My love story goes like this..

[inLUvWit'U]

For my love one, i hope you can read this..

Whenever i tell a story about you, and someone asks who are you, when and how did i meet you, i would always say that you are my childhood friend. Then, my face would stare into nothingness trying to think of my memories with you when i was a kid.. to my disappointment, i cannot remember any coz i found out that you were never my friend. We never played childhood games. I never played hide and seek with you or tug o' war. We never had anything when we were kids.

You are the little kid who lives near my bestfriend's house every summer vacation. Maybe, i would love to say that you are my childhood enemy. You have this grouchy face. You never know how to smile. You dont even know how to say hi. I never found you good looking or interesting that time. Akala mo kung sino ka gwapo.. Ang pangit-pangit mo kaya...

Everytime you go to my province, people would always tease us.. Naiinis ako kase ayokong tuksuhin sayo. Hindi kaya kita gusto...

Hanggang sa di ka na bumalik. Nag-highschool ka na siguro. Hindi ka na nagbakasyon dun. HIndi na kita nakita. Pero who cares?

Nagcollege ako. It was so surprising, bigla tayo nagusap. You're taking infotech. Im taking computer studies. PInahiram mo ako ng book mo. Close tayo? ewan ko.. pero naguusap tayo sa telepono. Pumunta ka pa nga sa bahay para *** dalhin yung book mo. na after how many months kinuha mo rin. i would say you gave some effort para puntahan ako. Nasa magkabilang dulo kase tayo ng Manila.

Then, time slips by. Hindi na ulit tayo nagusap. Busy ako. Busy ka siguro. Wala na ako balita sayo.

Umuwi ako ng province. Umuwi ka din pala.

Siguro bored ka. tinext mo ako. Hindi ko alam ikaw un. wala ka kase sa phone book ko. Then nagusap na ulit tayo, na kala mo matagal na tayo naguusap. Parang close tayo. ang dami natin napagusapan.

The next day, we met. After how many years, non lang ulit tayo nagkita. You look so different. Hindi na ikaw *** pangit na bata na umuuwi sa province. You're taller. You look good.. Sabihin na natin, na gumwapo ka. pero hindi ko pa rin ikaw gusto..

Kinagabihan, nagala tayo. We went around the town. Iniangkas mo ako sa bike mo. It seems like you're hugging me as we drove around. You were so close that you can smell me and i can hear how you breathe into my ears.

We went over to a friend's house. Everybody asked if we're a couple. We just gave a faint smile. We cant say anything. We know we're not. Non nga lang tayo nagusap ulit. KUng bakit ako sumama at umangkas sa bisikleta mo, ewan ko. siguro i felt comfortable with you.

Nung umuwi na tayo, hinabol pa tayo ng aso. I just wish that time na sana tapos na, sana nsa bahay na ako para hindi ko na maramdaman *** awkward feelings towards you.

the next day we went out again. we went to the beach as if there's no other place to hang out with. the only company that we had were the stars and the sound of the waves. Sobrang tahimik. Parehas tayong hindi nagsasalita. I was so curious about you.

that night, i wished you would kiss me. or hold me. it was so cold. but you never did anything. sabi ko sa sarili ko, ang torpe mo. i was all yours that night but you never even dare to touch my finger. hanggang sa umulan and we have to go home.

the next night, we had our night swimming with some friends. ang sweet natin. you look at me so intensely. nakakatunaw. Naghabulan tayo sa shore. Nagbabasaan ng tubig habang tumatakbo. Everyone who saw us got envy. They all asked tayo ba? And still, we just smiled.

all i know is that i feel so special that time. well everytime im with you.

we never speak what's inside our hearts. If there is. or if there is none. basta, we enjoy each other's company.

we have clean fun. you picked me up at the house. you dropped me off after the day. there's no date that has been set.

our vacation had ended. we have to go back to manila. we exchanged numbers.

on the first few days, we talk. we talk on the wee hours of the night. but after a month or two, bigla ka na lang nawala. i tried to call you at home pero unreachable. then i became busy and so hinayaan ko na lang. hindi na ulit kita nakausap.

then one night, you called. you told me you went to a friend's house and they asked you how's your relationship with me. if you're courting me or you have feelings for me. you said you didnt say anything.

but it came out of your mouth that you love me. i asked you what you feel for me, and you said you love me.. shock a little bit. surprise i guess.. i dont know. you said you cant be my boyfriend coz im still in school. ayaw mong makaabala sa studies ko.

i was so disappointed in you. siguro, dahil kahit papano, i like you na. i was wiling to be your girl. pero ayaw mo. sana hindi mo na lang sinabi na gusto mo ako.

we still talked after that. we talk sweet nothings. parang tayo na hindi. walang i love you. walang i miss you.

pero siguro ayoko ng ganong setup. i know you have feelings for me. i know i have feelings for you but i cannot say it. so i told you that we should never talk again not unless you are able to stand up with what you feel for me. isa pa, i dont know how i knew it but you had a girlfriend that time.

and so we didnt talk. months. i forgot all about you actually. until i was rushed into the hospital and need to undergo an operation.

for the very first time, when i was lying on my hospital bed, you came into my mind and i wished that hopefully i would feel your presence..

thank God, my phone beeped. and it was you. of all people. coz most of my friends didnt know i was in the hospital that time. and you told me, that you were ready to have a commitment with me. but then i found myself not inlove with you anymore.

i told you, you have to start from zero. coz i dont feel anything anymore towards you. that time, you were just a common friend. you were just a friend. you were not special anymore.

[inLUvWit'U]

I dont know if you really love me.. kase pagkatapos ng gabing sinabi mo na kaya mo ng panindigan ang nararamdaman mo para sa akin, bigla ka na namang naglaho. Katulad ng dati, hindi na ulit tayo nagusap. Sabi ko na lang sa sarili ko, baka hindi mo naman talaga ako mahal.

KInalimutan ulit kita. Nagconcentrate ako sa studies ko. i was taking nursing that time. sa dami ng duty ko sa ibat ibang lugar at sa dami ng stress na dala ng case studies namin, i dont think na nagkaroon ng pagkakataon na naalala ulit kita.

And summer vacation, here it goes again. I need to go back to my province. it was our family reunion. i would only spend three days.

and you were there.

so nagkita ulit tayo. nagusap na parang hindi tayo nagkahiwalay. nagbibiruan. nagtatawanan.

i asked you to come with me to the lil island where the reunion would take place. pero ayaw mo.

a friend of ours asked kung tayo ba. still, just like before, we smiled and both said hindi.

pero bakit parang tayo?

hindi ko alam.

nakakatuwa ka everytime na tinutukso kita sa akin. ang pula-pula mo. hindi ka makapagsalita. ako, wala lang. biro lang sa akin ang lahat. ur still just a casual, common person around me.

whenever you try to say a word and you cannot continue whatever your saying, im the one filling out the empty words of the sentence.
sabi mo nga, i always know what's on your mind.

i know there were an instance that i asked you how were you with your girlfriend. and you said just fine. kayo pa rin. un lang. wala ka na iba sinabi. gusto ko sana magkwento ka. pero mas nakabuti na rin na hindi.

on my last night of stay, you picked me from the house. we used your motor bike and drove around again like we used to do. now i was riding at your back. you told me to hold you as if like hug you so i wont fall but i refuse. i told you i can manage. since it was summer, like all other provinces maybe.. there were what they call "pasandal" for some, its "pasayaw". celebrating the Santa Cruzan.

We watched some of it. we tried not to be seen by other people. for reasons that they might asked us if we're a couple.

Ayoko na rin lang na tinatanong tayo. Though most of them suspects that we are.

You met my sister, my dad, and my cousin that night. My cousin was telling me that you're my boyfriend since he saw you at the house when we went home after the drive.

again, before you leave, we exchange numbers. but i never hope that we would talk again after that day.

coz were going back to manila. and we never talk when we're in manila. or if did, then siguro sandali lang. and we never see each other in manila.

[inLUvWit'U]

months had passed. summer had ended.. the rainy days came.. floods and strong winds..

It was JUly. soon. it would be your birthday.. i always wonder to be with you during your birthday. or even somehow talk to you and greet you a "Happy birthday"

well i think i was unlucky. i tried to call your home phone and i think that ur line was cut off...

and months passed away again. what i heard was you graduated in college already while im still on my last year.

i met a new guy. get to know this guy. say fell in love. we became a couple.

then you came again by the end of the year.

we talked and talked over the phone. i think we missed each other we did lots of talking.

i knew you visited the province during the Christmas season. you're still with your girlfriend. and somehow, you knew that i had a boyfriend already. you never commented about it.

what surprised me was when you told me that you had a girlfriend from the province. lets just say you've been a two-timer that time as they say.. having two girlfriends at the same time.

you were so funny... why did you court such girl from the province.. there are lots of girls in there, so why her?

well.. you told me stories of you with this girl. that you dated.. you watched movies. etcetera.. etcetera.. etcetera..

in the end, you told me that you broke up with her coz you dont really love her and you love more your girlfriend from college.

so i asked how's your girlfriend from college.. so you said a few words.. we talk. sometime. we dont see each other.

it was a question to me.. like you dont see each other.. you talk sometime.. but i didnt ask. who am i to ask personal questions like that...

from then on, you started calling me again.. i asked you to meet up with me and go out, like what friends do.. but you have so many excuses.. lame excuses.. you always say you cant. at some time, you promised to picked me up from my duty but u didnt.

so i told myself i dont think we would ever see each other again. coz in a few nick of time, id be leaving the country and dont know when will i go back.

on the second month of new year, my boyfriend and i are not doing good.. maybe its for the good of me.. since im leaving, i dont think i am able to make a serious commitment to anybody... i just want to enjoy the few months of my stay.

one night, i came home from school, so sad. so weak from the result of our graduation practice. i found out i wasnt a cum laude after all my hard work. it was a total shock to me, when somebody from the office already told me that im included. it was so devastating on my part. i really cried hard. and i found myself dialling your number. the phone rang, and you answered it. and you knew it was me. and i just cried and cried over and over.. you just listen. you asked but i prefer not to answer why. and you told me, you know why. you probably know why. i ended the call and we didnt talk after that.

days after, my family had plans of going back to the province. you called that night and i was so excited to tell you the news. i asked you to come with me at the province. i didnt have the second chance to ask you to come with me coz you bluntly refused to go.

maybe i got pissed off with you, coz i want to see you and you're always refusing to see me. so i told you that night that i guess we should never talk again. what's the point of talking when you cant even see who you're conversing with. i was so disappointed and i ended the conversation again. if you dont want. then okay. you dont want.

[inLUvWit'U]

months had passed. summer had ended.. the rainy days came.. floods and strong winds..

It was JUly. soon. it would be your birthday.. i always wonder to be with you during your birthday. or even somehow talk to you and greet you a "Happy birthday"

well i think i was unlucky. i tried to call your home phone and i think that ur line was cut off...

and months passed away again. what i heard was you graduated in college already while im still on my last year.

i met a new guy. get to know this guy. say fell in love. we became a couple.

then you came again by the end of the year.

we talked and talked over the phone. i think we missed each other we did lots of talking.

i knew you visited the province during the Christmas season. you're still with your girlfriend. and somehow, you knew that i had a boyfriend already. you never commented about it.

what surprised me was when you told me that you had a girlfriend from the province. lets just say you've been a two-timer that time as they say.. having two girlfriends at the same time.

you were so funny... why did you court such girl from the province.. there are lots of girls in there, so why her?

well.. you told me stories of you with this girl. that you dated.. you watched movies. etcetera.. etcetera.. etcetera..

in the end, you told me that you broke up with her coz you dont really love her and you love more your girlfriend from college.

so i asked how's your girlfriend from college.. so you said a few words.. we talk. sometime. we dont see each other.

it was a question to me.. like you dont see each other.. you talk sometime.. but i didnt ask. who am i to ask personal questions like that...

from then on, you started calling me again.. i asked you to meet up with me and go out, like what friends do.. but you have so many excuses.. lame excuses.. you always say you cant. at some time, you promised to picked me up from my duty but u didnt.

so i told myself i dont think we would ever see each other again. coz in a few nick of time, id be leaving the country and dont know when will i go back.

on the second month of new year, my boyfriend and i are not doing good.. maybe its for the good of me.. since im leaving, i dont think i am able to make a serious commitment to anybody... i just want to enjoy the few months of my stay.

one night, i came home from school, so sad. so weak from the result of our graduation practice. i found out i wasnt a cum laude after all my hard work. it was a total shock to me, when somebody from the office already told me that im included. it was so devastating on my part. i really cried hard. and i found myself dialling your number. the phone rang, and you answered it. and you knew it was me. and i just cried and cried over and over.. you just listen. you asked but i prefer not to answer why. and you told me, you know why. you probably know why. i ended the call and we didnt talk after that.

days after, my family had plans of going back to the province. you called that night and i was so excited to tell you the news. i asked you to come with me at the province. i didnt have the second chance to ask you to come with me coz you bluntly refused to go.

maybe i got pissed off with you, coz i want to see you and you're always refusing to see me. so i told you that night that i guess we should never talk again. what's the point of talking when you cant even see who you're conversing with. i was so disappointed and i ended the conversation again. if you dont want. then okay. you dont want.

[inLUvWit'U]

months had passed. summer had ended.. the rainy days came.. floods and strong winds..

It was JUly. soon. it would be your birthday.. i always wonder to be with you during your birthday. or even somehow talk to you and greet you a "Happy birthday"

well i think i was unlucky. i tried to call your home phone and i think that ur line was cut off...

and months passed away again. what i heard was you graduated in college already while im still on my last year.

i met a new guy. get to know this guy. say fell in love. we became a couple.

then you came again by the end of the year.

we talked and talked over the phone. i think we missed each other we did lots of talking.

i knew you visited the province during the Christmas season. you're still with your girlfriend. and somehow, you knew that i had a boyfriend already. you never commented about it.

what surprised me was when you told me that you had a girlfriend from the province. lets just say you've been a two-timer that time as they say.. having two girlfriends at the same time.

you were so funny... why did you court such girl from the province.. there are lots of girls in there, so why her?

well.. you told me stories of you with this girl. that you dated.. you watched movies. etcetera.. etcetera.. etcetera..

in the end, you told me that you broke up with her coz you dont really love her and you love more your girlfriend from college.

so i asked how's your girlfriend from college.. so you said a few words.. we talk. sometime. we dont see each other.

it was a question to me.. like you dont see each other.. you talk sometime.. but i didnt ask. who am i to ask personal questions like that...

from then on, you started calling me again.. i asked you to meet up with me and go out, like what friends do.. but you have so many excuses.. lame excuses.. you always say you cant. at some time, you promised to picked me up from my duty but u didnt.

so i told myself i dont think we would ever see each other again. coz in a few nick of time, id be leaving the country and dont know when will i go back.

on the second month of new year, my boyfriend and i are not doing good.. maybe its for the good of me.. since im leaving, i dont think i am able to make a serious commitment to anybody... i just want to enjoy the few months of my stay.

one night, i came home from school, so sad. so weak from the result of our graduation practice. i found out i wasnt a cum laude after all my hard work. it was a total shock to me, when somebody from the office already told me that im included. it was so devastating on my part. i really cried hard. and i found myself dialling your number. the phone rang, and you answered it. and you knew it was me. and i just cried and cried over and over.. you just listen. you asked but i prefer not to answer why. and you told me, you know why. you probably know why. i ended the call and we didnt talk after that.

days after, my family had plans of going back to the province. you called that night and i was so excited to tell you the news. i asked you to come with me at the province. i didnt have the second chance to ask you to come with me coz you bluntly refused to go.

maybe i got pissed off with you, coz i want to see you and you're always refusing to see me. so i told you that night that i guess we should never talk again. what's the point of talking when you cant even see who you're conversing with. i was so disappointed and i ended the conversation again. if you dont want. then okay. you dont want.

[inLUvWit'U]

sorry got triple posts..

[inLUvWit'U]

I went out with my girlfriends one night to celebrate our graduation and a friend's birthday. We dine in at the Fort and danced to the music on Jaipur after. we called it our girl's night out..

my phone beeped. there in the message section i read "im sorry if i cannot talk to you all the time. im sorry if i refuse to see you"

it was a new number. i thought of my boyfriend since we're not seeing each other too. maybe his making apology for his mistakes.
so i answered back and said its okay. you told me you cannot sleep well knowing i feel bad about you. and you just want us to be okay again.

i think we exchanged two or three text messages before i noticed that i am not texting with my boyfriend. i think you said something about going to the province which gave me a clue you're not my boyfriend. so i ask who you are. and you told me its you..

then again, you said sorry.. i said, you dont have to worry. it dont matter to me which actually it really did not. i know i dropped the phone the last time we talked but it doesnt mean im mad at you. you still said you cannot go.

i asked you to come over since im out. but that was late already. i think its 2am. u said you were tired. i didnt push you to anything then...

it was Saturday night. i was on my way to the port when you texted asking where am i already? i told you im along Quezon city hall that time. maybe it would take 30minutes to arrive at the port since its traffic.. well, that's Manila.

sabi ko, nakakainis ka kase hindi ka umuwi. mabobore ako ng husto sa province kase wala na *** mga kaibigan ko dun saka wala na *** mga ka-age ko na pede ko makasama pagagala or something. saka mabobore din ako sa ship coz its a five-hour trip and wala ako makakausap. .

you just said dont worry.. di ako mabobore. me mangungulit sa akin...

i arrived at the port. bunch of people are in there.. maingay. ang sikip sikip. i tried to find an empty chair to sit down. when i found my luck, i just waited for the guard to tell the passenger that we can go inside.

as i sit on the bench, i saw your mom adjacent on me. i looked around. i even texted you that im already there. as i looked back, i saw you. you were behind me. and if only you would look back too, you would probably see me. there were two people in between us.
you texted that you'll talk to me later.

i felt so glad that time. i thought that you were helping out your mom get the tickets. still, i didnt hope that you would come to the province. im happy i saw you. that's enough for me. even if we didnt talk personally that time, im happy i saw you. at least, before i leave, i saw a dear friend whom i havent seen for a year already.

[inLUvWit'U]

dear pexers,

i wasnt expecting anybody to read my poll.. but thanks for browsing in.. if you feel like you want to say something, feel free..

[loonietuntun]

.......................

[loonietuntun]

what's next???

[inLUvWit'U]

two hours after, i was sitting on the edge of the bed.. thinking.. staring to nowhere... i was already on the ship. suddenly, i said "hey!"

a man passed by before me..
he said "uy!"

i stared in shock for it was you carrying ur luggage.... how the hell on earth you are on the same ship where i am...

much to my surprise, your bed number was just opposite of mine..

small world.. you told me before, you dont like to see me.. or something like you wanted to avoid me and here you are just right beside me..

you were with your mom and some of your little cousins. im with my mom and my cousin...

it was really funny.. hahahha.. akalain mo nga naman.. ayaw mo umuwi non. we got our tickets a month ago already. ang hirap sumakay non kase holy week. fully book na ang ship or let say punuan talaga.. swerte na lang kung makakuha ka ng ticket that night too.. pero there you are.. just beside me..

parehas tayo nahihiya.. hindi tayo nagsasalita.. naguusap tayo sa text.. siguro parehas pa tayo shock.. we both changed.. you changed a lot again.. more good looking as i would say.. more better than the last time that i saw you. when was that?? a year ago? i guess..

midnight already.. i told you im hungry.. i havent had any penny on my pocket. kahit piso wala.. i forgot my wallet at home. sabi mo, you'll treat me. you'll meet me at the cafeteria of the ship.

i went to the cafeteria with my cousin. there you treat me with lucky me noodles. bulalo.. heheh.. in love na siguro ako that time. i still remember the flavor.. hehhe..

then after we went back to the deck..

when everyone was sleeping, we kept ourselves awake.. we talked. this time, we talked personally. we're both sitting on the bed. we tried to talk to soft so we would avoid waking up anybody.

i dont remember what we talked that night. but we lasted for hours. it was morning already when we ended.

before that, someone texted you. its your EX. from our place. she told you to come to her place. we're both surprise. where is she?
we supposed that somewhere in the ship, your ex is there, watching us. only, we cannot see her..

so the trip ended. and we both separate ways as we went home.. i know i will see you more often. your house is just four houses after mine. so near..

[inLUvWit'U]

i call myself as a newsmaker... kung sa part ng newspaper, ako ang headline palagi.. people will always talk about me.. bad and good things.. people, especially from our province would always love to know what's going on with me, who's my boyfriend, if I graduated already, worse, if i get married, even worst, kung buntis ba ako... for years, i get used to it... as long as i know what im doing and im not hurting anybody, i told myself i dont have to worry of what people think about me. they just envy me for i am so blessed.

you are the quiet type. mahiyain. pag kinakausap ka ng mga tao, especially pag di mo kilala, usually ngiti lang isinasagot mo. some people think you're suplado. mahilig kang makipagbiruan pero sa mga kakilala mo lang. ayaw mo ng buhay na komplikado. gusto mo lahat simple. ayaw mo ng malungkot. gusto mo lagi nakatawa kahit na kelangan magseryoso. siguro, that's your way to hide what you really feel inside.

i would say that our stay in the province made us closer. now, we always see each other. sometimes, we go to our friends house and just hang around.

one night, you went to the house. i told you ayaw kong lumabas. but i wanted us to talk. ayaw mo magpunta sa bahay kase sabi mo nga ang kalye namin ang sentro ng tsismis. sigurado ka na pag nagpunta ka, paguusapan lang tayo ng mga tao..

persuasive ako masyado. napilit kita. napunta ka.. we didnt talk inside the house. wala rin kase tao kaya di kita pinapasok. sa veranda tayo nagusap, where everyone who would walk by would see us..

nakakatuwa sila. meron sa kanila, dadaan lang kunwari para bumili sa tindahan, pero nakatingin sa atin. magpapabalik-balik pa sila ng daan para lang makasigurado na ikaw nga ang nasa bahay. *** isa kong Tita, lumapit pa talaga siya para lang alamin kung sino kausap ko. tapos, naguumpukan sila dun sa kabilang bahay, naguusap habang nakatingin sa atin. hindi nila alam, sila rin pinaguusapan natin non mga oras na un.

hindi ka mapakali nung oras na un. gustung-gusto mo na umalis pinipigilan kita. sabi ko hintayin mo na nanay ko dumating. kahit pa nahihirapan ka dahil kinakabahan ka, ewan ko kung bakit, nagstay ka pa rin at hinintay ang nanay ko. nung dumating nanay ko, *** mga kapitbahay ko, nagsilapitan sa nanay ko, siguro sinasabi nilang tatlong oras ka na sa bahay.. hehehehh.. mga tsismosa talaga.. di mo maiiwasan kung minsan...

after that night, we just texted. hindi na tayo masyado nagkita. my mom didnt comment for anything. she didnt ask if you're courting me or why you are at the house that night....

[inLUvWit'U]

i was so bored at the house.. palibhasa probinsiya, sobrang init.. maingay kase maraming sasakyan sa labas ng bahay. alas-kwatro ng hapon un. nagpunta ako sa dagat.. ilang hakbang lang kase... at least doon, malamig. tahimik.

wala pang limang minuto, nakita kitang paparating. siguro nakita mo ako ng dumaan ako sa bahay niyo. nakangiti ka.. ngumiti rin ako.. naupo ka sa kabilang side ng shed house.

nung una, hindi tayo naguusap. parehas lang tayo nagpapakiramdaman. masay ang pakiramdam ko. then u started the conversation.

me mga batang dumating.. naglalaro sila ng taguan. sabi mo. sumali tayo. sabi ko, ayaw ko. malaki na ako. hindi na bagay sa akin na maglaro ng taguan. pero sabi mo sige na. ikaw ang maghahanap. nagpatulong ka pa sa mga bata para pilitin ako. hanggang sa pumayag na rin ako.

nakisama ako sa mga bata pag takbo. sa takot kong gawin mo akong tagahanap, tumakbo ako ng malayo. nakita ko pa *** lola mo kasama ng mga kapitbahay niyo, tinanong nila ako kung asan ka, sabi ko na lang, naglalaro tayo...

humihingal ako sa sobrang pagod. sabi mo sa akin. ang dumi dumi ko. di ko alam kung saan ako napapunta at nagkaroon ng uling (charcoal) ang mukha ko at ang damit ko... para akong bata. pinapagalitan mo kase dugyot ako. ang tangkad mo pa naman. nakaharap ako sa iyo pero hindi ako makatingin ng diretso. nakatungo lang ako at ikaw pinipilit mong tanggalin ang uling sa mukha ko.. tapos sabi mo, tama na. maglinis na ako ng katawan. kaya umuwi na ako..

[inLUvWit'U]

siguro me nunal ang talampakan ko. hindi ako marunong tumigil ng bahay. kinabukasan umalis na naman ako. nagpunta ako sa bahay ng kaibigan natin. sabi ko, tambay lang ako. walang magawa sa bahay. dalawa lang kami ng nanay ko at natutulog siya pagkakain ng tanghalian. wala namang tv kase nga walang kuryente. gabi pa magkakaroon. hindi rin ako mahilig manood ng tv.

sabi niya sa akin, aalis siya. me sabong(cockfight) kase ng araw na iyon. paalis na nga siya. inaya niya ako sumama. meron naman kase sasakyan. sabi ko, sige, titingnan ko. di pa kase ako nakakarating sa ganoong lugar.

isinama niya ako. pagdating namin doon, kelangan daw ng yelo(ice) so kelangan niya bumalik. pretend like nasa mandaluyong *** sabungan, tapos *** kukuhanan ng yelo ay sa sampaloc. mjo malayo rin. pinakiusapan niya akong kumuha ng yelo para sa kanya. since me sasakyan, pumayag ako.

sinabihan ko yung driver na daanan ka sa bahay niyo para me kasama ako. isinama ko kse *** anak nung kaibigan natin. *** inaanak ko. tinext na kita. sabi mo wala ka sa bahay niyo. nasa matita mo ikaw. sabi ko pa rin dadaanan kita.

pagdating ko sa bahay niyo, nakita ko lola mo. *** ibang tao takot sa lola mo kase masungit daw. pero sa akin ang bait bait ng lola mo. ipinagpaalam kita. umokey naman siya. sinama ko na rin un batang pinsan mo babae.

dinaanan ka namin sa tita mo. basang basa ka ng tubig non. nagaayos ka kamo ng gripo. sabi ko okay lang. matutuyo ka rin naman. nakita tayo ng isa mong pinsan. katulad ng inaasahan, tinukso tayo. katulad ng dati natin ginagawa, ngumiti lang tayo.

nakabalik tayo sa sabungan, pagbaba natin ng sasakyan, karga mo na inaanak ko kase nakatulog na. akay ko naman *** pamangkin mo. siempre marami tao, nakita nila tayo. para tayong young couple. me anak and everything. tinukso ulit nila tayo. tinanong ka pa nung isang bading kung ano ba talaga relasyon natin dalawa. nagtuluy-tuloy lang ako paglalakad.

after thirty minutes, inaya na kitang umuwi. mainit na kase saka naiingayan na ako. hinatid mo ako sa bahay at umuwi ka na rin.

nagpahinga lang ako sandali. nagpalipas ng oras sa bahay hanggang sa lumamig ang panahon.

mga bandang alas-singko, umalis ulit ako. nagpunta ako sa bahay ng bestfriend ko. wala dun ang bestfriend ko pero since *** tita niya eh parang tita ko na rin, nakipagkuwentuhan ako sa kanya. me tindahan sila kaya ako na tumao sa tindahan. katapat lang nila bahay niyo di ba.

maya-maya, lumabas ka ng bahay. bagong ligo. trip kong maglaro non kaya inaya kita. sabi ko patintero tayo since andun naman *** mga bata. sabi mo ayaw mo. pagpapawisan ka. maarte ka kase. ayaw mo ng pinagpapawisan. tapos bigla ka na lang nawala. hindi ko alam kung san ka nagpunta.

ilang minuto pa ang nakalipas, dumaan *** kaibigan natin na nasa sabungan. tapos na raw ang laban. naka-bisikleta siya. sabi ko, isama naman niya ako kase gusto ko magala. iniangkas niya ako sa bisikleta. ang liit ng bike niya. natutumba pa kami.

nagpunta kami palengke para bumili ng ulam ng gabing un. wala siya nabili gulay kaya sabi niya lipat kami dun sa maliit na tindahan isang kanto matapos ang palengke. nakita ko pa *** pamilya ng ex ko dati. binati nila ako at kinumusta. ngumiti lang ako.

ng makabalik kami bisikleta, malapit na kami sa tindahan, sabi ko ikaw yung nakikita ko sa mountain bike. me dalawa pa bisikleta. isang babae at isang batang lalake.

parehas kami natawa ng kaibigan ko. ikaw nga yun. kasama mo ang pinsan mong lalake. *** babaeng nakikita namin eh *** ex mo.

napakataas ng tensyon nung mga oras na un. natatawa kang hindi makapagsalita. sabi mo na lang, "ang galing mo talaga". sabi ng kaibigan ko sayo "lagot ka". ang nasabi ko na lang, "isakay mo naman ako sa bisikleta mo kase nahuhulog na ako dito sa bisikleta namin". *** ex mo, parang nabigla rin siya na makita ko kayo.

sa loob-loob ko, parang me dumagan na napakalaking elepante sa akin. ang bigat ng dibdib ko. hindi ko maipaliwanag. gusto kong mainis sayo kase nakita kita kasama ang ex mo pero alam kong wala naman ako dahilan. alam ko nung mga oras na yun, ayaw na kitang kausapin. tapos bigla ka na rin ulit naglaho...

nung araw na iyon, tahimik akong umuwi ng bahay. dumaan muna ako sa tita ng bestfriend ko para magmano. nandon nanay mo kaya nagmano na rin ako. gabi na kase. nagtatakbo ako pauwi non. gusto kong mapalayo sa lugar niyo. kahit alam kong wala naman din akong tatakbuhan...

[inLUvWit'U]

pagdating ko ng bahay, tahimik lang ako. ayaw kong magsalita. ang sama- sama talaga ng loob ko... tinext ako ng kaibigan natin. tinanong kung okay lang ba ako. sagot ko lang "oo naman". hindi ka nagtetext nun.

inaya ako ng nanay ko lumabas. maglakad-lakad daw kami. puntahan namin *** mga kaibigan at katrabaho niya dati. para malibang, sumama na ako. ayw ko naman kase magmukmok sa bahay.

siguro ako na ang pinakamalas na tao ng gabing un. sa panlimang bahay na pinuntahan namin, nakita ko ang ex mo. kapitbahay niya ang kaibigan ng nanay ko. since matanda na, dun pinapatulog ang ex mo sa bahay nila.

dedma lang ako. magkakilala kaming dalawa pero hindi ako ang tipong babatiin siya at kukumustahin. naiinis talaga ako sa kanya. text siya ng text. iniisip ko ikaw ang katext niya... ang daya mo, siya tinitext mo tapos ako hindi mo man lang kumustahin.

naiinis talaga ako. gusto kong ayain ang nanay ko umuwi na lang pero masarap ang kuwentuhan nilang magkaibigan. siguro insecure nga ako sa exm o. pero hindi naman siya maganda. mas maputi lang siya sa akin. ang payat niya. sobrang skinny. i dont think masarap siyang ihug man lang. maya-maya, umalis siya. dala niya ang bisikleta niya. ayaw siya payagan ng mommy niya pero sumige pa rin siya. siguro ikaw kakatagpuin non kse pagdating syo, eh lahat ginagawa nun kahit na hindi puwede.

sa inis ko, tinext ko *** bestfriend ko at nagsumbong sa kanya ng ngyari. tawa lang siya ng tawa sa akin. sabi niya nagseselos lang daw ako. defensive ako. wala naman kase ako karapatan magselos sayo. bakit kase kelangan ko pa kayo makita dalawa... me usapan ba kayo magkikita nung araw na un kaya ayaw mo makipaglaro sa akin? ah basta.. naiinis ako..

hindi na rin kita tinext nung gabing un. i dont think kelangan pa kita itext.. kahit ng sumunod na araw, hindi rin ako nagtext sayo. ikaw man, hindi rin nagparamdam sa akin. hindi na rin tayo nagkita. sa madaling salita, iniwasan na natin ang isa't-isa.

tinatanong ako ng kaibigan natin kung kumusta na tayo. sabi ko hindi kita nakakausap kaya wala akong alam sayo.

nagkuwento siya sa akin. nagtext ka pala sa kanya nung gabing nakita ko kayo ng ex mo. naiinis ka sa kanya kase sabi mo bakit kelangan niya pa ako dalhin dun sa lugar na iyon. ipinaliwanag niya sayo na di naman niya sinasadya. saka tinanong ka rin niya kung ano ba ikinakatakot mo kung makita kitang kasama ang ex mo. sinabi niya rin sa akin na hindi ka mapakali ng oras na un at pinagpawisan ka ng husto ng makita mo kaming paparating.

[inLUvWit'U]

sa tuwing magiisa lang ako.. naiisip kita. iniisip ko kung bakit ka ba umuwi ng probinsya kase sabi mo hindi ka pwede umuwi.

nung nasa barko tayo at tinanong kita kung bakit ka umuwi, sabi mo kase sinabi ko. saka gusto mo ako makita. natuwa ako ng malaman na ako ang dahilan ng pag-uwi mo. alam ko kase na hindi ka talaga pede umuwi non.

ibig sabihin dapat lang na bibigyan mo ako ng time kase ako ang iniuwi mo pero bakit ganon kung saan saan ka nagpupunta. nung mga huling beses kase na inaaya kita kasama *** kaibigan natin, lagi ka na lang me dahilan para lang hindi ka makasama or makapunta. parang iniiwasan mo ako na hindi ko maintindihan. ang sweet sweet mo pag tinitext ako. sobrang special ang treatment mo sa akin kapag magkasama tayo... pero wala ka sinasabi kahit ano. hindi ko naman din iniisip na nararamdaman mo pa rin *** sinabi mo dati na gusto mo ako ilang taon na..

ako, hindi ko alam kung ano ka ba sa buhay ko. alam ko, masaya ako kapag kasama kita. secure ako basta anjan ka sa tabi ko. pede akong magpakatotoo pag ikaw kasama ko. hindi ako nabobore. hindi ako nalulungkot. lagi mo ako pinapatawa. saka sabi mo, gusto mo lagi mo akong makita masaya.

everytime na magkasama tayo at merong mangungumusta sa akin, tinatanong kung kelan ba ang alis ko papunta ibang bansa, ngumingiti lang ako. hindi ko masagot ang tanong nila kase everytime na titingnan kita, nakatingin ka sa malayo. i can see in your eyes na parang ayaw mo pagusapan na aalis ako. your eyes show na parang gusto mo akong pigilan pag-alis ko pero hindi mo naman masabi. alam mo rin naman na hindi ako mapipigilan.

kung minsan, gusto kong maging extra sweet sayo. kaya lang, parang hindi tama. magkaibigan tayong dalawa. kung minsan gusto kong magdemand sayo pero alam ko naman na wala akong karapatan. siguro nga gusto na kita. siguro, nahuhulog na ang loob ko sayo, ayaw ko lang aminin kase natatakot akong malaman na hindi pala magkaparehas ang nararamdaman nating dalawa.

i promised myself na bago ako umalis ng province, malinaw na sa akin kung ano ba ang damdamin ko para sayo at kung meron ka mang nararamdaman para sa akin. ayaw kong umalis na hindi ko alam kung san ba ako nakalugar sa puso mo, kung meron man ba...

kung wala man, okay lang. ayoko ring maging makasarili na pilitin kang mahalin ako tapos iiwanan din lang naman kita pagkatapos. at least nalaman ko kung bakit ba espesyal ako sayo...

[inLUvWit'U]

it was Good Friday... i attended the procession held in town with my family. i saw you. you were so good looking. you were with your mom. i dont know if you saw me. there were a bunch of people out there.

after the procession, i went to our friend's house. i know you will go there too.. we talked the night before and i told you that i wanted us to talk on some matters. you told me that you're not sure if you can go. still, i went.

you were already there when i arrived. you're sitting on their sofa. her dad is there and some of her nephews and nieces. you greeted me. i didnt say hello back. i passed by in front of you like i didnt see you. i did that coz when i saw you, i remembered the day when i saw you with your ex girlfriend. i cannot talk yet.

after a while, you left. i told our friend to ask you to come back. how foolish of me.. i asked you to come again not knowing if i would be able to talk to you. you said you wont go back coz i dont talk to you. you feel like you're stupid. you said hi but it seemed like i didnt notice you at all.

[honeyline]

i love this... hopeless romantic talaga ako... hahaha... keep it coming...

[Mz.027]

there is this guy whom i fell in love with i havt see him or even talk to him in person... weve so much in common like in our Personality,, attitude, likes and other stuff..

our story begun around the month of june last yr.. i met him in a
chatroom he PM me curious about my ID which is "lady_libra" he
ask my asl and so as i... then we started.. talking getting to know
each other.. the first thing i like about him was we have the same
favorite song which is "iris" by goo goo dolls. ive never met
anyone on the net that know that song aside from him.. bu that
time i have a bf..

The time i knew that i love him was just because of a single pic
of me and a friend of mine.. when i show it to him he keeps on
asking me about my friend. so i told him enough you can't see
that pic again! and why he said i said im jealous!! hehehe take
note he is not my bf.. heheh about my bf.. i broke up with him to
be with him..

Now the real story begins... Our story would never end without
fights.. we cannot say that we want to fight.. we do often fight...
we argue w/ each other before our first monthsarry we argue
about maybe 15x! just before our monthsarry... crazy... but still
we made it


our story is full of heartache, pain, tears, downfalls, and also
possitive things... almost everything... we have accomplish a lot
of trials... there ar times that we settle for a date for us to meet
but i guess time ang god wont let us!!! in every date somthing
come across...


and now i think it wont gonna happen again.. coz im here and his
there.. he told me that i left him there all alone ... and im also
here just like him all alone.. sad to be far to the one you love...

it was august 2, 2006 our flight was 10pm. that was the last time i
recieve a txt from him... im sad and scared to say goodbye to
him.. that maybe after that there will be no communication again.
he told me that during that time when i said that i need to turn off
my cp... he cried..

loving him was the beautiful thing that happend to me.. simply by
knowing him makes me complete. Talking to him everyday
makes my day complete.. some people says that this kind of
relationship doesn't work.. but who cares.. i love him and that's
it....


but now were apart again and again and again... just a question
for you who's been reading this.. " How can you say goodbye to
the one that is most beautiful that happen to you.. to the one who
completes you.. how to let go of that person whom you love
most... and knowing that he loves you to...


once he said that im stuck up to my past why not forget the
past.. well for me my past in this last yr.. is very memorable i
can't forget it just like that... simply just bcoz of him.. He plays a
special role in my past.. you are part of my past my present and
hope for the future.. in my past you make me a future... in my
past you hurt me.. in my past you told me you love me.. and youll
wait for me..


i do trust you.. ive given it all to you... but you broke it you break
my chain of trust in you.. i told ou before not to break it coz iy will
be hard to rebuilt it... but yes again i give you my trust... but
unlike bfore.. as ive told you im afraid to be back with you again..
im afraid to feel all those.. saddness.. and pains.. i dont want to
see my self crying all night until i fall asleep.. all i can do is cry..
with no one to talk to..

maybe ur right im stuck to my past.. well? so? you know what
for me at first i hate my past i do hate it! until you came.. just like
in the song "thanks to you"... that is my message for you..

Time is a big part of every individual.. only time can tell when to
start to begin to be done, finish, and tells goodbyes...
when you heard a love story it start with one day. Our love story
begns with one day with the up comming months.. until this day
love was never been perfect.. yes it can be true but never
perfect..a person can never be perfect.. and i guess it only
depends on the person to tell when to start and when to end..

well my msg here was.. to say that.. ill just keep a distance from
you know.. put me in your past and forget abouut me.. leave me
there for you to move on.. im not going to bother you again.. for
me.. saying goodbye to you is the hardest thing i ever do... it
breaks me to say that.. sorry but i must.. hard but true.. you will
alway be a very most important person in my life.. ilove you

mhal.. i will always do.. love you.. let destiny work for us..
and this trials are made to be solved!!!... ilove you goodbye... ilove
you... bbye n poh muna.. ( (

====================

Bakit ganun ha? after nating magkabalikan and 10 months na tayo? you promised me everything... even my future... i see my future to be with you ngyong 10 months na tayo? all i asked was to see you... niyaya mo kong magpakasal.. sabi mo pupunta ka ** sa NY pero diba kung ikaw man ang pakakasalan ko gusto ko lang malamn mo lahat ng gumugulo sa isipan ko... i just want to fair and honest sayo... alam ko sa gumugulo sa icip ko ikakagalit mo yun pero ang pagkakaalam ko it is your right to know dahil pakakasalan kita... pero you turn your back and told me i dont trust you... i dont give you all my trust... because of my doubts about you... ang gusto ko lang naman is mwala yung mga pagdududa ko at masagot na lahat ng gumugulo sa icip ko at maibgay lahat ng trust ko sayo...

then now march 27,2007 nung binangit ko lahat ng gumugulo sa isip ko sknya it's our monthsary. then yun ang sinabi nya sakin i dont give my full trust sa kanya...

after namin mghiwalay nalaman kong my iba na siya ngayon... my bago na syang gf... na frend namin... yun ang masakit eh... kakahiwalay lang namin my iba na sya... well i ask him kung happy ba siya sa new gf nya... he says yes... well ano p bang magagawa ko kung masaya na siya dun... all i want is maging happy sya so i really have to let him go... kahit masakit.. pero i have to... i just have to move on... and continue life without him... im just gonna start from the beggining again.. it hurt so badly to be broken like this...( sabi p nya sakin he didn't intend to love her... hindi daw nya sinasadya yun... pero diba kung mahal mo **** ang isang tao hindi mo mggawang tumingin or pagisipan na mag cheat... sobrang sobra na binigay kong pagmamahal sobra sobrang sakit din natanggap ko.... ang sakit sakit sobra hindi ko alam kung pano ako maguumpisa... ang hirap hirap

[inLUvWit'U]

After a few minutes, you came back... we sat together, side by side, like we used to do. i tried to forget what i saw. we even took pictures together. we're like pretending we were okay.

A highschool friend of mine came by asking me to go with them to one of my friend's birthday. i refused to go and told her that i have to deal with some things and our friend would understand if i dont go. just save some lobsters and crabs for me and ill be fine..

after she and her boyfriend left, i asked you if we could talk. you avoided me. you even told me that you cannot. ayaw mo magsalita. sinabi ko sayo na hindi ako pedeng bumalik ng manila na hindi ko alam kung ano ba talaga ang meron sa ating dalawa. iniwasan mo ako. umalis ka ng bahay. naiiyak na ako non. bakit ayaw mo ako kausapin. bakit ayaw mo ayusin ang mga bagay-bagay sa atin. bakit gusto mo na naguguluhan ako sa nararamdaman ko. nagsorry ka dahil nakita kitang kasama ang ex mo. hindi mo naman kelangan magsorry kung wala ka nararamdaman para sa akin di ba..

sabi ko sa kaibigan natin, hindi pede matapos ang gabi na hindi natin napaguusapan ang tungkol sa atin. nagtext ka. sabi mo hindi mo talaga kayang sabihin sa akin ang nararamdaman mo. tinanong kita kung bakit. malay mo, parehas pala tayo ng nararamdaman. siguro lahat ng pangungumbinsi ginawa ko para lang umamin ka.

tinawagan mo ako sa cellphone. sinabi mo lahat. mula ng una tayong magkita nung college. hanggang sa nakita mo ako ngayon. sabi mo pinipilit mo talagang iwasan ako para hindi na madagdagan pa ang nararamdaman mo para sa akin. kaya kahit ilang beses kita inaya lumabas nung nasa manila tayo eh hindi ka sumasama. kung bakit ka nasa probinsya ngayon, hindi mo alam. hindi mo ako matiis. kahit anong pilit mo na iwasan ako, merong isang bagay na humahatak syo palapit sa akin. alam mo ang lahat ng ngyari sa akin. ng nagkaboyfriend ako, nakipagbreak ako, ang dahilan ng pagiyak ko ng minsang tumawag ako sa bahay niyo, ng maging cum laude ako (i graduated as cum laude) kahit hindi ko sinasabi sayo, ang pag-alis ko kahit hindi natin pinaguusapan. ayaw mong mahalin ako sa takot na masasaktan lang ikaw sa pag-alis ko. sinabi mo rin na me girlfriend ka sa manila at alam ko iyon. na hindi mo pedeng ipagsawalang- bahala rin ang girlfriend mo kahit na hindi na kayo nagkikita at hindi naguusap. nung makita kita kasama ang ex girlfriend mo, sabi mo hindi ka mapakali. hindi mo alam kung bakit natatakot kang makita kita. hindi mo kayang aminin sa sarili mo na mahal mo na ako kase mahirap iyong sitwasyon natin dalawa. sabi mo pa, langit ako, lupa ka (eew, corny pero totoo), hindi tayo magkalevel. na magkaibigan tayong dalawa pero parang pinagsamantalahan mo ang kabaitan ko sayo.

those times, hindi ko alam kung ano pa rin ba ang mararamdaman ko, pero gumaan ang pakiramdam ko. pinabalik kita sa bahay. tumanggi ka at sinabi mong wala ka ng mukhang maihaharap sa akin. pagkatapos ng lahat ng sinabi mo, hindi mo alam kung pano ka pa makikipagusap sa akin. nakiusap na lang ako sa iyo na ihatid mo ako sa bahay pauwi.

and you came back....