i always trust the judgment of my superiors.

what if they're wrong? you speak of independence. that should mean you assess and decide on things on your own. in fact, even our superiors do make mistakes sometimes. no one is born perfect. the path of one does not necessarily mean it's going to be the same path of another. it doesn't work that way.

3 months...well, pareho kami ng prinsipyo sa buhay...too bad she left me

if pareho kayo ng prinsipyo sa buhay, then you must have gotten along well together. why did she leave you?

and why that sad face? you miss her?

unfortunately, either they're too old or too young.

too old mga ka-tennis ko and they talk about serious stuff all the time, inc. bragging about their seminars abroad, their new car, and their fat bonuses, or the financial standing of the companies they're working in, latest developments in the industry they're in, stuff like that - stuff i'm not so interested in.

too young mga ka-football ko and i can't relate to their PSPs, etc. besides, they have their own college barkada and i just don't feel i fit in.

we can learn from people. we can learn from the mistakes, success and struggles of the old ones. the younger ones remind us to take things slow and savour each moment that we have and to continue hoping for a better tomorrow.

it's not a question of whether we fit in or not. the important thing is we learn and get to share a part of us in the process.

classic literature and some german, spanish or italian books, just to keep me in touch with laguages i know but don't actively use.

learnings are never a waste.

i think mine is a long history of living alone and being away from my family since i was 5.

i understand...

i kind of developed this instinctive reaction of avoiding people with tendency to become socially and emotionally dependent on me.

i somehow enjoy being alone and i kind of hate it when people start insisting that i should join them in this or in that. esp. during my teens, when i was like the "freeest" teenager in school, all those who are bored come to me and start bugging me to go with him/her to this place or do this with him/her. bummer that i felt obliged to go coz they're nice to me and stuff.

i was once so like you...

and then i realized that if everyone's nice, then i won't have time for myself, coz i felt like i was their default "run-to" coz i'm always available. and then later on, they just become too dependent that you already find them staying in your house for a couple of weeks and you're like batman and robin in all things.

people like you because "you are a good person" and they see that. they feel that. sadly, others abuse that and take you for granted.

a clone here is talking.. sigh.

dunno, i'm a big fan of self-reliance and i kind of hate it when my friends cannot do things on their own, and i'm always their run-to guy.

i know exactly what you mean, which is why i later learned that it doesn't hurt to say "no". it doesn't hurt to "err" when you're bleeding.

i simply want to avoid any interdependence coz i'm already very comfortable doing stuff on my own. i mean, i don't really ask for help from anyone, even on very serious matters, except from my family, to a certain extent.


all things i can call "achievements', i sort of achieved them on my own. i even learned to speak foreign languages on my own (basically because i don't want to seek anyone's help, nor expect anyone to help me, if i get lost in some country whose language i don't speak) and learned to play tennis hitting the ball against the wall and yeah, i drove on my own after 3 days of instruction coz i thought that's all i needed to learn.

and i'm kinda proud to say that i've had jobs that my peers envy me for, purely on my own and it always raises a lot of questions and crazy speculations on how i got these jobs.

i don't find it hard to spell the word "independence". i wonder why...

it's not like i belong to some secret society or something, it's just that i always believe i can do things on my own, and i act based on that belief.

it's possible and tell you what, it's more efficient. but it's just not enough, is it?

people who have, at one point or another, become my close friends actually thank me for the things about self-reliance they learned from me coz it made them better persons. though i acknowledge that mine is an extreme case.

in time, i know you're going to be ok... i strongly believe that.

[clawed_out]

silent type nga daw kasi e, they don't talk back.
so i guess, one has to resort to sign language if only to send the message.

this is what they try to insinuate as they feel inferior and back out as they see a person with that aura.

don't feel you are not worthy of a "hello". Open a conversation, a casual and generic one, and the other party will respond.

One thing to do on your part as being intimidated, do not appear to be empty and stupid.

That's the fault of most people. Well, it's not my problem anymore.

[bitwise]

its obvious that limp and slake are getting along just ffiiiiinnnnneeee...

i suggest you two buy an overpriced coffee in starbucks and have some talk....

seriously, its really not cheap if you meet people here. specially with that kind of convo history...



PEACE.

[LimpBwiZit]

what if they're wrong? you speak of independence. that should mean you assess and decide on things on your own. in fact, even our superiors do make mistakes sometimes. no one is born perfect. the path of one does not necessarily mean it's going to be the same path of another. it doesn't work that way.

i stay in my sphere of competence - the legal aspect, and they respect my opinion on legal matters. all other aspects, all theirs.

if pareho kayo ng prinsipyo sa buhay, then you must have gotten along well together. why did she leave you?

and why that sad face? you miss her?

yes, we were good together. one misunderstanding and she left, never bothered to run after her coz i thought she'd come back.

she never came back

one of the main reasons why i packed up and went back to europe. too bad, when i got here, found their house sold and she's back in the phils...

but i've found new career opportunities here in the meantime and i'm happy so i think the chase stops here.

sad enough for a face like this ---> ?

kitams, pati love story kinwento na

[Slake]

i stay in my sphere of competence - the legal aspect, and they respect my opinion on legal matters. all other aspects, all theirs.

got that one noted. i understand what you mean.

yes, we were good together.

if that's the case, then it's something you have to fight for, don't you think so?

the traffic lights tell us a lot. for as long as you see green, then the road is still open for the run.

one misunderstanding and she left, never bothered to run after her coz i thought she'd come back.

or rather, you were too scared to open up yourself to her that much? or was it pride that has been pulling you back to run after her?

as the saying goes, "if you're not willing to risk everything, then you don't want it bad enough".

she never came back

what made you say that?

one of the main reasons why i packed up and went back to europe. too bad, when i got here, found their house sold and she's back in the phils...

what if she was waiting for you, too? but since pride and fear took too much of you, she thought it would be better to just runaway and be back in the phils instead of just staying and waiting in vain in europe.

pride makes us lose so much of the people we care about. in the process, we lose ourselves, too.

but i've found new career opportunities here in the meantime and i'm happy so i think the chase stops here.

i'll say it again... "if you're not willing to risk everything, then you don't want it bad enough".

sad enough for a face like this ---> ?

i dunno. only you can tell.

kitams, pati love story kinwento na

i'm willing to listen, though

[Slake]

its obvious that limp and slake are getting along just ffiiiiinnnnneeee...

i suggest you two buy an overpriced coffee in starbucks and have some talk....

seriously, its really not cheap if you meet people here. specially with that kind of convo history...



PEACE.

your treat?

[bitwise]

@slake
err... ill never pay for somebody else's date!!! hahahaha

BUT if you'll go out with me and not with him, of course... :P

well i just briefly scanned the exchange of messages between the 2 of you and i think limp can manage to pay since he is "THE boss"

i dont think he'll give in to my "dare"... no reactions from him hehe

[Slake]

@slake
err... ill never pay for somebody else's date!!! hahahaha

BUT if you'll go out with me and not with him, of course... :P

well i just briefly scanned the exchange of messages between the 2 of you and i think limp can manage to pay since he is "THE boss"

right

i dont think he'll give in to my "dare"... no reactions from him hehe

and you thought i did? duh! i don't go out with people i don't know